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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
Posted by Katareen
I would just spend less on your nieces. Unless they’re needy and you’re getting them necessities, you don’t need to spend $100+, especially on a 7 year old. And spending $50 is not “punishment” by any means. I spend $50 on my nieces/nephews and get them very nice gifts.
This. I think we are pretty generous when it comes to gift giving but I only spend between $50-$60 on my nephews and for my DH's side, the kids are older so we get them $50 gift cards or $50 cash each and I feel that is a very nice gift.
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Posted 12/28/18 4:39 PM  |
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bella321
Blessed!
Member since 3/09 1952 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
I would tell my brother that DC have enough stuff and would enjoy more of an "experience" with their cousins (ie. movies, bowling, laser tag, that sort of thing) rather than gifts.
I'm sorry this has been such a disappointment. I know a gift is suppose to be just that, a "gift", but when party is being thoughtful and the other is not, it really doesn't matter how much is spent.
As a side note, for DS's Communion, my BIL brought his 4 kids and grlfriend and gave a $20 gift and a birthday card.
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| Posted 12/28/18 7:16 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
I was your children growing up. My cousin’s got awesome gifts and I got crap. Many a Christmas I went into the bathroom at Christmas Eve and cried because I watched my cousins play with their toys while I got clothes or something. In my family now we do secret Santa. $25 gift limit. I’d suggest that or no gifts.
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| Posted 12/28/18 9:12 PM |
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babydreaming
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 1130 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
So frustrating. I have 2 sisters (A &B) and a brother. Sister A has 4 kids(ranging from 16-4), sister B has 2 kids (age 3 and 8mths) and my brother is single. Sister B does not give ANYTHING to any of our kids. Her explanation to the kids is that their parents can afford to buy them anything they want. This year she gave each kid a handmade card and taped 1 piece ferrero rocher to the card. I can’t even make this up if I tried. My 8 and 10 year old try to understand.....how do I explain when I don’t understand. She never buys our kids bday gifts.....and most of the time she doesn’t even call. Sister A and I still buy gifts for her kids and we make sure we call.
After this year I have decided I am done. I don’t need expensive gifts.....just something thoughtful. And they can afford gifts so there are no issues there. I am not doing anymore gifts to the kids on bdays and XMAS. I’ve cried over this and made myself upset....mostly bc I wonder how she does not see it. We were all raised the same. Just hurts.
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| Posted 12/28/18 11:44 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
Posted by babydreaming
So frustrating. I have 2 sisters (A &B) and a brother. Sister A has 4 kids(ranging from 16-4), sister B has 2 kids (age 3 and 8mths) and my brother is single. Sister B does not give ANYTHING to any of our kids. Her explanation to the kids is that their parents can afford to buy them anything they want. This year she gave each kid a handmade card and taped 1 piece ferrero rocher to the card. I can’t even make this up if I tried. My 8 and 10 year old try to understand.....how do I explain when I don’t understand. She never buys our kids bday gifts.....and most of the time she doesn’t even call. Sister A and I still buy gifts for her kids and we make sure we call.
After this year I have decided I am done. I don’t need expensive gifts.....just something thoughtful. And they can afford gifts so there are no issues there. I am not doing anymore gifts to the kids on bdays and XMAS. I’ve cried over this and made myself upset....mostly bc I wonder how she does not see it. We were all raised the same. Just hurts.
She doesn’t get it bc her kids aren’t old enough to know the difference. I’d stop buying for her kids and in 3 years when her kids start to cry about it, she’ll see.
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| Posted 12/29/18 10:20 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by babydreaming
So frustrating. I have 2 sisters (A &B) and a brother. Sister A has 4 kids(ranging from 16-4), sister B has 2 kids (age 3 and 8mths) and my brother is single. Sister B does not give ANYTHING to any of our kids. Her explanation to the kids is that their parents can afford to buy them anything they want. This year she gave each kid a handmade card and taped 1 piece ferrero rocher to the card. I can’t even make this up if I tried. My 8 and 10 year old try to understand.....how do I explain when I don’t understand. She never buys our kids bday gifts.....and most of the time she doesn’t even call. Sister A and I still buy gifts for her kids and we make sure we call.
After this year I have decided I am done. I don’t need expensive gifts.....just something thoughtful. And they can afford gifts so there are no issues there. I am not doing anymore gifts to the kids on bdays and XMAS. I’ve cried over this and made myself upset....mostly bc I wonder how she does not see it. We were all raised the same. Just hurts.
She doesn’t get it bc her kids aren’t old enough to know the difference. I’d stop buying for her kids and in 3 years when her kids start to cry about it, she’ll see.
Yep, she is selfish. She will only understand once it affects her kids and then you will be the bad aunt who does not get her kids anything. She does not want to care how her actions affect your feelings or your kids feelings.
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| Posted 12/29/18 2:15 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
So my kids are the oldest and I set a $30 limit from my siblings. I explained to them when my kids were little they did not need to spend so much on my kids. At that point neither were married, and I just felt that they did not need to be extravagant, for the holidays. That was my job. As it is, I set a $250 limit per kid because they just don't need more. So now that I have a nephew I am glad to have set the limit, and my siblings are happy for the limit too.
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| Posted 12/29/18 2:20 PM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
I would just let it go. We get some crappy gifts as well but I don't know the tactful way to say, that my kids don't need any more toys and to please buy gift cards. I actually bought everyone else's kids gift cards this year because I know everyone's houses are probably overwhelmed with toys.
I have toys that I actually haven't opened that I will probably donate next year to Toys for Tots because they just get so many toys from relatives.
Also, one of DH's aunts is notorious for going to the dollar store and buying them a bunch of stuff from there, but whatever, it is what it is.
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| Posted 12/29/18 3:02 PM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
Posted by LuckyStar
DH’s family does similar crap. My SIL got DD a my first purse with a crinkly credit card and key rattle. It’s adorable but she’s 3.
Lol my 3.5 yr old got the same exact gift.
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| Posted 12/29/18 3:08 PM |
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SweetSarj
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1592 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
Posted by w8andsee
I would not say anything and just buy less for your nieces next year.
This. You can’t tell other people how to spend their money, they’ll just do as they please. Most you can do is suggest items or send a wishlist, which you did.
Buy less next year for his kids. Take the extra money and get your kids gifts from Santa which they can enjoy to ease the disappointment of what they get from your brother.
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| Posted 12/29/18 9:58 PM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
I don't think I would say anything.
Either spend less on your nieces ($50 per child is plenty generous) or suggest that you stop exchanging gifts from now on.
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| Posted 1/1/19 11:49 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
yeah i'm definitely going to take everyone's suggestions. I'm not going to say anything.
But i am definitely suggesting a change. Either doing something as a family or doing some sort of gift card game exchange.
Thank you everyone!
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| Posted 1/1/19 1:29 PM |
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TTCwithHope
LIF Infant
Member since 4/10 297 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
I just thought about this from a different perspective. If my sister gave my kids $100 worth of gifts(that seems like it could be worth over $200) I would be pretty pissed. I wouldn’t want my kids receiving that extravagant in gifts from anyone other than me really. Especially since it might be more than I could afford to give back to their kids. Her giving my kids $100 of stuff each and me giving her kids a $25 toy just won’t compare the right way and would embarrass me. Just maybe could the crappy gifts be a message to you to stop giving such pricey or so many gifts?
Also, there could be $ problems in their world, you really might not know. We have fought over the years very hard to hide DHs unemployed periods from family and no one would have a clue.
Just a different point of view.
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| Posted 1/1/19 5:16 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: WWYD re: crappy xmas gifts for your kids?
Posted by TTCwithHope
I just thought about this from a different perspective. If my sister gave my kids $100 worth of gifts(that seems like it could be worth over $200) I would be pretty pissed. I wouldn’t want my kids receiving that extravagant in gifts from anyone other than me really. Especially since it might be more than I could afford to give back to their kids. Her giving my kids $100 of stuff each and me giving her kids a $25 toy just won’t compare the right way and would embarrass me. Just maybe could the crappy gifts be a message to you to stop giving such pricey or so many gifts?
Also, there could be $ problems in their world, you really might not know. We have fought over the years very hard to hide DHs unemployed periods from family and no one would have a clue.
Just a different point of view.
I can appreciate what you're saying.
But money is definitely not an issue for them. That i know. They both drive Mercedes SUV's and do rather well. Even if it was, why wouldn't she have mentioned a budget for each kid if that was the case?
Plus i don't think they're pissed that i spend that much. We don't have any other family and both our parents are deceased. So it's not like they're getting spoiled by their grandparents or anyone else. I mean i could be wrong about that aspect, but definitely not about how much money they have.
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| Posted 1/1/19 8:26 PM |
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