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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
considering I am a ft working mom, I would say no
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Posted 9/2/08 7:17 AM  |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
I picked other. I think ONE parent should be home. Why have kids if you're going to have someone else raise them?
no one else is raising my dd, I HATE when people say that 
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:21 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by nrthshgrl
No I don't.
I voted other because it depends on the mom, the child and the family unit.
I do worry about SAHMs, their independence, their financial security. (Not to say that the only reason a person should work outside the home is finances.)
I think that is a great point Barb! I fully support educated women. I think one of the best gifts you can give your child is to see an independent, well educated mom  I have the power to pay my mortage(if I ever needed to) with my degree but right now I choose to only work a few hours a week. I planned it out that way though
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:21 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Janice
I think Domino was just answering the question...its okay to have a different opinion.
some people hate when other's refer to a childcare provider "raising" their kid...
I cringe when I read quality not quantity....it always comes up in these sahm posts...like its taking away from the hours we dedicate day in and day out.
and I feel it is taking away from what I do day in and day out when some say another is "raising" my child...that is just as hurtful
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:24 AM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by reggie
I think that this woman should be home with her kids. Maybe her dd would not have gotten knocked up at the ripe age of 17!!
Um, I don't see the point of being "home" with a child who spends all day at school and is subject to all sorts of influences, pressures, etc. Meaning, you give your child the best start and grounding you can but you have to be aware that once they step outside your door there's a world out there and they've got to make their own decisions.
To answer to original question - it completely depends on the woman, on the children, on the situation. I have a friend who was on maternity leave for 6 months and was DYING to go back to work. In her case, it's best for her child that she go to work, because she was not happy at home. I also think that for some children, daycare is actually a good thing as it provides interaction and socialization that a parent may not be able to provide on their own. I know people who are SAHM's who don't do very much to stimulate their child and I know children that enjoy daycare and are growing up to be happy and well-adjusted. So I think it goes both ways.
Personally, I hope to be able to stay home with my children until they are school age - although this might not be possible. To be honest, once they're in school, I see no reason for me to sit home and wait for them. I would try to work around their schedules when they're young.
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:39 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by ejm1219
I think there is a huge difference between being home and being present in your child's life. And, I do think that its not just enough that the mother is present. The father must be a presence too.
Agreed. I don't at all believe a woman's place is in the home with her children. Personally, my job brings me so much happiness, so much challenge and satisfaction that I would wither away if I would become a SAHM. And at the same time, I enjoy showing my daughter that she too can have a family AND a career one day.
That's not to say it doesn't involve some kind of compromise - before I had my daughter, I worked in a litigation firm. Once I had her, I realized that my job didn't fit well with my family life, so I searched for a job that was more family friendly. Unfortunately, that is mostly a function of how anti-family this Country is, and how it doesn't provide the kind of flexibility and accomodation that young mothers require to keep working in ALL fields. I hope by the time my daughter is my age, it will be different.
But, really, it doesn't matter if one parent works, if both parents work or if neither parents work. What matters is that everyone involved is doing what makes THEM happy, and at the same time, providing a loving, supportive, nurturing environment to their children. I can speak from my own experience that it CAN be done with both parents working full-time.
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| Posted 9/2/08 7:57 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Domino
I picked other. I think ONE parent should be home. Why have kids if you're going to have someone else raise them?
Just because my child is in daycare, does not mean I am not raising her. Isn't there a saying, it takes a village to raise a child? We live in a very unique, unusual society where parents tend to raise their children in ever-increasing isolation, which goes against the grain of what humans have been doing for thousands of years, where it would be an extended network of women and children who all supported one another in raising their children. Daycare is the same thing.
Having someone assist you with your child does not mean they are RAISING your child - at the end of the day my daughter will ALWAYS know that I am mommy and that my husband is her daddy, and WE are the people who instlil values in her. At the same time, yes, she spends time with other people, but I see that as enrichment - activities with other children and adults that she just adores and loves, and teaches her how to bond with people other than just myself.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:15 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
i believe a woman should be where SHE deems best for her family.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:23 AM |
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reggie
I love my boys!!
Member since 5/05 8044 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by stickydust
Posted by reggie
I think that this woman should be home with her kids. Maybe her dd would not have gotten knocked up at the ripe age of 17!!
Why wouldn't you say the FATHER needs to be at home with those kids???
And to the original question, no I do not think that a mother needs to be at home with their children. No one tells a man he has to choose between a career and a family or that if he chooses to have a successful career that his priorities are not in place.
Women have as much right as a man does to be self-actualized beyond their role as a mother.
Oh jesus. I was kidding. You missed my whole post. Underneath my post I put a pic of Sarah Palin. Don't you see my winks ??
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:27 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by browneyedgirl
i believe a woman should be where SHE deems best for her family.
THANK YOU...I am so sick of this back and forth SAHM, working mom sh!t...do what is best for your family, period 
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:34 AM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by seaside
I find that there's rarely such thing as a SAHM versus a working mom straight and clean. Many "sahm's" that I know have so much "help" and spend so much time away from their kids at the gym and at manicures that I don't think they should pass themselves off as sahm's but should just tel people, "I'm a socialite," or a social climber or a lady who lunches...or whatever. On the other hand, many of the working moms I know have some sort of flex time or flexible schedule worked out when their kids are young. There is such a spectrum. You have to know individuals and see how much time they spend with their kids before you judge--there is such a spectrum, and the labels often don't "fit."
Oh Boy...you don't have kids do you????
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:38 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
me personally? no.
but i can 100% understand why some women (and men) feel that a woman should stay at home with her kids and not be at work.
ETA: the only problem i have is when other people try and "convert" a mother's approach to parenting.
my own supervisor has suggested that i stay at home when  is born, if only for a year or so... not understanding that for some people that is just not financially possible.
and the problem is, that's not even the point. some women find it very fulfilling to balance a full time job and family, and so long as their children aren't abused or neglected, i just don't see what the problem is. day cares and schools exist for a reason.
Message edited 9/2/2008 8:44:15 AM.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:40 AM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
But every woman should do what is best for her family.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:43 AM |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
I think you do what is right for you and your family. I chose my career in part so I could be more a part of my kids life and be home when they will be home once (I have them) and they go to school.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:44 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:45 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
exactly...imho, my first priority is to provide food, clothing and shelter for my child...I HAVE to work to so that 
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:46 AM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
Well then obviously you can't stay home.
But if there was a choice in the matter (financially able to stay home) I would. I think it is important for a child with a disability to have a parent home with them - from my own personal experience.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:50 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by julz33
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
Well then obviously you can't stay home.
But if there was a choice in the matter (financially able to stay home) I would. I think it is important for a child with a disability to have a parent home with them - from my own personal experience.
But the child has a FATHER. Why isn't the dad staying at home "good enough"? Why must it be the mom?
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:56 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by julz33
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
Well then obviously you can't stay home.
But if there was a choice in the matter (financially able to stay home) I would. I think it is important for a child with a disability to have a parent home with them - from my own personal experience.
I see what you are saying, but at the same time, this is such a deeply personal choice, and I cringe when I think that anyone would judge a woman's decision to continue working when she has a child with a disability.
I cannot imagine because I'm not living this situation, but I would think that raising a child with a disability is very demanding, challenging and difficult, and I could see a woman really losing herself in the battle. While giving your children the time, attention and love that they need is absolutely essential, what's also essential is that a woman is able to maintain herself in the craziness of motherhood, particularly a motherhood experience that can be so challenging.
While I really don't know what choice I would make in this situation, I do know that I can understand both sides, and I can understand COMPLETELY why a woman would feel like she needs some kind of outlet, or some piece of her life that is still her own.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:56 AM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Shelly
Posted by julz33
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
Well then obviously you can't stay home.
But if there was a choice in the matter (financially able to stay home) I would. I think it is important for a child with a disability to have a parent home with them - from my own personal experience.
But the child has a FATHER. Why isn't the dad staying at home "good enough"? Why must it be the mom?
Hold on - I NEVER said the father is not good enough. Read what I wrote above - I said PARENT.
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| Posted 9/2/08 8:58 AM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by MrsR
Posted by seaside
I find that there's rarely such thing as a SAHM versus a working mom straight and clean. Many "sahm's" that I know have so much "help" and spend so much time away from their kids at the gym and at manicures that I don't think they should pass themselves off as sahm's but should just tel people, "I'm a socialite," or a social climber or a lady who lunches...or whatever. On the other hand, many of the working moms I know have some sort of flex time or flexible schedule worked out when their kids are young. There is such a spectrum. You have to know individuals and see how much time they spend with their kids before you judge--there is such a spectrum, and the labels often don't "fit."
Oh Boy...you don't have kids do you????
All I can say in response to that question is that I have seen enough examples of true SAHM's, who really spend most to all of each day with their children to know that a lot of other people who purport to be SAHM's actually have so much "assistance" that they have freed up their time by not working--but spend it on their own maintenance and care instead. The title, in those cases, becomes a misnomer. The SAHM thing is not for me--I know this, but it's a noble choice and title that should be earned, not gven by default because one doesn't have a job. I don't know the ladies on this board in real life, so I assume that anyone who calls herself a SAHM is one. I've just been surprised about how a few of the people that I do know in real life actually spend most of their days "at home". As I said, it's a complete range re: how much time actually goes to the kids, and people run the gamut. Hope that clarifies!
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:04 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Before I was a mom, I would say that I wanted to go back to work.
Once I had DD, I never wanted to leave her, ever.
I had to go back pt, for financial reasons. So I am still home during the day, and Dh his home at nihgt.
I think your thinking changes once you have kids.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:06 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by julz33
Posted by Shelly
But the child has a FATHER. Why isn't the dad staying at home "good enough"? Why must it be the mom?
Hold on - I NEVER said the father is not good enough. Read what I wrote above - I said PARENT.
I guess we agree then. Sorry.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:06 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
But every woman should do what is best for her family.
When I was living at home. My neighbor across the street found herself pregnant at 44. She had a son with Downs syndrome. She and her DH owned a very successful business. She needed to be a part of that business for it to remain successful. When the baby was 6 weeks old he went to a school that specializes in children with Downs and other developmental problems. Because of him starting school with multiple therapies he is extremely high functioning. Now his Mom knew that she didn't have the training that these wonderful people had so I would say sometimes being home with "Mom" is not the best choice for a disabled child.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:07 AM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Poll: Do you believe a woman should be at home with her kids?
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by julz33
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by julz33
I think it depends on the situation. If I had a child with a disability I would feel it was my duty to stay home and take care of him/her.
what if, financially, you couldn't afford to do this?
Well then obviously you can't stay home.
But if there was a choice in the matter (financially able to stay home) I would. I think it is important for a child with a disability to have a parent home with them - from my own personal experience.
I see what you are saying, but at the same time, this is such a deeply personal choice, and I cringe when I think that anyone would judge a woman's decision to continue working when she has a child with a disability.
I cannot imagine because I'm not living this situation, but I would think that raising a child with a disability is very demanding, challenging and difficult, and I could see a woman really losing herself in the battle. While giving your children the time, attention and love that they need is absolutely essential, what's also essential is that a woman is able to maintain herself in the craziness of motherhood, particularly a motherhood experience that can be so challenging.
While I really don't know what choice I would make in this situation, I do know that I can understand both sides, and I can understand COMPLETELY why a woman would feel like she needs some kind of outlet, or some piece of her life that is still her own.
*I* would feel the need to stay home with a child with a disability. I do not judge parents who can't afford to stay home, or choose not to - it is their life and their child. I said this above, but it got deleted fromn the quotes
Posted by julz33
But every woman should do what is best for her family. [/QUOTE
But from what I have seen in my life, *I* would stay home if I had the choice.
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| Posted 9/2/08 9:09 AM |
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