is this typical for 7 year old?

DS is pretty headstrong, on top of being an only child, but it's really frustrating for DH & me. Here's what happened today, but it's not an uncommon event.

We were going to a local farm for fun and were going to stop for lunch before. DS wanted to go to McDonald's but it was in the opposite direction so we said no. DS pitched a major fit and DH said that we'd compromise and go to McD's for dinner. DS pitched a fit for about an hour - going from yelling to being huffy to crying b/c he wanted to go to McD's first.

After his crying settled, he said he still wanted to go to the farm but wouldn't put on his shoes. We said that if he wanted to go he needed to get moving. He finally put them on (10 minutes later) but then wouldn't get in the car. At that point, DH & I decided that we were just going to go through McD's drive thru and come home. Once DS realized that we weren't going to the farm (we were in the car by that time) he screamed and cried and kicked the seat in front of him. He kept saying he wanted to go and every time we calmly said no, he'd go back into a fit.

Now it's 3 hours later and he's still mad (we took his TV and device privileges away) and alternating between mad and grumbling about how he's mad at us. DH had to leave the house b/c he was so upset and I started washing dishes and listening to a podcast to tune him out.

This is a pretty extreme example b/c DS usually doesn't hold a grudge this long, but it's pretty typical in that if he doesn't get his way without compromising he gets really angry and then cries for 10 minutes.

I assume this is normal behavior (especially since we recently moved here) but DH & I are going through personal issues that I feel aren't being shone in front of DS but DH feel really vulnerable and feels DS is picking up on it. Do you think these extreme mood swings, "holding us hostage" if he doesn't get his way, etc seems typical of a 7 year old?

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

For my kids, that sounds typical for my 3 year old, but my 6 and 8 year old would not be allowed to behave that way. I understand being disappointed and trying to compromise, but if either of my older 2 had a fit like that, they would be sitting in there room until they calmed down and they would certainly not be going anywhere fun or eating out. I would limit compromising while he's in a fit, he needs to understand that is no way for a 7 year old to act, and he won't get rewarded for such behavior. Taking him out to eat after he behaved that way, just showed if he whines and pouts he will ultimately get his way. I am told I am strict though, so just keep that in mind with my advice, bc that may not work for you and your family

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

No, not typical behavior for a 7 year old.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

I agree with the previous posters. Honestly, if my child pitched a fit to go to mcdonalds, that would be the last place they would get to go.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

I think your biggest mistake is compromising after he has thrown a fit, and still giving him what he wants. No way would I be doing that!! If my kids throw a fit about something, it's over. They don't get ANYTHING.

is this typical for 7 year old?

Not typical behavior at all. Does he do the same at school or just with you and your husband?

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

My DD behaved like this at 3. Reading what you wrote reminded me of many incidents back then.
But now at 6 almost 7 she never behaves like you described. She has some moments of defiance but nothing even close to that.
Even at 5 her behavior was much improved.
So I would say no, that is not typical behavior for a 7 year old.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

No not typical. Sorry to be harsh but your kid is acting like a spoiled brat. I also have a head strong 7 year old but can't even imagine them acting that way. I'm a pretty strict parent though and don't allow that type of behavior.

is this typical for 7 year old?

No, not typical of a 7 yr old at all. Does he often have issues controlling and/or communicating his emotions?

is this typical for 7 year old?

That does not sound typical to me at all.

is this typical for 7 year old?

He's a sweet kid at school and never gets in trouble - he only acts this way with us. The only reason we still went out was bc we didn't have anything at home to eat - which is why we were going to go out for lunch before going to the farm.

This was definitely an extreme example - he usually snaps out of it sooner than that but he definitely prefers to eat at home and fights us most of the time.

I'm wondering if part of it is bc we recently moved and we're in a state of flux (living in an apt with half our stuff in storage). Or that he's a little too addicted to watching videos and TV. We limit it during the week (only 30 min in the morning before school) but no limit on the weekend. We took everything away yesterday and it was telling to us how he relies on it too much (he kept saying he was bored while building Legos and couldn't seem to be satisfied). I think I'm going to start limiting tv on the weekends, too. (It's not like he watches it all weekend bc we usually do stuff as a family so it's just in the morning and after dinner).

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

This is not typical or accepted behavior in my home for kids ages 7 and 9. I could understand being annoyed, saying oh I wish we could go, but not what you are descrbing.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

no not typical.

is this typical for 7 year old?

Of course today we try it again and he's perfectly happy to do what we originally asked. However we didn't let him watch videos at all today so I'm thinking that might be a main thing to look at. Bums me out that it's not typical behavior bc that points to us as bad parents!

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

My 8 year old occasionally has an attitude and gets in a bad mood if he doesn't like something that he has to do. He snaps out of it quickly and doesn't cry or pitch a fit. He mostly mopes about with an angry look on his face, but does what we ask. What you describe sounds like my almost 5 year old though. He's so stubborn, moody and temperamental. He has meltdowns that last a while although once he calms down, he's back to being sweet and agreeable. I don't think it's typical behavior for a 7 year old and I think my almost 5 year old is on the verge of this not being normal either. My only advice is to not give in and definitely limit screen time.

is this typical for 7 year old?

you mentioned issues between you and DH, this could be the cause for this behavior. Even if you both think you're hiding the issues kids are sponges and he is soaking it all in.

I read some more of your posts. I agree with being to involved with games and TV etc, living in flux is unsettling to kids and you too plus the issues with your spouse.

Sounds like the family is dealing with many changes

Message edited 5/7/2017 7:33:29 PM.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

No that is not typical for a 7 year old.

No offense, but you gave him what he wanted, thus reinforcing the bad behavior. If my DS did that at any age, McDonalds would be the last place I would take him for the rest of the week. Maybe think of some more effective consequences for his behavior.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

Message edited 5/8/2017 12:21:56 PM.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

I would not say you are a bad parent. By reaching out, you are doing the right thing. If my kids have too much screen time then their behavior is effected by it. I would not have given in and gone to McDonalds. That is reinforcing in him the idea that being bad will get him what he wants, so next time he may double his efforts.

Before screen time, our kids have to do push ups or sit ups or jumping jacks. In addition, they have to make their bed, brush their teeth, get dressed, and have breakfast. Then they can watch YouTube videos before school.

During the summer they have to read and do two workbook pages daily. My logic is there is 24 hours in the day. You can have 23 hours, but I get fifteen minutes for workbook pages and 45 minutes for reading.

If he does something positive, reward that. Start small. He can do it and so can you. Good luck.

is this typical for 7 year old?

This was typical behavior for my son at 8, but he has diagnosed ADHD. Does he have any other issues that might cause concern?

Typically, ADHD kids are emotionally 3 years behind in maturity levels.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

I don't think it's average, typical behavior BUT if he gets his way because of a tantrum AND he is stressed out from the move AND he was hungry AND he might have been tired... then it could be normal.

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?

Just wanted to post that I have a very mature 8 yo DD. Yesterday actually, she had a melt down because I told her she couldn't go do something. It is totally out of character for her and lasted probably about an hr. But she did have a melt down including crying and kicking the seat on the way home.
I am not concerned at all. It was an off moment. Definitely not the usual. I think it probably depends if your son exhibits these behaviors on a regular basis or if it was just an off day.

I also have to say there is no way in he ll we would have gone to McDonalds if that was what the tantrum was about originally lol I'd eat anything else instead

Re: is this typical for 7 year old?