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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Redhead
Posted by june262004
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
But what makes it a better life?
IMO it certainly does
Does that mean that because a child has smart parents that provided well for him/her, that the child will be happy with their lives, and feel loved? Money doesn't buy happiness.
are you equating smart=money?
a smart parent takes care of their child, loves it...that is what i am talking about..
OF COURSE MONEY DOESN"T BUY HAPPINESS
i never said it does
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Posted 6/9/05 5:23 PM  |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average" 
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
Message edited 6/9/2005 5:24:24 PM.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:23 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
How does the child know? Does he/she keep track of the check book? 
are you kidding?
A child is EXTREMELY PERCEPTIVE
and does know...
I KNEW....
I child senses tension, fear in their parents...that is a DEFIANTE
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:25 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
A child needs stability and security love doesn't always provide that yes it is important for the development of the child so it having financial stability. Living paycheck to paycheck is fine for me but not if i have a child they deserve a better life.
Does a child need for mommy to have a brand new Fendi bag, or Broadband cable to chat on LIF? I agree, a child needs love, stability, & security, but within that comes sacrifice... if you're not rich, anyway.
no ...but a child does not need to worry if mommy can get her medicine or clean clothes , or school supplies or the basic necessities
How does the child know? Does he/she keep track of the check book?
Children totally are aware if there is finacial difficulties
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:26 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
There's no reason to take this discussion to a personal level.
What she does NOW is not the same as what she would do if she had a child. She already said this.
People's priorities change when a child is involved. I don't think we should be so quick to judge other people's PERSONAL priorities or lifestyle's.
IMO.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:27 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Insurance, medicine diapers clothing food heat proper education ,the tools needed for a child to develop,
Just like love does not mean a "better life" neither do any of those items. You can't boil some things down. Life is complicated and everybody has different standards of what they want. Some people actually are prefectly happy living paycheck to paycheck. Others are not happy and sitting on a pile of money. Everyone places importance on different aspects of life.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:27 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
I have nice bags that I get as gifts. I live paycheck to pay check If I were able to get pregnant My DH would stop buying that stuff.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:27 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Colleen9304
Posted by unbelievable
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
There's no reason to take this discussion to a personal level.
What she does NOW is not the same as what she would do if she had a child. She already said this.
People's priorities change when a child is involved. I don't think we should be so quick to judge other people's PERSONAL priorities or lifestyle's.
IMO.
Not personal i am just quoting a statement so please no need to defend I am not attacking merely saying
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:27 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Colleen9304
Posted by unbelievable
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
There's no reason to take this discussion to a personal level.
What she does NOW is not the same as what she would do if she had a child. She already said this.
People's priorities change when a child is involved. I don't think we should be so quick to judge other people's PERSONAL priorities or lifestyle's.
IMO.
very well said.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:28 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by Lichi
Does that mean that because a child has smart parents that provided well for him/her, that the child will be happy with their lives, and feel loved? Money doesn't buy happiness.
Being a poor sahm doesn't mean a happy child either BAlance is the KEY just cause I want a child doesn't mean I should have one
IMO, I don't think any of us know what it is to be a poor sahm. Living in the US we are not poor... compared to what people in Africa or South America deal with.
My whole family (maternal) lives in Colombia... and they ALLLLLL live check to check. My poor grandmother has debts left & right, and we clear it for her. Don't need to go too much into it, but everytime I go down there, I TRULY appreciate the zest of life that all of them have out there. They don't care about my money, nor about the superficial things I bring them... they just love me & are happy regardless... I think we lose sight of living our lives as best we can by all the unnecessary things. I'm extremely humble because of what I've seen, and noticed that we don't really appreciate what we have here, and are always pushing for more, when all that stuff doesn't buy happiness.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:29 PM |
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Tany
Becoming a different woman
Member since 5/05 24460 total posts
Name:
Tania
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by Lichi
Does that mean that because a child has smart parents that provided well for him/her, that the child will be happy with their lives, and feel loved? Money doesn't buy happiness.
Being a poor sahm doesn't mean a happy child either BAlance is the KEY just cause I want a child doesn't mean I should have one
IMO, I don't think any of us know what it is to be a poor sahm. Living in the US we are not poor... compared to what people in Africa or South America deal with.
My whole family (maternal) lives in Colombia... and they ALLLLLL live check to check. My poor grandmother has debts left & right, and we clear it for her. Don't need to go too much into it, but everytime I go down there, I TRULY appreciate the zest of life that all of them have out there. They don't care about my money, nor about the superficial things I bring them... they just love me & are happy regardless... I think we lose sight of living our lives as best we can by all the unnecessary things. I'm extremely humble because of what I've seen, and noticed that we don't really appreciate what we have here, and are always pushing for more, when all that stuff doesn't buy happiness.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:29 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
How does the child know? Does he/she keep track of the check book?
are you kidding?
A child is EXTREMELY PERCEPTIVE
and does know...
I KNEW....
I child senses tension, fear in their parents...that is a DEFIANTE
I was joking... but, I agree... kids are extremely perceptive... which is why I mentioned before that as long as you're happy, the kids feel their life is good.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:30 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but to take it to such a personal level is just rude.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:31 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by heidla
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but to take it to such a personal level is just rude.
UMMMMMMM NOt rude nor a personal attack it was put out there so i quoted it nothing personal to Donna I know the girl
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:34 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: could be controversial
EVERYONE.... I think we all are in agreement, in one way or another.... just that certain things throw us off track. We all feel that a smart parent takes care of their child any which way they can.
Redhead... I'm sorry to misinterpreting you. I thought you felt that money brought happiness, with the superficial items.
No bad blood here ... love ya all. Now I'm going home...
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:37 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
How does the child know? Does he/she keep track of the check book?
are you kidding?
A child is EXTREMELY PERCEPTIVE
and does know...
I KNEW....
I child senses tension, fear in their parents...that is a DEFIANTE
I was joking... but, I agree... kids are extremely perceptive... which is why I mentioned before that as long as you're happy, the kids feel their life is good.
but i guess i think that not fearing and worrying about their parents finances is apart of being a happy kid...
Not being able to participate in certain activities and such cause mom and dad can't pay for it...WOULD BREAK MY HEART..
I (AND I AM SPEAKING FOR ME) just couldn't do that...
I have anxiety issues NOW...and if i can avoid certain things/situations i will...
i am not saying people in apts shouldn't have children...that is a MY personal choice
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:38 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
UMMMMMMM NOt rude nor a personal attack it was put out there so i quoted it nothing personal to Donna I know the girl
Sorry, it just seemed a little uncalled for is all.
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| Posted 6/9/05 5:39 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
Come on what???
Im 30, and have no kids, why cant I spend my money the way I want? I dont believe in saving it up...I could die tommorow and I will felt I have LIVED...and WELL...
SO...When I do have a child and I no longer want or need a new coach bag and mascara then my child gets that money..
I was trying to say I made myself look poorer then I was because I tend to buy expensive things..BECAUSE I CAN, I have no children.
So why's your point? It was lost on me?
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| Posted 6/9/05 6:11 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by heidla
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but to take it to such a personal level is just rude.
UMMMMMMM NOt rude nor a personal attack it was put out there so i quoted it nothing personal to Donna I know the girl
and lisa, since you KNOW me, I did find it rude, since you know I have two brand news cars, a happy marriage, a extremly supportive family and money to buy these things. You've wished me luck TTC and have said I would be a great Mom..AND you know I buy $30 mascaras, yet sometimes only have a little left over each month to spare..so why now do you say that on here??? Just curious?
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| Posted 6/9/05 6:15 PM |
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by june262004
Well Welfare is a different story. I didn't think of Welfare when I read the topic
I did, right away, probably because of where I work.
I would never tell a person not to have a child because of finances. However, I would discourage people from having five children because of finances. I see that so often, kids who come from families where there are six, seven, eight kids and often the families can barely afford to care for them. They might be loved but usually they don't get enough attention (because the family is so big) and there is no money for adequate health and dental care, etc.
I know my parents wanted a fourth child but made the choice not to have one in part because it would have been a financial hardship.
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| Posted 6/9/05 8:46 PM |
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Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
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Re: could be controversial
I don't think it should be- actually I think a test needs to be designed to pass to be able to be a parent . . . as harsh as this sounds, some people just should not be parents . . . My feelings don't have much to do with finances, more to do with emotional stability
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| Posted 6/9/05 8:51 PM |
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
I don't see that as such a problem. It's not like it's a drug addition.
I don't want to speak for Donna or anyone else, but I know that I too spend money on frivolous things now when I could save the money instead. I consider myself ready to have a child. I have a career with great benefits that will benefit my kids, a solid relationship with DH, etc. When I do hopefully find myself PG I fully plan to be more aware of my spending. In the meantime, why not enjoy my money?
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| Posted 6/9/05 9:04 PM |
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btrflygrl
me and baby #3!
Member since 5/05 12013 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: could be controversial
it's anyones right to CREATE a child, but not everyone should breed
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| Posted 6/9/05 10:55 PM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by heidla
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by june262004
Posted by unbelievable
Posted by dm24angel
Kathy- EXACTLY my point..very well said.
If you cant afford yourself, you cant afford a child...I like that and agree completly!
eta-I also wanted to say I have called my self a paycheck to paycheck person, I should clarify that those paychecks buy me lots of coach handbags, and $30 mascaras, eliminate that and I think I would be "above average"
and not ready for a child then
Why?
PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK 30 $MASCARAS and you want a KID COME on
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but to take it to such a personal level is just rude.
UMMMMMMM NOt rude nor a personal attack it was put out there so i quoted it nothing personal to Donna I know the girl
and lisa, since you KNOW me, I did find it rude, since you know I have two brand news cars, a happy marriage, a extremly supportive family and money to buy these things. You've wished me luck TTC and have said I would be a great Mom..AND you know I buy $30 mascaras, yet sometimes only have a little left over each month to spare..so why now do you say that on here??? Just curious?
It wasn't a personal attack Donna and yes i do think you would make a good mother ...I am glad your marriage is happy and you have a supportive family I am not sure where you are going with that
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| Posted 6/10/05 9:16 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: could be controversial
Posted by unbelievable
It wasn't a personal attack Donna and yes i do think you would make a good mother ...I am glad your marriage is happy and you have a supportive family I am not sure where you are going with that
No not an attack, but judging me...you clearly said that means not ready for a child...Thats silly to me..you may not have understood my point when I said what I did. I was trying to explain how Im not as "poor" as I made it seem, because I buy frivolous things that I would never ever consider important once I had a child/children.
Where I was going with it was showing how much I do have, and explaining why things I had besides EXTRA money to offer a baby.
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| Posted 6/10/05 9:21 AM |
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