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"There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

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sultana
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

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Bridget

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I read that they called the cops nearly an hour later after Warren left. Maye the article was wrong but I did find it odd that she waited until they left. I know as a mother she did everything she could but I cant help but wonder the extenuating circumstances and dynamics surrounding this. the waiting, the way Daniel was in the background, etc
I know its easy for me to be an "armchair dectective" when reading/watching this but it was jsut so haunting and disturbing. I clearly understand why posters not from the area are drawn to this discussion.

Posted 8/3/11 6:40 PM
 
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

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Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Why were the 3 nieces with them that weekend? Were Danny and Diane watching them? I missed that....what really bothers me is thinking of how scared the kids must have been. And I wonder if the little boy will really ever remember anything.

Posted 8/3/11 9:22 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by CaseyGirl

Why were the 3 nieces with them that weekend? Were Danny and Diane watching them? I missed that....what really bothers me is thinking of how scared the kids must have been. And I wonder if the little boy will really ever remember anything.



IDK...Didnt really say. He is old enough to remember, I think the brain injury might have complicated matters and just the trauma and grief of it all. Whathe has to endure just kills me.

I also hope he NEVER, EVER see's pictures of his Dead Mom like was shown.

Posted 8/3/11 9:34 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

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<3

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Dude. Rayne. For the love of God.... Please tell me you have at least ONE other hobby. Chat Icon

Posted 8/3/11 11:06 PM
 

OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!

Member since 6/08

5172 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I can't even with this Chat Icon It makes me sick to my stomach to think about this, but I watched the documentary tonight anyways.

I agree with the affair theory. I'm not positive that an affair happened with SIL, but I feel like an affair happened either with Danny or Diane having an affair with someone else and it ending badly. I think she left the campsite and was upset.. With what others described as her personality, I can see her stewing over the affair. She probably had a headache from stewing over it or a hangover, maybe both. She was probably smoking pot in the car to calm down, but telling the kids they were "homemade cigarettes" (don't ask). Because she was still stewing, she decided to drink because she was really upset, & sometimes you don't think rationally when you're upset. The combination of pot & alcohol (which really just INTENSIFIES the alcohol when combined), plus her personality get her really amped up and ANGRY, which causes her to keep drinking. I believe she was drinking the vodka straight, with intention. You only need to drink like 4 drinks before you lose inhibitions, and that's just drinking. Combining the pot & alcohol cause you to lose them even sooner. I really think it was a snowball effect. Between the pot, alcohol & whatever was going on emotionally with her, caused her to just keep drinking. The more she drank, the angrier she got, so she dranks & smoked more. And the kids didn't even cross her mind. I think she WASN'T thinking, just tunnel vision about the affair or whatever.

When you ingest a lot of alcohol in a short period of time, you can seem kind of sober (like she appeared at the gas station). Once it hits you, it's like a Mac truck. Your knees go weak & you are HAMMERED beyond belief, you're at the blackout stage. I think she pulled over because she felt sick, and left her phone by mistake. Got back in her car and because she was so wasted at this point she drove the wrong way on the Taconic. Once driving the wrong way, I believe she had a mental break (or maybe a moment of clarity in her mind) and said "f*ck it". The affair or whatever was too much to handle and she decided to end her life. I don't think she was thinking about the kids in the car, her own or Jackie & Warren's. I really think she blocked them out and had complete tunnel vision. That's why she was going 80+mph. I also think she wasn't swerving because at 80mph it's kind of hard to swerve like if you were doing 40mph, and it's not as noticeable. In any case, I think she just snapped. Those poor innocent babies & men. Chat Icon

Posted 8/4/11 12:16 AM
 

brassmunky
LIF Adult

Member since 6/08

1163 total posts

Name:

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by sultana

I read that they called the cops nearly an hour later after Warren left. Maye the article was wrong but I did find it odd that she waited until they left. I know as a mother she did everything she could but I cant help but wonder the extenuating circumstances and dynamics surrounding this. the waiting, the way Daniel was in the background, etc
I know its easy for me to be an "armchair dectective" when reading/watching this but it was jsut so haunting and disturbing. I clearly understand why posters not from the area are drawn to this discussion.



I can understand it too. Its so hard to process. Reading all your thoughts here helps. Even tho i did not know anyone personally involved, it still has affected me in such a way that talking about it does bring some comfort.

It has changed the way i drive, and look at other drivers...

Posted 8/4/11 7:13 AM
 

carolyns4cupcakes
C ♥'s F

Member since 2/07

6456 total posts

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Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I was so afraid to watch it but caved last night and saw it. Those precious children...they are at peace now and they are together- sisters and baby cousin. Chat Icon
That man who pulled all the kids and men out the car- I pray for him! He has to live with this horror everyday! I pray for the families of those 3 men who passed that day!
My heart hurts for the parents of those 3 beautiful girls. Nothing will make them whole again- not even the baby. I hope they can at least feel joy and happiness again- and I know the baby will bring that to them! I will continue to pray for the Hance family!

I think everyone is just making things up now. We can come up with a thousand different senerios- non of them could be right. We'll never know.

I totally understand why Diane's family (other than friends) did not speak in the Doc. They wanted NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! Can you blame them?

No matter what anyone else thinks about Danny - I'm praying hard for him. He needs A LOT of help!!! I pray he gets the help he needs to learn to be a daddy to this precious little boy. He is NOT paternal. He is one of those people who never saw themselves being a daddy type but met someone, got married and had kids. He loves his son but is not cut out for all the crap on his plate now. What he said in the car by "It's getting old quick" are his true feelings. He owns them and he has every right to feel tired and angry and mad. He is not the nurturing father type, so it's his character to say that! He is angry that he has to deal with his son missing his mother and sister all the time- it's extra baggage and stress. He isn't strong enough nor has the patience for it. BUT- he has no choice bc this is his life now! THIS IS YOUR SON- you owe it to him to be his father and if you don't know how to do it- learn how!!!! Get the help you need!

I'm sure if he put the effort into it he would see that he is strong enough and he could be a great father to his son!

Message edited 8/4/2011 3:45:18 PM.

Posted 8/4/11 10:01 AM
 

mrsej
The cutest!

Member since 1/07

2495 total posts

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Mommy

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I spoke with a friend who was involved with the case (not going to get into how) over the weekend. I wanted to ask a million questions but didn't want to sound like I was obsessed and crazy and he didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it. So i simply asked him if he thought she was an alcoholic. He said no and thought she was ****** off about something (in so many words) and just drank and smoked because she was upset. Of course, i wanted to ask a ton more, but I resisted. I don't know what he was basing this on and of course, am not implying that is definitely what happened, but thought it was interesting comment.

Posted 8/4/11 10:16 AM
 

sultana
LIF Adult

Member since 5/09

1455 total posts

Name:
Bridget

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

a friend of mine worked at Cablevision with her ( not on a daily basis though and different departments). When I posted a link on my fb page she told me that they all were shocked. that Diane was a "doll"

Posted 8/4/11 10:25 AM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I was just emailing with my sister and she sent me her opinion and it is making more and more sense.

This is what she thinks
" I think that Diane was having pain on the trip home. Whether it was from a toothache, TMJ, a migraine, or even a bad hangover, we'll never know.. But the fact that she went into the Sunoco looking for Tylenol is a very big clue. She was in pain.

When the gas station didn't have Tylenol and she could find none in her purse, being the headstrong, "get 'er done", punctual and independent person she was, she took a few shots of the vodka hoping it would take the edge off.. Well that didn't work, and perhaps the pain got even worse. Pot is a known anagelstic, so she figured she'd take a few tokes of a joint for the pain. The combonation of the two hit her hard, and suddently she was accidently wasted. One of the experts in the film posed the question: Did she have a fever? Perhaps she was coming down with the flu or an infection and had a low grade fever, and the pot/alcohol affected her much stronger than it usually did.

Realizing she was much more wasted than she'd intended to be, she pulled over and called her brother. That was the partially incoherent conversation where she was calling him Danny at times and slurring her words. The kids stated she "couldn't see". I think many of us have been so drunk where we could not see straight, and I've never combined pot with alcohol but have witnessed people under the influence of the combo and indeed, they could not see straight. I think that after Warren told her to stay put she sat for a moment but suddently realized "Oh ****, what if he sends the police...they'll see I'm drunk and I'll be arrested". Diane was a perfectionist, and also into image ("those kids never so much had a hair out of place...").Even in her altered state of mind she could not fathom being degraded in such away, arrested and jailed with 5 children in the car--her entire reputation would be shot. So she psyched herself up and attempted to drive home. She thought she could do it if she focused.But she understimated the degree of her impairment. By the times she was doing the "death drive" the wrong way down the Taconic, the kids were screaming but she was in a delerium, had blocked out any other sounds, even the cars honking and flashing lights at her, and was intently focused on driving straight down the road ("She drove PIN STRAIGHT...").

The result was a tragedy too big for words, too horrible to comprehend. I think Danny & Jay are in deep denial, and Danny especially might never be able to face reality. I think the Hances have not even scratched the tip of the iceberg in their grief. "




Now thinking about this, I have two added things.

One- that she was upset already and possibly why she brought the pot with her and Vodka home. Danny lied about being at the campgrounds Thursday night. Did she know this? Making her state of mind totally off to begin with.

Two- I think like my sister says, she pulled over to call her brother and she might have told him some of it ( it was a long call!) and he may have even have said, I'm gonna get the police to help you, which is when she FREAKED out and drove off her usual course home cause she thought her brother was sending the police to come find her. She may have even then smoked the pot to 'sober up'.

I think the brother hasnt talked because of his guilt and what he knows.



Posted 8/4/11 12:20 PM
 

JessInCA
live laugh love

Member since 8/06

5082 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by dm24angel

This is what she thinks
" I think that Diane was having pain on the trip home. Whether it was from a toothache, TMJ, a migraine, or even a bad hangover, we'll never know.. But the fact that she went into the Sunoco looking for Tylenol is a very big clue. She was in pain.

When the gas station didn't have Tylenol and she could find none in her purse, being the headstrong, "get 'er done", punctual and independent person she was, she took a few shots of the vodka hoping it would take the edge off.. Well that didn't work, and perhaps the pain got even worse. Pot is a known anagelstic, so she figured she'd take a few tokes of a joint for the pain.



Who does that though??? Seriously - I don't understand how anyone could possibly rationalize that they should drink some vodka and/or smoke some pot, let alone do both, WHILE behind the wheel on a several hour-long drive home, because they are in pain.

You/your sister are certainly not the only ones who've mentioned being in pain as a possible reason for her why she did what she did - am I just naive in my thinking? Are there really people out there who agree that in a pinch, downing vodka while operating a motor vehicle is an acceptable alternative to calling someone for medical help? I just don't buy it.

By all accounts, this wasn't a stupid woman that we're talking about, and regardless of how Type-A she may have been, common sense should override the whole "I can handle everything by myself" thing. If you have physical pain to the extent that it's distracting you while you're driving, how is it a remotely comprehensible decision to drink and smoke pot while on the road with a car full of children, in an attempt to manage the pain? I can't wrap my brain around it.

Posted 8/4/11 1:02 PM
 

mirla122
Hot! Hot! Hot!

Member since 1/06

1732 total posts

Name:
Mirla

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

this is so horrific that I counldn't watch. i was hysterical in the first 5 minutes and stopped it.

Message edited 8/4/2011 3:21:03 PM.

Posted 8/4/11 3:18 PM
 

renee92405
I finally hit 1000! woo hoo!

Member since 1/06

2294 total posts

Name:
Renee

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I have a question, not sure if it was talked about here yet, (trying to keep up with all the posts)...
She was driving the wrong way, cars are passing her, trying to get out of the way, wouldn't a person say to themselves "oh Shiit! I'm going the wrong way!" stop, pull over, turn around?
Why did she continue to drive in the wrong direction?

Posted 8/4/11 3:19 PM
 

jerseypanda
Life is good.

Member since 1/07

9164 total posts

Name:
Amanda

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by renee92405

I have a question, not sure if it was talked about here yet, (trying to keep up with all the posts)...
She was driving the wrong way, cars are passing her, trying to get out of the way, wouldn't a person say to themselves "oh Shiit! I'm going the wrong way!" stop, pull over, turn around?
Why did she continue to drive in the wrong direction?



She had a blood alcohol content of .19... more than 2 times the legal limit. She was drunk and who knows what else was going on with her at the time. Not in her right mind to realize what she was doing.

Posted 8/4/11 3:21 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by renee92405

I have a question, not sure if it was talked about here yet, (trying to keep up with all the posts)...
She was driving the wrong way, cars are passing her, trying to get out of the way, wouldn't a person say to themselves "oh Shiit! I'm going the wrong way!" stop, pull over, turn around?
Why did she continue to drive in the wrong direction?



Because she was bombed and stoned out of her mind.

Posted 8/4/11 3:26 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7790 total posts

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Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by sultana

a friend of mine worked at Cablevision with her ( not on a daily basis though and different departments). When I posted a link on my fb page she told me that they all were shocked. that Diane was a "doll"



I have a family member who worked directly with her daily and was SHOCKED when this came out. Like, to this day, can't accept it. She also loved her and has nothing but nice things to say about her.

Posted 8/4/11 3:31 PM
 

CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

19978 total posts

Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

If I was in pain - not severe- I'd never ever do a few shots or tokes to get me home. I'd live with and deal with it later. If I was in severe pain, I'd pull over and call for help. I sort of agree with the whole suddenly bombed theory, I've had that happen to me. All of a sudden you're trashed. We may never know, something that day was off, someones not saying something, she was wasted and evil was present.

Posted 8/4/11 4:07 PM
 

Rayne
LIF Zygote

Member since 7/11

44 total posts

Name:

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Does anyone know how Bryan is doing now? After all, despite all of the arguing, theories, and such ... BRYAN is the most important aspect of this case right now.

No matter how desperately we want, we can't change what happened; and, we can't bring those lost that day back. We CAN focus on Bryan and making sure he receives all he needs to get through this. He needs to know he is a miracle that God himself protected. He needs to know that HE did nothing wrong. He needs to know that we all love him, even those of us that have never met him.

I would also like to thank those posting their feelings towards Diane ... those that REALLY knew her. Part of me questions if Danny REALLY knew her. What she did was horrendous; but, that doesn't mean she was a monster. I think many could forgive her at some point. It's her husband's actions that keep this so raw and people so angry.

I don't blame them for seeking answers if this was so totally out of character; but, do they have to do it publicly? Do they have to portray her as a saint? NO ONE is perfect.

What she did was wrong; and, Daniel needs to acknowledge that. Acknowledge the pain, suffering, and loss of the victim's families. Step back from the public so that the victim's can heal.

Although, I do believe he is a piece of crap for suing Warren because he was kind enough to loan them his van.

The Hance family is being sued by everyone. They've already lost everything important to them. The Bastardi family alone is suing Schuler & Hance for $1 million for wrongful death (and that's just one of the lawsuits). Auto insurance has it's limits. I can't fathom the thought of them being forced to sell their home where their daughter's rooms are still kept the same. That would be so, so wrong!

My heart aches for ALL of them.

I also don't understand why no depositions have been taken for the Bastardi lawsuit that was filed in 2009. What is the hold up? I'd love to read their book; but, $30 is a bit much. You would think, if they wrote it to get their side heard, it would have been a little more affordable.

Posted 8/4/11 5:25 PM
 

KPsquared

Member since 5/05

4663 total posts

Name:

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Did anyone read the essay Jackie Hance wrote in Ladies Home Journal this month? This is the first time she is talking publicly about this horrible tragedy. Here is the link for anyone who didn't see it.

http://www.lhj.com/relationships/family/raising-kids/life-after-the-death-of-my-children/

Message edited 8/4/2011 5:54:29 PM.

Posted 8/4/11 5:54 PM
 

juanvi
Get Out!

Member since 10/06

4463 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by Rayne

Does anyone know how Bryan is doing now? After all, despite all of the arguing, theories, and such ... BRYAN is the most important aspect of this case right now.
/QUOTE]

I am their neighbor and I see him all the time. He does great when I actually see him playing and running. I just wish Danny would take him outside more often. It could be because he doesn't want any pictures taken of him etc etc. They are the nicest family and always have been. This whole thing still S U C K S. Erin would have been in the same class as my son. So many family members come by to see Bryan and I think it makes him very happy. He has to know he is loved. I really wish Jay didn't say what she did about Danny not wanting kids. She should have known better than to tell the world something like that..especially since Bryan will someday see it. I haven't ever read or heard that danny got paid extra for those pics of Diane's body...I hope it was out of his control.

Posted 8/4/11 6:21 PM
 

Rayne
LIF Zygote

Member since 7/11

44 total posts

Name:

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by juanvi

Posted by Rayne

Does anyone know how Bryan is doing now? After all, despite all of the arguing, theories, and such ... BRYAN is the most important aspect of this case right now.
/QUOTE]

I am their neighbor and I see him all the time. He does great when I actually see him playing and running. I just wish Danny would take him outside more often. It could be because he doesn't want any pictures taken of him etc etc. They are the nicest family and always have been. This whole thing still S U C K S. Erin would have been in the same class as my son. So many family members come by to see Bryan and I think it makes him very happy. He has to know he is loved. I really wish Jay didn't say what she did about Danny not wanting kids. She should have known better than to tell the world something like that..especially since Bryan will someday see it. I haven't ever read or heard that danny got paid extra for those pics of Diane's body...I hope it was out of his control.



Thank you. If you get the chance, please let Bryan know how many love him and how special he is!

I also agree w/ you. Bryan should never have to see or hear things from that documentary. He should never feel that he is a burden on anyone! Very stupid things to say!!

Message edited 8/4/2011 6:25:45 PM.

Posted 8/4/11 6:24 PM
 

carolyns4cupcakes
C ♥'s F

Member since 2/07

6456 total posts

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Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by KimPetro

Did anyone read the essay Jackie Hance wrote in Ladies Home Journal this month? This is the first time she is talking publicly about this horrible tragedy. Here is the link for anyone who didn't see it.

http://www.lhj.com/relationships/family/raising-kids/life-after-the-death-of-my-children/




Thank you very much. Chat Icon

Posted 8/4/11 6:44 PM
 

Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!

Member since 10/05

29450 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

I started to watch it again this morning because I missed parts and wanted to pay attention to other details - but what really upset me was the couple who Diane basically was running off the road - who stopped at the rest stop with her. I know we can't do what if's -- but if only they confronted her maybe they would have realized something was really off. I know they probably beat themselves up over that everyday. What a terrible situation to be in. Chat Icon

Posted 8/4/11 6:45 PM
 

montimom
LIF Toddler

Member since 11/05

479 total posts

Name:
Misha

Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by Diana1215

I started to watch it again this morning because I missed parts and wanted to pay attention to other details - but what really upset me was the couple who Diane basically was running off the road - who stopped at the rest stop with her. I know we can't do what if's -- but if only they confronted her maybe they would have realized something was really off. I know they probably beat themselves up over that everyday. What a terrible situation to be in. Chat Icon



That is exactly what I thought after watching it. What a horrible thing to live with too, the fact that they DIDN'T do something.

Posted 8/4/11 6:57 PM
 

NS1976
My princess!

Member since 5/05

6548 total posts

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Re: "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane"

Posted by montimom

Posted by Diana1215

I started to watch it again this morning because I missed parts and wanted to pay attention to other details - but what really upset me was the couple who Diane basically was running off the road - who stopped at the rest stop with her. I know we can't do what if's -- but if only they confronted her maybe they would have realized something was really off. I know they probably beat themselves up over that everyday. What a terrible situation to be in. Chat Icon



That is exactly what I thought after watching it. What a horrible thing to live with too, the fact that they DIDN'T do something.



Hindsight is 20 20. Honestly, you dont know who you're approaching. Even though she was a woman, they didnt know who was in the car with her. They didnt see the kids. They werent definite if she got sick or not..I cant say that I would approach someone who almost just ran me off the road..man or woman. I felt bad for that couple..of course they are thinking "We should have" or "We could have" but honestly, I dont blame them for not getting involved.

Posted 8/4/11 7:35 PM
 
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