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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
If I had the choice after having DD I would have stayed home and I was NEVER the type before I had her.. no one ever would picture me a SAHM but I loved being with her day in and day out.
After I had DS I couldn't wait to run back to work. Having a toddler and a newborn was too much for me. If it was just the baby, again, I would have been perfectly fine being a SAHM but the dynamic between the two of them had me stressed out and frazzled.
In a perfect world, I'd work 3 days a week.
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Posted 6/18/11 12:23 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
If I financially could - I would only work PT. I really do not think I could be a SAHM - I would go bonkers. Part time would be ideal.
Being a FULL TIME, 40+ hour a week working mother is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I literally feel like I have to schedule conversations (like, ok, I can call my mom from 8:30-9:00pm). There are so many things I wish I could have time to do with my DS.
I have changed jobs to allow me more time to be home after work with my DS - I work 15 min from home and leave at 430 / 5 usually.
Anyway, let me stop my rant here..your prioroties definitely do change. And some women can manage it all. But for me it's a daily struggle!
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| Posted 6/18/11 1:25 PM |
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
To the OP- is the question more geared to how you change once the baby is born? If it is I can say 100% I changed, but not in that all mushy NOBODY can have my baby sorta way. Does that make sense? I went back to work PT and then FT and resigned in Feb due to a host of things which included a shittty work enviroment. I can say my decision to be a SAHM was not JUST about my DD or us trying for another but my work situation as well. It just wasn't worth it for me to keep missing my daughters milestones for a job I was miserable at and cried going to everyday. If I had a job I loved and felt valused at I don't know if I would be home. Was it horrible to leave my DD, yes it was and I cried a lot, but the joy of my PT job was enough to keep me going and I loved what I did. I HAD to go FT into the shittty job due to medical reasons so to answer your question I think once the baby comes you sorta re-evaluate where you are at work and how happy you are, and what you want your life to be now that you're a mom.
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| Posted 6/18/11 1:35 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
My Mom was a FTWM, and I NEVER thought I would be a SAHM, ever. When I had DS, I worked FT and hated it. I had to work for financial reasons. Then, DH got a new job, promotion, and we moved OOS. Now I had the option to stay at home and try it.
Now, I am a SAHM, love it, do not miss working one bit. I am shocked at how much I love being at home. Even with a toddler and a newborn, being 7 hours away from family, still do not miss working. Now, they are 1 and 3, and I like it even more. I will work PT when they are in school. Motherhood did change my view of working.
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| Posted 6/18/11 3:36 PM |
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wcs3504
my boys
Member since 2/06 2506 total posts
Name:
Wanda (formerly cw0904 on LIW)
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
If I had the chance I would become a wahm. I would work my own hours and do something I enjoy doing, instead of working somewhere because I have to. I don't mind working. It definitely fulfills me. I just wish I had more options and not forced into a typical job just because of money.
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| Posted 6/18/11 5:31 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I have been both a SAHM and a WAHM. I love WAH and I love my job. My nanny is awesome and I get to see my kids all day long. If I need to take them to the Dr I can and sometimes I can take off early and take them to the park. Love it!
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| Posted 6/18/11 7:07 PM |
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lbw
I am ONE !!!!!
Member since 5/07 1560 total posts
Name:
Lisette
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I used to say that I would want to go back to work...now, if I didnt have to I definitely would not.
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| Posted 6/18/11 7:32 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I honestly don't know.
I always thought that I needed to work...but that was always when I had to work for financial reasons. Now, we could survive nicely on my husband's income, and I often wonder if I really need to work, or if I could stay home with Lily all the time.
I'm a teacher, so I have the summer off with her, and it's amazing....but it's also a ton of work....
Neither option is perfect OR easy!
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| Posted 6/18/11 7:40 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I am a part time working mom, home with DS 2 days during the week. I was working full time in the publishing industry and I had a great job with great benefits and great coworkers. I truly did enjoy working in the book publishing field. The downside was that I was commuting 4 hours a day from PA to NY.
I liked being home with DS during maternity leave. But i had a hard time with my identity. I've been working since im 14 be it babysitting, camp, officejobs, etc. Now all of a sudden, I wasnt Diana, I was Jacks mom. And i felt like I had lost a little part of myself.
My DH would love if I was home all the time. however, we cant really afford to right now. But I think this is a good balance for me. I gave up my job for a ****** pay part time job, but Im 5 min from my house, 8min from daycare. Not 2 hours away anymore. I get to be with adults 3 days a week and my job is in no way challenging to me, but at this point, I dont really need a challenging job. Being a mom is a challenge enough for me.
Everyone is different. You may find that once the baby comes you dont want to go to work; for others, its not for them.
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| Posted 6/18/11 7:54 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
We could survive on either salary (mine or DH's), but there will always be a part of me afraid of the what ifs to keep me working. And it's not divorce, though the stories on the relationship board of women getting divorced who don't work and cannot support themselves and their DC are scary, but the DHs who got laid off, injured, or worse...I want to always be able to support myself and DC if anything happens, and not feel that the pressure is solely on DH.
That said, I have a very short commute (10 mins), am home by 3:30, and enjoy my job. I have great vacation and sick time, and I feel like it makes me a better mother being away from DS a bit (though ideally I think I'd do 2-3 days a week). When I am with him constantly, I find myself on the computer while he's awake, etc. Now when I get home, I am 100% with DS.
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| Posted 6/18/11 8:04 PM |
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Jazzyt
My Girl!!!
Member since 8/07 2977 total posts
Name:
Giselle
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
ME!!!!!!
I love having some adult interaction. some alone time and a break.
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| Posted 6/18/11 9:04 PM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Posted by Xelindrya
Yes I would
I love my job. Sure it ticks me off and its tedious but it fullfills me.
1 it allows me to feel useful
2 it gives me a sense of contributing and
3 it makes me feel accomplished and serves as fullfillment to all the years I've put in plus designations
4 I feel it sets a great example for my child.
5 It allows me the freedom to do more with her financiallly.
6 Gives me adult interaction
We always joke that if I won a million dollars I'd still work in some way. Even if it was charitable work, I'd get out and DO something.
Yes I give a 1000% credit to SAHM. But its just not for me. I would hate myself and my life. So although my view on life and priorities have changed my need to work has not. I need to work but my reason for working has changed its dynamic if that makes sense. It has grown from just self fullfillment to a family need.
Ohhhh.. Exactly what SHE said!!!!
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| Posted 6/19/11 8:36 AM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Definitely having a child changed me, but it never changed how much I need to work to fulfill the rest of me. I don't get as stressed about work things as I used to, because work is no longer my only thing. I personally need that kind of routine in my life, too.
I love my job...it's actually fun. And I get summers off, so I honestly can't complain. Though part time would definitely be ideal. I wish there would be some bill to pass 4 day work weeks.
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| Posted 6/19/11 8:55 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Posted by maybesoon
most moms working work FT because they have to or they would be working PT / not at all/ volunteer .
not at all. in fact I have the ability to go back 80% after my maternity and I'm pretty sure that I am going to turn it down. I was a SAHM for 18 months too.
We can survive on either of our salary, but I like working. it's what I drove myself to do my young adult life. It's what I pictured myself doing as a little girl. I never had the dreams of being a mom when I was young. I had the dreams of being a successful working woman. I'm sure this was shaped by growing up in the 70's with an active mother in the feminist movement.
it probably does help that DH is WAH and he is there to put DS on bus and pick him up, be a chaperon and go to his school events(although i only work 10-15 from his school so I can get there to see his shows)
I also like to go on vacation, we want a bigger house on the water, nice cars, a sizable retirement plan. It makes me feel good and confident and comfortable.
on a sidenote - we can survive on my salary, but I don't think that DH would ever work PT or be a SAHD either and that's not strange to most people. Although DH says he will quit his job/consult immediately after winning the lottery to golf. I will wait until I get my 20 years into my pension - it's just who I am, I guess.
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| Posted 6/19/11 9:50 AM |
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MrsYank
She's here :)
Member since 4/07 3238 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Yank
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
My perfect scenario would be for me to work part time, with most of my time home with dd. Going back to work was way harder than I thought it would be. I cried, a lot. But it does make me appreciate my time with her.
I'm a teacher , so I'm very fortunate to have the summer home with her and I'm really looking forward to it.
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:01 AM |
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robynfs
12/6/10!!
Member since 9/05 4947 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Posted by brownie
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
So my question to you is this: are there any working moms on this board who would continue working even if they didn't have to financially?
I did for 7 months and then I quit! most moms working work FT because they have to or they would be working PT / not at all/ volunteer .
I don't know if thats true. I will say though that I don't need to work, but prefer to...as do many other female friends/colleagues I have. [/QUOTE
Same for me. I truly work because I want to and it gives me a sense a balance that I need in order to feel complete.
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:05 AM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
My ideal situation would be to be a SAHM until I was done having kids and the last one went to school, then I would go back to work because I would be bored. But financially, I HAVE to work. I guess I just don't like my job THAT much.
It's funny how different people's opinions are - to me, I wonder how people WANT to go to work. DD is 18 months and I still struggle leaving some days - it really breaks my heart, but we have no choice.
I'm not going to lie, going back after just 8 weeks was traumatizing to me.
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| Posted 6/19/11 10:57 AM |
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MrsRitaB
Love of my life! <3
Member since 4/10 4669 total posts
Name:
Ri
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I hate my job and hate working so if i could financially stay home i would!!!
but if you love to work and love your job you should work
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| Posted 6/19/11 12:18 PM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I will say that once my DD was born I would have loved to stay home. Since it wasn't in the cards for us (financially) I had to go back to work. Now that I KNOW how much she thrives at daycare and how awesome our time together actually is, I don't think I could transition into being a SAHM. It would not be the best situation for either of us. She LOVES going to daycare and seeing her "friends" and I actually likes going to work. For us it works.
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| Posted 6/19/11 12:23 PM |
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Me!!!! I actually have the option of being a sahm. Dh's salary would more than support us to where I wouldn't need to work. I decided against it. It's really not for me at all. I give sahm moms credit because I don't know how they do it.
And not only that but because I love my career. I have a very fulfilling and rewarding job and could never imagine leaving. I also did not want to feel like I wasted my time and money in school. It would be a constant reminder every time I pay my school loans. I worked hard for my degree and I almost feel like all that hard work would just have been wasted in a way.
Don't get me wrong I love my dd more than words can express but I need that sense of accomplishment and independence that working provides.
I'm definitely going back to work and that's by choice not because I need to financially.
Message edited 6/19/2011 1:39:27 PM.
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| Posted 6/19/11 1:25 PM |
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
So my question to you is this: are there any working moms on this board who would continue working even if they didn't have to financially?
I did for 7 months and then I quit! most moms working work FT because they have to or they would be working PT / not at all/ volunteer .
Not true at all! I don't have to work for financial reasons. I chose to go back because I wanted to! And I'm working full time! Read my post above!
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| Posted 6/19/11 1:42 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
I've lived in both worlds. I was a SAHM for 2.5 years, liked it overall, though I was ready to work again when DS turned 2. I am glad I spent that time home with him though, and wouldn't change a thing
I have been a FTWM for 1 year now, and mostly, it's better. My ideal situation would be a PT job with benefits, but they are pretty nonexistent in my field, so FT it is. I went back for a few reasons, the big one was that I wanted to be back at work. I missed having a career, and doing projects that do not relate to DS or our home. DH and I also have health issues (hence this is why insurance is so important). I do think I am a better mother in the hours I am with DS. I have much more patience with him.
Not to say working has given me more time on my own, it really has not. I went out with friends and exercised a lot more before going back to work. Now, both areas of my life are really neglected, but between my schedule and DHs, there isn't much of a way around it. Lunch I either work through so I can leave at a decent time or I run errands. So in some ways, I feel like I had more down time as a SAHM. Neither situation in perfect in my opinion, but working is better for me and my family. I do think DH is also less stressed since he is no longer the breadwinner.
As for my attitude towards work, it has SOOO changed. Not that I don't take work seriously, but family comes first now.
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| Posted 6/19/11 9:14 PM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Hell NO! I pray to win the lotto so I don't have to work. Leaving them everyday kills me and I live for the weekends and summer vacation.
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| Posted 6/19/11 9:23 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Posted by maybesoon
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
So my question to you is this: are there any working moms on this board who would continue working even if they didn't have to financially?
I did for 7 months and then I quit! most moms working work FT because they have to or they would be working PT / not at all/ volunteer .
Not true at all. Even if I didn't have to work, I would. I have a career that I worked hard for- and that didn't end just because I gave birth.
Nobody expects a man to end his career when he becomes a dad- why does everyone feel a woman should want to?
Very 1950s if you ask me....
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| Posted 6/20/11 9:58 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Re: Crashing this board...a question for working moms
Posted by TreAnt427
I do have to work financially, but if I didn't I would still work part time.
You need time to be yourself, and like the PP said, a reason to get dressed and feel like your own person and not just someones mother.
[/QUOTE
ITA
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| Posted 6/20/11 11:01 AM |
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