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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: could be controversial
I think that if someone is on welfare already or can't afford to live on their own already then they should wait to have kids.
But I mean if you have a home (apartment or house or whatever) and you arent living on the street or in your car...and if you have medical coverage for you and your kids...and you can provide food, clothes, love, etc...then I think you can have kids.
But IMO if it comes down to the fact that you cant provide the basics for them, then you probably should wait.
Everyone is different...some people have family to help while others want to do it on their own...some have financial help while others dont need it.
I can see everyone's point, really I can. Every situation is different. But if you can't afford yourself you really cant afford a child.
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Posted 6/9/05 5:07 PM  |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by VirginiaDeb
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Jax430
I think one of the problems is that we're talking different levels of financial difficulty. There are people who live paycheck to paycheck but can provide a child with a secure, stable home life. They can't afford luxuries, and that's fine. I personally would not want to have a child until DH and I could provide more for them, but that's my own personal preference.
Then there are the people who become involved in the social service agencies who keep having children. They are living in public housing, getting their food from food banks and using food stamps and getting donations of clothing. They live in terrible neighborhoods filled with crime. I do not and cannot understand why people in these situations continue to have children.
That I have to agree with.
I agree too.
me 3....
... I just wanted to add that I don't knock anyone for wanting to have certain luxuries. Everyone has their own life preferences & lifestyles that they want to lead... to each his own.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:09 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average" 
Message edited 6/9/2005 5:11:31 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:10 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:12 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by kelleherkm
But IMO if it comes down to the fact that you cant provide the basics for them, then you probably should wait.
OOOOr... one can sacrifice having that Lexus SUV for a 4-door Toyota, or giveup purchasing top of the line cosmetics, or... etc, etc...
When there's a will, there's a way. And if one can't think past their unnecessary spends, then they should rethink having babies, because they need to be top priority.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:13 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank. 
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:14 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:15 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Message edited 6/9/2005 5:15:53 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:15 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by kelleherkm
I think that if someone is on welfare already or can't afford to live on their own already then they should wait to have kids.
But I mean if you have a home (apartment or house or whatever) and you arent living on the street or in your car...and if you have medical coverage for you and your kids...and you can provide food, clothes, love, etc...then I think you can have kids.
But IMO if it comes down to the fact that you cant provide the basics for them, then you probably should wait.
Everyone is different...some people have family to help while others want to do it on their own...some have financial help while others dont need it.
I can see everyone's point, really I can. Every situation is different. But if you can't afford yourself you really cant afford a child.
i agree!
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:16 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:16 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by kelleherkm
But IMO if it comes down to the fact that you cant provide the basics for them, then you probably should wait.
OOOOr... one can sacrifice having that Lexus SUV for a 4-door Toyota, or giveup purchasing top of the line cosmetics, or... etc, etc...
When there's a will, there's a way. And if one can't think past their unnecessary spends, then they should rethink having babies, because they need to be top priority.
Oooor if you're living in your Lexus then maybe you should buy a hyundai and live in an apartment!
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:16 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
Same here?
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:17 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
Does a child need for mommy to have a brand new Fendi bag, or Broadband cable to chat on LIF? I agree, a child needs love, stability, & security, but within that comes sacrifice... if you're not rich, anyway.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:17 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by june262004
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
IMO it certainly does
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:17 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
Insurance, medicine diapers clothing food heat proper education ,the tools needed for a child to develop,
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:17 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by kelleherkm
Posted by Lichi
Posted by kelleherkm
But IMO if it comes down to the fact that you cant provide the basics for them, then you probably should wait.
OOOOr... one can sacrifice having that Lexus SUV for a 4-door Toyota, or giveup purchasing top of the line cosmetics, or... etc, etc...
When there's a will, there's a way. And if one can't think past their unnecessary spends, then they should rethink having babies, because they need to be top priority.
Oooor if you're living in your Lexus then maybe you should buy a hyundai and live in an apartment!
DEFINITELY! lolololol
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:18 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
Yes...why? When you have a child on the way, you learn to make neccessary sacrifices so that the child will have what it needs. I'm sure she's not going to keep buying those things when she has a child depending on her. She buys it now merely because she can
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:19 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by june262004
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
IMO it certainly does
Does that mean that because a child has smart parents that provided well for him/her, that the child will be happy with their lives, and feel loved? Money doesn't buy happiness.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:19 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
Does a child need for mommy to have a brand new Fendi bag, or Broadband cable to chat on LIF? I agree, a child needs love, stability, & security, but within that comes sacrifice... if you're not rich, anyway.
absolutely...i agree
but i am not going to subject my child to living paycheck to paycheck..
always worrying if i can pay for thing
NOT ME
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:20 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
Does a child need for mommy to have a brand new Fendi bag, or Broadband cable to chat on LIF? I agree, a child needs love, stability, & security, but within that comes sacrifice... if you're not rich, anyway.
no ...but a child does not need to worry if mommy can get her medicine or clean clothes , or school supplies or the basic necessities
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:20 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
Insurance, medicine diapers clothing food heat proper education ,the tools needed for a child to develop,
I am so Confused  Not that it takes a lot  But I thought we all agreed that was what a child needed Along with LOVE?
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:20 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
Does a child need for mommy to have a brand new Fendi bag, or Broadband cable to chat on LIF? I agree, a child needs love, stability, & security, but within that comes sacrifice... if you're not rich, anyway.
no ...but a child does not need to worry if mommy can get her medicine or clean clothes , or school supplies or the basic necessities
How does the child know? Does he/she keep track of the check book?
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:21 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Redhead
Posted by june262004
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
IMO it certainly does
Does that mean that because a child has smart parents that provided well for him/her, that the child will be happy with their lives, and feel loved? Money doesn't buy happiness.
Being a poor sahm doesn't mean a happy child either BAlance is the KEY just cause I want a child doesn't mean I should have one
Message edited 6/9/2005 5:22:21 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:21 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
Does a child need for mommy to have a brand new Fendi bag, or Broadband cable to chat on LIF? I agree, a child needs love, stability, & security, but within that comes sacrifice... if you're not rich, anyway.
absolutely...i agree
but i am not going to subject my child to living paycheck to paycheck..
always worrying if i can pay for thing
NOT ME
that's great. I'm sure we all would wish that we didn't have to subject our children to that. However, many families do struggle, and have to live that way (hopefully temporarily), but it doesn't take away from surviving.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:22 PM |
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TheInfamousOTG
Waiting for Lil' M....
Member since 5/05 3468 total posts
Name:
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Re: could be controversial
All i know is that I pay high child support payments, and I'm not complaining.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:22 PM |
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