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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I always wanted to be a SAHM, then I had my DD and was literally running back to work. I was terrified of her as a newborn 
Now, that she's older, my desire to be a SAHM came back full force. But, it's just not possible right now.
I say if you can swing it financially, do it, do it, do it.
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Posted 5/21/15 9:13 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
If it was financially possible then I would, or at least work part time (just to have some sort of routine). Even though half my salary is going to go to daycare we need whatever is left over unfortunately. I always say this, but I hate that LI is so expensive. 
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| Posted 5/21/15 9:16 AM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I say go for it!
I was home for 6 years and loved it! I think the ideal is PT.
However, I have seen too many women even later in life not have financial security and go through divorce. This would be my only reason to stay in the work force.
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| Posted 5/21/15 10:03 AM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name:
Jacqueline
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by CindySN23
I am a FTWM and I worked really hard to get my engineering degrees to ever want to quit to be a SAHM. I know financially we could do it but I really enjoy my job and I need that mental stimulation. I give props to those that are SAHM's because I could never do it. I never ever considered being a SAHM but if that is something you really want to do then I would go for it you can always go back later or maybe consider PT or do some consulting if thats an option.
This is me.
I could never do it because I am not cut out for it at all, but in addition my field is such that if you are out of it for a few years, you are out of it.
It changes so much and when we look at resumes, big gaps out of the field are red flags to us.
I worked hard to get where I am, I love my job, I love the money and what it affords us, and mostlly I would be bored to death staying at home.
And i AM raising my baby. For those that say that want to stay home so they can raise their baby.
I can assure you, she is being very well raised, by ME, and she is learning that you really can have it all if that is what you want, which is a valuable lesson.
But this is a personal choice. If it's something you really want to do, and can swing, then go for it!
100% agree with this. Being a stay at home mom is NOT an easy job...I ADORE my son...live and breathe for him just like every other mom...BUT for some reason it's just not in my DNA. Probably because my mom always worked growing up and honestly, I don't ever remember being a kid and wishing she was around more...she still raised me, even if it wasn't full time around the clock. Her and I are closer and have a better relationship than anyone I know. She taught me to be independent and strong and she was still always nurturing, supportive and I always knew she loved me with everything she had. I can only hope my son grows up to feel the same way about me.
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| Posted 5/21/15 10:07 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I could never be a SAHM.
I worked my a$$ off to get where I am and I love to work, I love my job.
Obviously I am in the minority here - do what your guts tells you!
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| Posted 5/21/15 10:45 AM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
If DH is making enough that you would be comfortable and still be able to do things you like, go for it!!!!! if things will be too tight, it would be better to continue working now and maybe stay home in a few years when kids are in school.
You won't be bored, if you don't want to be. I'm never bored at home. always something to do
My mom worked a lot, my DH's mom stayed home. He had it much easier !
Message edited 5/21/2015 11:04:09 AM.
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| Posted 5/21/15 11:03 AM |
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2girls2love
LIF Infant
Member since 5/11 330 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
My husband suggested I stay at home after having my twin daughters in 2010. I gave it some thought. Literally wriote the pros and cons on a piece of paper. I returned to work.
My career will allow me to retire in 2019, with a pension and nice savings.
I witnessed my mom when i was 16 years old mom struggle to find work after my dad died. It wasn't easy. I learned alot from that experience.
Listen, things happen- death, divorce, loss of job. I think it's very important to maintain some sort "of self".
It's a very personal decision.
Good luck
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| Posted 5/21/15 4:49 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Posted by 2girls2love
My husband suggested I stay at home after having my twin daughters in 2010. I gave it some thought. Literally wriote the pros and cons on a piece of paper. I returned to work.
My career will allow me to retire in 2019, with a pension and nice savings.
I witnessed my mom when i was 16 years old mom struggle to find work after my dad died. It wasn't easy. I learned alot from that experience.
Listen, things happen- death, divorce, loss of job. I think it's very important to maintain some sort "of self".
It's a very personal decision.
Good luck
Just as an aside, I see so many people worry that if they are a SAHM what would they do if their DH died? I just want to put it out there that you should have provisions in place for that situation.
Should (god forbid) anything ever happen to my DH the kids and I would be 100% fine financially for a very long, long time. We made sure to get enough life insurance that in the event something ever happened I'd be able to pay off the house, pay off any debts, and have enough money to live off for and take care of the kids for quite some time.
This is isn't directed at you specifically but I always see this pointed out as a "con" when people talk about leaving their job to be a SAHM. However, with a little planning, even if something happened to your DH and you were a SAHM, you should be okay.
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| Posted 5/21/15 6:09 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by 2girls2love
My husband suggested I stay at home after having my twin daughters in 2010. I gave it some thought. Literally wriote the pros and cons on a piece of paper. I returned to work.
My career will allow me to retire in 2019, with a pension and nice savings.
I witnessed my mom when i was 16 years old mom struggle to find work after my dad died. It wasn't easy. I learned alot from that experience.
Listen, things happen- death, divorce, loss of job. I think it's very important to maintain some sort "of self".
It's a very personal decision.
Good luck
Just as an aside, I see so many people worry that if they are a SAHM what would they do if their DH died? I just want to put it out there that you should have provisions in place for that situation.
Should (god forbid) anything ever happen to my DH the kids and I would be 100% fine financially for a very long, long time. We made sure to get enough life insurance that in the event something ever happened I'd be able to pay off the house, pay off any debts, and have enough money to live off for and take care of the kids for quite some time.
This is isn't directed at you specifically but I always see this pointed out as a "con" when people talk about leaving their job to be a SAHM. However, with a little planning, even if something happened to your DH and you were a SAHM, you should be okay.
But not everyone has money for life insurance. Also what about divorce (vs death)?
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| Posted 5/21/15 6:23 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I was a SAHM for a year. I enjoyed every moment, but did find it challenging at times. In the end, I opted to go back to work. Mostly because I am in a field where I need to work and obtain CEUs to keep my license. I knew the longer I stayed home the less likely I was to keep up. I didn't care initially, but the logical part of me told me it was a bad idea. If I had nothing to lose or wanted to stay home indefinitely, I would have likely made a different decision.
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| Posted 5/21/15 8:48 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I am unemployed 30days now and i HATE IT! I loathe it.. I want to work so badly. I hate this home crap.
School activities .. Yep I make more. I drop her off, pick her up, drive her to stuff. I cook, clean and prepare the house for stuff. I f'ing hate it. I am battling my breaking point daily. This is torture.
She's not really happy either. She's happy I'm home and can make her stuff. But she hates that I'm always home, always on top of everything and keeping her in line. She hates that we are limited in what we can do (she wants to go out and i've cut all extras). She hates that I value everything now by money that she noticed it (its not just can I have this or that or why are we having that again for dinner).
I am dying inside a slow death and its seriously beginning to depress me. I need a freaking job. 18yrs of effort, three designations, two licenses.. to sit at home? Ugh!
I miss engaging, intelligent conversations with professionals in my field!
Money is NOT an issue. I have balanced the books that I have not been in an office since April 20th but can get us through July 15th without much issue. I don't care. I must work. When my daughter says "My mom used to have a job, now she just doesn't." it hurts.
Sorry.. touchy for me
Bottom line is if you can afford it and want it, do it. I am not built for it. never thought I was before. can't say its working out for me now either. God help me summer is less than two weeks away and yes she's going to live with my aunt. What if I have an interview, need to go to a job fair.. sell my plasma (seriously found this o a stay at mom home site).. who KNOWS?!
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| Posted 5/21/15 9:27 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Posted by stinger
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by 2girls2love
My husband suggested I stay at home after having my twin daughters in 2010. I gave it some thought. Literally wriote the pros and cons on a piece of paper. I returned to work.
My career will allow me to retire in 2019, with a pension and nice savings.
I witnessed my mom when i was 16 years old mom struggle to find work after my dad died. It wasn't easy. I learned alot from that experience.
Listen, things happen- death, divorce, loss of job. I think it's very important to maintain some sort "of self".
It's a very personal decision.
Good luck
Just as an aside, I see so many people worry that if they are a SAHM what would they do if their DH died? I just want to put it out there that you should have provisions in place for that situation.
Should (god forbid) anything ever happen to my DH the kids and I would be 100% fine financially for a very long, long time. We made sure to get enough life insurance that in the event something ever happened I'd be able to pay off the house, pay off any debts, and have enough money to live off for and take care of the kids for quite some time.
This is isn't directed at you specifically but I always see this pointed out as a "con" when people talk about leaving their job to be a SAHM. However, with a little planning, even if something happened to your DH and you were a SAHM, you should be okay.
But not everyone has money for life insurance. Also what about divorce (vs death)?
Term life insurance is so cheap but the peace of mind it gives you is priceless.
As for divorce, it's not something I really give a passing thought to. I don't make decisions in my life based on something that will likely never happen. I love being a SAHM so I'll take my chances. 
Life is full of "what ifs", you just have to make the best decisions you can as you go along.
Message edited 5/21/2015 10:25:28 PM.
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| Posted 5/21/15 10:23 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
My opinion is that as long as you can afford to do it & it's what you truly want to do, go for it!!
When I'm working full time I would always complain it was too much & I never saw my baby. Now I'm on maternity leave with #2, and I turned to my husband last night & said "I'm so ready to go back to work"  Well I'm NOT really, but mentally, I feel that way kind of because I find the sahm life so demanding & I don't think I'm cut out for it. So maybe can you give it a test run & make sure it's really for you before pulling the plug & quitting your job? It's just a suggestion because I didn't realize how depressed I'd become not having my usual work routine. For me I think the ideal would be to work 3 or 4 days a week & be home with the kids 1 or 2 days a week. That's for me personally but obviously everybody's different.
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| Posted 5/21/15 10:37 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
If it's something you want then you have to do it. Personally, I love my LO but have no desire to stay home. It's not for me, I'm just not cut out for it. I really love my career and professional life. It is very fulfilling to me. Plus, although we can afford to live off one salary I feel like the opportunity cost is very high if I quit. I like that we can give our LO all of life's extras and our unconditional love too. I want to be able to save for us and him, travel multiple times a year, show him the world, sign him up for every and all activities that may interest him. And like a PP said, I raise him. I will always be mom and #1 whether working or not.
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| Posted 5/21/15 11:15 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I think its a very personal decision and one you have to make based on what you feel is best for you and your children. I am a ptwm and i love it. I get the best of both worlds. I get to spend most of my days with my dd but get that break and go to the office to be an adult lol
There are times its very hard because i feel split in 2. Days i want to work more cause im busy and others i want to quit and juat be sahm. There are days i miss my friends from work and feel disconnected from them (i work a lot from home)...
Then there are days where i do feel lonely. My dd is about to be 3 and in nursery school. Thats been the best thing cause i can get a lot done when shes in school. Its def not boring when shes in school lol
You can decide to be sahm and go back to work in 2 years or 1 year, its your decision. No one is telling you be a sahm until their in college. Yes a 15 year gap for anyones resume is large and will be problematic.
My friend is a lawyer she decided to be a sahm for 2 years. She just went back pt for now and when her youngest gets a lil older shes going back ft. Shes soooo happy she spent those first 2 years home with her girls and now loves she gets to worl but be with them too
Can you take a leave of absence? This way you can sorta try it out? Or leave on good terms with your current job and leave the door open for them to possibly rehire you 1 day.
personally i love that i got to and get to experience everything with my dd. I love that im there to drop her off and pick her up from school. Im there when shes sick, has bad dreams, a bad night and im not worries omg im gonna be on no sleep for work tomorrow. I love that i cook 5 nights a week at least (saves us $). I love that i share the day with my dd, theres always something to do especially with summer here. There are tons to do and tons of free activities so you dont have to spend $.
I just love that im.there when she learns a new word, has a fall, a scare, i teach her things, she learns anything new im there... i love spending time with her and just being with her. Shes my lil bff thats what i always say...
But i also love what i do. I love more than anything that i still have an income. Its allows us some financial freedoms. Makes my dh feel less stressed.
Its like anything else in life there are good and bad days... its what works better for you and your fam...
Message edited 5/22/2015 7:29:23 AM.
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| Posted 5/22/15 7:19 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I was laid off before DS was born. Chose to stay home with him for the first 2 years.
By 9 months, I HATED it! Being home all day with him, not having any adult interaction, feeling like a failure- ti was not for me!
Started working part-time when he was too, and went back to school. I felt more accomplished but it was hard. I've been working full-time for almost 3 years now. and I hate it! lol
dropping him off at daycare than school, worrying about making it on time for pick-up, getting phone calls form the nurse's office, getting questioned when I take days off, trying to stay home with a sick kid and getting phone calls from work, not having enough time with my baby once we get home - all make me want to go back to being a SAHM again.
If you can find the right balance between staying at home and staying an "adult", i say do it! I enjoyed seeing all the milestones, hearing those first words, getting to be the one to raise him. they're only a baby for such a short time.
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| Posted 5/22/15 8:43 AM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I left my job to be a SAHM when I was PG with my first. I stayed home for 11 years and went back to work when my youngest started kindergarten. I am a teacher, so my schedule is the same as theirs.
Never regretted it for a second. They're only little once and you can never get that time back.
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| Posted 5/22/15 9:10 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
My advice - if you truly WANT to do it, and don't just feel that you 'should' want to do it, then go for it.
BUT - as an attorney you are in a great position to consult, freelance, work PT, take your skillset and qualifications to 100 differnt job opportunities. - Keep your head in it, keep in touch with your contacts, make new ones ..........even if you only work a few hours a week - Keep it going.
At least for ME, I wish I was in a profession with that kind of option, I go back and forth with this constantly - but like Nell, I'm in a spot where once you're out, you're out -So I alwasy end up deciding to stay .....
Try the SAHM thing, but 150% keep your foot in the legal door. 
Good Luck!
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| Posted 5/22/15 10:06 AM |
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jmp1105
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 553 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Posted by MarisaK
My advice - if you truly WANT to do it, and don't just feel that you 'should' want to do it, then go for it.
BUT - as an attorney you are in a great position to consult, freelance, work PT, take your skillset and qualifications to 100 differnt job opportunities. - Keep your head in it, keep in touch with your contacts, make new ones ..........even if you only work a few hours a week - Keep it going.
At least for ME, I wish I was in a profession with that kind of option, I go back and forth with this constantly - but like Nell, I'm in a spot where once you're out, you're out -So I alwasy end up deciding to stay .....
Try the SAHM thing, but 150% keep your foot in the legal door.
Good Luck!
I think bc I know I can still do some per diem work to keep my foot in the door and I've developed some great contacts that I feel comfortable leaving my full time job knowing I can always get back into it.
I worked hard to become a lawyer, but I chose this career knowing that I would be a mom and that I could have flexibility with this career.
since I've always wanted to be a SAHM I feel like now is the right time bc we can afford it and I dont' want to miss these precious moments with my babies.
thank you everyone for sharing your personal experiences!
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| Posted 5/22/15 11:06 AM |
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Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
All of my SAHM friends love it. It really is awesome. You just have to treat it like a new job. You need to get out of the house a lot and do fun things everyday. You build a new routine. You will always have your law degree and could go back in some way.
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| Posted 5/22/15 3:46 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I was thinking about this topic earlier, and there was just one thing to consider. Take your monthly salary and subtract it from the budget. Can you cut back on your spending and still live like you do and continue to contribute to your savings in the future? It's really hard to project how you will live differently, but plan for it. I just wanted to add this to the list of things to help you make your decision. Good luck!
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| Posted 5/22/15 11:11 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Its amazing how many different viewpoints and varying opinions you will get with respect to this topic. I was considering the same issues three years ago after I had my first DD. I am an attorney as well and I just hated the hours away from DD, and the commute and the feeling of not being fulfilled on top of it . I think had I been happy at my job I wouldn't have struggled with wanting to be a SAHM mom as much as I did. I ended up working PT for a small firm where I enjoy the work , am relatively stress free, have great coworkers and IMO I have the best of both worlds. Could I Be making more money working full time at a larger firm-- definitly, but this way I get the spend the majority of the week with my babies. Sometimes I wish I could be a SAHM rather than PTWM but I think this gives me the best of both worlds. =) The PT solution helped me come to terms with both the financial aspect of leaving the work force full time and also make me feel comfortable that should I decide to go back to work full time I wouldn't be "stale". Maybe you can be a SAHM and find a way to still stay active in the legal community-- do per diem work, or become of counsel, or even volunteer . Good luck with your decision!
Message edited 5/26/2015 5:40:42 PM.
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| Posted 5/26/15 5:38 PM |
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TyReseGreen
Lil Prince is here
Member since 8/11 6338 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I'm so seriously considering being a SAHM after I deliver. My DD is almost 2 and the amount I will pay for 2 in daycare is insane to where I work to pay daycare( at least it feels that way). My dad also watches DD 2 days during the week at no cost but he's getting up there and not as quick so it's better for us if I was to stay home.
I wouldn't do it until high school but maybe a couple of years.
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| Posted 5/26/15 6:14 PM |
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
Message edited 5/26/2015 6:49:22 PM.
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| Posted 5/26/15 6:45 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: considering leaving my job to be a SAHM, opinions?
I recently resigned from my job and have never been happier.
I have been a full time working mom (working 60-70 hrs originally and moving to a 40 hr job), PTWM (10-15 hrs to 30 hrs) and a SAHM.
My most recent position originally started off as 15-20 hrs and was perfect. The company has grown significantly and the work demands became full time. I was promoted and had a lot of growth potential.
DH recently got a new job that pays more than double his old position but longer hours. I used to do morning and he would do afternoons. That was no longer the case. I have 2 grad degrees and used to make $$$. DH's recent pay increase is a lot more than how much I earn.
It really bothered me to put my kids in daycare during spring break. I burned many vacation days for snow days. We were looking for a nanny to pick up the kids from camp and take them to the pool. I decided I wanted to take my kids to the pool. I really felt like I was outsourcing out my life and I did not like that.
Message edited 5/27/2015 9:13:29 AM.
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| Posted 5/27/15 9:11 AM |
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