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HollaGirl
Merry Christmas !!!
Member since 10/06 3308 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I do not want to be a SAHM. I like working to much, and working for me, is my way of contributing to the life my husband and I live. My husband already works his a$$ off so we can have the things we have. If I stopped working, he would work twice as hard, and that is not fair to him. My ideal situation would be to work Part Time for the first year, then go back to work full time.
What is so bad about day care? Children THRIVE at daycare. They learn how to play with other children, share, read, etc. Not saying I couldnt teach my child that, but quite honestly, it is worth the money for me to drop my son/daughter off, to play with other children all day, and have a good time, then for me to sit home all day with him/her.
And I may be selfish, but I am not going to drive a jaloppi, just to have a child, or move away from my family, to have a child. Why would I take my kid away from my family?
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Posted 10/11/06 7:05 PM  |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by HollaGirl
I do not want to be a SAHM. I like working to much, and working for me, is my way of contributing to the life my husband and I live. My husband already works his a$$ off so we can have the things we have. If I stopped working, he would work twice as hard, and that is not fair to him. My ideal situation would be to work Part Time for the first year, then go back to work full time.
What is so bad about day care? Children THRIVE at daycare. They learn how to play with other children, share, read, etc. Not saying I couldnt teach my child that, but quite honestly, it is worth the money for me to drop my son/daughter off, to play with other children all day, and have a good time, then for me to sit home all day with him/her.
And I may be selfish, but I am not going to drive a jaloppi, just to have a child, or move away from my family, to have a child. Why would I take my kid away from my family?
Not saying there is anything wrong with your thinking but you might be surprised how your feelings change once you are pregnant and have a baby of your own. Maybe they won't change and that's fine too. I was amazed at how much my thinking on a lot of things changed when I had my DD, actually once I got pregnant.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:07 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by monkeybride
Posted by HollaGirl
I do not want to be a SAHM. I like working to much, and working for me, is my way of contributing to the life my husband and I live. My husband already works his a$$ off so we can have the things we have. If I stopped working, he would work twice as hard, and that is not fair to him. My ideal situation would be to work Part Time for the first year, then go back to work full time.
What is so bad about day care? Children THRIVE at daycare. They learn how to play with other children, share, read, etc. Not saying I couldnt teach my child that, but quite honestly, it is worth the money for me to drop my son/daughter off, to play with other children all day, and have a good time, then for me to sit home all day with him/her.
And I may be selfish, but I am not going to drive a jaloppi, just to have a child, or move away from my family, to have a child. Why would I take my kid away from my family?
Not saying there is anything wrong with your thinking but you might be surprised how your feelings change once you are pregnant and have a baby of your own. Maybe they won't change and that's fine too. I was amazed at how much my thinking on a lot of things changed when I had my DD, actually once I got pregnant.
true
BUT regardless of how someone's feelings would change..
their life choices haven't..
so in that...their feelings are kinda secondary...
If you have to work....you have to work..
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:10 PM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
well ...Michi made a HUGE generalization and almost an accusation...that for the people who HAVE to work to afford their LIFE STYLE CHOICE....are making some excuse
if i think that--and pple dont like it..tuff sh*t..no offense im not flaming u persay but my generalization was my opinion! every1s opinion is in fact there take on the subject therefore a general comment AS THEY SEE IT...
lets move on pple..
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:11 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by muchinluvmichi
well ...Michi made a HUGE generalization and almost an accusation...that for the people who HAVE to work to afford their LIFE STYLE CHOICE....are making some excuse
if i think that--and pple dont like it..tuff sh*t..no offense im not flaming u persay but my generalization was my opinion! every1s opinion is in fact there take on the subject therefore a general comment AS THEY SEE IT...
lets move on pple..
i was just explaining about why you may have gotten the strong reaction ...
because people felt that they were judged..
that you were judging their life style choices..
sure it is your opinion..
i personally don't agree
but then again...that is why i have my opinion..
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:14 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Redhead
Posted by monkeybride
Posted by HollaGirl
I do not want to be a SAHM. I like working to much, and working for me, is my way of contributing to the life my husband and I live. My husband already works his a$$ off so we can have the things we have. If I stopped working, he would work twice as hard, and that is not fair to him. My ideal situation would be to work Part Time for the first year, then go back to work full time.
What is so bad about day care? Children THRIVE at daycare. They learn how to play with other children, share, read, etc. Not saying I couldnt teach my child that, but quite honestly, it is worth the money for me to drop my son/daughter off, to play with other children all day, and have a good time, then for me to sit home all day with him/her.
And I may be selfish, but I am not going to drive a jaloppi, just to have a child, or move away from my family, to have a child. Why would I take my kid away from my family?
Not saying there is anything wrong with your thinking but you might be surprised how your feelings change once you are pregnant and have a baby of your own. Maybe they won't change and that's fine too. I was amazed at how much my thinking on a lot of things changed when I had my DD, actually once I got pregnant.
true
BUT regardless of how someone's feelings would change..
their life choices haven't..
so in that...their feelings are kinda secondary...
If you have to work....you have to work..
But she wasn't talking about having to work she was talking about keeping up a lifestyle and driving a nice car, etc.
I was all about that stuff too until I met DH and realized I wanted to be a mom and wanted to have the chance to be at home with my children as much as possible. I don't think material desires are your life's choices.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:15 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
i have to say...the word and part about the "excuse"....made me go 
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:15 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by monkeybride
But she wasn't talking about having to work she was talking about keeping up a lifestyle and driving a nice car, etc.
I was all about that stuff too until I met DH and realized I wanted to be a mom and wanted to have the chance to be at home with my children as much as possible. I don't think material desires are your life's choices.
i know...i was taking what you said and applying it to the context of the thread..
sure...when i have a child and hold it in my arms...i just might NOT want to work..
may even dread going back
(right now i can't fathom not working at all)
But in the end...
I will have to work whether i like it or not
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:17 PM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Redhead
Posted by muchinluvmichi
well ...Michi made a HUGE generalization and almost an accusation...that for the people who HAVE to work to afford their LIFE STYLE CHOICE....are making some excuse
if i think that--and pple dont like it..tuff sh*t..no offense im not flaming u persay but my generalization was my opinion! every1s opinion is in fact there take on the subject therefore a general comment AS THEY SEE IT...
lets move on pple..
i was just explaining about why you may have gotten the strong reaction ...
because people felt that they were judged..
that you were judging their life style choices..
sure it is your opinion..
i personally don't agree
but then again...that is why i have my opinion..
exactly, the funny part is i didnt even start the thread, i stated my opinion on the subject and pple who dont like it..well thats too bad..there r soo many times i dontagree with pple on here but i am always willing to see things from there side, and re-weigh my decision and be as non judgemental as possible..but every single time i post any opinion.. i KNO exactly what response i will get and 9 out of 10 times i am just waiting..b/c i kno exactly who will have something nasty to say--im willing to bet that half the time if someone else posted my exact comment they wouldnt hear half the cr*p that i get from certain pple..so honestly i hold little regard for certain comments when pple r quick to jump on every single solitary word that i type... many times taken out of context, taken too far and taken wayyy too literal
Message edited 10/11/2006 7:18:31 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:17 PM |
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HollaGirl
Merry Christmas !!!
Member since 10/06 3308 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:18 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:20 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by muchinluvmichi
exactly, the funny part is i didnt even start the thread, i stated my opinion on the subject and pple who dont like it..well thats too bad..there r soo many times i dontagree with pple on here but i am always willing to see things from there side, and re-weigh my decision and be as non judgemental as possible..but every single time i post any opinion.. i KNO exactly what response i will get and 9 out of 10 times i am just waiting..b/c i kno exactly who will have something nasty to say--im willing to bet that half the time if someone else posted my exact comment they wouldnt hear half the cr*p that i get from certain pple..so honestly i hold little regard for certain comments when pple r quick to jump on every single solitary word that i type... many times taken out of context, taken too far and taken wayyy too literal
see...i am going to have to diagree with ya there...
can you honestly say that the same people in this THREAD..normally disagree with you in general?
I think sometimes we see things with biased eyes...
i think you know it was a strong opinion..
i think you knew it would stir the pot..
more power to ya for posting it..
but i don't see that people were jumping on YOU per say as opposed to what you said..
I WOULD BET if i or anyone else poste the same we would have gotten the same reaction...
I think you look at me as a regular flamer of yours...yet i don't think i did that...
although again i do disagree with your statements..
strong opinons usually get string reactions
good and bad
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:23 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I want to stay home for the first year. After that I'll probably go back to work... or do part time, or IA work if we can afford it.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:23 PM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by Redhead
i have to say...the word and part about the "excuse"....made me go
i can understand where that word could ruffle a few feathers, but i totally understood what michi was saying. i think your description of it being a lifestyle choice is a more accurate one.
michi's phrasing just emphasized her opinion, one which i more or less share as well. what i find interesting is people saying they "have to" work. how does one define "have to"? it's all relative based on priorities and situation...what i believe to be michi's "point"...
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:27 PM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by HollaGirl
omg i just PIMPed re: grammar time 
Message edited 10/11/2006 7:29:36 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:28 PM |
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Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I know I will work- no if ands or buts- it's just part of MY reality . . .
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:29 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by anon
Posted by Redhead
i have to say...the word and part about the "excuse"....made me go
i can understand where that word could ruffle a few feathers, but i totally understood what michi was saying. i think your description of it being a lifestyle choice is a more accurate one.
michi's phrasing just emphasized her opinion, one which i more or less share as well. what i find interesting is people saying they "have to" work. how does one define "have to"? it's all relative based on priorities and situation...what i believe to be michi's "point"...
my definition of "I have to work..."
is to support the life style in which me and my family would be MOST happy..
and to me that is what counts the most..
Message edited 10/11/2006 7:36:06 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:30 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
I honestly dont think I can answer this until the time comes. We are not even TTC right now. But the "loose" plan is that I will SAH until the children go to school full time. With our current salaries it will barely work, it will be hard, but we will make it work. I am sure people make it work with much less. Unfortunatley the amount of money I make will just about equal day care so there would be no need for me to work. We do not have the luxury of leaving our children with any of our parents.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:39 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
when dh and i talk about this, we say that i will be a SAHM. no, we don't have kids yet, so its not set it stone. i would love to stay home with my kid(s), but only until they are school age.
and i'm sure when the time comes, things will change.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:49 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
My 2 cents. Everyone should do what is best for them and their family. No one should judge. To each their own. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:51 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by monkeybride
Posted by HollaGirl
I do not want to be a SAHM. I like working to much, and working for me, is my way of contributing to the life my husband and I live. My husband already works his a$$ off so we can have the things we have. If I stopped working, he would work twice as hard, and that is not fair to him. My ideal situation would be to work Part Time for the first year, then go back to work full time.
What is so bad about day care? Children THRIVE at daycare. They learn how to play with other children, share, read, etc. Not saying I couldnt teach my child that, but quite honestly, it is worth the money for me to drop my son/daughter off, to play with other children all day, and have a good time, then for me to sit home all day with him/her.
And I may be selfish, but I am not going to drive a jaloppi, just to have a child, or move away from my family, to have a child. Why would I take my kid away from my family?
Not saying there is anything wrong with your thinking but you might be surprised how your feelings change once you are pregnant and have a baby of your own. Maybe they won't change and that's fine too. I was amazed at how much my thinking on a lot of things changed when I had my DD, actually once I got pregnant.
Your feelings can change, but your income is most likely not going to in the 3 months of maternity leave. I don't want my dh working 2 or 3 jobs so I can stay home. I would love to stay home but I don't think it is fair (even if the dh is ok with it) to do that to your husband. If your dh HAS to work 2 jobs so you can be home, then you shouldn't be home. That is just my opinion.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:51 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by MABLE03
My 2 cents. Everyone should do what is best for them and their family. No one should judge. To each their own. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
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| Posted 10/11/06 7:54 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
Posted by MABLE03
My 2 cents. Everyone should do what is best for them and their family. No one should judge. To each their own. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.
 It's true.
Michi, you can have your own "opinion", but your opinion is judging a whole lot of people on this board. You are telling the 50 people who answered the post that they woudl want to but they can't afford to that they are making excuses! You know you must have pizzed off at least 50 people on here. Come on. And some of us are people who are actually in the situation where this is reality and not speculation.
I never though I wanted to be a SAHM. Never!! I love my job. But when I had my baby I wanted to stay home forever. Between my student loans and paying for our health insurance (my firm pays for 1/2 of mine- but we pay for Jordana's and my DH) and the amount of money I earn and the amount of money DH earns, staying home was not an option. This was not an "excuse" as you say- its my reality.
I truly hope that your life ends up the way you want it to, and of course you are entitled to your opinion but for you to judge the rest of us who are living the situation is wrong.
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:04 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:06 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Spinoff to SAHM...
well said.
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| Posted 10/11/06 8:07 PM |
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