Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

After talking to Rylans ped we decided we are going to start CIO tomorrow night. Does anyone have any pointers on getting started?

We will be picking up a video monitor tomorrow because I think we will go the route of not going in at all. I have also been sleeping with Rylans stuffed ducky and one of his blankets...trying to get my scent on them as much as possible then tomorrow night I will be putting them in the crib with him. Not sure if it will help but it's worth a shot.

I have a bunch of questions...

1. How do you go about picking a bedtime if he's never had one? I know you should put them down drowsy but what if that's never the same time?

2. Has anyone used earplugs...do they work?

3. What is the longest DC has cried?

4. Do you make going to bed a fun time...like it's an exciting thing to do or do you put DC down and say goodnight?

5. Did you notice that DC looked at you differently or acted differently with you the next morning? This is my worst fear

I have never let Rylan cry more than a few minutes and only if was doing something...never for no reason at all. I'm in tears typing this right now but I feel it's something we need to do. I've been saying I was going to start since Oct and haven't had the guts to go through with it. I know theres a million posts about this and i'm sure people are tired of answering questions about it but I would appreciate any advice you can give. This is really going to break my heart

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

1. How do you go about picking a bedtime if he's never had one? I know you should put them down drowsy but what if that's never the same time? Well, I think that you should probably pick a time that fits your schedule. Like DS goes to bed a little later (9-9:30) because that is when my house quiets down.

2. Has anyone used earplugs...do they work? Aww, but I don't think you'll need them in the long run

3. What is the longest DC has cried? My DS used to cry about a half an hour or so...but we could NOT go in there. He would freak out if he saw us and it would make it worse. I know some people do it that way, but it didn't work for us.

4. Do you make going to bed a fun time...like it's an exciting thing to do or do you put DC down and say goodnight? We kind of do both. I read to him, give him hugs, and put on the nightlight and he goes to sleep.

5. Did you notice that DC looked at you differently or acted differently with you the next morning? This is my worst fear Awww, don't stress out about that! He won't be mad or anything at you.

I hope it goes ok

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

I can't answer all the questions (DD always had a pretty consistent bedtime, etc) but we recently started CIO b/c she has started to not want to go to bed.

The most she has cried has been for about an hour. It was hard, but we had to do it. We did it for 3 nights - she cried for an hour, 45 minutes, and then about 15 minutes the 3rd night. The 4th and 5th nights, she fell right asleep. The 6th night (last night) she cried again, for about 20 minutes. We'll see what tonight holds!

And don't worry - each time, the following morning - DD does not remember a thing!!!!! She is completely fine the next day! It's much harder on us than it is on them!!

Good luck!

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Posted by KateDevine

1. How do you go about picking a bedtime if he's never had one? I know you should put them down drowsy but what if that's never the same time? Well, I think that you should probably pick a time that fits your schedule. Like DS goes to bed a little later (9-9:30) because that is when my house quiets down.

2. Has anyone used earplugs...do they work? Aww, but I don't think you'll need them in the long run

3. What is the longest DC has cried? My DS used to cry about a half an hour or so...but we could NOT go in there. He would freak out if he saw us and it would make it worse. I know some people do it that way, but it didn't work for us.

4. Do you make going to bed a fun time...like it's an exciting thing to do or do you put DC down and say goodnight? We kind of do both. I read to him, give him hugs, and put on the nightlight and he goes to sleep.

5. Did you notice that DC looked at you differently or acted differently with you the next morning? This is my worst fear Awww, don't stress out about that! He won't be mad or anything at you.

I hope it goes ok

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Posted by DmarieK

1. How do you go about picking a bedtime if he's never had one? I know you should put them down drowsy but what if that's never the same time?


You might want to work on setting a bedtime before doing CIO. I think that will help him adjust first.

2. Has anyone used earplugs...do they work?

Nope. I wanted to hear him so i made sure he didn't throw up.

3. What is the longest DC has cried?

An hour and 40 minutes. It was tough!

4. Do you make going to bed a fun time...like it's an exciting thing to do or do you put DC down and say goodnight?

Nope. We just rock him while giving his last bottle and then bedtime.

5. Did you notice that DC looked at you differently or acted differently with you the next morning? This is my worst fear

He woke up happy and smiling.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Posted by DmarieK

1. How do you go about picking a bedtime if he's never had one? I know you should put them down drowsy but what if that's never the same time?

What time is his last bottle/bath? I would try something maybe an hour after his last bottle/bath. This gives you a little time to start a bedtime routine whether it be snuggling/reading a book, etc.

2. Has anyone used earplugs...do they work?

Never tried. But I think no matter what you're going to hear him or be nervous with the earplugs that you're not hearing him.

3. What is the longest DC has cried?

A little over an hour.

4. Do you make going to bed a fun time...like it's an exciting thing to do or do you put DC down and say goodnight?

My routine is bath/bottle/snuggle on the couch and then I give him a kiss and put him in his crib. Luckily for me he is usually so tired, he just goes down without a peep.

5. Did you notice that DC looked at you differently or acted differently with you the next morning? This is my worst fear

No, DS has never looked at me any differently.

The only thing I have to say is that no matter what, these next few nights are going to be heartbreaking, you are going to cry more than he cries, but you have to stay strong and just stick to it.

If you don't, you'll just have to do it all over again, and it is just as heartbreaking each and every time.

Good Luck!!

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by DmarieK

1. How do you go about picking a bedtime if he's never had one? I know you should put them down drowsy but what if that's never the same time?


You might want to work on setting a bedtime before doing CIO. I think that will help him adjust first.

2. Has anyone used earplugs...do they work?

Nope. I wanted to hear him so i made sure he didn't throw up.

3. What is the longest DC has cried?

An hour and 40 minutes. It was tough!

4. Do you make going to bed a fun time...like it's an exciting thing to do or do you put DC down and say goodnight?

Nope. We just rock him while giving his last bottle and then bedtime.

5. Did you notice that DC looked at you differently or acted differently with you the next morning? This is my worst fear

He woke up happy and smiling.

CIO was hard, but well worth it. Jacen needed it because he was overtired all the time, that my happy baby wasn't happy anymore. Plus we realized he was waking out of habit and for comfort, not for hunger.

The first night he cried for an hour and 40 minutes. The 2nd night he didn't wake up.

If you're going to do it, commit to it 100% or it won't work. Once the door is shut, there is no going in there (ferber method made him more mad).

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Thanks for asking these questions Dawn. All the responses were very helpful... gives me some hope for when I try it out again. Did you get a separator/divider for Rylans crib so he doesn't see you guys?

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

I agree with the previous poster who said that you need to commit to it. It was VERY hard in the beginning - but it gets so much easier.

Does he nap during the day?

Every book that I've read says that sleep begets sleep - if he doesn't nap well during the day - he won't sleep as well during the night. A child needs a certain number of hours within a 24 hour period to not be overtired. Sometimes when Jack is thrown off with sleeping I actually make a sleep chart to total up how many hours he is sleeping over the course of a few days to try and get him back on track (crazy, I know!)

If he goes to bed at 10 - how long is he actually sleeping through the night? What time is he waking? At that age children should be getting between 11-13 hours total (including naps) I believe.

Have you read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - if not, I highly suggest you go out and purchase it. It will help you to better understand what children need - sleepwise - and at what age.

By purchasing the video monitor you are making your life so much easier. You will be able to tell when he really needs you - and when he's just faking it.

Jack is actually not drowsy when he goes down to sleep. We do the SAME exact things every night before bed. To the T. He gets a bath every other night so that really doesn't have much to do with the sleep routine. He goes in his sleepsack. We sing this certain song w/ his stuffed animals. We read the same book every night. We say our prayers and play the little angel, we turn on the sound machine, off the lamp, and dance together for one full song on the CD that plays. Then I put him down - I actually say the same things to him every night (out of habit I suppose) "I love you, sweet dreams, and I'll see you in the morning. Love you"

I think by doing the same thing over and over and over again they know what is coming up.

He has NEVER looked at me differently in the morning. He wakes up even happier then before - because he is well rested.

I hope I answered some of your questions!! Good luck - it's hard work but soooo sooo worth it in the end!

Message edited 1/2/2009 12:57:44 PM.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Posted by jambalady
I bathe DS every night. But he LOVES the bath!!

You don't necessarily have to start bathing him at night if that doesn't work for you, but I would definitely try to start some type of routine. Very clear steps that will indicate to Rylan that it is time to sleep.

Maybe try putting him in his PJ's, brushing his beautiful hair!! (my DS loves this), and then sitting with him somewhere quite, near his crib, and reading the same book to him every night.

I know some people take their DC and say goodnight to each room or thing in their house on the way to the crib . . .

But anything that is consistent every night.

A routine will trigger him that it is time to sleep.

That doesn't necessarily mean he will like it. For example, my DS screams bloody murder after the bath when I am putting him in his PJ's bc he KNOWS that his bottle is next, and then beddie-bye.

But once he is in his crib, he is okay.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

1. Before we did CIO Kaydyn went to sleep at all different times. When we started doing CIO we started a strict routine. We gave her a bath at 10pm, put on her pjs, gave her a bottle and put her in her crib. Within a few days she got used to this schedule and started to become drowsy/cranky around 10pm.

2. Never used ear plugs. We have a video monitor and we turn the picture on and sound down when she goes to sleep. One b/c she cries almost every night still (usually only for a few mins) and b/c we put a classical CD on for her. Once she's asleep and the CD is finished DH turns the sound up so we can hear her during the night. You might want to get them just in case he wakes up in the middle of the night since you are in the same room.

3. Bed time she adjusted relatively easily. She still cries every night and occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night and cries but usually it's only for a few mins. Nap time she has cried for almost an hour before she fell asleep.

4. We don't play around with her too much when we put her to sleep b/c we want her calm and relaxed. I will tickle her a little while putting pjs on but once she's had a bottle and we are going to put her to bed we turn down all the lights and talk quietly.

5. She has never looked at us or acted differently with us at all. She's actually a happier child b/c she is more rested. She did not sleep through the night until we did CIO at 8 months. Now she generally sleeps from 11pm-11:30am.

It's hard to hear them crying but it really is the best for both of you. Usually it's only a few days and they understand what is going on. We found that going in and trying to comfort Kaydyn didn't work. She got more upset when we would come in and when we would leave. So once she's in her crib we never go into her room. HTH!!

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Posted by 08BabySurprise

Posted by DmarieK

Posted by 08BabySurprise

Thanks for asking these questions Dawn. All the responses were very helpful... gives me some hope for when I try it out again. Did you get a separator/divider for Rylans crib so he doesn't see you guys?

No not yet. We will be sleeping in the livingroom for the first week or so and take it from there. His ped and a few others said not to bother with it but we'll see.

THAT'S GOOD!! I would imagine having something up around his crib that wasn't there before may freak him out more than anything. GOOD LUCK DAWN!!!!!

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.

Good luck Dawn!

Re: Please lend some advice for starting CIO.