Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

My DD has been getting increasingly fussy for the past few days. When she's awake, she either doesn't want to be put down, or at times, isn't even content being held. I can get her to take a pacifier for a few minutes, then she rejects it. When I put her down in her bouncy seat she will only sit for a few minutes before crying. Same with the swing and laying down on the play mat. We had changed her formula to Enfamil Gentlease because we told the doctor that she passes a lot of gas and doesn't burp well. As of this morning, I changed back to the regular newborn formula with mylicon drops because she has been so unhappy and has been screaming at times during feedings. She has also been demanding more frequent feedings, and I feel like it wasn't filling her up as well.

Even with gas though, how do I know what's normal and what's an actual problem that needs to be addressed? I know newborns are not supposed to be easy, and that they cry a lot, but it's just so frustrating when she is fed, has a clean diaper, and has had a long nap and she is still not content. She sleeps for 4-5 hours at night, eats and then sleeps for another 3 hours or so, although noisily with grunting at times. I feel like if she was in real discomfort, she would be up a lot at night screaming, and would have trouble napping as well. I just wish that she seemed happier when awake. I will get a few minutes of contentment and smiles, then a full-out screaming wail!

I don't even know what answers I'm looking for here...I just needed to vent. Being a newborn mommy is so much harder than I thought it would be, and I feel guilty that I'm not enjoying my time home with her as much as I should be.

Message edited 7/19/2012 11:01:59 AM.

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

The newborn stage is HARD.
Is she spitting up at all? Or just gassy/fussy after feelings?

How is she when in the car or stroller? My DD was very fussy, but she LOVED walks and car rides. I'd try to do both each day, even to go to a drive-thru to get a coffee...Target to wander around...or a walk to a local park. Getting out might be good for both of you :)

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Looks like she is 5 weeks old, right? Could be a growth spurt.

Don't feel bad about not enjoying every single minute. You are right, it is hard being a new mom. It's also hard the 2nd time around too! Babies are hard to read when they are that little. I am sure that if she is eating & sleeping that there is nothing wrong that requires medical attention. I think that's where your mommy gut kicks in. You will know when something is really wrong.

Try going out for a walk like the PP said. Would probably due you some good too! Also, can you go visit a family member? Get you out of the house for a bit? And someone else that can help entertain your little lady.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

I'm not sure there's a real answer - I always wondered the same thing. I just gave it more time, because that's what I was told - that she would grow out of the fussiness/gassiness. And she did. I don't remember exactly when, but it was before I went back to work (I went back when she was 3 mos).

Newborns are HARD - do NOT feel guilty. We've all been there.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Being a mommy is soooo hard!

I agree with the pp who said that if something is really wrong you will feel it in you gut and in your bones. I don't know how to explain it, you will just know that something isn't right.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Has the PED checked her for reflux?

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

When my DD was about this age I was bringing her to an allergist because my mommy instincts were telling me something was wrong. What you've described is very similar to what I remember in those early days. Turns out she had a dairy and soy allergy, and I switched her to alimentum which took care of the problem almost immediately.

At the time my ped was saying because they are so young and their digestive systems are still settling, wait until 6 weeks old... but no. I didn't want to, it felt wrong, and like you, I was a first time mom so what did I know? Because my family is allergic to just about everything, I got the referral and after our visit, it turned out that my instincts were right.

See if you can get a referral for an allergist. A lot of babies have a hard time digesting the dairy protein which causes gas, constipation, crying, all of it... my DD was miserable for the first 8 weeks of her life. And so was I.

Hang in there, it gets better.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Hi. I'm a new poster and mom as well. My little guy is 6 weeks old and went through the same thing around the same time. I think it's normal. I don't have much advice to give as I'm still learning as well. Have you tried taking her outside for a few minutes when she's really fussy? My little guy instantly stops fussing/crying when we do that or run water. Also try googling "wonder weeks." Apparently this age is a time when babies go through a mental growth spurt and get more fussy, clingy, hungry, etc.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Could be a growth spurt. My DS is going through one right now. He gets very cranky and wants to eat alot. I will BF him and when done he will cry for more, but when I try to latch him back on he fights and pulls off because I don't think the milk is coming out fast enough for him. Sometimes I supplement with a little formula which holds him over for a bit. He also takes alot of short naps and a few long ones.

My first DS had reflux. He would be cranky alot if placed on his back. He spit up alot, would grunt and seem uncomfortable. It could be that.
Infants are not easy, and it so difficult to figure out what is going on with them. I would wait it out a few days and see if she starts to calm down. If she still seems uncomfortable, I would ask the Ped about Refulx or changing formula. I BF my first DS, but used to supplement with Enfamil AR formula which is for babies who spit up alot. That helped alot.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

This sounds similar to my nephew. He went 3 months till they finally realized that he had a milk allergy. He did not have the normal signs and symptoms other then not sleeping and what seemed to be colic. They also where told to swaddle him every time he goes to sleep with a miracle blanket (this was told to them by there ped) once they did both he sleep like he had all that time to make up.

I remember times that this also with my ds and he did not have any other the issues my nephew had but having a newborn is the hardest job out there.

Hugs for you!!!

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

My DS was like this from about week 2 until 10-12 weeks. He was gassy and colicy. We had him on gentlease which helped a bit but he just cried....ALL DAY LONG. A few naps here and there and would sleep at 2 hr streches at night with crying and screaming in between.

He did not have a milk allergy. It was just being a newborn and he grew out of it. It was a hard few months but he is the happiest little guy now.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

I found that when both my kids were newborns, weeks 6-8 were the hardest. The were the fussiest and hardest to please during that time. Some of the books I read said that this is when fussiness "peaks".

On a more positive note, they both got LOTS better starting at 8 weeks.

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

I know I kinda blocked a lot of that newborn stage out of my mind and it wasn't even that long ago, haha! I do vaguely remember something about 6 weeks being the peak in newborn crankiness and that it should start to subside after that. Luckily we didn't have any gas/digestion issues so I can't really help with that. I know it's been HOT out but what about walks maybe early in the day before the heat gets really bad or in the evening once the sun is going down? Some babies enjoy riding in the stroller and it's always nice for mom to get some fresh air too!

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

i feel like that was DS for the first six months. just always crying and fussing, and never satisfied. He cried through most of his baptism and then the whole party.

i don't think there is an answer. we just always distracted him. we would go for a walk, or sit with him on the balcony, or show him toys that made noise or had different textures. we sang a lot. we made up silly songs to entertain him.

the swing worked for about a half hour at a time.

the good news is, in a few months you won't even remember it! i know DS was fussy and cried a lot, but i don't have any negative feelings about it or remember the details. all i remember is how much i love him.

hang in there! it's so worth it!

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Thanks ladies. We have been getting out for walks when we can. The last two times DD has been in the car, she started screaming, so I've been nervous to take her own on our own.

It's so interesting to read the variety of responses on here. Basically reflects my own thinking...everything from "it's normal" to "it could be reflux." DD rarely spits up, so I don't think it's reflux. She is farting more today since I switched back to the regular formula, but again, she is napping nicely, so I feel like if she was in real pain/distress, she would have a lot more difficulty. She's also not a great burper, and was screaming toward the end of the last feeding, until I got a giant burp out of her. We'll see how it goes with the mylicon drops and take it from there until we get it right.

Thanks again for the support.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

I think this is normal...If not normal this is what I am going through too. Cant put baby down for a second (he is 8 weeks old) without screaming and sometimes he is still crying/screaming with me holding him. It is exhausting! We are BFing and I have thought bout food intolerances etc but I do really think that babies go through this gassy/colicky period no matter what. A lot of my friends who have switched formulas/diet etc seem to notice a difference around 12 weeks (when they are suppose to improve anyway) so I am trying to wait it out. Its hard, try to get some help if you can!

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Those weeks were rough, DD is 11 weeks now and it is sooooo much better.....hang in there

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

this is my 12 week old son to a T. He was like this starting at a few weeks old and its still ongoing. Id think it was normal except his twin sister is the best baby ever and is nothing like this .... Very gassy, farting a LOT, crying during t he bottle @ certain times of the day....yet taking the paci...go figure, right? Hes seen doctors and they just say that it is not reflux, it is his personality and he is just more high needs. do you feed her upright? laying down can make gas worse. also i using powdered, dont shake the bottle- instead stir with a spoon. I have tried the gas drops- one day they work- another they dont. The good thing is that he does sleep..its just his awake time is not very pleasant. I hope it gets better for you!

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

DD was like this too, and I switched to Nutramigen on my own and the difference was noticeable in a matter of a couple days. My peds pffice doesn't test diapers, so I made the decision to change the formula to nutramigen after trying 5 others. She was just so fussy all the time, and I too was not enjoying my time home with her

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

We gave dd #2 a little mylanta before we switched her to nutramagin. Its half a teaspoon, I think it makes a big difference.

Also, give the formula some time to work. I know it's hard to see your baby in pain, but their little tummies need time to adjust to a new diet.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Posted by Jax430

Thanks ladies. We have been getting out for walks when we can. The last two times DD has been in the car, she started screaming, so I've been nervous to take her own on our own.

It's so interesting to read the variety of responses on here. Basically reflects my own thinking...everything from "it's normal" to "it could be reflux." DD rarely spits up, so I don't think it's reflux. She is farting more today since I switched back to the regular formula, but again, she is napping nicely, so I feel like if she was in real pain/distress, she would have a lot more difficulty. She's also not a great burper, and was screaming toward the end of the last feeding, until I got a giant burp out of her. We'll see how it goes with the mylicon drops and take it from there until we get it right.

Thanks again for the support.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

just want to offer support too-the NB stage (for me) was above and beyond difficult for me when i had DD! she was a crier-i mean cried EVERY night from 7-10pm endlessly! it was miserable. i just wanted her to be happy and wanted to enjoy my child like so many people said i would! it was so hard. when i see posts like yours i just have to chime in b/c even though it was 5 yrs ago i still remember exactly how it feels.
my DD did have silent reflux- and she was put on an antacid like axid. it helped but what really helped was time as her body matured.
this time feels endless but i swear you are going to know her so much better in a few weeks! she will be smiling, sleeping more and adjusting. it is going to be great! just hang in there
when i had DS i was terrified he would be like DD and cry so much all the time and he was a totally different baby. never cried! i did put him on probiotics very early on to avoid gas issues and i think it really helped! you can ask your ped. what they think about probiotics for your DD. not everyone thinks they do anything but i did.:)

Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

ok this totally sounds like normal newborn stage to me. we had the same issue that you are having. went to gentlease due to gas issues, within a week went back to similac (was also nursing and pumping). i spoke to our ped about this numerous times.
i truly TRULY believe this is just a normal thing that babies grow out of. around 5w their tummies are starting to develop and its easy for gas to get trapped. it makes them squirmy and whimpery. our ped always said that its actually worse for parents to watch then it is for the baby to experience.

i am of the opinion that if she is eating well, making all the necessary diapers, sleeping enough, no blood in her poop, no projectile spitting up.. there isnt a huge problem and there isnt much you can do.

i would try changing bottles over changing formulas. for us Dr. Browns made a world of difference.

weeks 5-12 are a difficult time for newborn mommies but i really feel like if gas is truly the only issue, it is something she will grow out of in a few weeks. that was our EXACT experience with Em. she was a great baby, slept a lot, rarely cried, although she was a happy spitter upper. but she would sleep restlessly whining and stretching from gas for several weeks. it was very hard to watch but she grew out of it very quickly. it was very tiring for us, and we held her a lot. did a lot of bicycle legs, patting her back while she laid across my legs, mylicon, gripe water... it all helped in small doses. but unless there is reason for real concern about reflux or a milk allergy, i wouldn't jump to fix the problem (i know its hard). also try the rock n play if you dont have one. i swear as soon as we got it she started sleeping soooo much more comfortably with the incline.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

Posted by Jax430

My DD has been getting increasingly fussy for the past few days. When she's awake, she either doesn't want to be put down, or at times, isn't even content being held. I can get her to take a pacifier for a few minutes, then she rejects it. When I put her down in her bouncy seat she will only sit for a few minutes before crying. Same with the swing and laying down on the play mat. We had changed her formula to Enfamil Gentlease because we told the doctor that she passes a lot of gas and doesn't burp well. As of this morning, I changed back to the regular newborn formula with mylicon drops because she has been so unhappy and has been screaming at times during feedings. She has also been demanding more frequent feedings, and I feel like it wasn't filling her up as well.

Even with gas though, how do I know what's normal and what's an actual problem that needs to be addressed? I know newborns are not supposed to be easy, and that they cry a lot, but it's just so frustrating when she is fed, has a clean diaper, and has had a long nap and she is still not content. She sleeps for 4-5 hours at night, eats and then sleeps for another 3 hours or so, although noisily with grunting at times. I feel like if she was in real discomfort, she would be up a lot at night screaming, and would have trouble napping as well. I just wish that she seemed happier when awake. I will get a few minutes of contentment and smiles, then a full-out screaming wail!

I don't even know what answers I'm looking for here...I just needed to vent. Being a newborn mommy is so much harder than I thought it would be, and I feel guilty that I'm not enjoying my time home with her as much as I should be.

Re: Newborn vent: what's normal, and when is there something wrong?

I agree with the pp on lots of the already made points.

First regarding reflux, both my sons had it.
DS1 was the happiest baby, rarely cried, always smiled, spit up CONSTANTLY. From one bottle to the next. I went through bibs faster than diapers!
DS2 almost never spit up but was very uncomfortable. I thought he was colic until he went on meds to soothe the reflux.

Next, it can take about 10 days for a new formula to make a difference. DS1 was super gassy. He would grunt and whine and you could see he would struggle and then a harsh fart would come out. We switched to Good Start (which was amazing! I would totally recommend - I even switched DS2 when he was having a hard time) but it wasnt until day 9ish that I noticed a true difference.

I would mention reflux to the ped. My ped told me all babies have reflux but in varying degrees. Some are fine and some feel it more. Also I would ask them to check a poopy diaper for milk protein allergy. Just to be sure.

Alot of babies who have reflux, will eat more often (or look for hte bottle more often), be more gassy, etc. Also DS sounded congested alot. Try keeping her upright after a feeding. Keep a journal of feedings, how many oz and how she responded afterwards. See if there are trends to her crabbiness etc. Note when you give her mylicon, when she is really gassy etc. Try sleeping her not fully on her back, I used to prop DS on his side until I got a crib wedge.

As a parent, you may not know whats normal, but you have a gut feeling when something ISN'T. Follow that gut.

GL it does get alot better!!!!

ETA I also forgot, my ped had mentioned to me with DS1 that usually you only start to see these issues around 1 month. When babies are born, their digestive systems still need time to mature. And as they do that you will encounter gas, reflux etc issues. DS1 switched formula around 5w, he started becoming a spit up machine around 6w, etc.

Message edited 7/19/2012 11:14:33 PM.