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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Janice
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
I agree with this
Why be a SAHM is it truly necessary? What is the issue with wanting to work and help support ? Being a SAHM doesn't necessarily mean a better life for the child
I personally think it is better(shielding self from flames) When a couple decides to have a baby, and parents are gone from 8-6:30 everyday, then I think that is a problem. Why have a child if you can only be around full time on the weekends?
I couldn't agree more.
shielding you as well
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Posted 6/9/05 4:23 PM  |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Janice
I couldn't agree more.
shielding you as well
I'm ready.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:24 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
A good home? what does that entail just love ? that is a faitytale that does not really happen a good home means heat, food running water electric ,
Many people throughout this country and others live perfectly happy lives without such things as heat, running water and electricity. I will agree with you on food, but many people choose to live a simple life without the other amenities.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:24 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Janice
I personally think it is better(shielding self from flames) When a couple decides to have a baby, and parents are gone from 8-6:30 everyday, then I think that is a problem. Why have a child if you can only be around full time on the weekends?
I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to agree with this as well
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:24 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: could be controversial
I think it's really hard to generalize. My parents were financially ready for a child. My parents owned a house, and my mom was able to stay at home with me. But my dad was using me because he hoped a kid would save his marriage... that didn't work out. So, when I was four, my parents divorced and my mom, without a college education, had to get a job as a secretary. We moved back to NY so that my grandma could take care of me, and we lived in a small basement apartment in Copaigue. It wasn't the best situation, but my mom loved me, and she was going to raise me well no matter how much money she had.
So in many cases, even if the financial situation isn't the best, it can still work.
I do believe, however, that there are some people that should not have kids. Some for money reasons, some because they just shouldn't be parents.
As FMIL says "Are you ever really completly finacially ready to have kids?"
I'd just like to have most of our student loans paid off before we try. But we shall see...
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:26 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Im also wondering what exactly do you all consider finacially ready?
The ability to feed, clothe a child
A college fund set up
a large sum saved in the bank?
We kinda live by the today not tommorow motto and may be why we ( me and dh) think like we do.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:29 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
that's the thing, I don't think you are ever financially ready because we always want more and more, so where does it end?
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:30 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: could be controversial
Yes, I think everyone has the right to have a child...do I think that means they all should? Heck NO!
I don't think finances should be the only factor in raising a child. I know plenty of wealthy people with completely messed up children...and I know lots of kids who grew up middle-lower class who are not only stable but incredibly successful and even wealthy.
I think raising a child with morals and self-esteem speaks volumes over raising a child based solely on finances.
With that said...we are not TTC until we are living in a house - this isn't based on anything other than the choice that works for us.
Message edited 6/9/2005 4:37:04 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:35 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: could be controversial
oops
Message edited 6/9/2005 4:36:50 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:36 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Colleen9304
Yes, I think everyone has the right to have a child...do I think that means they all should? Heck NO!
I don't think finances should be the only factor in raising a child. I know plenty of wealthy people with completely messed up children...and I know lots of kids who grew up middle-lower middle class who are not only stable but incredibly successful and even wealthy.
I think raising a child with morals and self-esteem speaks volumes over raising a child based solely on finances.
With that said...we are not TTC until we are living in a house - this isn't based on anything other than the choice that works for us.
I like how you said its the choice that works for you. Because people truly have differnet wants and needs.
My mom never owned a house , ever..we lived with my grandmother and then apts. I never thought of oh we dont have a house..ever. I really dont see how a child could be less happy in an apt. then a house? Whats the difference?
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:37 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Colleen9304
Yes, I think everyone has the right to have a child...do I think that means they all should? Heck NO!
I don't think finances should be the only factor in raising a child. I know plenty of wealthy people with completely messed up children...and I know lots of kids who grew up middle-lower middle class who are not only stable but incredibly successful and even wealthy.
I think raising a child with morals and self-esteem speaks volumes over raising a child based solely on finances.
With that said...we are not TTC until we are living in a house - this isn't based on anything other than the choice that works for us.
I like how you said its the choice that works for you. Because people truly have differnet wants and needs.
My mom never owned a house , ever..we lived with my grandmother and then apts. I never thought of oh we dont have a house..ever. I really dont see how a child could be less happy in an apt. then a house? Whats the difference?
Ver well put.....it's all a matter of what works for YOU. And fortunately, this is a free society so if someone doesn't agree with whta I think is right for me, that's tough titties on them.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:39 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:40 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Colleen9304
Yes, I think everyone has the right to have a child...do I think that means they all should? Heck NO!
I don't think finances should be the only factor in raising a child. I know plenty of wealthy people with completely messed up children...and I know lots of kids who grew up middle-lower middle class who are not only stable but incredibly successful and even wealthy.
I think raising a child with morals and self-esteem speaks volumes over raising a child based solely on finances.
With that said...we are not TTC until we are living in a house - this isn't based on anything other than the choice that works for us.
I like how you said its the choice that works for you. Because people truly have differnet wants and needs.
My mom never owned a house , ever..we lived with my grandmother and then apts. I never thought of oh we dont have a house..ever. I really dont see how a child could be less happy in an apt. then a house? Whats the difference?
I think the homeowner situation is meant as if you have a desire to become a homeowner, the prime time to do it would be before the kids come along, while you are in DINK.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:40 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
I really dont see how a child could be less happy in an apt. then a house? Whats the difference?
So long as there is a roof over their head, there is no difference. It's a personal choice and I think it's sad that people are judged for it...imo.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:40 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
I really think the bottom line should have NOTHING to do with finances...they can change in an instant...My BIL worked with 3 children , with a house struggling for YEARS..then they won the lottery.
My sisters husband was injured in an accident, she was a SAHM for 10 years, they have 3 cars, they had to get food stamps for almost a year at one point.
A situation can be changed..
The questions should be can you afford enough love and stability to provide a good life for a child. Money is not an issue, unless you need to dress them in $100 outfits with $60 sneakers and a private school.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:42 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Im also wondering what exactly do you all consider finacially ready?
The ability to feed, clothe a child
A college fund set up
a large sum saved in the bank?
We kinda live by the today not tommorow motto and may be why we ( me and dh) think like we do.
i think that totally depends on EACH person obviously
IMO yes i would like to OWN a home, Be able to Feed my child, cloth my child, give him things that i feel he deserves to live..what i consider a happy childhood..
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:43 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
why?? What would the child not be getting that it absoulutly needs?
eta- Im trying to see what it is about money that a child needs?
Message edited 6/9/2005 4:44:13 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:43 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
I really think the bottom line should have NOTHING to do with finances...they can change in an instant...My BIL worked with 3 children , with a house struggling for YEARS..then they won the lottery.
My sisters husband was injured in an accident, she was a SAHM for 10 years, they have 3 cars, they had to get food stamps for almost a year at one point.
A situation can be changed..
The questions should be can you afford enough love and stability to provide a good life for a child. Money is not an issue, unless you need to dress them in $100 outfits with $60 sneakers and a private school.
Donna, I think you hit the nail on the head with that last line there -- OUCH a few are saying right now...
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:45 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
I really think the bottom line should have NOTHING to do with finances...they can change in an instant...My BIL worked with 3 children , with a house struggling for YEARS..then they won the lottery.
My sisters husband was injured in an accident, she was a SAHM for 10 years, they have 3 cars, they had to get food stamps for almost a year at one point.
A situation can be changed..
The questions should be can you afford enough love and stability to provide a good life for a child. Money is not an issue, unless you need to dress them in $100 outfits with $60 sneakers and a private school.
but donna..that isn't realistic...
and NOTHING i want my life to be like...
situations can change of course...BUT winning the lotto or hoping for it to change my life is a little silly imo
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:46 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by SoinLove
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Janice
I personally think it is better(shielding self from flames) When a couple decides to have a baby, and parents are gone from 8-6:30 everyday, then I think that is a problem. Why have a child if you can only be around full time on the weekends?
I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to agree with this as well
Agreed! Ive seen it first hand.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:46 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
Im also wondering what exactly do you all consider finacially ready?
The ability to feed, clothe a child
A college fund set up
a large sum saved in the bank?
We kinda live by the today not tommorow motto and may be why we ( me and dh) think like we do.
i think that totally depends on EACH person obviously
IMO yes i would like to OWN a home, Be able to Feed my child, cloth my child, give him things that i feel he deserves to live..what i consider a happy childhood..
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:46 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
why?? What would the child not be getting that it absoulutly needs?
eta- Im trying to see what it is about money that a child needs?
My opinion with the money thing is that money problems can lead to a lot of stress - which can lead to fighting. That would lead to not the best situation for a child. That would be my main concern with having money problems.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:46 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
why?? What would the child not be getting that it absoulutly needs?
eta- Im trying to see what it is about money that a child needs?
are you serious?
Love isn't all a child needs
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:47 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
I really think the bottom line should have NOTHING to do with finances...they can change in an instant...My BIL worked with 3 children , with a house struggling for YEARS..then they won the lottery.
My sisters husband was injured in an accident, she was a SAHM for 10 years, they have 3 cars, they had to get food stamps for almost a year at one point.
A situation can be changed..
The questions should be can you afford enough love and stability to provide a good life for a child. Money is not an issue, unless you need to dress them in $100 outfits with $60 sneakers and a private school.
but donna..that isn't realistic...
and NOTHING i want my life to be like...
situations can change of course...BUT winning the lotto or hoping for it to change my life is a little silly imo
I dont think you saw my point. Everyone judged him for not being able to really give his kids what they needed...people were shocked they had a third...now those people have nothing to say.
Message edited 6/9/2005 4:49:54 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:47 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
why?? What would the child not be getting that it absoulutly needs?
eta- Im trying to see what it is about money that a child needs?
are you serious?
Love isn't all a child needs
what does it need then? So far no-one has been able to actually answer this?
Anyone can feed a child and cloth them..so what else do they need??
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| Posted 6/9/05 4:49 PM |
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