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considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

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jmp1105
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/11

553 total posts

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considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I'm considering leaving my job to stay home with our kids. I really have always pictured myself as a SAHM, but since i worked hard and spent a lot of money to go to law school and become a lawyer I have that tiny bit of hesitation walking away from my career.

financially, since we wouldn't have to pay a nanny anymore it wouldn't put us in a much different place financially than we are now.

any working moms regret leaving their career to become a SAHM? right now i am so obsessed with staying home with my kids that I'm afraid I'm not seeing an obvious downside.

I welcome all opinions!

Posted 5/20/15 3:48 PM
 
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I don't regret it for a second. Yes I miss the perks of my job and the feeling of being productive, etc. I'm a very social person and I have made a ton of friends and even started my own new mom group so we are always keeping busy. This time with my dd, and soon to be second dd, is priceless. I feel bad for dh that he misses her during the day and misses out on a lot.

It's not for everyone. Only you know if you'd be happy.

Posted 5/20/15 3:52 PM
 

ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..

Member since 5/12

7482 total posts

Name:
Mama

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I am a working mom and considered being SAHM and I would do it in a heartbeat, if I could but financially we just can't swing it. :(

Posted 5/20/15 3:54 PM
 

ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls

Member since 2/09

20494 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

Posted by ThreeforTea

I am a working mom and considered being SAHM and I would do it in a heartbeat, if I could but financially we just can't swing it. :(



Same here. I'd love to but we need my paycheck. About 6 months ago, I cut down to 4 days a week and I've been happier.

Posted 5/20/15 4:00 PM
 

2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!

Member since 5/10

2954 total posts

Name:
D

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

For me I know staying at home with my kids means I would want to do so much with them..which in turn would mean $$$. I have 3 kids and a 4th on the way. I have tried to be a SAHM before.

I'm not really good at staying home..I have to constantly do things, go out to eat, etc. and I couldn't make my husband work all day to fund my habits lol.

So for me I enjoy working and making my own money so on weekends I can do so much with the kids and my husband and it not be a burden to our financial situation.

ETA that some weeks I do only a 4 day work week to make appointments for kids.

Message edited 5/20/2015 4:09:48 PM.

Posted 5/20/15 4:08 PM
 

jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us

Member since 4/13

7238 total posts

Name:
Jessica

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I'm FTWM, and I would LOVE to become a SAHM, and financially, it wouldn't be a HUGE big deal. BUT, we'd probably have to cut back on some things we really enjoy. Plus, I'd love to keep DS in daycare at least part-time, and that costs big-time bucks for PT. That said, I am actively looking for a new job, for many reasons, but I would ultimately love a telecommuting position. This way I can work from home, still drop DS off at daycare when needed, and spend less time traveling and all the issues that come along with commuting.

Posted 5/20/15 4:13 PM
 

jmp1105
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/11

553 total posts

Name:

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

Posted by ANewDayHasCome

I don't regret it for a second. Yes I miss the perks of my job and the feeling of being productive, etc. I'm a very social person and I have made a ton of friends and even started my own new mom group so we are always keeping busy. This time with my dd, and soon to be second dd, is priceless. I feel bad for dh that he misses her during the day and misses out on a lot.

It's not for everyone. Only you know if you'd be happy.



thanks. I know i'll be happy. I grew up with a SAHM and I always thought I'd be home with my babies.

the days that I am home with them I just feel more fulfilled than any day at work.

Posted 5/20/15 4:21 PM
 

BaysideForever
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

9976 total posts

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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

do it! we go into debt so I can do it but she will only be this little once and i have the rest of my life to work to pay bills. ive always dreamed of being a sahm. its def. rough at times but like others said, you will know if it is for you.

Posted 5/20/15 4:26 PM
 

jmp1105
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/11

553 total posts

Name:

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

thanks for all the responses.

I think watching what i spend a little more and getting used to the idea of not earning money on my own will be the biggest change for me.

Posted 5/20/15 4:29 PM
 

jmp1105
LIF Adolescent

Member since 12/11

553 total posts

Name:

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

Posted by BaysideForever

do it! we go into debt so I can do it but she will only be this little once and i have the rest of my life to work to pay bills. ive always dreamed of being a sahm. its def. rough at times but like others said, you will know if it is for you.



thank you!!! I appreciate your encouragement!

Message edited 5/20/2015 4:54:11 PM.

Posted 5/20/15 4:30 PM
 

Loveme
LIF Adult

Member since 6/11

3170 total posts

Name:
Me

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

Like you, I worked hard for my degree and became a SAHM very reluctantly. But looking back I wouldn't change a thing. I love being home with DS and I can go back to work whenever I want. I won't get these years back to watch my son grow. If you have the means to do it and DH is on board Id say go for it.
I won't lie, it gets lonely sometimes, but I have a few SAHM friends and we get together often. Plus I try to get out of te house every day, whether it's an errand or just for a drive.

Posted 5/20/15 4:55 PM
 

Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU

Member since 3/07

13921 total posts

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ETC I LOVE YOU

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

When I moved oos with my family I became a sahm. Some days I love it. Some days are very hard for me. I miss the interaction with co workers. And here in NH it didnt help we had over 70 inches of snow this winter so we were trapped like rats lol. If you have a chance to do it though, i say go for it.

Posted 5/20/15 4:58 PM
 

MrsT809
LIF Adult

Member since 9/09

12167 total posts

Name:

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

No regrets although sometimes I wonder if I'll have small regrets in the future. I am a saver by nature so I wish we could be saving more for our future, for our girls' education, for a bigger house someday but for now we get by just fine. I love being home and like you always saw this in my future so it is so fulfilling to see that come true. I think it's easy to be frugal as a sahm bc I have time to cook, don't need childcare, have plenty of playdates that don't cost a thing. We don't go on expensive vacations, have fancy parties, or the picture perfect house but I don't mind any of that. I will go back to work someday but for now I'm enjoying being home.

Posted 5/20/15 5:07 PM
 

SLPRunner
LIF Adult

Member since 12/13

1101 total posts

Name:

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I really thought about staying home before I went back to work after maternity leave. At the time I couldn't imagine leaving my 12 week old baby in daycare. It was hard, but I felt better getting back part of my life. I ended up getting a new job with a better commute too so that helped. I'd say think about. Maybe see if you can go part time. Or if you know you could easily go back anytime. In my situation, we could swing it financially but it would be more difficult. I would have to think twice about buying things for my DS, mommy and me classes. I'll be home over the summer with my DS soon and I hope I won't have a hard time going back to work in September.

Posted 5/20/15 8:13 PM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5435 total posts

Name:

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I had a very good job- a Speech Therapist in an elementary school. so- good hours, benefits, it was rewarding, etc.
BUT we adopted DS 3 years ago (he was 21 months old) and i just couldn't go back to work Chat Icon he's now 4.5, and i've been a SAHM almost 3 years. in my case, Speech is a very "big" field now... and i know i'll be able to find some position to go back to- in a school, EI, rehab center, etc. i've been keeping up with my continuing ed hours so i don't lapse my license, too.
i honestly wouldn't trade it for anything. time goes SO SO fast with kids- especially in these first 5/6 years before they start school. so much development, learning, etc goes on- and its nice to be around for all of it.
i do have to say though- its definitely not for everybody. its EXHAUSTING being DS only entertainment all day, every day. LOL and just being the one who is "on" for him most of the time. theres definitely been more than one day when I've wished i had a daycare i could drop him off at for the day. We don't have any family in the area, either... so it makes it tough bc we don't have anybody right here to take him for an hour or so- even for me to go get a haircut or to go to a doctors appt without him in tow.
and bc i stay home, DH refuses to pay people to do anything.... which means even when DH is home, he's out doing yard work, fixing things on the house, etc.... so i end up still being the one to keep DS out of the way. i'm not exaggerating when i say its non-stop.
i still wouldn't trade it, and i know i'm blessed to be able to be home with him. i would just make sure you build into the budget/schedule that you get some time without the kids bc there will be a lot of stuff you need to do but can't with them. so- whether its keeping them in daycare part time, or hiring a cleaning person to help out with that stuff... whatever. just make sure you don't get overwhelmed.

Posted 5/20/15 9:00 PM
 

nycgirl
Angels!

Member since 3/09

7721 total posts

Name:

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I always fantasized about staying home. We could swing it financially. Thought about it seriously with child 1 & 2.

I also have a prestigious career which I'm proud of, enjoy, & took lots of education & training. However, I could not realistically "re-enter" into my position in a few years.

With this pregnancy, I was placed on bedrest. It was the worst thing ever. I realized:
1. I don't miss much with the kids during the day
2. Staying home is not like vacation
3. It is really very boring if your kids are in school or preschool
4. I spend tons of quality time with my kids when I get home through when I go to sleep
5. I'm really proud of what I was able to accomplish & would like my DDs to strive for the same
6. I like being a financially equal partner to my husband
7. I like the security & savings for the future my job affords us.
8. I'd go insane taking my kids to & from school. They start school at 3!!!

Law is very different based on what kind of job you have. I know part timers & those with their own firms. Easier to walk if you are a part timer or employee.

Posted 5/20/15 10:01 PM
 

Mrs213
????????

Member since 2/09

18986 total posts

Name:

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I am a working mom. This is my last week of maternity with my 2nd kid. I have a 2.5 yr old girl and a 11 weeks old DS. I think staying home is not an easy gig and although I loathe having to go back to work, I think working part time would be my ideal situation. It does get really boring staying home all the time and trying to find things to do (at least for me it is) I really have to hand it to the SAHM as it is really a lot of work, especially once you start having more than one kid. If you are up for it and that is what makes you happy I think as long as you can afford it, go for it.

ETA: my situation is a little different, I work retail hours, manager at a great company and have wonderful co-workers who I actually consider very good friends. The flexible schedule will allow me to not miss things like Halloween, school fields trips and things of that nature in the future. Some days I don't go in until 1pm so I have the whole morning with the kids so it's a little different. I really don't feel like i miss watching them grow...

Message edited 5/20/2015 10:16:57 PM.

Posted 5/20/15 10:10 PM
 

Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I LOVE being a SAHM, it's the one thing in my life I was completely sure I wanted to do. I've never been happier or more content and I don't miss working one bit. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone but for me it was the best decision I ever made. If you can swing it financially and you're okay giving up your career I say go for it, I don't think most people would regret more time with their children. Chat Icon

Posted 5/20/15 10:44 PM
 

LIRascal
drama. daily.

Member since 3/11

7287 total posts

Name:
Michelle

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I don't love being a SAHM. I would love my old job back where I stayed home all day and taught night school when DH got home. I loved that dynamic and balance of still using my mind but being there for my children. I lost that opportunity when they cut the program, but I also gave birth to DS at that time, so I didn't mind staying home. By Feb. I was losing my mind and we desperately need my paycheck back. I did the same thing over and over every day, and no matter how many learning activities I pulled out of my butt, I miss real teaching.
I recently picked my aunt's brain because she left her job at Princeton to be a SAHM. Like a pp said, she reinvented herself by running mommy groups, heading committees at school and at the library. She still used her mind while being home with DS.
Good luck!

Posted 5/20/15 11:13 PM
 

CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...

Member since 8/11

3550 total posts

Name:
Cindy

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I am a FTWM and I worked really hard to get my engineering degrees to ever want to quit to be a SAHM. I know financially we could do it but I really enjoy my job and I need that mental stimulation. I give props to those that are SAHM's because I could never do it. I never ever considered being a SAHM but if that is something you really want to do then I would go for it you can always go back later or maybe consider PT or do some consulting if thats an option.

Posted 5/21/15 7:58 AM
 

StarsStripes
LIF Adult

Member since 12/12

1192 total posts

Name:

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I would give my left arm to stay at home! Maybe you can work from home part time for awhile to transition and see if its something for you. Good luck@

Posted 5/21/15 8:01 AM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4431 total posts

Name:
Karen

considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I am a SAHM and would not have it any other way. Luckily we are financial able for me to stay home and it did not change how we live/things we like to do. Now that DD is in school, I am very busy. More so then what I thought. I am on two PTA boards, I am on committees for the district and I am out of the house almost daily at meetings or volunteering for something. I am able to go and help out at all of DD's school functions and field trips. I still have time for myself and can get my hair cut/nails done, go shopping at my leisure. I made a ton of friends and we have fun. I try to get everything done during the week so our weekends can be "family time". People ask me all the time when I'm going back to work and I'm like NEVER lol.

Posted 5/21/15 8:13 AM
 

shellbebaby
So In Love!

Member since 8/11

1487 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

I would try to think about this long term instead of short term. Because rejoining the work force in 10-20 years won't be easy. What is your plan when your child leaves for college? As a lawyer I imagine if you don't keep up with your job it would be hard to go back to someday.

My mom left working to be a SAHM. She loved it. She was involved in the PTA, class mom, picked me up from school daily, helped with the senior fashion show, prom, etc....

And then I left for college. She hadn't worked in 15 years, so no one would hire her for any decent job.suddenly she was bored and lonely.

Now she watches DD when I go to work. I'm currently part time. She plays tennis 2 days a week. Otherwise she's still a SAHW and has a lot of free time and wishes for a second income, instead of a lot of time on her hands to go shopping.

That said I left my field the minute I decided I wanted a family because TV production I worked 18-20 hour days when we were in production. I'm doing book-keeping for my dad part time and I hate it, but it's money to buy DD clothes and for groceries. Most likely I will end up a SAHM because I'm not sure what else I'll be able to do with an MFA in Visual Media living in the suburbs and unwilling to commute. I was trying to buy a store I worked in as a kid but that fell through.

Message edited 5/21/2015 8:49:52 AM.

Posted 5/21/15 8:40 AM
 

BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

Name:
Mrs. B

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

Posted by ThreeforTea

I am a working mom and considered being SAHM and I would do it in a heartbeat, if I could but financially we just can't swing it. :(



This is me 1000%

I would quit in a heartbeat to be able to stay home and raise my babies.

Posted 5/21/15 8:52 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?

Posted by CindySN23

I am a FTWM and I worked really hard to get my engineering degrees to ever want to quit to be a SAHM. I know financially we could do it but I really enjoy my job and I need that mental stimulation. I give props to those that are SAHM's because I could never do it. I never ever considered being a SAHM but if that is something you really want to do then I would go for it you can always go back later or maybe consider PT or do some consulting if thats an option.



This is me.
I could never do it because I am not cut out for it at all, but in addition my field is such that if you are out of it for a few years, you are out of it.
It changes so much and when we look at resumes, big gaps out of the field are red flags to us.
I worked hard to get where I am, I love my job, I love the money and what it affords us, and mostlly I would be bored to death staying at home.
And i AM raising my baby. For those that say that want to stay home so they can raise their baby.
I can assure you, she is being very well raised, by ME, and she is learning that you really can have it all if that is what you want, which is a valuable lesson.

But this is a personal choice. If it's something you really want to do, and can swing, then go for it!

Posted 5/21/15 9:04 AM
 
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