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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: could be controversial
I'm an adult who came from a very very low income situation. And I can say that I had the best childhood!!! I'm not a snob and I'm not a delinquent. My mom raised me and money or not, she wanted a good child! She is an awesome mom. There is sooooo much more that goes into raising a child than just money. Do I think that society should foot the bill for those who can't afford it? No, but society needs to take care, to SOME extent, of its own. A community raising a child, if you may. But to allow people to have kids and they just sit and sit and sit and let welfare do all the work...not cool in my book. Everyone needs help, at one point or another, be it financially or not. But parents need to give their kids more than just money.
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Posted 6/9/05 3:31 PM  |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: could be controversial
I'm sort of dealing with this scenario now. A friend of Bob's wants to have a baby. He's 37, lives at home, makes like $10.00 an hour. His mother basically supports him but he's "trying" to get his girlfriend pregnant because he thinks it's "time" for him to be a father. This coming from the idiot who just bought a brand new Murano that his mother has to subsidize the monthly payments because he can't carry them. His girlfriend doesn't work and insists that she won't if she gets pregnant. Neither of them have anything to offer this kid. Both in their 30's, both living at home. There's no way I can look at this situation and be happy for this potential child. The parents are so consumed with what THEY want and under the pretense that MOM and DAD will bail them out, pay their way, etc. Part of being a responsible parent is sacrificing. I should know. There's alot I sacrifice for my baby and I work hard to make sure she has the essentials. What kind of life is this kid going to have if God fobid Grandma and Grandpa's pocketbooks dry up?
It's so not my business, but it chaps my a$$ when they come over and brag about their plans. Get off your butts and do something with your lives before you drag another one into your mess.
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:35 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by MissJones
I'm an adult who came from a very very low income situation. And I can say that I had the best childhood!!! I'm not a snob and I'm not a delinquent. My mom raised me and money or not, she wanted a good child! She is an awesome mom. There is sooooo much more that goes into raising a child than just money. Do I think that society should foot the bill for those who can't afford it? No, but society needs to take care, to SOME extent, of its own. A community raising a child, if you may. But to allow people to have kids and they just sit and sit and sit and let welfare do all the work...not cool in my book. Everyone needs help, at one point or another, be it financially or not. But parents need to give their kids more than just money.
Why is it my responsibility (to an extent ) no it should not be see that is what irritates me I don't have children because I am not finaciallt secure so now I pay others that is crazy
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:39 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by MissJones
I'm an adult who came from a very very low income situation. And I can say that I had the best childhood!!! I'm not a snob and I'm not a delinquent. My mom raised me and money or not, she wanted a good child! She is an awesome mom. There is sooooo much more that goes into raising a child than just money. Do I think that society should foot the bill for those who can't afford it? No, but society needs to take care, to SOME extent, of its own. A community raising a child, if you may. But to allow people to have kids and they just sit and sit and sit and let welfare do all the work...not cool in my book. Everyone needs help, at one point or another, be it financially or not. But parents need to give their kids more than just money.
Exactly.
I think having kids starts with surrendering & adjusting to the new lifestyle that comes with having kids. You're no longer #1, and develop an explainable love for your new #1. Everything else is superficial things IMO.
Message edited 6/9/2005 3:41:46 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:39 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: could be controversial
We pay taxes in our community so that children can be educated? If we didn't do that, only the rich would go to school. Is that acceptable? Imo, no. Should only the rich get vaccinations? Imo, no. That is what I mean by society taking care of society to an extent. You may not have children, and neither do I, but we both benefited from society taking care of us to an extent. I do not think, however, that society should be paying for housing, clothing and feeding of children, unless these children are wards of the state and reside in orphanages. There are just things in every society and culture that require the help of the people.
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:45 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by MissJones
We pay taxes in our community so that children can be educated? If we didn't do that, only the rich would go to school. Is that acceptable? Imo, no. Should only the rich get vaccinations? Imo, no. That is what I mean by society taking care of society to an extent. You may not have children, and neither do I, but we both benefited from society taking care of us to an extent. I do not think, however, that society should be paying for housing, clothing and feeding of children, unless these children are wards of the state and reside in orphanages. There are just things in every society and culture that require the help of the people.
I completely agree.
But I have to admit that it slightly peeves me when I hear some women say "I'm going to have another kid, to extend my welfare"... it's completely acceptable that some need welfare to survive, BUT not when the person who receives it is just being lazy & living off the system.
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:48 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
I know someone who had Twins her first pregnancy. She was VERY sick for the months before she worked for Goldman Sachs before getting pregnant. She was in the hospital for months and months at a time. Her husband fell out of a tree (he was a tree cutter) and needed to have surgery on his back. Then (and still) is on Disability. She got W.I.C. (Woman infants and children) they were financially ready but things happened they needed help 
Now they have 4 kids and she works in a school becuase she wanted to be home with her kids. (4 of the best kids I ever met) Goldman Sachs called her to come back after the twins and she said no she wants to stay with her kids.
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:48 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by MissJones
We pay taxes in our community so that children can be educated? If we didn't do that, only the rich would go to school. Is that acceptable? Imo, no. Should only the rich get vaccinations? Imo, no. That is what I mean by society taking care of society to an extent. You may not have children, and neither do I, but we both benefited from society taking care of us to an extent. I do not think, however, that society should be paying for housing, clothing and feeding of children, unless these children are wards of the state and reside in orphanages. There are just things in every society and culture that require the help of the people.
ok i understand now what you are saying I am speaking in regards to clothing HOUSING etc
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| Posted 6/9/05 3:55 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: could be controversial
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:02 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by karacg
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
SO AGREE!!!
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:03 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by karacg
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
AND why shouldn't they let there kids have manicures at 5 if they can afford it so be it .. I am talking about the fact of willingly knowing you can't afford a child but exercise your right to because you can that disgusts me more
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:08 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by karacg
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
I agree, I was one of 7, SAHM, went to Catholic school. Most would say we were poor, as far as cars, toys, and vacations, I guess we were. I want to be a SAHM, and when people ask how I will swing this I seriously don't see a problem.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:10 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by karacg
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
AND why shouldn't they let there kids have manicures at 5 if they can afford it so be it .. I am talking about the fact of willingly knowing you can't afford a child but exercise your right to because you can that disgusts me more
If the mother is working long hours, IMO, stay at home for a few years and live a simpler life.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:12 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:12 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by karacg
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
AND why shouldn't they let there kids have manicures at 5 if they can afford it so be it .. I am talking about the fact of willingly knowing you can't afford a child but exercise your right to because you can that disgusts me more
Because IMO a manicure is for grown-ups. Kids need to learn to take care of themselves before expecting to pay someone to do it for them. Ha, I knew I'd get in trouble for this one but that's how I feel. That is not the issue anyway, the issue is...what some people may think is "enough" $$ to have kids to others may seem irresponsible -- if they can't afford certain things. But having a child to get welfare $$ is not right IMO. Having a child because you want to and you can give him/her love, attention, and a good home is what I would say the minimum a person should have.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:16 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
Why be a SAHM is it truly necessary? What is the issue with wanting to work and help support ? Being a SAHM doesn't necessarily mean a better life for the child
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:17 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: could be controversial
I don't think that any of us that don't have children can understand just exactly how much having a child costs. Yes, there are statistics out there, but every case is different. I am 31 years old. My DH and I both have decent paying jobs, but we are still not sure that we can afford a child right now. Should we wait until we have no doubt? That time may never come. We want a family. We will do everything within our power to make sure that the child has everything that it needs. We might end up being considered poor, but frankly I don't really care as long as we are happy.
As far as my tax dollars. I would rather my money (since they are going to take it no matter what) go to education programs and health services for those that can't afford it then into some political agenda.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:19 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by karacg
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by karacg
My cousin works full time so that she can - get this - buy her kids ALL the TOYS they WANT. To me, that is insane. Work because you want to, or because you need to pay the mortgage, or whatever but so that your kids can have the msot toys??? I am sure these kids would rather have mom's time and attention instead of more toys.
My parents had 6 kids - no one thought about if they could afford it or not, they were just good Catholics. Today, so many people are concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, and designer this, and the biggest SUV -- in my book, you don't have to buy expensive products to be able to "afford" a baby. A home and food and clothes and the basic necessities are all that's required.
I mean, look at these boards and you will see -- people are obsess with status and trying to impress everyone else!! What kind of party to throw the 3-year-old (to impress the other moms, really)? SHould my 5 year old get a manicure?? Come on...
AND why shouldn't they let there kids have manicures at 5 if they can afford it so be it .. I am talking about the fact of willingly knowing you can't afford a child but exercise your right to because you can that disgusts me more
Because IMO a manicure is for grown-ups. Kids need to learn to take care of themselves before expecting to pay someone to do it for them. Ha, I knew I'd get in trouble for this one but that's how I feel. That is not the issue anyway, the issue is...what some people may think is "enough" $$ to have kids to others may seem irresponsible -- if they can't afford certain things. But having a child to get welfare $$ is not right IMO. Having a child because you want to and you can give him/her love, attention, and a good home is what I would say the minimum a person should have.
A good home? what does that entail just love ? that is a fairytale that does not really happen a good home means heat, food running water electric , do you pay for that with love?
Message edited 6/9/2005 4:23:14 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:19 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
Why be a SAHM is it truly necessary? What is the issue with wanting to work and help support ? Being a SAHM doesn't necessarily mean a better life for the child
Did you quote the wrong post, because I said nothing about being a SAHM 
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:19 PM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
ALthough it is everyone "right"...
I do believe there are people who have NO BUSINESS having children 
I couldn't agree more!
However, one thing I want to add is that if you mean financially in that they are on wellfare or government support, well then I think they shouldn't be able to continue to procreate and continue to add children to that situation. If you already have 2 children and are on gov. support, you shouldn't be having another 2, 3, 4.
Harsh, maybe. But I think they should worry about the couple they have first before adding more.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:19 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
Why be a SAHM is it truly necessary? What is the issue with wanting to work and help support ? Being a SAHM doesn't necessarily mean a better life for the child
It's a personal choice, there is nothing wrong with either choice. You do what works best for you, in my case I'm a sahm now.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:21 PM |
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jms100303
Luv my munchkins
Member since 5/05 4789 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by june262004
Well Welfare is a different story. I didn't think of Welfare when I read the topic
I didn't think of welfare either. That's completely different then.
that is the first thing i thought of
Same here!
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:21 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
Why be a SAHM is it truly necessary? What is the issue with wanting to work and help support ? Being a SAHM doesn't necessarily mean a better life for the child
I personally think it is better(shielding self from flames) When a couple decides to have a baby, and parents are gone from 8-6:30 everyday, then I think that is a problem. Why have a child if you can only be around full time on the weekends?
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:21 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Janice
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
Why be a SAHM is it truly necessary? What is the issue with wanting to work and help support ? Being a SAHM doesn't necessarily mean a better life for the child
I personally think it is better(shielding self from flames) When a couple decides to have a baby, and parents are gone from 8-6:30 everyday, then I think that is a problem. Why have a child if you can only be around full time on the weekends?
I couldn't agree more.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:22 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Hmm..this is a good question because we are going through this now. We do not own a house, and we live a little better then paycheck to paycheck, run into problems sometimes etc , yet are actively TTC.
We also KNOW that we live the way we do because we eat out a LOT, we buy TONS of things like clothes, videos, CD's and food we dont need at $9.99 a lb etc a month. We figure we could EASILY have a ton of extra money a month saved if we cut back. We also are almost paid off on cars etc, where in in about 2 years we'll be richer then richer ( in our terms..lol) AND Having 14 nieces and nephews and friends with kids, I will tell you I believe BABIES dont cost money, KIDS do. Our family has already bought diapers for us and were not even PG! My friend didnt buy her son or daughter one single outfit untill then were 3 years old thanks to all the gifts of clothes.
My mom and DH's mom both supported kids alone (his dad died, mine left) on minimal salaries...as a single mom, I know my mom never said no, and I RARELY went without anything until I was older..say a car, money for college etc...BUT I would never ever give up what I had, which was TONS of strength learned during hard times.
YES, I truly believe love is enough in OUR situation.
If we were unsure of where we were getting money for rent etc, it would be a different story.
I think every situation is different and has to be judged that way.
I personally believe that we will be better parents then hundreds of people TTC, having kids who are much much better off then us.
This is a sticky topic, so people remember , its just opinions.
Many people say if you wait till your finacially ready, you will never have children.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:23 PM |
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