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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by julz33
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
Well then obviously you can't stay home.
But if there was a choice in the matter (financially able to stay home) I would. I think it is important for a child with a disability to have a parent home with them - from my own personal experience.
gotcha 
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Posted 9/2/08 9:12 AM  |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Stacey1403
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
But every woman should do what is best for her family.
When I was living at home. My neighbor across the street found herself pregnant at 44. She had a son with Downs syndrome. She and her DH owned a very successful business. She needed to be a part of that business for it to remain successful. When the baby was 6 weeks old he went to a school that specializes in children with Downs and other developmental problems. Because of him starting school with multiple therapies he is extremely high functioning. Now his Mom knew that she didn't have the training that these wonderful people had so I would say sometimes being home with "Mom" is not the best choice for a disabled child.
Like I said, every woman should do what is best for her family. Looks like she made the right decision.
But *I* would choose to stay home.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:12 AM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think you can only answer this question from your own personal experience- and because of that, the answer will vary.
I answered yes- but then thought I would feel better if the question was, "do you believe a parent should be at home with his/her kids"....
coming from being both a working mom and a SAHM I think for my daughter she is better served with me being home- and maybe it would be better for me to continue working, use my MBA instead of just paying back the loan, etc., but seeing the change in my daughter from the year that I was working and the year that I have been home has been dramatic.
Granted, when I worked I was out of the house 10-11 hours a day and didn't hardly spend any time with my DD. Given that- my daughter had excellent care in my home and was very happy, well taken care of, and stimulated...
honestly- trying to have it "all"- family & a career was exhausting..... I constantly felt tugged, pulled, and guilty.... guilty I wasn't giving my job enough, guilty I wasn't giving my family enough, etc.... so honestly, I'm happy to duck out of the work force for a while and not have to deal with the push & pull....
maybe it will be hard for me when I have to go back, maybe it won't- i just have to have faith that God will put me in the right direction.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:13 AM |
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thejohnsons
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 848 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by ejm1219
I think there is a huge difference between being home and being present in your child's life. And, I do think that its not just enough that the mother is present. The father must be a presence too.
Once I had her, I realized that my job didn't fit well with my family life, so I searched for a job that was more family friendly. Unfortunately, that is mostly a function of how anti-family this Country is, and how it doesn't provide the kind of flexibility and accomodation that young mothers require to keep working in ALL fields. I hope by the time my daughter is my age, it will be different.
But, really, it doesn't matter if one parent works, if both parents work or if neither parents work. What matters is that everyone involved is doing what makes THEM happy, and at the same time, providing a loving, supportive, nurturing environment to their children. I can speak from my own experience that it CAN be done with both parents working full-time.
Very well said!
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:13 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Stacey1403
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
But every woman should do what is best for her family.
When I was living at home. My neighbor across the street found herself pregnant at 44. She had a son with Downs syndrome. She and her DH owned a very successful business. She needed to be a part of that business for it to remain successful. When the baby was 6 weeks old he went to a school that specializes in children with Downs and other developmental problems. Because of him starting school with multiple therapies he is extremely high functioning. Now his Mom knew that she didn't have the training that these wonderful people had so I would say sometimes being home with "Mom" is not the best choice for a disabled child.
thanks for posting this. This is exactly what I was thinking. There are womderful skilled professionals that provide great therapies for these children. It really helps their development. Personally, I could never provide what they could provide. Not saying I wouldn't be around for my kid, just not in this sense.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:14 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I cannot believe how many yes responses there are
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:34 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think a woman should do what is best for her and her family.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:40 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by MrsPorkChop
ill never be able to stay at home unless dh makes what my salary provides, and then some. i dont think that is close to happening anytime soon.
i also dont think i could mentally handle staying home.. i worked hard to get where i am, i also need that social outlet. i also hate relying anyone else for income. i am very independant. the thought scares me. i like having my own money to spend and save as i please. staying home and giving that up would be like, to me, giving up my independance.
ITA - i need my own source of income.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:41 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by MrsPorkChop
ill never be able to stay at home unless dh makes what my salary provides, and then some. i dont think that is close to happening anytime soon.
i also dont think i could mentally handle staying home.. i worked hard to get where i am, i also need that social outlet. i also hate relying anyone else for income. i am very independant. the thought scares me. i like having my own money to spend and save as i please. staying home and giving that up would be like, to me, giving up my independance.
ITA - i need my own source of income.
I agree also.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:42 AM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by stephanief
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by MrsPorkChop
ill never be able to stay at home unless dh makes what my salary provides, and then some. i dont think that is close to happening anytime soon.
i also dont think i could mentally handle staying home.. i worked hard to get where i am, i also need that social outlet. i also hate relying anyone else for income. i am very independant. the thought scares me. i like having my own money to spend and save as i please. staying home and giving that up would be like, to me, giving up my independance.
ITA - i need my own source of income.
I agree also.
me too
I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing it was all on my DH
plus- I have cheaper health insurace- since he is 1099 an independent contractor
that alone makes it worth it for me to work - plus my 401K and other insuraces I carry for us
I believe that my decision to work will benefit my family in long run
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:46 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Nope. Although it won't be financially possible for us, I'd love to be.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:00 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I don't believe anyone SHOULD be anywhere they don't want to be -
So no, I don't think a woman 'SHOULD' be home with her kids just b/s he's a mother - .........
But I also don't think a MAN SHOULD have to work 18 hour days and 3 jobs and miss out on his kids' lives b/c his wife WANTS to stay at home -
JMO - people do what they feel is best for their family. I know some of my friends/family think I'm selfish b/c I could stay home if I wanted to once this baby is born - But I don't want to, and my DH doesn't want me to either - They have the right to think I'm selfish, or crazy, or greedy or - I dont' know, whatever they're thinking.......but I know I'm doing what I SHOULD do for my family b/c this is what is going to make everyone happy - And isn't that what is the most important thing? For your family to be happy?
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:08 AM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Domino
I picked other. I think ONE parent should be home. Why have kids if you're going to have someone else raise them?
Just because my child is in daycare, does not mean I am not raising her. Isn't there a saying, it takes a village to raise a child? We live in a very unique, unusual society where parents tend to raise their children in ever-increasing isolation, which goes against the grain of what humans have been doing for thousands of years, where it would be an extended network of women and children who all supported one another in raising their children. Daycare is the same thing.
Having someone assist you with your child does not mean they are RAISING your child - at the end of the day my daughter will ALWAYS know that I am mommy and that my husband is her daddy, and WE are the people who instlil values in her. At the same time, yes, she spends time with other people, but I see that as enrichment - activities with other children and adults that she just adores and loves, and teaches her how to bond with people other than just myself.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:16 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I had to say "Other" I think it's family's responsibility to make sure the children are cared for, whether that means mom is home, dad is home, grandma, great day care, whatever it is, BOTH parents are responsible for giving their child the best care.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:28 AM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by MarisaK
But I also don't think a MAN SHOULD have to work 18 hour days and 3 jobs and miss out on his kids' lives b/c his wife WANTS to stay at home -
Good point.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:36 AM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
For me, being a parent is the most important job I will ever have. I will have the privilege of shaping the life of an innocent being. I will have the joy of seeing my children grow and develop....I will see them take their first steps and speak their first words. I will teach them right from wrong. I will show them that they are the most loved and important thing in my life. I will be there for them emotionally for whatever they need. That I will put their needs before my own. That I will sacrifice some of my pleasures so that I can be there for them. For me the duty, privilege and obligation of raising a child is too important to deleagate to someone else. I chose my DH partly because we share the same morals beliefs and values. We agreed that we would impart these onto our future children. I dont trust others to do the full-time job for us. Currently I make more than DH. It will be very difficult to live only on his salary. I love what I do but for the first five years I will sacrifice and stay home with my children. Instead of paying daycare half my salary I will get a part-time job at night to help out. That way I will be home during the day and DH will be home at night. Will it be an adjustment? Yes. Will I have to stop buying things I have become accustomed to? yes. Will DH and I have to stop going out to dinners all the time? Yes. However my opinion is that material things come and go. Its the bond that children have with their family that endures. They dont NEED the 200 dollar sneakers, or the expensive vacations when they are four. I would rather take my children to disney when they remember it. I would much rather work part time and stay home with my children then pay someone to stay home and take care of my children. The question that was posed here was Should women stay home? My answer last night was other and my answer this morning is still other. Who is staying home with the children? A family member SHOULD be. I just didn't specify WHO. Will I be putting money into a college fund for them? Yes, I dont want them to have student loans. I have student loans and they suck. Will I work when they are in school? Yes. So, the luxuries will come when they can appreciate them. I cant think of any luxuries that my children need in their first five years of life other than the luxury of having their parents around.
It also goes without saying that this is what matters to ME. Everyone's circumstances are different.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:40 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
There is no "should".
I had a career (Elementary teacher) before having my first child.
I became a SAHM almost 7 years ago. Never regretted it.
I still have my double Master's and my license, should I ever decide to return to teaching.
I enjoy being a SAHM, it works for our family, and so it will continue this way.
Most of my friends are working moms. They are just as much a mother as I am, and vice versa.
Do what works for your family.
Period. The end. 
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:40 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by joenick
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
I think people are missing seaside's point - I also know a lot of women who 'call' themselves "Stay at Home Moms, or Home makers" - They are anything but!! - They're days are filled with shopping and lunch and day spas while the nanny or Grandma watches their kids - THESE women, seaside is saying, are NOT true SAHM's .....They're Mom's that don't do ANYTHING, they don't work outside the home, they don't care for their kids - they care for themselves and that's about all .........ALL the time (Not to say that any Mom doesn't need and deserve some "me" time) But there's a difference between a SAHM who's spending her days at the park or shopping or lunching WITH her kids, and the woman who's dumping her kids off on a daily basis to go about her social life ...........
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:50 AM |
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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
i believe a woman should do whats best for her and her family
but-i do believe a little more that a woman should be at home with her kids. i guess this is bc my mother was at SAHM....
BUT-the world today isnt what it was when i was younger...most people NEED 2 incomes to live
honestly tho, i dont know if i could not be w/my child the whole day...and this is a big factor w/me having kids...dont think we would be able to make it w/just one salary, and i wouldnt want to not be there the first few years of his/her life. but i keep going back n forth w/this decision
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:52 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by joenick
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
I think people are missing seaside's point - I also know a lot of women who 'call' themselves "Stay at Home Moms, or Home makers" - They are anything but!! - They're days are filled with shopping and lunch and day spas while the nanny or Grandma watches their kids - THESE women, seaside is saying, are NOT true SAHM's .....They're Mom's that don't do ANYTHING, they don't work outside the home, they don't care for their kids - they care for themselves and that's about all .........ALL the time (Not to say that any Mom doesn't need and deserve some "me" time) But there's a difference between a SAHM who's spending her days at the park or shopping or lunching WITH her kids, and the woman who's dumping her kids off on a daily basis to go about her social life ...........
what is the difference if a mother is dropping off her kids to go to work or dropping them off to shop? either way, the kids are being dropped off
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:54 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by joenick
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
I think people are missing seaside's point - I also know a lot of women who 'call' themselves "Stay at Home Moms, or Home makers" - They are anything but!! - They're days are filled with shopping and lunch and day spas while the nanny or Grandma watches their kids - THESE women, seaside is saying, are NOT true SAHM's .....They're Mom's that don't do ANYTHING, they don't work outside the home, they don't care for their kids - they care for themselves and that's about all .........ALL the time (Not to say that any Mom doesn't need and deserve some "me" time) But there's a difference between a SAHM who's spending her days at the park or shopping or lunching WITH her kids, and the woman who's dumping her kids off on a daily basis to go about her social life ...........
I have been a SAHM now for almost 7 years.
A chunk of my friends are also SAHMs.
Chunks of THEIR friends are SAHM's.
I have YET to meet a SAHM like that ones that were described.
And, I live in a pretty great neighborhood. Lots of my SAHM friends live in Garden City. So it's not even a point of finances that dictate what type of SAHM can live certain lifestyles.
Where are these SAHM's that you speak of? Because seriously, I have NEVER met them. I think that they are more of the "exception" than the rule.
And I have been around the SAHM block quite a few times. 
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:57 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Janice
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by joenick
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
I think people are missing seaside's point - I also know a lot of women who 'call' themselves "Stay at Home Moms, or Home makers" - They are anything but!! - They're days are filled with shopping and lunch and day spas while the nanny or Grandma watches their kids - THESE women, seaside is saying, are NOT true SAHM's .....They're Mom's that don't do ANYTHING, they don't work outside the home, they don't care for their kids - they care for themselves and that's about all .........ALL the time (Not to say that any Mom doesn't need and deserve some "me" time) But there's a difference between a SAHM who's spending her days at the park or shopping or lunching WITH her kids, and the woman who's dumping her kids off on a daily basis to go about her social life ...........
what is the difference if a mother is dropping off her kids to go to work or dropping them off to shop? either way, the kids are being dropped off
Please tell me that question/comment and are simply for the sake of arguing !! -
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| Posted 9/2/08 10:59 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by joenick
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
I think people are missing seaside's point - I also know a lot of women who 'call' themselves "Stay at Home Moms, or Home makers" - They are anything but!! - They're days are filled with shopping and lunch and day spas while the nanny or Grandma watches their kids - THESE women, seaside is saying, are NOT true SAHM's .....They're Mom's that don't do ANYTHING, they don't work outside the home, they don't care for their kids - they care for themselves and that's about all .........ALL the time (Not to say that any Mom doesn't need and deserve some "me" time) But there's a difference between a SAHM who's spending her days at the park or shopping or lunching WITH her kids, and the woman who's dumping her kids off on a daily basis to go about her social life ...........
MarisaK said it perfectly. & the difference between dropping your kids off to shop and dropping your kids off to work is the title/label SAHM. If you're gonna use the label, it should be accurate.
Message edited 9/2/2008 11:00:34 AM.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:00 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by seaside
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by joenick
ETA- to the poster "Seaside" (I believe). What TV shows are you watching that depict those SAHM's that are out "manicuring" and "lunching" every day?? You must introduce them to my group of SAHM friends, because we don't get out to do ANY of those things without 3 months of prior planning.
I think people are missing seaside's point - I also know a lot of women who 'call' themselves "Stay at Home Moms, or Home makers" - They are anything but!! - They're days are filled with shopping and lunch and day spas while the nanny or Grandma watches their kids - THESE women, seaside is saying, are NOT true SAHM's .....They're Mom's that don't do ANYTHING, they don't work outside the home, they don't care for their kids - they care for themselves and that's about all .........ALL the time (Not to say that any Mom doesn't need and deserve some "me" time) But there's a difference between a SAHM who's spending her days at the park or shopping or lunching WITH her kids, and the woman who's dumping her kids off on a daily basis to go about her social life ...........
MarisaK said it perfectly. & the difference between dropping your kids off to shop and dropping your kids off to work is the title/label SAHM. If you're gonna use the label, it should be accurate.
So wait...if you are a SAHM, you can't shop alone? EVER?
But if I was a working mom, I could go shopping, by myself, during my lunch break or after work.
That seems fair. 
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:02 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
etd for space
I'm glad you made the decision for what's right for you & your family.
As a working mom, I am still the one that has the privilege of shaping the life of my innocent (and sometimes not so innocent) children. You still get the job of seeing your child grow and develop, teaching them right from wrong, and showing them that they are the most loved and important things in my life.
If you were to ask my children who are the most important people in their lives, they would say "Mommy" first...then would add in "Daddy" too. You don't relegate the role of mommy out when you drop your child off at daycare.
It depends on the mom. If you're (not directing this toward *you*) a SAHM, who sits around watching soap operas & Oprah, sitting on the computer all day or parking your kid in front of a TV all day, no your child will not benefit from being with you. If you're going to do laundry & teach your children colors by helping them sort socks, bring them on playdates, go for walks, then yes, your child benefits.
Message edited 9/2/2008 11:04:22 AM.
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| Posted 9/2/08 11:04 AM |
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