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babyfever08
Love my babies!
Member since 11/08 3938 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by QTDimps23
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by pickles16
..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
oh...and what she said....
What THEY said!!!!!
amen!!!
I am so glad I am not the only one!
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Posted 3/22/10 3:09 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
I'll be completely honest and say that my son just turned 5 months and we haven't yet.
I was just talking to dh about it yesterday. a lot of reasons...me not be ready WELL past the 6 weeks the dr. recommended we wait...then it being tax reason with a baby who still wakes up at least 3 times during the night...we are too tired to even notice.
a big issue for ME is that I do not have enough time for personal grooming, and I cannot have the first time we do the deed in 6 plus months (   when you write it out) be with me looking like the Playboy playmate from 1975.
or really 1975 B.C.
I can't.
I am making every effort to remedy this situation b/c I am REALLY ready now and cannot wait to jump my dh.
now to figure out, after I shave, what to do with my co-sleeping baby!?!?!?!?!
it's so funny..glad you posted this b/c it's been on my mind a lot.
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:14 PM |
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Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!
Member since 12/08 11013 total posts
Name:
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by MrsP747
Posted by Shelleybean11
The problem for us is not lack of desire, we want to DTD and we start, but sex is very painful for me now. I'm hoping it will stop hurting once I stop BFing which I don't plan to do for at least another 6 months. They say that BFing dries you out a bit, that is not the problem for us, it feels like something is VERY swollen inside. Aside from the pain, we are both very tired at night so it's best for us to try and DTD in the beginning of the day. We both initiate  We are definitely not having enough!
Same Boat! I was just at the OBgyn the other day and she said I'm dryed and shriveled like an old lady from the BFing and that I'll go back2 normal when i stop. In the meantime she gave me estrogen cream (like they give post menopausal woman) to help!
Oh this is good to know! I had my annual several weeks ago and my OB didn't offer this option. I'm going to call and ask. Anything to help!!
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:18 PM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
i am interested to know what your sex life is like.
do you schedule it?
who initiates?
does it require effort or does it come easy ? do you want eachother?
how often?
sorry if this is too personal. please answer however you feel comfortable! be vague or give lots of details!!!!
We don't schedule it but when we have a free moment or when DD is sleeping we try to if one of us isn't too tired or sick. I know poor DH would like more but it's so hard...
He initiates 70% of the time and sometimes i will just do it to appease him and then there are days were i just have to iniate it. Alot of the time it requires some effort, i wish it didn't. I do want him and he says he wants me even though i still have baby weight and feel like he isn't as attracted to me anymore but he still seems to want me as far as i can tell.
We try for 2-3 times a week, it's rare if we can get more in!
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:21 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by Ophelia
I'll be completely honest and say that my son just turned 5 months and we haven't yet.
I was just talking to dh about it yesterday. a lot of reasons...me not be ready WELL past the 6 weeks the dr. recommended we wait...then it being tax reason with a baby who still wakes up at least 3 times during the night...we are too tired to even notice.
a big issue for ME is that I do not have enough time for personal grooming, and I cannot have the first time we do the deed in 6 plus months ( when you write it out) be with me looking like the Playboy playmate from 1975.
or really 1975 B.C.
I can't.
I am making every effort to remedy this situation b/c I am REALLY ready now and cannot wait to jump my dh.
now to figure out, after I shave, what to do with my co-sleeping baby!?!?!?!?!
it's so funny..glad you posted this b/c it's been on my mind a lot.
you are too freakin funny!! playmate circa 1975??!? love it!
i agree about the grooming thing getting in the way! i wax and i often let more than 6 weeks go by before my next appt and then i feel so gross that i dont want to initiate!
our ideal time to dtd was in the morning where we are both refreshed from sleep and both unshowered .. but now the baby is in our bed first thing in the morning ( like between 6-7am) so thats impossible.
and dd doesnt get into her crib till 9:30/10pm so again, we are exhausted.
i am def going to schedule it at least once a week!
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:23 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Obviously this doesn't mean now, since I'm only a week PP, but fi I saw DH during the day more we'd have a better sex life. Once DS is in bed I just want to relax. I find myself more "in the mood" in the middle of the day.
No, we don't schedule it, but we do bring it up to each other if it's been a while and then make sure to DTD soon.
I would say that I usually initiate it, DH is pretty shy.
I am not sure what you mean by "effort" but it does help if we had a strong connection earlier in the day - a really good passionate kiss out of nowhere, a very interesting conversation.
I still want my DH, but I will admit that I find myself wanting him more at times where it's completely impractical to DTD, like when he's just come out of the shower and we have someplace to go, or he's dressed up in a suit and we have someplace to go, or... well pretty much when we have no time and have someplace to go.
ETA: After DS was born we didn't DTD until he was 10 weeks old. We only did it a couple more times over the next few months, but then we went away for a weekend and that really sparked our sex life... and then I got pregnant again
Message edited 3/22/2010 3:26:56 PM.
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:24 PM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name:
Blessed
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by Wendy
There's sex after kids? 
My sentiments exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:38 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by babyfever08
Posted by QTDimps23
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by pickles16
..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
oh...and what she said....
What THEY said!!!!!
amen!!!
I am so glad I am not the only one!
Can't believe I am saying this now! I used to be the horny one!
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:41 PM |
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Bella311
Me and my Boys
Member since 1/10 1400 total posts
Name:
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
At 6 wks PP I bought a big thing of KY and DTD that day, however it was not that fun for me, but I felt I needed to get over it. After that it became a lot easier and a lot better. We don't schedule, but DH travels a lot for biz so I get a break in between KWIM
As for the co-sleeping there have been plenty of times one of us would lean over and put a binky in DS mid DTD
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:51 PM |
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autumn
Mommy to 2 divas
Member since 9/07 3389 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by QTDimps23
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by pickles16
..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
oh...and what she said....
What THEY said!!!!!
amen!!!
I second that amen
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| Posted 3/22/10 3:53 PM |
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
I can't be the only one who does it 2-3 times a week....
It's short and sweet but that works for me.
Probably once a month we make a bigger deal out of it.
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| Posted 3/22/10 4:50 PM |
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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
we do it a lot going 2 days is a long time for us
we both initiate in our own ways
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| Posted 3/22/10 4:54 PM |
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DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!
Member since 11/08 2088 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
It has been pretty much non-existent...I am always too tired,and DS co-sleeps, so we have to be inventive about the "where" lol. DH usually initiates, and I usually take one for the team lol. Although there have been times where I was in the mood.
But as little as we DTD, I still managed to get pregnant..without trying...another surprise. It's so true when they say it only takes once. And it was the one time that I initiated it LOL.
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| Posted 3/22/10 5:01 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Definitely not as frequent as it was prior to kids, but it's quality not quantity in my book, and suprisingly the quality has WAY exceeded my expectations ever since we had kids I think part of it might have to do with the added creativity in working it around our hectic schedules 
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| Posted 3/22/10 5:02 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by babyfever08
Posted by QTDimps23
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by pickles16
..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
oh...and what she said....
What THEY said!!!!!
amen!!!
I am so glad I am not the only one!
haha well then! I guess that puts me in good company
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| Posted 3/22/10 5:27 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Basically, what we lost in quantity we've definitely made up in quality.
Now, there needs to be some planning but in a way the planning adds to the fun of it.
The actual sex has really never been better, believe it or not. Since we don't get the chance to do it as often due to scheduling and kids and plain old exhaustion, we make sure to make it worth the wait. I'd say on average it's about 1x a week.
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| Posted 3/22/10 5:56 PM |
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astroqueen74
Vibrant Health
Member since 1/07 2822 total posts
Name:
Karina
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by pickles16
Posted by MrsFlatbread
I could care less really...although I do it...more for him mostly...
I too never thought i would say it...but heck...i would rather sleep the extra 2 minutes it would take to DTD!!!!
umm what she said...DH could DTD 3-4 times a day in a perfect world..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
I'm with you two..lol
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| Posted 3/22/10 6:06 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
too tired lot. i have to be in the mood. poor dh
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| Posted 3/22/10 6:49 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
i am interested to know what your sex life is like.
do you schedule it?
who initiates?
does it require effort or does it come easy ? do you want eachother?
how often?
sorry if this is too personal. please answer however you feel comfortable! be vague or give lots of details!!!!
We don't schedule it, I don't want it to feel like a chore. He usually will always initiate, I'm awful at that. Now that I'm pregnant I won't lie it requires effort because I'm just in so much pain, but before that it came easy! I always want my hubby  ... Now that I'm pregnant probably once a week, but after DS and before getting pregnant 2-3 times a week!
I can't wait to get back to "normal" for us, I miss my hubby  , I'm just in soo much pain in my pelvic area from DD being sooo low!
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| Posted 3/22/10 7:12 PM |
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mamasita27
OHANA
Member since 8/07 5974 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by pickles16
Posted by MrsFlatbread
I could care less really...although I do it...more for him mostly...
I too never thought i would say it...but heck...i would rather sleep the extra 2 minutes it would take to DTD!!!!
umm what she said...DH could DTD 3-4 times a day in a perfect world..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
same here...i feel bad about it though
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| Posted 3/22/10 7:17 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
We average about 1 or 2 times a week. I am NEVER in the mood, and I never initiate. My sex drive is non-existent lately
However, once we get started, I end up not regretting it
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| Posted 3/22/10 7:18 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Honestly, I am always tired and I have to initiate. So, you do the math.
I wish that wasn't the case and have spoken to DH about it, sometimes you need to be pursued also to get in the mood.
I also usually go to sleep before him so, that also makes things difficult.
We definitely need to work on it.
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| Posted 3/22/10 7:29 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
Posted by CkGm
Posted by babyfever08
Posted by QTDimps23
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by pickles16
..me 3-4 times a year sounds better
oh...and what she said....
What THEY said!!!!!
amen!!!
I am so glad I am not the only one!
Can't believe I am saying this now! I used to be the horny one!
Ummm yeah me too. It is SOOO sad. We do try but, honestly it is much less than once a week. As for the co-sleeping, we have a baby in our room and I just can't do it there.. so the living room floor usually does quite well. I do miss our bed though. Honestly, if DS wasn't in our room and we had a second bedroom it would be much more often
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| Posted 3/22/10 8:10 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
I acutally was the one that intiated it at 5 weeks pp bc I truly missed it! Even though our sex life has not returned to the normal amounts, we do still have a great sex life. At nights, between me being exhausted from caring for DS during the day & DH working long hours since I am no longer working, we have to push ourselves but we manage & like others have said, so glad we did when we are all finished Plus, we did conceive #2 without even trying when DS was only 3 months old! 
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| Posted 3/22/10 8:13 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: can we please have discussion about sex after kids?
once a week, I"m 29 weeks pregnant now so who knows what will happen in a few weeks. we mention it to eachother early in the day , that way we make time at night
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| Posted 3/22/10 8:20 PM |
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