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FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by dpli
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
I do get what you are saying, however I think what I and others are not understanding is, in jobs like you describe, when IS it OK to take a day off? Not for a kid's birthday. OK. But then what?
For a sick parent?
For a spa day?
For a trip to Atlantic City?
Never?
Are there jobs where it is not EVER ok to take off?
I think that is the issue here- trying to define why it is ok to take off for certain things and not others.
Message edited 4/9/2014 11:43:32 AM.
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Posted 4/9/14 11:43 AM  |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
Thank you!!! This is the standpoint I was coming from. I don't think it's a hard concept to understand either.
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| Posted 4/9/14 11:46 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by dpli
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
I do get what you are saying, however I think what I and others are not understanding is, in jobs like you describe, when IS it OK to take a day off? Not for a kid's birthday. OK. But then what?
For a sick parent?
For a spa day?
For a trip to Atlantic City?
Never?
Are there jobs where it is not EVER ok to take off?
I think that is the issue here- trying to define why it is ok to take off for certain things and not others.
That is what I was asking as well . What constitutes a "professional PTO day" and WHY do you consider it unprofessional to use your personal days as you see fit, even if it is for childs birthday.
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| Posted 4/9/14 11:48 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
I wrote that I think it depends on the position and company. Some people seem to be offended that in certain work environments, taking time off for a bday may be frowned upon. That doesn't mean that your company would view it as unprofessional.
My friend works at Barney's and they get off on their birthday. I normally take a vacation on my birthday. No one has ever given me grief. They wish me a happy birthday and wish me a good time.
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| Posted 4/9/14 11:53 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
I wrote that I think it depends on the position and company. Some people seem to be offended that in certain work environments, taking time off for a bday may be frowned upon. That doesn't mean that your company would view it as unprofessional.
My friend works at Barney's and they get off on their birthday. I normally take a vacation on my birthday. No one has ever given me grief. They wish me a happy birthday and wish me a good time.
I think people are offended that someone in a hiring position thinks they have a right to know what i do on my days off. And would base their hiring on the fact that I may or may not take a day off for a childs birthday.
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| Posted 4/9/14 11:57 AM |
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
I wrote that I think it depends on the position and company. Some people seem to be offended that in certain work environments, taking time off for a bday may be frowned upon. That doesn't mean that your company would view it as unprofessional.
My friend works at Barney's and they get off on their birthday. I normally take a vacation on my birthday. No one has ever given me grief. They wish me a happy birthday and wish me a good time.
I think people are offended that someone in a hiring position thinks they have a right to know what i do on my days off. And would base their hiring on the fact that I may or may not take a day off for a childs birthday.
This exactly. I think it is the idea that someone can decide WHAT you can take your earned time for.
Someone mentioned it being hard to get off work when a child is sick, to me, and my job, that is a totally different animal. You plan for PTO/vacation, your desk and affairs are ready for you to be out. A spontaneous day(s) off is a different thing because your employer is surprised by it.
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| Posted 4/9/14 12:00 PM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
People aren't arguing that there aren't certain jobs where you really can't take off. The issue I have with this thread is a PP said it is UNPROFESSIONAL to take off for a bday - it was a blanket statement. i work in finance in a very professional environment. I have taken off for my DS bday and will continue to do so if I can - reason being because I am a professional I can take the day off scheduled in advance and manage my workload accordingly. And guess what - because I am a professional if something important for work happened to fall on that day then i would make other arrangements to spend time with DS - maybe i go to a meeting in the morning and take a half day or maybe I take off a different day during the week to spend with him. That statement was ignorant and offensive. 
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| Posted 4/9/14 12:32 PM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
the issue is that the question was "do you take off for your kids bdays?". People were responding 'yes, no, depends, etc". Just a normal 'what do you do' question. Then a poster decided to come on and say "hey its a sweet idea but very unprofessional and I wouldnt hire anyone that does that". Well, 1- that was not the question. We all realize peoples situations are different and some are going to have the kind of job that they can do it and some can't. 2- why even come on and bascially attack the moms that said they do? What was the point of that? Again, I think we ALL understand some can and some cant in their jobs - but there was no reason for anyone to start calling the ones who can 'unprofessional'. It would be like the moms that take the day off calling the moms that cant "a bad mom". Its ridiclous and uncalled for.
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| Posted 4/9/14 1:54 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by blue11
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
People aren't arguing that there aren't certain jobs where you really can't take off. The issue I have with this thread is a PP said it is UNPROFESSIONAL to take off for a bday - it was a blanket statement. i work in finance in a very professional environment. I have taken off for my DS bday and will continue to do so if I can - reason being because I am a professional I can take the day off scheduled in advance and manage my workload accordingly. And guess what - because I am a professional if something important for work happened to fall on that day then i would make other arrangements to spend time with DS - maybe i go to a meeting in the morning and take a half day or maybe I take off a different day during the week to spend with him. That statement was ignorant and offensive.
I think unprofessional may have been the wrong word. Depending on your role, when you are fighting for bonuses, promotions or recommendations, the perception of your superiors and peers is important.
Some industries are more family friendly than others. I also work in finance. I currently work part time at a very family friendly company. In the past, I have worked at companies that made colleagues cancel vacations during deal times. They didn't necessarily say that you had to cancel a vacation but it was expected. Or you had to work through it. I worked through my honeymoon. I had to work during holidays. It is the corporate culture. I remember watching my bosses stay at the office when they were supposed to be at a wedding, kid was sitting in the office waiting to be taken to a soccer game, etc. etc. etc.
My husband took no days off when our second son was born. His superior gave him crap for taking a half day to take newborn DS and me home from the hospital. He was a surgical fellow.
DH and I have traded our hectic insanely demanding jobs in Manhattan for a much better work life balance down in Virginia. We earn less but the cost of living is also less and we are much happier. Most all companies here seem to value family time. We are very happy. I don't think we could manage the same in Manhattan. We would both have to still work like maniacs to keep up with our peers. I no longer earn my huge six figure bonuses but I can tell you that my old peers (mostly male) who do most likely do not take off for their kid's birthday.
Message edited 4/9/2014 2:05:24 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/14 1:56 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by Bridex100
I think unprofessional may have been the wrong word. Depending on your role, when you are fighting for bonuses, promotions or recommendations, the perception of your superiors and peers is important.
Some industries are more family friendly than others. I also work in finance. I currently work part time at a very family friendly company. In the past, I have worked at companies that made colleagues cancel vacations during deal times. They didn't necessarily say that you had to cancel a vacation but it was expected. Or you had to work through it. I worked through my honeymoon. I had to work during holidays. It is the corporate culture. I remember watching my bosses stay at the office when they were supposed to be at a wedding, kid was sitting in the office waiting to be taken to a soccer game, etc. etc. etc.
.
This is what I was thinking about when I responded. *I* don't think it's unprofessional to take a day off for family stuff, if you can, you should. Those times are things you can't ever repeat, times you can't get back.
There are corporate cultures, however, that do not value family and it's perceived to be "unprofessional" or as if you aren't dedicating enough time to the company if you take days off for what the culture considers frivolous. I would not choose to work in this environment, but I do know a couple of people who work in settings like that. They can't plan to attend anything I plan several months in advance beacuse their schedules might change, even big events.
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| Posted 4/9/14 3:35 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by Sash
You ladies are cray cray. I don't know if "unprofessional" was probably the best term, since that what seems to be getting everyone all riled up. Although I didn't use that term, I can see how it can be frowned upon to take off for a kids birthday every year at some jobs.
And if we are going to sit here and say that it doesn't happen or there isn't any organizations that will look down on a MOM or DAD taking off very year for a bday we are kidding ourselves. My sister can barely take off when her kid are sick with out going through some sh!t.
I have to automatically discredit anyone using the term "cray cray"
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| Posted 4/9/14 4:21 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by Sash
You ladies are cray cray. I don't know if "unprofessional" was probably the best term, since that what seems to be getting everyone all riled up. Although I didn't use that term, I can see how it can be frowned upon to take off for a kids birthday every year at some jobs.
And if we are going to sit here and say that it doesn't happen or there isn't any organizations that will look down on a MOM or DAD taking off very year for a bday we are kidding ourselves. My sister can barely take off when her kid are sick with out going through some sh!t.
I have to automatically discredit anyone using the term "cray cray"
It's all good, I discredit those who lack a sense of humor or the inability to see another point of view.
On another note, we should all quit our jobs and become lawyers. Because man can we debate the crap out of any topic. Lol
Message edited 4/9/2014 4:53:16 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/14 4:50 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
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DiamondMama
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Re: FTWM-Do you take off of work for your LO birthday?
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by dpli
I think on this thread, like so many others on LIF, people are only viewing this question in terms of their own personal experience and are missing the point others are trying to make.
When thinking about the OP's question, one tends to consider it regarding jobs they have, or jobs they have had in the past. I have a job where it would not be frowned upon for me to take off for my DS's birthday, but I simply can't afford to burn a day for it. I know there are people who can't take planned vacation days for things like birthdays. If you don't work in that field, you don't get it. My brother is a partner in a law firm and often has to go to court. He simply does not have the flexibility in his schedule to make every special event my nephew has, nevermind taking off for his birthday.
There are many other jobs, mentioned in this thread, where it's not going to help you professionally to take days off like this. Yes, you get a certain number of days off per year, vacation, personal, whatever. Yes, in theory, you should be able to manage them however you want. In reality, it doesn't always work out that way and not every job is going to be OK with you taking a day off for a kid's birthday. You don't have to agree with it or understand it for it to be true.
I wrote that I think it depends on the position and company. Some people seem to be offended that in certain work environments, taking time off for a bday may be frowned upon. That doesn't mean that your company would view it as unprofessional.
My friend works at Barney's and they get off on their birthday. I normally take a vacation on my birthday. No one has ever given me grief. They wish me a happy birthday and wish me a good time.
I think people are offended that someone in a hiring position thinks they have a right to know what i do on my days off. And would base their hiring on the fact that I may or may not take a day off for a childs birthday.
exactly. The poster said they wouldnt hire someone who took off for their childs birthday--THAT is an absurd statement, knowing nothing else about the person you would choose not to hire them bc of that? stupid thing to say
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| Posted 4/9/14 4:58 PM |
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