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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by brownie
Posted by dm24angel
If the mother felt it wasnt being taken seriously by the school , you go back to the school or bus company about it. You demand a new bus route, a video of bullying/touching etc be shown. You act like a PARENT and teach teache teach...not run to the police to have them handle this. Not right. I just cannot see this as right.
What does the bus company have to do with it? It's the school district...
She said they can't see that much on the video because it was not visible/blocked by the seats
I still think a sit down w/all parties involved would be best
If the mother felt it wasnt being taken seriously as she said...then before going to police, wouldnt the civil and teaching opportunity be to get more cameras on the bus, adjust them, get a matron for the younger kids, have the bus driver taught something. IDK... I feel like passing the buck wouldnt help. This happened on the bus, take responsibility and fix things.
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Posted 9/23/11 1:51 PM  |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Really need some insight
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:51 PM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by nferrandi
I just called the officer again to kind of clear my mind. He said he got the impression that the mother felt the school wasn't supporting her enough. From what I know from the principal and vice principal, they spoke to the mom the morning she came in. Then they spoke to her again that evening at back to school night and told her though they can tell my son was bothering her daughter, that there was no visual of him touching her inappropriately and that the children would be seperated on the bus. Maybe she felt they weren't taking it serious enough, who knows. The officer did say that if she was to try to take this any further, like to court, there is really nothing she can do to us. There is no proof my son did anything. He also said to call him back if she does try to go any further with this.
Back to the older boys, it was claimed that they egged him on by the girls mom. The video doesn't show that. My DS says they laughed a little but weren't overly involved, as the mom claimed. The older boys patents have been spoken to as well and are in no more or less trouble then DS from what I know.
So instead of trying to work out a solution that was palatable to all involved, she has gone on an apparent witch hunt against your DS. One that includes added details NOT supported by video evidence.... the video does NOT show any type of inappropriate touching. It does NOT show her being held down. It does NOT show her DD being taunted or egged on by the other boys.
Sorry, but what is she looking for here? It sounds like the only thing she would accept is full expulsion of your DS from school which is not necessary in this situation.
I stand by my original assessment. She needs a GAB.
And I think some of the replies here are over reaching based on the evidence offered. There is video evidence that doesn't support what the girl's mother claims. Let's try to be a little compassionate to the OP, mmmk?
This could very well be ANY one of us in her position, for something as innocent as a hug. There was a 6 year old in Philadephia that was expelled for touching his teacher's THIGH to comfort her after the teacher said her legs hurt. There was that story of the young kid, maybe K or 1st grade, suspended for kissing another child. Is this how we want things???? Really?
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:51 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Really need some insight
My son will be 5 the end of next month, so he is the youngest in his class. As far as the touching it was said by both the girl and my son that he was pulling on her shirt. Not pulling it up, just pulling at it. It was also said by both kids that he touched her on her pants- no ****** grabbing. My son was very honest with the principal as he didn't know he had done something so wrong. So obviously doing something sexual was NOT his intent. He thought he was playing. I agree it was inappropriate, I have never once said otherwise.
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:52 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by jacquig
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
seriously..the poor boy will end up needing therapy in this situation.
The whole thing boils down to age.
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:54 PM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by jacquig
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
ITA
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:55 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by nferrandi
My son will be 5 the end of next month, so he is the youngest in his class. As far as the touching it was said by both the girl and my son that he was pulling on her shirt. Not pulling it up, just pulling at it. It was also said by both kids that he touched her on her pants- no ****** grabbing. My son was very honest with the principal as he didn't know he had done something so wrong. So obviously doing something sexual was NOT his intent. He thought he was playing. I agree it was inappropriate, I have never once said otherwise.
I would sit down with the mom and get her version, or at the very least call her. Because for all you know, the daughter told her mother a different story about the touching, which is perhaps why the mother reacted the way she did.
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:55 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by tarabelle99
... the video does NOT show any type of inappropriate touching. It does NOT show her being held down. It does NOT show her DD being taunted or egged on by the other boys.
It doesn't show anything, so no one knows what did or did not happen
at least that's what I thought I read above
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:56 PM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by nferrandi
As for calling a meeting with all parents involved, I had mentioned that and school didn't seem to want to do that. I guess they were trying to protect identities as much as possible. I will inquire again, as I would be happy to sit down and set the record straight.
I wonder if the school saw her as possibly irrational and didn't want to put you in the situation. She may have been making demands of them that are over the top or downright insane. I wonder if they've dealt with her before.. maybe an older sibling or something?
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:56 PM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
I know you said in one of your earlier posts that the officer mentioned to you that it seemed like the mother was more upset about the older boys... so I was thinking... as a mother to a DD there would be a big difference in how I would react if she came home upset that a 4 year old boy was bothering her AND 3 boys - 2 of with are older and 'egging' the little one on. Who knows, maybe even telling him what to do.
Look, your son is 4!!! There is no harm meant by him and you never know -maybe the mother of the girl knows that but is more ****** off/concerned about the fact that 'older boys' were involved. And maybe she had to file against all 3 boys so your son just got wrapped up into it??
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:57 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by jacquig
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
seriously..the poor boy will end up needing therapy in this situation.
The whole thing boils down to age.
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
7? 8? 16?
I stand by my original statement that if I were that mother, and was not happy with what the school was doing about the situation, I would too want some kind of police report as well. As Curley said earlier, the mother of the little girl has NO idea wh at kind of background the boy is coming from and is protecting her own child just as the OP wants to protect hers. I am SURE there was no "interrogating" going on with a 4 year old. There were 3 boys involved here, not just the 4 year old.
No means no, not just when someone is being raped, but ANYTIME someone is being touched and does not want to be. I tell that to my children all the time... when someone says stop, or says no, then HANDS OFF
Message edited 9/23/2011 2:00:13 PM.
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:58 PM |
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by nferrandi
As for calling a meeting with all parents involved, I had mentioned that and school didn't seem to want to do that. I guess they were trying to protect identities as much as possible. I will inquire again, as I would be happy to sit down and set the record straight.
you will not be able to set any record straight with a wacko, a lesson my mother learned the hard way way back when i was going to school...
i, along with a friend, was being bullied by a girl at school and my mother suggested a meeting like others are describing. all parties agreed and a meeting was held. well, the grandmother of the bully showed up and started talking all sorts of garbage, crying racism, yadda yadda yadda. all my mother wanted to do was discuss the matter like mature adults, and try to help all children involved. yeah, doesn't happen that way...
i would only approach a parent if i knew them or knew someone who knew them. not knowing anyone i would let the school handle it, since that seem the way things are to be handled these days.
people are nuts. it's really sad.
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| Posted 9/23/11 1:58 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by MrsGmomof3
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
he is 4. Not sure what the cut off is but I am sure 4 is not an age where the police should be concerned, esp about such a QUESTIONABLE situation as this one.
So if you had 2 year old in daycare and he would try to kiss or tug at other 2 year olds, would you want the cops called on him?
Let's stick with 4, not look to down the line. THIS child is 4 and the truth is NOT known.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:01 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by jacquig
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
seriously..the poor boy will end up needing therapy in this situation.
The whole thing boils down to age.
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
7? 8? 16?
I stand by my original statement that if I were that mother, and was not happy with what the school was doing about the situation, I would too want some kind of police report as well. As Curley said earlier, the mother of the little girl has NO idea wh at kind of background the boy is coming from and is protecting her own child just as the OP wants to protect hers.
No means no, not just when someone is being raped, but ANYTIME someone is being touched and does not want to be. I tell that to my children all the time... when someone says stop, or says no, then HANDS OFF
I'm sorry but common sense dictates that a 4 year old has a VERY different capacity of thinking then a 7 or 8 year old. DD will be 4 in November...there is NO WAY that she would MALICIOUSLY touch someone inapproriately. No way.They don't even grasp that concept and don't even have the capacity to think that way at that age. I have yet to meet a 4 year old that has that type of capacity. Most 4 year olds are barely able to wipe their own assses yet alone molest or harass someone.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:03 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by Goobster
Posted by MrsGmomof3
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
he is 4. Not sure what the cut off is but I am sure 4 is not an age where the police should be concerned, esp about such a QUESTIONABLE situation as this one.
So if you had 2 year old in daycare and he would try to kiss or tug at other 2 year olds, would you want the cops called on him?
Let's stick with 4, not look to down the line. THIS child is 4 and the truth is NOT known.
But there was not just a 4 year old involved... there were other boys who were older involved as well. If I had a 2 year old in daycare, then he/she would be with other 2 year olds. Not with 2 year olds and 8 year olds manipulating the situation. You cannot compare a busload full of kids from kindergarten through 6th grade with a controlled daycare setting.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:06 PM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by MrsGmomof3
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
IMO when the child in question is able to understand what he is doing is wrong. When it is expected of their age group to be able to mentally process the information, to understand the consequences of their actions etc. This is going to be different from child to child. Is there an age where it is accepted that the majority of the group is mentally capable of this? Probably, but I'm not an expert so I can't say, but I do know that 4 isn't it.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:06 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Really need some insight
I do not know the mom or child. She is in first grade from what I know, DS is in kindergarten. If the school doesn't think a meeting is in order, maybe they know something I don't.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:07 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by jacquig
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by jacquig
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
seriously..the poor boy will end up needing therapy in this situation.
The whole thing boils down to age.
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
7? 8? 16?
I stand by my original statement that if I were that mother, and was not happy with what the school was doing about the situation, I would too want some kind of police report as well. As Curley said earlier, the mother of the little girl has NO idea wh at kind of background the boy is coming from and is protecting her own child just as the OP wants to protect hers.
No means no, not just when someone is being raped, but ANYTIME someone is being touched and does not want to be. I tell that to my children all the time... when someone says stop, or says no, then HANDS OFF
I'm sorry but common sense dictates that a 4 year old has a VERY different capacity of thinking then a 7 or 8 year old. DD will be 4 in November...there is NO WAY that she would MALICIOUSLY touch someone inapproriately. No way.They don't even grasp that concept and don't even have the capacity to think that way at that age. I have yet to meet a 4 year old that has that type of capacity. Most 4 year olds are barely able to wipe their own assses yet alone molest or harass someone.
There is a big difference in a newly 4 year old and a child that will be 5 in a month. Some of the behavior and language I've seen from kids in kindergarten is  so they aren't all innocent. Not saying this is the case for this particular child though!
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:09 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by jacquig
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by jacquig
Some of the posts here scare the ever loving crap out of me because apparently there are a lot of over the top parents. I thought I could be over the top but I would NEVER dream of calling the cops on a 4 year old when it was ONE incident that was addressed by all parties. I seriously can't believe that people actually think it's OK to call the cops on a 4 year old when ALL necessary steps have been taken and everyone has been spoken too.
IMO if the Mom felt that uncomfortable then she has options...either change your childs school or drive her to school. She still feels its OK to send her DD on a bus yet she feels like it was necessary to call the cops on a 4 year old? Where is the logic in that.
Serioulsy the cops people...do you understand how scary it would be for a 4 year old to see a cop on their doorstep or how scary it would be for them to be interrogated by a cop?
4 years old...4. Are people reading that? He's not 11 or 12 or even 8 he's 4!! The cops...I just can't
Nicole...I'm so sorry you guys are going through this
seriously..the poor boy will end up needing therapy in this situation.
The whole thing boils down to age.
So what is the "cut off" then... WHEN does this cross from "He is only 4 and had no idea what he was doing" to a serious situation that would require one to contact the authorities?
7? 8? 16?
I stand by my original statement that if I were that mother, and was not happy with what the school was doing about the situation, I would too want some kind of police report as well. As Curley said earlier, the mother of the little girl has NO idea wh at kind of background the boy is coming from and is protecting her own child just as the OP wants to protect hers.
No means no, not just when someone is being raped, but ANYTIME someone is being touched and does not want to be. I tell that to my children all the time... when someone says stop, or says no, then HANDS OFF
I'm sorry but common sense dictates that a 4 year old has a VERY different capacity of thinking then a 7 or 8 year old. DD will be 4 in November...there is NO WAY that she would MALICIOUSLY touch someone inapproriately. No way.They don't even grasp that concept and don't even have the capacity to think that way at that age. I have yet to meet a 4 year old that has that type of capacity. Most 4 year olds are barely able to wipe their own assses yet alone molest or harass someone.
I am assuming here that the police were called in because there were 3 boys bothering the girl and possibly touching her correct?
a group of boys touches a girl after she says no... schools answer does not satisfy the girls parents... it is their right to contact the authorities.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:09 PM |
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Mrs-Boop
My Babies
Member since 5/05 4956 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: Really need some insight
I think it was a little far fetched to run to the police before exploring all other options (talking to all parents). It was one incident and all parties were reprimanded, mom put the girl back on the bus, problem solved. I am sorry, but the first thing that runs into my mind in the sue happy country is lawsuit against the school for emotional damage sustained to her daughter.
What happened to kids being kids. He was messing around, teasing her. Who was not ever teased by another child when they were younger. Its sort of a rite of passage of growing up. Why didn't this girl stand up right there or yell to the bus driver, because honestly it probably didn't phase her all that much. This could have been a good lesson for all, she could have taught her daughter how to stand up for herself.
Honestly, I would not mention this again to your son. He has been reprimanded by the school, you and your DH and that is it. Hoepfully, he will have learned his lesson and nothing like this will ever occur again. I would drop it as far as him hearing anything else about it. He is a kid and needs to go back to playing!!!!
eta- and as far as going to the police to have a record of the incident, the school already keeps records of incidents, no need to involve police.
Message edited 9/23/2011 2:13:16 PM.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:10 PM |
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Re: Really need some insight
On a seperate note thank you NICOLE for sharing and reminding ALL of us to talk to our children about inappropriate touching, and bullying, as it can be misconstrued by children. I WILL be having this conversation with Teddy again tonight. We have had the convo of "NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOUR NO NO SPOT with exception to mommy and daddy" but we haven't had the conversation about touching other people in any kind of way other than the pushing and hitting portion! I hope that some how things work themselves out.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:11 PM |
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memi7206
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2355 total posts
Name:
Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: Really need some insight
I dont know - I dont think this other mom is a wacko or crazy. I think her little girl came home, upset that she was bullied by 3 boys on the bus - the fact that she was bullied is known for sure and seen on the video. There are allegations of alleged inappropriate touching after her daughter said no - NO ONE knows for sure if that happened or not (despite not understanding the gravity of his actions, if it did) bc it cant be seen. No one knows what the school told this mother - so maybe she was afraid for her daughter felt the school didnt react as she would deem appropriately and went to the police - NOT to criminalize a 4 year old (nowhere did I see anyone say they cops interrogated Nicoles son) but to have backup should this continue and she feel the school not take it seriously enough. I think she is a mother fiercely protecting her little girl, maybe not in the way you would, but in a way, she felt offered them the most protection. Based on what Nicole said the officer said after their second conversation, that sounds more like her motivation rather than to criminalize and terrorize a 4 year old.
I dont think advocating for your protection or the protection of your child when they are in harms way or are claiming they were touched against their will ANYWHERE on their body that made them uncomfortable makes her a wacko, or crazy or an overreacting parent or teaches your child to overreact. I think it teaches them that no means no, no matter the intent (harmless or not) and that she can always come to you and you will always be in her corner and trust her word if you have no reason not too. Maybe she was just a mom, with a little girl, in her first foray into the real world, in her first month of kindergarten only to have this happen and was scared for her daughter and reacted so strongly out of a need to do everything she could think of to protect her since at least in one way or another she WAS harmed.
I do feel so bad for Nicoles son bc I dont believe for a second he understood the gravity of his actions, but I can also see how the mother of that little girl reacted the way she did.
Maybe she is crazy or maybe she is just a mom, scared for her little girl doing everything should could think of to protect her. It s#cks all around for everyone.
Message edited 9/23/2011 2:17:06 PM.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:11 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by memi7206
I dont know - I dont think this other mom is a wacko or crazy. I think her little girl came home, upset that she was bullied by 3 boys on the bus - the fact that she was bullied is known for sure and seen on the video. There are allegations of alleged inappropriate touching after her daughter said no - NO ONE knows for sure if that happened or not (despite not understanding the gravity of his actions, if it did) bc it cant be seen. No one knows what the school told this mother - so maybe she was afraid for her daughter felt the school didnt react as she would deem appropriately and went to the police - NOT to criminalize a 4 year old (nowhere did I see anyone say they cops interrogated Nicoles son) but to have backup should this continue and she feel the school not take it seriously enough. I think she is a mother fiercely protecting her little girl, maybe not in the way you would, but in a way, she felt offered them the most protection. Based on what Nicole said the officer said after their second conversation, that sounds more like her motivation rather than to criminalize and terrorize a 4 year old.
I dont think advocating for your protection or the protection of your child when they are in harms way or are claiming they were touched against their will ANYWHERE on their body that made them uncomfortable makes her a wacko, or crazy or an overreacting parent or teaches your child to overreact. I think it teaches them that no means no, no matter the intent (harmless or not) and that she can always come to you and you will always be in her corner and trust her word if you have no reason not too. Maybe she was just a mom, with a little girl, in her first foray into the real world, in her first month of kindergarten only to have this happen and was scared for her daughter and reacted so strongly out of a need to do everything she could think of to protect her since at least in one way or another she WAS harmed.
I do feel so bad for Nicoles son bc I dont believe for a second he understood the gravity of his actions, but I can also see how the mother of that little girl reacted the way she did.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:13 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by CookieMomster
On a seperate note thank you NICOLE for sharing and reminding ALL of us to talk to our children about inappropriate touching, and bullying, as it can be misconstrued by children. I WILL be having this conversation with Teddy again tonight. We have had the convo of "NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH YOUR NO NO SPOT with exception to mommy and daddy" but we haven't had the conversation about touching other people in any kind of way other than the pushing and hitting portion! I hope that some how things work themselves out.
We have this coloring book that I got from one of those kid fair things, and I think it's great!
http://www.kidpower.org/resources/coloring-book.html
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:14 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Really need some insight
Posted by tarabelle99
Posted by nferrandi
As for calling a meeting with all parents involved, I had mentioned that and school didn't seem to want to do that. I guess they were trying to protect identities as much as possible. I will inquire again, as I would be happy to sit down and set the record straight.
That's not acceptable! The minute the police were called and your son got a file it just took things to another level. If they cannot grant you a meeting I'm sure the school board will be more then happy to after some phone calls  You are entitled to a meeting of all parties involved.
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| Posted 9/23/11 2:14 PM |
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