| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: << 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 |
~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
I really think the bottom line should have NOTHING to do with finances...they can change in an instant...My BIL worked with 3 children , with a house struggling for YEARS..then they won the lottery.
My sisters husband was injured in an accident, she was a SAHM for 10 years, they have 3 cars, they had to get food stamps for almost a year at one point.
A situation can be changed..
The questions should be can you afford enough love and stability to provide a good life for a child. Money is not an issue, unless you need to dress them in $100 outfits with $60 sneakers and a private school.
EXACTLY!
If your child doesn't have your love, support and respect...if your child isn't taught to love themself, as well as others - what is money going to do for them???
(I'm talking necessities such as food, shelter and clothing - aside.)
Message edited 6/9/2005 4:49:47 PM.
|
Posted 6/9/05 4:49 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:50 PM |
| |
|
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
why?? What would the child not be getting that it absoulutly needs?
eta- Im trying to see what it is about money that a child needs?
A child doesn't need money. A child needs love, shelter, clothes & food... nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is superficial.
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:50 PM |
| |
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
IMO and i know it cuz i experienced it first hand
money means nothing
if youy have a stable family and love to give, that's all that matters
imo that is VERY naive to say
why?? What would the child not be getting that it absoulutly needs?
eta- Im trying to see what it is about money that a child needs?
A child doesn't need money. A child needs love, shelter, clothes & food... nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is superficial.
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
You said it better that what I could say, and Alia also deleted what I wrote.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:51 PM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
i am not talking about going above and beyond...
So you are living paycheck to paycheck
Something happens to your car.YOU CAN"T PAY FOR IT..Your child needs to go to the doctors...
HOW DO YOU GET THERE?
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:52 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank. 
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:52 PM |
| |
|
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Lichi
A child doesn't need money. A child needs love, shelter, clothes & food... nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is superficial.
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
You said it better that what I could say, and Alia also deleted what I wrote.
She must not like drama either...
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:53 PM |
| |
|
june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
i am not talking about going above and beyond...
So you are living paycheck to paycheck
Something happens to your car.YOU CAN"T PAY FOR IT..Your child needs to go to the doctors...
HOW DO YOU GET THERE?
A BUS! It cost what 1.50 Im sure someone in your family or a friend has a car!
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:53 PM |
| |
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Lichi
A child doesn't need money. A child needs love, shelter, clothes & food... nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is superficial.
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
You said it better that what I could say, and Alia also deleted what I wrote.
She must not like drama either...
I guess not.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:54 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
i am not talking about going above and beyond...
So you are living paycheck to paycheck
Something happens to your car.YOU CAN"T PAY FOR IT..Your child needs to go to the doctors...
HOW DO YOU GET THERE?
Good point...something again cdepending on circumstance...ME...a paycheck to paycheck person has two cars so I wouldnt have the problem. I also have 6 sisters, a mom, a MIL, and 2 BILS's etc who could help at the drop of a hat...
Still dont see your point?
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:54 PM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
excuse me Donna...I am NOT being dramatic...
I am talking reality.
I think YOU are taking this a little personally
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:54 PM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Good point...something again cdepending on circumstance...ME...a paycheck to paycheck person has two cars so I wouldnt have the problem. I also have 6 sisters, a mom, a MIL, and 2 BILS's etc who could help at the drop of a hat...
Still dont see your point?
YOU are personalizing this...and i am out
I said how i feel
so be it
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:56 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
we are talking reality though, your being dramatic jenn.....
None of us ( that I know) are a step away from welfare, and I wasnt talking about welfare people, unless for example something horrible happened.
And living paycheck to paycheck doesnt mean we are not surviving?
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
excuse me Donna...I am NOT being dramatic...
I am talking reality.
I think YOU are taking this a little personally
not at all..Im debating you is all..I think we see it from different sides of the coin...Why would I take it personally. I'm telling you though how I would do it as someone who has less then others...trying to show those who disagree how and why it works.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:56 PM |
| |
|
SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
A child doesn't need money. A child needs love, shelter, clothes & food... nothing more, nothing less. Everything else is superficial.
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
Very well put
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:57 PM |
| |
|
eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Colleen9304
Posted by dm24angel
I really dont see how a child could be less happy in an apt. then a house? Whats the difference?
So long as there is a roof over their head, there is no difference. It's a personal choice and I think it's sad that people are judged for it...imo.
It's an individual thing for sure... my grandparents never owned their primary residence and one of my uncles to this day will criticize my grandfather for it...would his life have been any different if my grandparents owned the house he lived in? I seriously doubt it...but he judges anyway.
I grew up in apartments as well, and that created a huge desire for me to be a homeowner someday...DH on the other hand never thought for a second that he'd own a home, nor did he have any real desire to do so. That is, until he met me.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:58 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
Good point...something again cdepending on circumstance...ME...a paycheck to paycheck person has two cars so I wouldnt have the problem. I also have 6 sisters, a mom, a MIL, and 2 BILS's etc who could help at the drop of a hat...
Still dont see your point?
YOU are personalizing this...and i am out
I said how i feel
so be it
jenn, I like to understand all sides of the story, like you DO...so Im asking you...I'm telling you how I see it, and I dont want you getting all upset when Im asking you to prove your point, or explain better how you feel..THATS ALL.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:58 PM |
| |
|
Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
I think it's naive to impose the belief to a child that they're better off if they had a bigger place, or a better car, or anything at all. A child is taught to recognize superficial items... but as long as the family is happy (starting with their parents), life is good in their eyes.
i am not talking about going above and beyond...
So you are living paycheck to paycheck
Something happens to your car.YOU CAN"T PAY FOR IT..Your child needs to go to the doctors...
HOW DO YOU GET THERE?
Some people can't even afford a car though... and they make ends meet. I live in Queens, and though I have a car, I don't need it. I can take any bus, train, or even call a cab to take my kids to the doctor.
Personally, I don't & wouldn't live paycheck to paycheck, and would love to have all the things in the world, but I'm well in tune with reality... I'm not Trump or Bill Gate's kid, I'm responsible for my own money, and what I do with it. And if I have a kid, and still live in an apt, as long as they're not mal-nutrititioned, and feel the love that we have for them, that extra cash (or nothing at all) doesn't hold a candle to how happy I'd be.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:58 PM |
| |
|
heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
|
Re: could be controversial
The reality of the situation is that many people may never achieve better then living paycheck to paycheck. So, they should not have children no matter how much they want them? That is IMO unrealistic.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 4:59 PM |
| |
|
VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
I mentioned the fights... I know that varies from situation to situation, but I know from experience that money has led to a lot of fights with my parents. My dad lives in a house he can't afford, in a neighborhood where almost every driveway has a mercedes, bmw, lexus, etc. in the driveway.
So, of course, my siblings want that. And sometimes they give in (mostly my step-mom) and that has led to a lot of fights.
In this situation, they are just living above their means... But I know a majority of their fights have been about money. A few years ago my parents (mom and dad) got in a huge fight over who was going to claim me on their taxes - I felt awful - like all I was was a financial burden - I had to hear it from both sides, and seriously it made me, the child, feel like crap.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:00 PM |
| |
|
Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
|
Re: could be controversial
I think one of the problems is that we're talking different levels of financial difficulty. There are people who live paycheck to paycheck but can provide a child with a secure, stable home life. They can't afford luxuries, and that's fine. I personally would not want to have a child until DH and I could provide more for them, but that's my own personal preference.
Then there are the people who become involved in the social service agencies who keep having children. They are living in public housing, getting their food from food banks and using food stamps and getting donations of clothing. They live in terrible neighborhoods filled with crime. I do not and cannot understand why people in these situations continue to have children.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:01 PM |
| |
|
~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by dm24angel
What does owning a home though have to do with having a baby? I truly would like to understand.
People on welfare can feed and cloth their children?
So what is it that a child should have for a happy childhood?
Although Im not saying people knowingly a foot into welfare should have kids, I think that Im speaking more of the paycheck to paycheck type of people here.
IT provide a sense of security.
I WOULD NEVER bring a child into this world to be on welfare...Just won't
And if you can barely survive living pay check to pay check YOURSELF....WHY add someone into it?
I think a home in general - whether rented or owned - provides a sense of security (however false it may be). I don't think every person who WANTS a child, NEEDS to OWN a home first. There are plenty of people who - for whatever reason - just flat out do not want to own a home. This doesn't make them any less worthy to be a perent nor does it make them less responsible.
I don't think anyone here is talking about welfare...
I remember the days of living paycheck to paycheck - NOT fun. I wouldn't say I was "barely surviving"...but it left me feeling really nervous and uneasy - something *I* definetly don't want to pass on to a child.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:01 PM |
| |
|
SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by heidla
The reality of the situation is that many people may never achieve better then living paycheck to paycheck. So, they should not have children no matter how much they want them? That is IMO unrealistic.
Very true.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:01 PM |
| |
|
dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by VirginiaDeb
Posted by dm24angel
also- someone else said money probelms create fights...that depends...me and DH hardly ever fight, period, and never over money because we agreed lifes too short..but I know people who are always always fighting with their wives/husbands over dumb things...personally I then feel more qualified to provide a "happy childhood" to my child then them with money in the bank.
I mentioned the fights... I know that varies from situation to situation, but I know from experience that money has led to a lot of fights with my parents. My dad lives in a house he can't afford, in a neighborhood where almost every driveway has a mercedes, bmw, lexus, etc. in the driveway.
So, of course, my siblings want that. And sometimes they give in (mostly my step-mom) and that has led to a lot of fights.
In this situation, they are just living above their means... But I know a majority of their fights have been about money. A few years ago my parents (mom and dad) got in a huge fight over who was going to claim me on their taxes - I felt awful - like all I was was a financial burden - I had to hear it from both sides, and seriously it made me, the child, feel like crap.
I completly understand!
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:01 PM |
| |
|
Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Jax430
I think one of the problems is that we're talking different levels of financial difficulty. There are people who live paycheck to paycheck but can provide a child with a secure, stable home life. They can't afford luxuries, and that's fine. I personally would not want to have a child until DH and I could provide more for them, but that's my own personal preference.
Then there are the people who become involved in the social service agencies who keep having children. They are living in public housing, getting their food from food banks and using food stamps and getting donations of clothing. They live in terrible neighborhoods filled with crime. I do not and cannot understand why people in these situations continue to have children.
That I have to agree with.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:02 PM |
| |
|
VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
|
Re: could be controversial
Posted by Aliasmom
Posted by Jax430
I think one of the problems is that we're talking different levels of financial difficulty. There are people who live paycheck to paycheck but can provide a child with a secure, stable home life. They can't afford luxuries, and that's fine. I personally would not want to have a child until DH and I could provide more for them, but that's my own personal preference.
Then there are the people who become involved in the social service agencies who keep having children. They are living in public housing, getting their food from food banks and using food stamps and getting donations of clothing. They live in terrible neighborhoods filled with crime. I do not and cannot understand why people in these situations continue to have children.
That I have to agree with.
I agree too.
|
| Posted 6/9/05 5:07 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: << 2 3 4 [5] 6 7 8 |
