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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
It depends. I would never send my child to a school like Lawrenceville in NJ. It is a wonderful elite school but we are not blue blood old money so even we could afford to send my child there I feel like they would only end up feeling inadequate.
For other schools I would consider it and am considering it. As long as your child will be "middle of the pack" in terms of wealth. I certainly would not want my DD to be one of the "poorest".
I do think the going to a better high school helps you get into better undergrads. DH and his brothers all went to Chaminade and although that is not really an elite school it does have its connections and one of his brothers whose grades weren't all that great went to an Ivy school. If he had been from public school there is no way he would have gotten in whith his grades and scores.
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Posted 12/15/09 10:06 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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mcd01
Life is good : )
Member since 3/09 1932 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
personally, I think child gets out of and education what they put in to it. I do not believe because you pay top dollar for a school for your child means they get mote knowledge, my daughter put so much into her education and graduated with high honors member of the national and french honor society, and is in a wonderful college with a great career in her future. just my opinion. but it is what you as a parent feels is right for your child.
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| Posted 12/15/09 10:24 AM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
It would depend on what my other options were. I went to NYC public schools until High school, and then I went to a private all girls school. While not Ivy League, I went to a really good school and did well. (IMO!  )
What about starting her later to save some $$$? We are thinking about sending DD to a school with a similar pricing structure, but our SD is decent so it's a hard nut to swallow esp with # 2 coming.
I also believe that just bc someone goes to an expensive well rated school doesn't mean they will do well or wind up going to an Ivy League school. I think it depends on the values and encouragement parents provide as well as what friends he/she makes.
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| Posted 12/15/09 10:58 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by stickydust
It depends. I would never send my child to a school like Lawrenceville in NJ. It is a wonderful elite school but we are not blue blood old money so even we could afford to send my child there I feel like they would only end up feeling inadequate.
My brother went to Lawrenceville on a partial scholarship, and I went to another private school in that area before going to boarding school in CT. Things have changed, and these schools are not blue blood old money (or even new money). It's a lot of people who just feel strongly that (in that case) they want the best education that money can buy. And yes, public schools are fine, but my brother took 20 AP classes, and there are very few public schools that offer those courses. They have a swimming pool, an ice rink, a huge theatre...
I think the feeling inadequate is hard to say if you haven't gone to those schools and understand what it's like, but I never felt worse about myself because I didn't have everything that others did. I was there for an education, and I worked my butt off to get into ivy league schools, as did my brother.
Inadequacy is within yourself--I know several girls who went to Kent Place in NJ, and it is wealthy as well, but the public schools in the Summit/Short Hills area are just as wealthy.
If you don't want your DC to feel badly about not having as many material things, to me that's a value you teach as home, just as you would drugs/drinking, etc.
But I wouldn't send a girl to Kent Place (I don't know where the OP is referring to), because again, I don't believe in single sex education, at any level.
Message edited 12/15/2009 11:04:46 AM.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:04 AM |
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by nov04libride
Inadequacy is within yourself--I know several girls who went to Kent Place in NJ, and it is wealthy as well, but the public schools in the Summit/Short Hills area are just as wealthy.
If you don't want your DC to feel badly about not having as many material things, to me that's a value you teach as home, just as you would drugs/drinking, etc.
ITA with this on EVERY level
Message edited 12/15/2009 11:07:48 AM.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:07 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by nbc188
If I could afford it with no problems, I probably would send her if it was as well-rated as you say.
Same here. BUT
I would have a few concerns...
1) "too much pressure" on her to get into Ivy League and then not get in and be devastated. She is an "A type" personality I can already see her put pressure on herself with certain things.
2) that she would be the "Lead Heather" in a school like that. Gracie has a bossy streak that I feel would be made worse in a ultra competitive academic environment. I can see it now at 3 1/2.
3) it's not just the tuition at a private school like that... it is the clothes, the after school programs, the car at age 16, the right handbags, etc. Even is money was no object, I would not want her to grow up with a sense of "entitlement" to a new BMW at age 16 or a kooba bag for her 13th birthday, KWIM? It's not JUST the school in this situation...it everything surrounding it IMHO. If it was the education alone, and Grace would feel no "other pressures" materialistically, I would do it, no question. I hope that makes sense.
Good luck with your decision!
Message edited 12/15/2009 11:16:43 AM.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:14 AM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
I think $12K for preschool is reasonable considering what most parents pay for day care. I personally think $30K is a little steep for middle and HS. I don't believe that elite private schools is the only way to get the absolute best education out there. There are so many other factors that help a child succeed.
We are currently looking for kindergarten for Nate and we are considering private schools. It is very competitive to get into the few good Chicago public schools. Admission for some of the schools are done by lottery and/or by testing. Even if the child does well on the test you are not guaranteed that admission, so as a back-up we are applying to some private schools.
One of my biggest concerns with the private schools is diversity. The two schools we're looking at have an OK balance where my kids won't be the only black kids there. It's such a hard decision process bc you want to make sure you give your child the best opportunities. DH and I have spent hours researching schools and going to open houses to find the best fit for Nate and our family.
On another note, I tried to convince DH to apply to the Chicago Lab school that the Obama girls went to, but he said there's no way in he!! he's paying $20K for elementary school.
Message edited 12/15/2009 11:39:16 AM.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:35 AM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
I was going to write this yesterday and I confirmed my suspicions by asking DH last night and his response was...
DEFINITELY!
...I knew it.  After all, pretty much the only reason I BF both of my girls for ANY length of time is because he thinks "if there's even a 1% chance that this will make them smarter, you're doing it."  And yeah, he was definitely on board with the single-sex thing too.
And I'll also add that my children will all go to private school; in fact, my DD started this year for pre-k. (And looking ahead, (and of course the choice is theirs) we hope they will be accepted into a HS like Townsend Harris or Stuyvesant, etc.--FREE!) I went to private schools until college and taught in them for 11 years--I believe in the product. Just not for 30K.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:43 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by rojerono
Nope.
I supplement their education by working with them at home and with real world experiences. I am pretty parsimonious and unless the public school system where I live absolutely sucked I wouldn't see the real value in spending that kind of money on a designer education.
I feel the same way.
I think there are pluses & minuses in every school. Elite private schools have a different set of minuses.
I don't think $12K is a lot considering daycare expenses.
Message edited 12/15/2009 11:48:45 AM.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:46 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
For me, it would depend on factors other than the money. It would depend on the public school in my area and what I knew about the private school. Just the fact that a lot of the kids go on to Ivy League schools would not be what would motivate me to send my child there. I grew up in an affluent area in LI where the public schools are top and many of the students go on to Ivy Leagues - I also had friends that went to the private schools in the area (Buckley, Friends etc.). I live in the same area now. I am sending my DS to a private montessori for 3,4 and Kindegarten which is $$$ but, not, $12,000 - but, if it were, I might still consider it b/c I think it is the best place for him.
I plan to send him to the public schools here though when he hits first grade. I just don't like what I know about the kids that go to the private schools in the area and what goes on there. Alot of these kids come from a lot of wealth - but, it is often unsupervised wealth. There are ALOT of problems that go along with unsupervised wealth - not to mention many of the kids do end up with somewhat of an elitist attitude. In my experience - the kid that go to the public school in my area (again, we are talking a top school in a wealthy area) ended up in basically the same places years later (and even the kids I know in the area now) as the kids in the private schools. So for me, we are not even considering it. However, if when the time comes more info comes to light that makes me feel the private school is better, I would send him there - so, I guess what I am saying - for me, it's more than the money or the fact that they end up in Ivy League schools - its the enviornment and what the other students and parents are like to me that is more important - a smart kid will do great at a great public school or a great private one.
HTH!
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:55 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by itsbabytime
Alot of these kids come from a lot of wealth - but, it is often unsupervised wealth. There are ALOT of problems that go along with unsupervised wealth - not to mention many of the kids do end up with somewhat of an elitist attitude. In my experience - the kid that go to the public school in my area (again, we are talking a top school in a wealthy area) ended up in basically the same places years later (and even the kids I know in the area now) as the kids in the private schools. So for me, we are not even considering it.
HTH!
This is exactly what I was trying to express!!
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:58 AM |
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autumn
Mommy to 2 divas
Member since 9/07 3389 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by KateDevine
I would only do it if my public school not good.
But I'm a public school kid
same here
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:59 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
yes
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| Posted 12/15/09 12:15 PM |
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rocket3499
LIF Infant
Member since 6/08 128 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Absolutely - I wouldn't even think twice about it.
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| Posted 12/15/09 12:38 PM |
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lakadema
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1180 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by teddysmama1021
Posted by nov04libride
Inadequacy is within yourself--I know several girls who went to Kent Place in NJ, and it is wealthy as well, but the public schools in the Summit/Short Hills area are just as wealthy.
If you don't want your DC to feel badly about not having as many material things, to me that's a value you teach as home, just as you would drugs/drinking, etc.
ITA with this on EVERY level
Definitely agree! If I could afford it and I really felt it would provide great value for my child, who cares about keeping up with everyone else. Growing up we didn't have much but I never thought about it or compared what I had to other kids. Now I think about it and I'm like damn we were poor. 
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| Posted 12/15/09 12:39 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
wow, thank you all so much for your replies...it gave me a lot to think about! I visited the school this morning....I wasn't THAT impressed...yes, it was nice and spacious and the kids all seemed happy...there were music classrooms and science and yoga , but I am not sold yet. I am visiting a Montessori school the first week of January that is a lot cheaper....and I have a sneaking suspicion I am going to like it better.
I am still going to send in an application to this school...because I really want to know if Madison would be accepted...petty, I know, but I want to see what happens....
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| Posted 12/15/09 12:59 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by SpiceGirl
If I were a multi-millionaire...yes, without a doubt.
me too...
let's face it... you can go to a REALLY good school but if you're dumb... you'll always be dumb.
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| Posted 12/15/09 1:31 PM |
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Alex110879
craziness
Member since 8/06 3762 total posts
Name:
Alexandria
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
as a person who went to catholic school my entire life and in particular went to one of the hardest high schools on the island, i personally wouldnt spend the money... between dh,myself and my 4 siblings i do not see the major "success" that you would think.... yes we all went to college... but of my family and friends we are all either cops, teachers, mailmen, firefighters... nothing that i can say was worth the massive amount of money that you will spend
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| Posted 12/15/09 2:47 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by Alex110879
as a person who went to catholic school my entire life and in particular went to one of the hardest high schools on the island, i personally wouldnt spend the money... between dh,myself and my 4 siblings i do not see the major "success" that you would think.... yes we all went to college... but of my family and friends we are all either cops, teachers, mailmen, firefighters... nothing that i can say was worth the massive amount of money that you will spend
SAME HERE!!!!!
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| Posted 12/15/09 2:58 PM |
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Teri
my girls!
Member since 2/06 1491 total posts
Name:
Teri
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Posted by johnsae
wow, thank you all so much for your replies...it gave me a lot to think about! I visited the school this morning....I wasn't THAT impressed...yes, it was nice and spacious and the kids all seemed happy...there were music classrooms and science and yoga , but I am not sold yet. I am visiting a Montessori school the first week of January that is a lot cheaper....and I have a sneaking suspicion I am going to like it better.
I am still going to send in an application to this school...because I really want to know if Madison would be accepted...petty, I know, but I want to see what happens....
I think it's great for a school to have yoga. It can be a really great way for kids to relax and calm down a bit!
I personally am a fan of public schools. We purposely bought in our SD to send the girls to the school system. Even if we were much wealthier I don't think I'd change anything.
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| Posted 12/15/09 3:15 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
If I had the money, absolutely...no question!
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| Posted 12/15/09 3:19 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
Alicia - do you mind FM'ing which school this is? We had a neighbor who was sending her daughter to private school and raved about it.
Anyway, we live in the same town and I do feel comfortable sending DD to school here. Do I think it's the top top education? No, not really which makes DH want to move to MIllburn or Westfield, but then again, I think it's what you make of it too. And I'm all about free full day kindergarten here!
But since I know NOTHING about private schools, what makes them different from public school? I know that might sound dumb, but seriously, I have never looked into this. They must do the same curriculum, but what else do they do there?
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| Posted 12/15/09 5:00 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
No. DH and I both went to public schools and Ivy League colleges. One of the main reasons we chose our town was b/c it has great public schools. If we lived in an area where the public schools were not that good, I'd definitely consider it.
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| Posted 12/15/09 5:17 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
I would. Private schools are not just the education, but also the social networking aspect of it for the students, the parents etc. In this highly competitive world we live in, it's not just what you know, but also who. Not necessarily at such a young age, but definitely at college level.
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| Posted 12/15/09 7:27 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: If you could afford it...would you send your DC to a top school that costs $$$$
no, definitely not.
i am a huge fan of public school and will only send my children there.
i personally was hired in 2 separate private schools to teach a subject i was not qualified or certified to teach and i hadn't ever stepped foot in my own classroom as of then. i turned down the jobs but it left a bad taste in my mouth. every school is obviously not that way but that was my personal experience.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:10 PM |
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