Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

Back in December I had to call the cops for my elderly neighbor who I thought was being harmed by her home health aide. Here is the post I made about it .

Since it's gotten nicer out, I'm out in the backyard with my son a lot. This aide is now yelling things over the fence to me - a lot of the time it's just in a language I don't understand but I know without question that it's directed at me. Sunday morning, she caught my eye and yelled "What goes around comes around". DH and I went to the police station to talk to an officer about what was going on. We have NEVER engaged this woman, I've never even said 2 words to her. Every time she yells something out, I ignore her. The cops at the station said there is nothing they can do about it based on what we were telling them.

I'm just afraid that she's going to call the cops on us and tell them that I'm harming my son. We've stopped letting our dog out in the backyard because what if she threw poison or something over the fence? She's obviously not rational if she's still harping on this 5 months after the fact.

The next time she says ANYTHING to me, the cops will be called. What more can I do here? I'm bringing DS to the ped for something today, should I give his doctor a heads up as to what's going on just in case she *does* call CPS or something?



****** Tuesday night ******
I was in the back with James around 6pm - The woman yells out "INFORMER!!!! YOU CALLED THE COPS - YOU'RE NOTHING BUT TRASH" I scooped James up , went inside and called the cops. Cops came, heard my side, went to talk to the neighbor, came back and said that she claimed she was "on the phone". I asked to file a report and they said that there wasn't enough to go on. Now I have to worry about this every time I go in my backyard?

Message edited 5/10/2011 8:10:38 PM.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

I don't think you should tell the doc... sounds like you are trying to cover something up that isn't there.

Sorry the cops can't do more. And it really suxs for your neighbor that she still has the same aide.

Maybe you can get a voice activated recorder and record what she yells over the fence?

Message edited 5/10/2011 9:03:21 AM.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Unfortuately the cops can't do anything at this point if all she is doing is saying things to you. It has to raise to another level before they will get involved. The only thing I can say to do is still contact them if her behavior continues because if it is a pattern then it would be harassment.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

What a sucky situation, V. I don't think I'd say anything to the ped, but I'd definitely call the cops the next time she says something. I'm surprised that they can't file a verbal harassment charge or something. If she is saying, "what goes around comes around" that's a threat, IMO.
Is there any way you can find out what agency she works for? I would definitely call them!! I remember your original post and it broke my heart. I can't believe she's still working with your neighbor.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Kudos to you for not engaging this woman.
I'd seriously consider installing web cams.
I think speaking w/ the Dr. is probably a good idea.

Other than that, I might think about making her aware that your property is being monitored by web cams.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Posted by FreeButterfly

I don't think you should tell the doc... sounds like you are trying to cover something up that isn't there.




This - sounds like you're trying to cover something up

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

I would do what a PP suggested and get a recorder and record her when she yells something. Also contact the non-emergency police number every time so there is a record of this.
I would think after enough complaints it would be considered harrassment.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Does this elderly person get mail to their home? Does someone go through it?

Is there a family member overseeing things? Have you ever seen someone else come to the house?

I'm thinking a visiting nurse service could come to the house and investigate.

If she is verbally abusive to you she is most likely doing that to this poor elderly person.

Home health aides are not part of insurance for the most part. Someone is paying her.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

i agree is there a family member?
i would hope so thats so sad.

this year plant evergreen trees and eventually they will drow large enough.
you have to live your life now too. you cant be afraid of what this woman is going to do to you.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Vanessa, this sucks so bad, I feel terrible that you're like a prisoner in your own home over this kook.
But here's what I would do, I'd start with a family member - get the name of the agency this witch works for and make a complaint to them. Does she wear an ID card or something that would identify her (assuming you could get close enough to read it)? I would DEFINITELY set up a cheap motion-activated camera outside, god forbid she were to put anything poisonous out there and either LIly or James got into it.
Keep ignoring her, that's obviously the right thing, and definitely not the easy thing.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

Thanks everybody!

DH and I decided that we are not doing anythng further with calling anyone for this woman. We have a family of our own to look out for and I don't want to further anger this crazy lady. All I can do is hope for the best for my neighbor.

I guess it would look somewhat shady if we told the ped what was going on, huh?

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

I would tape her yelling things & I would probably have video cameras set up.

In all likelihood, I'd probably threaten her arse that the next time she starts screaming things at me. Call the police & step it up. The idea that you think she'd put poison over your fence, leads me to think you need to contact this woman's family & let them know the type of person that's working for them.

The fact that you've already contacted the police about her behavior to me means you are probably in a better position.

Also as an FYI:

NYS Laws Regarding Falsely Reporting Child Abuse and Maltreatment

Social Service Law
§ 422.14 The department shall refer suspected cases of falsely reporting child abuse and maltreatment in violation of subdivision three of section 240.55 of the penal law to the appropriate law enforcement agency or district attorney. *

*[The relevant portions of the Penal Law were amended and the sections renumbered. The Penal Law reference to intentional false reports is now at Section 240.50(4) of the Penal Law. The Social Service Law has not yet been changed to reflect that.]

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Penal Law
§ 240.50 Falsely reporting an incident in the third degree. A person is guilty of falsely reporting an incident in the third degree when, knowing the information reported, conveyed or circulated to be false or baseless, he:

1. Initiates or circulates a false report or warning of an alleged occurrence or impending occurrence of a crime, catastrophe or emergency under circumstances in which it is not unlikely that public alarm or inconvenience will result; or
2. Reports, by word or action, to an official or quasi-official agency or organization having the function of dealing with emergencies involving danger to life or property, an alleged occurrence or impending occurrence of a catastrophe or emergency which did not in fact occur or does not in fact exist; or

3. Gratuitously reports to a law enforcement officer or agency (a) the alleged occurrence of an offense or incident which did not in fact occur; or (b) an allegedly impending occurrence of an offense or incident which in fact is not about to occur; or (c) false information relating to an actual offense or incident or to the alleged implication of some person therein; or

4. Reports, by word or action, to the statewide central register of child abuse and maltreatment, as defined in title six of article six of the social services law, an alleged occurrence or condition of child abuse or maltreatment which did not in fact occur or exist.

Falsely reporting an incident in the third degree is a class A misdemeanor.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

i would definitely try to record what she is saying so you can find someone to translate it. that would drive me nuts to not know what she's saying. Also, are you still concerned that she may be harming your neighbor?

Re: Need some advice - WWYD?

I'd buy a flip cam or something small and light that could go outside with me at all times.

Then if if this continues you would have proof for cops or neighbor's family.


If there is nothing by your back fence how about planting some arborvitae trees?

Message edited 5/10/2011 11:23:50 AM.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

Message edited 5/10/2011 8:21:37 PM.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

Ugh! Seriously V, I would do anything I could to find out what agency she works for and report her. Or, like someone said, can you speak to her family? Someone is paying for this POS to "take care" of your neighbor

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

i have no advice that wasn't already suggested (which is why i didn't respond earlier) but i just read your update.... what a piece of garbage she is. makes me so angry.
sorry you are dealing with this.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

can you contact the elderly woman's children? i'm so sorry you're dealing with this!

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

Am I nuts for thinking... I'd tape this stuff??
I would literally get a camera or some sort of tape of her saying this stuff to you. Then you have the proof of it.
So that the next time it does happen you can call the cops with proof of what she is doing to you.

She seems like a real nut job... and really at this point I think she probably is harming her patient!!!

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

set up cameras! this women doesn't seem to want to drop it.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

I would keep calling the cops with every incident.

And, I would probably look into setting up cameras.

So sorry you are going through this when you were only trying to do the right thing

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

I would break out the camcorder when she starts her rants. Document, document, document.

Let her see you video taping her. Then play it back to her.

I know you don't want to antagonize her but the authorities are not helping.

You have to take these matters into your own hands.

Do this when you don't have your child with you if you can.

Did the police give you any advice?

The fact that she calls you an informer is very telling. If you get her on tape you can send it out to home care agencies to see who she works for and take it from there.

Re: Need some advice - WWYD? - UPDATE Tuesday night

Posted by mrswask

Ugh! Seriously V, I would do anything I could to find out what agency she works for and report her. Or, like someone said, can you speak to her family? Someone is paying for this POS to "take care" of your neighbor