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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Janice
Posted by Beth1210
so you agree with Domino that if you can't afford to be a SAHM mom- you shouldn't have kids?
everyones situation is different and everyone is entitled to make choices that they think are the best for them
not sure how you jumped to that....
based on what you said and chose to quote
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Posted 9/1/08 10:42 PM  |
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
I picked other. I think ONE parent should be home. Why have kids if you're going to have someone else raise them?
Has anyone close to you had a 2 parent working family? When you see a family in action and both parents are working, but both parents care about the kids, it does not seem like the person who provides child care while the parents are at work are raising the kids. In most situations, care providers do their jobs at the direction of the parents and with a strong presence from the parents. No one can replace me in my son's life and I certainly do not feel threatened by anyone. It is an interesting discussion, though.
Message edited 9/1/2008 10:44:53 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:43 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Janice
Posted by Beth1210
so you agree with Domino that if you can't afford to be a SAHM mom- you shouldn't have kids?
everyones situation is different and everyone is entitled to make choices that they think are the best for them
not sure how you jumped to that....
I don't think everyone could AFFORD to be a SAHM if they planned it.....unless they planned when they were going to have kids when they were in high school.
I have TONS of student loans that even if I drove a used car with no car payment and stayed living in my apartment I would STILL have to work and I took on those loans when I was 17 and decided to go to college......
I still voted no, as much as I will love spending time with my kids, I have spent too much money and time on school to quit my career all together
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:43 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
nm
Message edited 9/1/2008 10:45:24 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:44 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Janice
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by Domino
I picked other. I think ONE parent should be home. Why have kids if you're going to have someone else raise them?
b/c not everyone can afford to have one person stay home and live
but you have to believe that people chose a certain lifestyle. Not everyone has the choice to sah...but a lot of people could if they had planned on it before having their kids.
this is what I said and quoted...you said not everyone can sah...I agree...but if they wanted to, they may have to alter their lifestyle choices and that could give them the extra money to sah if they want to...
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:47 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
nm
wow- I am glad you took that down
I can tell you- my parents didn't have a boat or a luxury car to give up when I was born
they had a house
with no furniture- that they built at 27 with no help from anyone- as 2 teachers making $13K a year each
they had 25 cents after they closed and I came along 1 year later
they built this house in a good school district- knowing they would struggle a bit- but that it was worth it for their future kids to go to one of the best schools on Long Island
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:48 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Domino~ while I understand your point and respect your opinion (why edit?), I have to say that not all of us who work and have kids are driving around luxury cars and boats.
I am extremely lucky that with DH's shift work and my flexible schedule that we are able to share the childcare responsibilities. That said, if we couldn't and we needed daycare, there is no way that would stop me from having children.
I have huge debt in student loans- there is no way we'd make it on DH's salary alone- even if we moved.
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:51 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think Domino was just answering the question...its okay to have a different opinion.
some people hate when other's refer to a childcare provider "raising" their kid...
I cringe when I read quality not quantity....it always comes up in these sahm posts...like its taking away from the hours we dedicate day in and day out.
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| Posted 9/1/08 10:56 PM |
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Honestly, if I feel that it is important for my child to travel the world or to be involved in some expensive activities and I worked for that, who is anyone to question it? I'm just asking. If I felt that my child should see a Broadway play every weekend and that we should be members of every museum, and I worked for it, why should anyone stop me? I do have a problem with incredibly showy people and spoiled kids but I am not asking about people who work to show off material things. I'm asking about people who feel that there are finer things in life that they want to give to their kids. I know, there is a value to a simpler life but I don't think anyone should judge folks who want to work so that their children can enjoy culture and educational experiences.
Message edited 9/1/2008 11:02:09 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:01 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I took it down because I had a surgical procedure today and am a bit emotional and it was not fair of me to take my hormones out on people I'll rejoin debate tomorrow after i have had a rest and can play fair
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:14 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Nope.. why cant the man be home home with the kids?
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:15 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by reggie
I think that this woman should be home with her kids. Maybe her dd would not have gotten knocked up at the ripe age of 17!!
Why wouldn't you say the FATHER needs to be at home with those kids???
And to the original question, no I do not think that a mother needs to be at home with their children. No one tells a man he has to choose between a career and a family or that if he chooses to have a successful career that his priorities are not in place.
Women have as much right as a man does to be self-actualized beyond their role as a mother.
Message edited 9/1/2008 11:18:18 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:17 PM |
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lorimarie
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 3753 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I am a SAHM and while I'm lucky enough to do so I don't think I "need" to be here any more than my husband does.
I think parenting is a job for two people b/c in today's world its just not feasible or fair with so many parents both working to still lay all the responsibility on the woman.
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:18 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
I took it down because I had a surgical procedure today and am a bit emotional and it was not fair of me to take my hormones out on people I'll rejoin debate tomorrow after i have had a rest and can play fair
feel better
no hard feelings- 
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:19 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
ty
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:21 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
I took it down because I had a surgical procedure today and am a bit emotional and it was not fair of me to take my hormones out on people I'll rejoin debate tomorrow after i have had a rest and can play fair
Hey don't you and your homonal self shouldn't sweat it!!!
If the ladies of this board can't understand being emotional, well then heck who can??
I'm emotional and I don't even have an excuse!! 
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:24 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think this question is so hard to answer (but I know you did that on purpose Rach ).
It all depends on the dynamics of the family. Just like with most parenting questions, no two families will be able to live their lives the same way. You have to go by what works for you.
Like in MY situation, yes I believe that a woman should stay home, but the only woman I am talking about here is myself. I should stay home for now because it makes no sense for me to go back to work. I teach preschool. I dont make a lot of money and if I were to go back, I would still have to pay for my daughter to go there. So basically I would be paying for her to go to the school that I teach at for a little extra money a week. We are able to survive on my dh's paycheck but thats with being EXTREMELY frugal, with not many extras at all. I know that a house is way off in the future for us but its something that I just accept for now. My child isnt missing out on anything in life because she doesnt live in a house we own (for now anyway). And in OUR family situation, I am the best person to be home with my daughter. If roles were reversed, I can honestly say that I dont think my husband would be able to handle staying home with her. So I am happy that we live the life we live for now.
For US..and only for US..I believe the woman in this family (which is me of course) should be staying home with my daughter for these years before she starts school. Its just where I feel I should be right now. Although, I will be the first one to admit that I miss teaching with all my heart..I know that someday I will go back to it when the families dynamics change again...which I am sure they will.
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:37 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Should stay home? No. That's up to every woman and their situation. My mom was a SAHM and my parents struggled quite a bit growing up. But she wanted to stay home and raise her children. Things got easier once she started working from home. I would love to be a SAHM and be class mother and be as involved as my mom was for us and take care of my children, but financially that's not possible. In order for us to have the best life for our children, we both have to work. So just like my parents made sacrifices so my mom could stay at home, I have to sacrifice staying home in order for us to make ends meet and create a good life for our children.
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| Posted 9/1/08 11:42 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think ideally a parent should be home until say preschool with their kids and then be readily available after that when children are not in school. It doesn't necessarily have to be the woman though, why not a dady. That's not always possible and it's hardly a tragedy when it doesn't work out that way. Families do what works best for them.
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| Posted 9/2/08 12:22 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I find that there's rarely such thing as a SAHM versus a working mom straight and clean. Many "sahm's" that I know have so much "help" and spend so much time away from their kids at the gym and at manicures that I don't think they should pass themselves off as sahm's but should just tel people, "I'm a socialite," or a social climber or a lady who lunches...or whatever. On the other hand, many of the working moms I know have some sort of flex time or flexible schedule worked out when their kids are young. There is such a spectrum. You have to know individuals and see how much time they spend with their kids before you judge--there is such a spectrum, and the labels often don't "fit."
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| Posted 9/2/08 12:31 AM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Other.... Totally a personal decision that should be made by a couple.
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| Posted 9/2/08 1:32 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
ill never be able to stay at home unless dh makes what my salary provides, and then some. i dont think that is close to happening anytime soon.
i also dont think i could mentally handle staying home.. i worked hard to get where i am, i also need that social outlet. i also hate relying anyone else for income. i am very independant. the thought scares me. i like having my own money to spend and save as i please. staying home and giving that up would be like, to me, giving up my independance.
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| Posted 9/2/08 5:03 AM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I voted other. In these economic times and the times we live in, in general no one can say what is right or wrong for each family.
Sometimes staying home is not an option at all
Sometimes it's better that Dad stays home
Sometimes it's better for Mom to stay home
No one can dictate what is right for each family.
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| Posted 9/2/08 6:04 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Should....no
Maybe a better quesion would be should people butt out of other peoples personal affairs?
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| Posted 9/2/08 6:07 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Moehick
Should....no
Maybe a better quesion would be should people butt out of other peoples personal affairs?
Well if people did that, what the heck would we talk about?!
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| Posted 9/2/08 6:10 AM |
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