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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
Based on this rationale, all murderers mentally ill/unstable.
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Posted 12/18/12 5:14 PM  |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by maymama
Posted by MrsFlatbread
Posted by maymama
wow, all i can say is wow.
read this article ladies 
i do NOT blame this woman may she rest in peace. (now the question of why she purchased all those guns DOES stand out in my head but until further information is available on that ... i digress)
I am Adam Lanza's mother
Also, where was it confirmed that he had "mental illness'?" I've heard speculation of Autism or Aspergers. His family has described him as "different, quiet" but not dangerous.
Do we blame the parents of serial killers? There is just not enough information yet. My tune may change but we need all the details first.
And for the record, Autism and Aspergers D/O are not categorized as mental illness, they are Development Disorders.
yes, exactly!
I dont think him having autism has anything to do with this. that's a separate issue. I read he had a personality disorder and other mental issues besides that.
I feel bad judging her because she is a victim, but I just feel angry that she had guns in the house knowing her son had a mental issue, and from reading a few articles, it seems everyone was aware he had mental issues not just autism. Autism is totally separate from this. But the media is throwing things out that are not all facts, so I guess it's best to wait and see (if we ever find out the truth).
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:14 PM |
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jennandrob
mom of two!
Member since 5/05 4368 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by jax1
i feel the same. im angry that she had those weapons when she had a son with mental issues.
YUP, same here.
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:14 PM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
And I blame her son of course above all else. He did it. I feel horrible because she was murdered. I feel horrible for her too. She was a victim. The whole thing is disgusting and tragic on so many levels. But a part of me feels angry at her, but that doesn't change anything..
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:20 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by maymama
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
drugs? drugs can make people do some crazy things but they don't make you mentally ill. Not that I am saying this WAS drugs - keep your minds open!
I'm sure we will find out. They are running toxicology on the body.
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:25 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I think we just don't have enough information yet. There is too much still up in the air or pure speculation at this point.
If she really had the conversation that she felt she was "losing him" then, yes, she absolutely should have taken precautions. I mean, she should have taken precautions regardless...but we just don't know. Her son was an adult. If he hadn't exhibited any real signs of being mentally disturbed then maybe she let him know how to gain access to the guns in an emergency? Did they feel a threat to their home? the aunt says no...but I don't tell my family EVERYTHING. Some people who knew him say he was a nice kid who was very smart and wore button downs and pocket protectors while others peg him as a deranged goth. The reports and speculation is all over the map right now. disabilities have such a huge spectrum...and we don't have a real idea of where he fell on that spectrum.
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:35 PM |
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Dani
Life is about choices.
Member since 5/05 6532 total posts
Name:
Dani
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
i dont care how old her son is and what he is or is not diagnosed with... those guns should NOT have been accessible to him.
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:42 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by stinger
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
Based on this rationale, all murderers mentally ill/unstable.
Of course. Every murderer is mentally ill or unstable to some extent. There has to be something mentally off for anyone to even imagine taking one life, let alone 27.
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| Posted 12/18/12 5:47 PM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
You are not alone. I absolutely blame the gunman 100% l. I know she was murdered too, but for some reason i dont like when I see her picture grouped with those innocent children and workers.
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| Posted 12/18/12 8:38 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by stinger
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
Based on this rationale, all murderers mentally ill/unstable.
Of course. Every murderer is mentally ill or unstable to some extent. There has to be something mentally off for anyone to even imagine taking one life, let alone 27.
I agree, but that's our opinion. I'm talking in the eyes of the law, like an insanity plea. Doesn't that have to be proven?
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| Posted 12/18/12 8:45 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by stinger
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
Based on this rationale, all murderers mentally ill/unstable.
Ummmm.............yep. You got it. To murder anyone you have to be pretty f***ed up. I don't care what the shooters actual diagnosis was, he was clearly sick in the head to do what he did.
I have NO sympathy for the shooter and I do place blame on the mother. As a parent you should KNOW when something is not right with your kid and to have a house full of weapons when you have a child with issues living with you is negligent and just plain stupid. What was she thinking??!! Shame on her as a mother.
It's all so sad and truthfully, no answer as to why he did it or who is to blame will make this any easier to absorb and deal with. 
Message edited 12/18/2012 8:47:54 PM.
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| Posted 12/18/12 8:47 PM |
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tryin4baby3
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/12 425 total posts
Name:
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CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Obviously I blame Adam lanza, but I too place good amount of blame on the mother. Quite honestly, I'd blame anyone who has even one gun not locked up, accessible to others, whether they are mentally ill, have a developmental disorder or are 100% sane and normal. And I personally don't believe anyone needs that many weapons and assault weapons. She was careless with locking them away and securing them. She shares some blame for that, imo. I can't or won't say whether she or other family failed by seeing this or seeing a problem that needed help, because quite frankly I wasn't there day to day all those years and can't know what they saw felt or did.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:11 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by stinger
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
Based on this rationale, all murderers mentally ill/unstable.
They are.
With the rare self defense exception people who kill are mentally unstable.
Someone mentioned drugs, many, most drug addicts are self medicating their mental illness.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:14 PM |
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MeowMeow2
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 165 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by stinger
Posted by LadyBug1209
Posted by Paramount
Posted by maymama
i don't get why everyone is saying "mentally ill" and "mentally unstable?"
Did I miss something? Was there a confirmed diagnosis?
No. No there was not.
The guy walked into a school and murdered 20 5-6 year olds in cold blood... I don't need a diagnosis in writing to know this man was mentally ill/unstable. He clearly was.
Based on this rationale, all murderers mentally ill/unstable.
Aren't they? When I hear the report of a murder I've yet to say "now there's a level-headed citizen!" I think they'd pretty much be the epitome of unstable (aside from self defense killings and the like)
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:15 PM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I happen to agree with you. But he is to blame the most! So very unfortunate and avoidable
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:23 PM |
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by ali120206
Posted by LadyBug1209
I feel the same way...
If your son was that mentally ill and unstable, why on earth would you have SEVERAL guns within his reach? That is just a recipe for disaster.
This is how I feel as well.
100000% this
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:24 PM |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
Name:
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CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I do really feel bad blaming her for not having the guns locked up without knowing the details? Maybe she did keep the guns locked up, maybe he found the keys or the code? I don't know? I just have a hard time with all this blame without knowing the details. Obviously he was sick and I think we all just assume as parents we'd know, but really, there is a big difference between knowing your kid is off/strange and thinking he could go into a school and kill 26 people.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:30 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
now we are fighting about "IF" he was mental unstable. I guess mentally sound people kill their mothers, then go shoot up a building full of INNOCENT babies with semi automatics at point blank range. I dont care how high you are, drugs don't DO THAT.
i don't feel anything for the mother. she SHOULD have known WTF was going with her kid, that is OUR job. she should have gotten him help. and if she didnt know SHAME ON HER even more! she should NOT have been taking him to gun ranges and teaching a child who is OBVIOUSLY damaged how to shoot a gun and def not had weapons in the house. both of them are ultimately why those 27 people are not here.
The woman who wrote that blog "i am adam lanza mother"...did an interview, she sounds like a total space cadet "wellll he is so smart and he is writing his own novel, and he loves people, but yeah he has threatened me and others many times and yes he has gotten physical and he does scare me, i think he may be the next Adam, but what can i doooo ya know? but really its only when he gets reallllly mad"
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:31 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I am so fascinated by this case....I really should have gone into forensic psychology so there is obviously something wrong with me. Usually you hear so much about someone who committed a crime almost immediately after. Why are we not hearing any details about him or his mother? I agree that to kill someone you have to have some sort of mental instability and from the speculation about the mother being afraid of "doomsday" I am wondering if she was mentally unstable as well.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:35 PM |
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lilqtny
-Crossfit & pitbull addict
Member since 7/06 2830 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
She's just as much to blame as he is and I hope she burns by his side for eternity.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:37 PM |
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by lilqtny
She's just as much to blame as he is and I hope she burns by his side for eternity.
Agreed
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:38 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Mental illness did not do this.
Rage did this. Hate caused him to kill 20 children and 6 teachers.
I blame him and his mother for this. Get him help and for God's sakes don't keep guns in your house if you know your child is violent.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:42 PM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
Name:
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by Jacksmommy
I am so fascinated by this case....I really should have gone into forensic psychology so there is obviously something wrong with me. Usually you hear so much about someone who committed a crime almost immediately after. Why are we not hearing any details about him or his mother? I agree that to kill someone you have to have some sort of mental instability and from the speculation about the mother being afraid of "doomsday" I am wondering if she was mentally unstable as well.
I thought the same thing !! It took an entire day just to get a 10yr old pic of both of them!
The ladies here on the IF board had found a scammers FULL name, several personal profiles, work and home phone #s and address, family pictures, wedding date and venue, credit report in less than a DAY!!!!!!! and we still don't know anything about this kid!?!?!?!?
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:43 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
Posted by MrsDiamondgrlie
Posted by lilqtny
She's just as much to blame as he is and I hope she burns by his side for eternity.
Agreed
I think that it is horrible you both feel this way. Don't you realize that he wanted to kill, he planned to kill, so whether she had the guns or not, he would have killed?
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:49 PM |
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Re: CT shooting..god I'm not looking to start drama..but
I have worked with hundreds of parents. Some were amazing, some were plain awful.
Obviously we have no idea about this mom, but she fought the district his entire school career because she felt they were not doing right by him, and then pulled him out and home schooled him believing that she would do a better job.
She took him out of any kind of social situation, and sheltered him so he would never have to interact or deal with navigating the complexities of the outside world.
She even was going to move wherever he went to college.
This is a mom who either sheltered her son because:
A. She was overprotective of him and feared what others would do to him
B. She kept him on a short leash because she could not trust him
If she believed A - whether because she was in denial, or, she had no abilty to see the signs because when a person is alone, completely alone, with someone who knows him, there are no opportunities to see the signs, then I would not blame her. Maybe he snapped, had a psychotic moment that she truly never saw coming.
However, if she fell into the B category, and she hoped and prayed that somehow he would get out of that phase of his life, and somehow become healed by being educated, successful, and eventually employed and possibly married, then she should not have taught him how to shoot, or have weapons so easily accessible to him. There would have been more signs she should have responded to. To this, I would place blame.
I have seen parents that fit all of the above.
My personal opinion is that looking at the few photos of him shows me a very withdrawn, unusually odd looking kid. The photos shout that he's a square peg in a round hole. If pictures are showing that, she MUST have seen enough disturbing things from him to have gotten a few red flags. But, we don;t know how many she has seen in his life that did not lead to this murderous moment. Things for 10 years that scared her so much until she became numb to it and then simply habituated to his oddball behavior, settling into a new normal in her isolated home environment.
As much as I want to blame her, I can't help but wonder if maybe she did respond to so many false alarms, that she just got used to his weirdness and felt safe that it would never manifest as anything bigger.
We will never know.
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| Posted 12/18/12 9:59 PM |
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