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Do you drink at kid events/parties?
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
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L
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by jea128
Unfortunately, this post goes back to the whole, "why do we constantly have to judge others?" (And Lord knows I've been guilty in the past). For instance, if a group of parents you're not with are drinking while TOT'ing, and they're not affecting you (they're no beligerent, their children are being supervised, etc.), then why does it matter? If you don't feel you want to drink while TOT'ing, that's cool, but why do we always feel we have to judge others? KWIM?
I agree...its a huge turn-off to me when people constantly judge other people's actions, especially over the internet...live and let live...if it doesn't affect you directly, leave it alone...
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Posted 11/11/15 3:41 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Pinkisles
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Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
 totally agree
It's not such a huge deal!
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| Posted 11/11/15 3:48 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
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Jenn
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by nferrandi
Yes, I drink whenever there is alcohol at a party. And with our circle of friends, there's pretty much always a cooler of beer at a kids party. And I also drank while TOTing. All of the people I was with had to-go cups and we sa tons of other parents with red solo cups. I honestly don't see the problem.
I don't get the TOTing and drinking, honestly. Why can't a bunch of parents with kids go for an hour without hauling around drinks?
Isn't it illegal to walk around with an open alcoholic beverage?
Open containers of alcohol in public are illegal yes. (Pretty much everywhere except Vegas!). But I.doubt it's ever enforced in a neighborhood on Halloween. Cops really don't have the bandwidth for that on Halloween I don't think.
We TOTed with 2 cops this year (my BIL and his BFF are both town cops) and even THEY were drinking in red solo cups along the way. As long as you're not getting sloppy wasted and causing trouble, they really don't care.
ETA: To answer the OP, we drink all the time in front of our DS - parties, dinners, TOTing. In my opinion, why wouldn't I? He's seeing me do something perfectly legal. It's not bad. It's nothing he cant see me do. As long as we're drinking responsibly, there's nothing wrong with it.
Message edited 11/11/2015 4:15:31 PM.
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| Posted 11/11/15 3:53 PM |
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drpepper318
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Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
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me
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
I don't think there's anything wrong with drinking responsibly in front of your kids. I've never heard of drinking while trick or treating or at a kiddie party & do think it's a little odd. DH & I aren't big drinkers at all, it's just not our thing... we'll have the occasional sangria or margarita or beer, but not regularly, so for us, it's never come up as an issue. It's personal preference I think.
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| Posted 11/11/15 10:01 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Most people in my town drink while TOTing and we all drink at kids parties that are not held at a party place. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and I clearly remember adults drinking at parties when I was a kid.
I really don't understand the judgment surrounding this. How is it anyone's business or affect anyone else? It is a legal activity that adults are engaging in. They are not snorting lines of coke! I think it is important to model responsible drinking in front of children. In fact, I recall that in college it was those kids whose parents made drinking a taboo that tended to drink the most. Forbidden fruit and all that.
Everyone has different levels of comfort and that is fine just don't judge others for doing something just because you wouldn't. Heck, a Mormon could judge you for drinking a Diet Coke because they view it as an altering substance.
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| Posted 11/12/15 9:56 AM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by Jugglemom
Most people in my town drink while TOTing and we all drink at kids parties that are not held at a party place. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and I clearly remember adults drinking at parties when I was a kid.
I really don't understand the judgment surrounding this. How is it anyone's business or affect anyone else? It is a legal activity that adults are engaging in. They are not snorting lines of coke! I think it is important to model responsible drinking in front of children. In fact, I recall that in college it was those kids whose parents made drinking a taboo that tended to drink the most. Forbidden fruit and all that.
Everyone has different levels of comfort and that is fine just don't judge others for doing something just because you wouldn't. Heck, a Mormon could judge you for drinking a Diet Coke because they view it as an altering substance.
It is not a legal activity to be drinking while TOTing as there is an open container law.
What happens after TOTing too? Do all the parents live in walking distance? Do they just get in their cars and drive home? Do they continue drinking at someone's home and then drive home with the kids?
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| Posted 11/12/15 11:10 AM |
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jea128
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Member since 5/05 3415 total posts
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
It is not a legal activity to be drinking while TOTing as there is an open container law.
What happens after TOTing too? Do all the parents live in walking distance? Do they just get in their cars and drive home? Do they continue drinking at someone's home and then drive home with the kids?
I can't comment on what everyone else's situation was, but I TOT with all families that live in my neighborhood, so there was no driving. Just because I enjoy having a drink or 2, does not mean I would put my children in the car and drive home drunk with them.
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| Posted 11/12/15 11:37 AM |
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J9-13
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by JME78
The drinking while TOT is odd to me - just because its against the law to have open containers. So I wouldn't do that.
I wouldn't do it either. I would be the one person that a cop would make an example out of. That's just my luck. LOL
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| Posted 11/12/15 12:00 PM |
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cowgirlkate
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
I'll be honest. I totally judged a mom recently for TWO seconds and then realized I was being a Jealous Jenny.
She had a drink (no one else did) and looked like she was having fun. It was a kid-based community event. I totally thought "wow. You have to drink?" As I clutched my pearls (figuratively).
Then I realized something. I was envious.
She was indulging in a nice drink and having fun and there I was, stuck with two kids and I was alone, and I just don't feel comfy drinking even one glass of wine and driving. Especially since I so rarely drink these days - if I have even one, I'm tipsy. And forget it if
I haven't eaten a big meal. So no way would I ever drink even one and get behind a wheel.
between work and kids and running around and juggling stuff by myself at the moment, it's just not on my radar. My social circle got small and bbqs stopped and then I guess there was just no opportunity to have a drink or two. And I wish there were 
So I don't think there's a big deal at all about it. It's just another stigma, another way to judge other moms, to pit women against one another, etc.
It's not like dads come home and say "wow, Bill had two beers while we watched the game. And little Timmy saw! I just can't!!" Know what I mean?
I have to agree with this. I was hating on the trick or treating parents with coolers at first...but then I realized I was jealous that I can't "enjoy" because I was toting 4 kids under 4 and my husband was still at work. Obviously drinking was the last thing on my mind, until I saw others partying it up.
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| Posted 11/12/15 1:56 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
A diet coke and an alcoholic beverage is quite different, IMO. I am not going to get buzzed/drunk on coke and get a DUI or DWI for drinking a coke.
The "focusing" on my child simply means that there is nothing else but me and my child to go Toting. To me drinking at certain places is just a distraction to what the whole intention of the thing is you are doing.
While i'm sure you think you don't sound like you're judging.. you are in fact coming across as VERY judgmental.
I'm guessing that because you don't drink very much you probably are under the impression that having a glass of wine or a beer immediately has a huge effect on the person drinking it.
Maybe for some people it does.. but for plenty of people, it doesn't change a damn thing. I can have 1 glass of wine and you would never know the difference. It does NOT change how interact with my son, it does NOT impact the amount of attention I pay to him, it does NOT mean i'm drunk/tipsy/buzzed or any of those things and that bad things will happen because of it.
Maybe if YOU have one drink, you get drunk. I get your indignation if that's the case. But me.. i don't. I'm a drinker, i like to drink, i always have and make no apologies for it.
Both my DH and i went out with DS TOT'ing with a large cup of vodka and red bull. We have the same when we go to a St Patty parade, or tailgating at a Mets game, or whatever event you want to talk about. Our DS comes to these events with us and somehow, even though we're drinking, we still manage to focus on him and be good parents. Because even if we're not drinking, we're still always focused on him.
The sanctimonious 'i just don't understand why you need to drink' comments sound like my MIL who thinks that having a glass of wine with dinner means i'm going to get a DUI on the way home 2 hours later 
Just understand that just because it's not your cup of tea (or wine), doesn't mean it's not fine for others.
And comparing a few glasses of wine to pill popping? seriously?
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| Posted 11/12/15 2:09 PM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
A diet coke and an alcoholic beverage is quite different, IMO. I am not going to get buzzed/drunk on coke and get a DUI or DWI for drinking a coke.
The "focusing" on my child simply means that there is nothing else but me and my child to go Toting. To me drinking at certain places is just a distraction to what the whole intention of the thing is you are doing.
While i'm sure you think you don't sound like you're judging.. you are in fact coming across as VERY judgmental.
I'm guessing that because you don't drink very much you probably are under the impression that having a glass of wine or a beer immediately has a huge effect on the person drinking it.
Maybe for some people it does.. but for plenty of people, it doesn't change a damn thing. I can have 1 glass of wine and you would never know the difference. It does NOT change how interact with my son, it does NOT impact the amount of attention I pay to him, it does NOT mean i'm drunk/tipsy/buzzed or any of those things and that bad things will happen because of it.
Maybe if YOU have one drink, you get drunk. I get your indignation if that's the case. But me.. i don't. I'm a drinker, i like to drink, i always have and make no apologies for it.
Both my DH and i went out with DS TOT'ing with a large cup of vodka and red bull. We have the same when we go to a St Patty parade, or tailgating at a Mets game, or whatever event you want to talk about. Our DS comes to these events with us and somehow, even though we're drinking, we still manage to focus on him and be good parents. Because even if we're not drinking, we're still always focused on him.
The sanctimonious 'i just don't understand why you need to drink' comments sound like my MIL who thinks that having a glass of wine with dinner means i'm going to get a DUI on the way home 2 hours later
Just understand that just because it's not your cup of tea (or wine), doesn't mean it's not fine for others.
And comparing a few glasses of wine to pill popping? seriously?
Nope, I drink and I am the one who peer pressures everyone into doing shots lololol.
I think your MIL is just concerned and I can see if both parents are drinking and then driving. I see it all the time at restaurants and can't figure out which one is the "least" sober to drive their kids and themselves home.
For me, this is not a "because I don't drink" thing as I do but like I said before there are many places that I just don't get why people do and in all my years as a mother I have only seen this recently with the Toting.
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| Posted 11/12/15 2:19 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
A diet coke and an alcoholic beverage is quite different, IMO. I am not going to get buzzed/drunk on coke and get a DUI or DWI for drinking a coke.
The "focusing" on my child simply means that there is nothing else but me and my child to go Toting. To me drinking at certain places is just a distraction to what the whole intention of the thing is you are doing.
While i'm sure you think you don't sound like you're judging.. you are in fact coming across as VERY judgmental.
I'm guessing that because you don't drink very much you probably are under the impression that having a glass of wine or a beer immediately has a huge effect on the person drinking it.
Maybe for some people it does.. but for plenty of people, it doesn't change a damn thing. I can have 1 glass of wine and you would never know the difference. It does NOT change how interact with my son, it does NOT impact the amount of attention I pay to him, it does NOT mean i'm drunk/tipsy/buzzed or any of those things and that bad things will happen because of it.
Maybe if YOU have one drink, you get drunk. I get your indignation if that's the case. But me.. i don't. I'm a drinker, i like to drink, i always have and make no apologies for it.
Both my DH and i went out with DS TOT'ing with a large cup of vodka and red bull. We have the same when we go to a St Patty parade, or tailgating at a Mets game, or whatever event you want to talk about. Our DS comes to these events with us and somehow, even though we're drinking, we still manage to focus on him and be good parents. Because even if we're not drinking, we're still always focused on him.
The sanctimonious 'i just don't understand why you need to drink' comments sound like my MIL who thinks that having a glass of wine with dinner means i'm going to get a DUI on the way home 2 hours later
Just understand that just because it's not your cup of tea (or wine), doesn't mean it's not fine for others.
And comparing a few glasses of wine to pill popping? seriously?
Nope, I drink and I am the one who peer pressures everyone into doing shots lololol.
I think your MIL is just concerned and I can see if both parents are drinking and then driving. I see it all the time at restaurants and can't figure out which one is the "least" sober to drive their kids and themselves home.
For me, this is not a "because I don't drink" thing as I do but like I said before there are many places that I just don't get why people do and in all my years as a mother I have only seen this recently with the Toting.
But the question is why do you care?? When we trick or treat we are always within walking distance and I can guarantee to you with 100% certainty that in the village that I live in no one would ever get arrested for an open container while trick or treating. But even if that was not the case why do you possibly care? How does this impact YOUR life? I think it's more problematic that you pressure others to take shots.
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| Posted 11/12/15 2:28 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
A diet coke and an alcoholic beverage is quite different, IMO. I am not going to get buzzed/drunk on coke and get a DUI or DWI for drinking a coke.
The "focusing" on my child simply means that there is nothing else but me and my child to go Toting. To me drinking at certain places is just a distraction to what the whole intention of the thing is you are doing.
While i'm sure you think you don't sound like you're judging.. you are in fact coming across as VERY judgmental.
I'm guessing that because you don't drink very much you probably are under the impression that having a glass of wine or a beer immediately has a huge effect on the person drinking it.
Maybe for some people it does.. but for plenty of people, it doesn't change a damn thing. I can have 1 glass of wine and you would never know the difference. It does NOT change how interact with my son, it does NOT impact the amount of attention I pay to him, it does NOT mean i'm drunk/tipsy/buzzed or any of those things and that bad things will happen because of it.
Maybe if YOU have one drink, you get drunk. I get your indignation if that's the case. But me.. i don't. I'm a drinker, i like to drink, i always have and make no apologies for it.
Both my DH and i went out with DS TOT'ing with a large cup of vodka and red bull. We have the same when we go to a St Patty parade, or tailgating at a Mets game, or whatever event you want to talk about. Our DS comes to these events with us and somehow, even though we're drinking, we still manage to focus on him and be good parents. Because even if we're not drinking, we're still always focused on him.
The sanctimonious 'i just don't understand why you need to drink' comments sound like my MIL who thinks that having a glass of wine with dinner means i'm going to get a DUI on the way home 2 hours later
Just understand that just because it's not your cup of tea (or wine), doesn't mean it's not fine for others.
And comparing a few glasses of wine to pill popping? seriously?
Nope, I drink and I am the one who peer pressures everyone into doing shots lololol.
I think your MIL is just concerned and I can see if both parents are drinking and then driving. I see it all the time at restaurants and can't figure out which one is the "least" sober to drive their kids and themselves home.
For me, this is not a "because I don't drink" thing as I do but like I said before there are many places that I just don't get why people do and in all my years as a mother I have only seen this recently with the Toting.
The point is that one glass of wine does not make me drunk - i'm perfectly fine to drive. I do not want to deal with my MIL (or you at a restaurant) 'wondering' if i am ok to drive.
In all your years of being a mom and going to events, maybe you just don't hang out with people who don't think you need a special occasion to drink - and therefore why you don't get it.
For some others, its perfectly normal to drink at any event. It could be 3:00 on a sunday afternoon and if i feel like a drink, i'm having one. i don't need a reason. And i don't need you trying to figure it out.
Unless there's someone drunk on the street, in public, causing problems.. then of course, by all means call the cops and legitimately be concerned. but if people are minding their own business, so should you.
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| Posted 11/12/15 2:30 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
I think your MIL is just concerned and I can see if both parents are drinking and then driving. I see it all the time at restaurants and can't figure out which one is the "least" sober to drive their kids and themselves home.
I can tell you who the most sober person is when my DH and I go out to dinner and he has one beer and I have 2 glasses of wine. HIM.
He weights a LOT more than me. He has one beer, I have 2 glasses of wine.
He was a cop and very conscious of never being DWI- besides the obvious reasons for never driving while legally drunk, he could also have lost his job and pension.
He has a small personal breathalyzer he keeps in his glove box. We have both tried it - after one drink, after two.
He is most certainly sober enough to drive (legally) after that one beer you would see him consume at dinner while I drank as well.
And he drives home
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| Posted 11/12/15 2:33 PM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Jugglemom
Most people in my town drink while TOTing and we all drink at kids parties that are not held at a party place. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and I clearly remember adults drinking at parties when I was a kid.
I really don't understand the judgment surrounding this. How is it anyone's business or affect anyone else? It is a legal activity that adults are engaging in. They are not snorting lines of coke! I think it is important to model responsible drinking in front of children. In fact, I recall that in college it was those kids whose parents made drinking a taboo that tended to drink the most. Forbidden fruit and all that.
Everyone has different levels of comfort and that is fine just don't judge others for doing something just because you wouldn't. Heck, a Mormon could judge you for drinking a Diet Coke because they view it as an altering substance.
It is not a legal activity to be drinking while TOTing as there is an open container law.
What happens after TOTing too? Do all the parents live in walking distance? Do they just get in their cars and drive home? Do they continue drinking at someone's home and then drive home with the kids?
Why does having one drink turn into full partying and drinking and driving??!! I have once drink all the time and stop at that. And if I have one drink I am fine to drive home. I dont have one glass to get buzzed or drunk I just enjoy the taste of wine. I am sure there are people that take it too far but there are plenty of others who don't, who know their limits and who are responsible parents.
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| Posted 11/12/15 2:39 PM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by Jugglemom
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
A diet coke and an alcoholic beverage is quite different, IMO. I am not going to get buzzed/drunk on coke and get a DUI or DWI for drinking a coke.
The "focusing" on my child simply means that there is nothing else but me and my child to go Toting. To me drinking at certain places is just a distraction to what the whole intention of the thing is you are doing.
While i'm sure you think you don't sound like you're judging.. you are in fact coming across as VERY judgmental.
I'm guessing that because you don't drink very much you probably are under the impression that having a glass of wine or a beer immediately has a huge effect on the person drinking it.
Maybe for some people it does.. but for plenty of people, it doesn't change a damn thing. I can have 1 glass of wine and you would never know the difference. It does NOT change how interact with my son, it does NOT impact the amount of attention I pay to him, it does NOT mean i'm drunk/tipsy/buzzed or any of those things and that bad things will happen because of it.
Maybe if YOU have one drink, you get drunk. I get your indignation if that's the case. But me.. i don't. I'm a drinker, i like to drink, i always have and make no apologies for it.
Both my DH and i went out with DS TOT'ing with a large cup of vodka and red bull. We have the same when we go to a St Patty parade, or tailgating at a Mets game, or whatever event you want to talk about. Our DS comes to these events with us and somehow, even though we're drinking, we still manage to focus on him and be good parents. Because even if we're not drinking, we're still always focused on him.
The sanctimonious 'i just don't understand why you need to drink' comments sound like my MIL who thinks that having a glass of wine with dinner means i'm going to get a DUI on the way home 2 hours later
Just understand that just because it's not your cup of tea (or wine), doesn't mean it's not fine for others.
And comparing a few glasses of wine to pill popping? seriously?
Nope, I drink and I am the one who peer pressures everyone into doing shots lololol.
I think your MIL is just concerned and I can see if both parents are drinking and then driving. I see it all the time at restaurants and can't figure out which one is the "least" sober to drive their kids and themselves home.
For me, this is not a "because I don't drink" thing as I do but like I said before there are many places that I just don't get why people do and in all my years as a mother I have only seen this recently with the Toting.
But the question is why do you care?? When we trick or treat we are always within walking distance and I can guarantee to you with 100% certainty that in the village that I live in no one would ever get arrested for an open container while trick or treating. But even if that was not the case why do you possibly care? How does this impact YOUR life?
I think it's more problematic that you pressure others to take shots.
lol. My point was that I DO drink as the op figured I did not and would get drunk off of one drink and not get that others would not.
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| Posted 11/12/15 3:23 PM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never judged anyone for drinking with kids. My point, and I think the original poster's was, how did things like toting and kids parties turn into parents wanting and needing drinks for an hour or two?
I drink with the best of them but when my kids were younger, my entire focus was on them when they were doing "kid's" things. Maybe others drank at these places but I have been a mother for almost 18 years and IME, no one was ever drinking in this type of situations and I have been to so many different kids things with all different types of people.
Hopefully parents who do drink when their kids are younger do it responsibly and do not drink (or drug) and drive as there are just way too many people that do and destroy their life and the lives of others.
I think you come off as judging because you say things like "my entire focus was my kids." It makes it seem like because someone is enjoying a glass of wine, their entire focus is not their kids and therefore not being as good a parent as you are. I always bring a diet coke to Pump it Up parties. Because I am having a beverage does that mean I am not focusing on my kids? Having A glass of wine or A drink does not mean you are not focusing on your child.
And also there is a big difference between NEEDING and WANTING. I think most people would agree that they don't NEED a drink to survive a children's party, but why not have one if it's available? I think 99% of the people who say they NEED a drink are just joking around and they aren't full alcoholics who actually need the drink to survive.
A diet coke and an alcoholic beverage is quite different, IMO. I am not going to get buzzed/drunk on coke and get a DUI or DWI for drinking a coke.
The "focusing" on my child simply means that there is nothing else but me and my child to go Toting. To me drinking at certain places is just a distraction to what the whole intention of the thing is you are doing.
While i'm sure you think you don't sound like you're judging.. you are in fact coming across as VERY judgmental.
I'm guessing that because you don't drink very much you probably are under the impression that having a glass of wine or a beer immediately has a huge effect on the person drinking it.
Maybe for some people it does.. but for plenty of people, it doesn't change a damn thing. I can have 1 glass of wine and you would never know the difference. It does NOT change how interact with my son, it does NOT impact the amount of attention I pay to him, it does NOT mean i'm drunk/tipsy/buzzed or any of those things and that bad things will happen because of it.
Maybe if YOU have one drink, you get drunk. I get your indignation if that's the case. But me.. i don't. I'm a drinker, i like to drink, i always have and make no apologies for it.
Both my DH and i went out with DS TOT'ing with a large cup of vodka and red bull. We have the same when we go to a St Patty parade, or tailgating at a Mets game, or whatever event you want to talk about. Our DS comes to these events with us and somehow, even though we're drinking, we still manage to focus on him and be good parents. Because even if we're not drinking, we're still always focused on him.
The sanctimonious 'i just don't understand why you need to drink' comments sound like my MIL who thinks that having a glass of wine with dinner means i'm going to get a DUI on the way home 2 hours later
Just understand that just because it's not your cup of tea (or wine), doesn't mean it's not fine for others.
And comparing a few glasses of wine to pill popping? seriously?
Nope, I drink and I am the one who peer pressures everyone into doing shots lololol.
I think your MIL is just concerned and I can see if both parents are drinking and then driving. I see it all the time at restaurants and can't figure out which one is the "least" sober to drive their kids and themselves home.
For me, this is not a "because I don't drink" thing as I do but like I said before there are many places that I just don't get why people do and in all my years as a mother I have only seen this recently with the Toting.
The point is that one glass of wine does not make me drunk - i'm perfectly fine to drive. I do not want to deal with my MIL (or you at a restaurant) 'wondering' if i am ok to drive.
In all your years of being a mom and going to events, maybe you just don't hang out with people who don't think you need a special occasion to drink - and therefore why you don't get it.
For some others, its perfectly normal to drink at any event. It could be 3:00 on a sunday afternoon and if i feel like a drink, i'm having one. i don't need a reason. And i don't need you trying to figure it out.
Unless there's someone drunk on the street, in public, causing problems.. then of course, by all means call the cops and legitimately be concerned. but if people are minding their own business, so should you.
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
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| Posted 11/12/15 3:28 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
You have all types of friends on the drinking spectrum yet you have never seen anyone drinking at any event ever geared toward children. There are a lot of posters on this site that are saying we all drink while at children's events. I would say the majority of posters on this post have said they do. So I'm thinking your friend base is not as broad as you think.
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| Posted 11/12/15 11:12 PM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
This is ridiculous and I can't believe I'm contributing. I used to be a big drinker, I will go weeks now, but if there is an event with alcohol I usually have a glass of wine. TOTing the past two years has been different because it was a weekend. If we are TOTIng after work on a Wednesday, I most likely won't have a drink. The past two years, all the moms and the dads in my neighborhood went out together (all walking) and then all went to a neighbor's house for a party (again all walking.) There was drinking because we were all finally together, no one had to drive, and the kids had a blast. The cops close the road we all TOT on, so they very much know there is drinking. It is a fun night for the whole town.
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| Posted 11/13/15 6:23 AM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
You have all types of friends on the drinking spectrum yet you have never seen anyone drinking at any event ever geared toward children. There are a lot of posters on this site that are saying we all drink while at children's events. I would say the majority of posters on this post have said they do. So I'm thinking your friend base is not as broad as you think.
Toting and playdates? Nope. BBQ's, parties (not kids bday parties at places like CEC, Bouncy places, etc.) that kids are at, absolutely and never said that I didn't. I was only speaking of things that were geared towards kids.
I am sure I am older than you also and have been a parent a lot longer. Maybe I am wrong but I seem to be one of the "older" ones on here.
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| Posted 11/13/15 8:09 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
You have all types of friends on the drinking spectrum yet you have never seen anyone drinking at any event ever geared toward children. There are a lot of posters on this site that are saying we all drink while at children's events. I would say the majority of posters on this post have said they do. So I'm thinking your friend base is not as broad as you think.
Toting and playdates? Nope. BBQ's, parties (not kids bday parties at places like CEC, Bouncy places, etc.) that kids are at, absolutely and never said that I didn't. I was only speaking of things that were geared towards kids.
I am sure I am older than you also and have been a parent a lot longer. Maybe I am wrong but I seem to be one of the "older" ones on here.
OMG....we get it!!!!!!!!! Everything you do is amazing and you cannot possibly understand why anyone ever does anything that you don't agree with!
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| Posted 11/13/15 8:42 AM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by Kitten1929
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
You have all types of friends on the drinking spectrum yet you have never seen anyone drinking at any event ever geared toward children. There are a lot of posters on this site that are saying we all drink while at children's events. I would say the majority of posters on this post have said they do. So I'm thinking your friend base is not as broad as you think.
Toting and playdates? Nope. BBQ's, parties (not kids bday parties at places like CEC, Bouncy places, etc.) that kids are at, absolutely and never said that I didn't. I was only speaking of things that were geared towards kids.
I am sure I am older than you also and have been a parent a lot longer. Maybe I am wrong but I seem to be one of the "older" ones on here.
OMG....we get it!!!!!!!!! Everything you do is amazing and you cannot possibly understand why anyone ever does anything that you don't agree with!
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| Posted 11/13/15 10:01 AM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
You have all types of friends on the drinking spectrum yet you have never seen anyone drinking at any event ever geared toward children. There are a lot of posters on this site that are saying we all drink while at children's events. I would say the majority of posters on this post have said they do. So I'm thinking your friend base is not as broad as you think.
Toting and playdates? Nope. BBQ's, parties (not kids bday parties at places like CEC, Bouncy places, etc.) that kids are at, absolutely and never said that I didn't. I was only speaking of things that were geared towards kids.
I am sure I am older than you also and have been a parent a lot longer. Maybe I am wrong but I seem to be one of the "older" ones on here.
psh, age has nothing to do with it. I'm 43 and can drink my 33 year old friends under the table. I don't anymore because of the hangover and dealing with DS the next morning! But i guarantee you that age has nothing to do with it. It's mentality..
lets all just drop it, because you're clearly not ever going to understand that people do have different views than you, and that it's ok.
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| Posted 11/13/15 2:13 PM |
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Re: Do you drink at kid events/parties?
Posted by Otherme
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have had all types of friends of my own and my kids friends and they go from one end of the spectrum to the other with drinking.
Again, since the original poster asked this originally, I know I am not the only one who just does not get it. Not drinking as a whole but certain places that are geared for and towards kids.
You have all types of friends on the drinking spectrum yet you have never seen anyone drinking at any event ever geared toward children. There are a lot of posters on this site that are saying we all drink while at children's events. I would say the majority of posters on this post have said they do. So I'm thinking your friend base is not as broad as you think.
Toting and playdates? Nope. BBQ's, parties (not kids bday parties at places like CEC, Bouncy places, etc.) that kids are at, absolutely and never said that I didn't. I was only speaking of things that were geared towards kids.
I am sure I am older than you also and have been a parent a lot longer. Maybe I am wrong but I seem to be one of the "older" ones on here.
psh, age has nothing to do with it. I'm 43 and can drink my 33 year old friends under the table. I don't anymore because of the hangover and dealing with DS the next morning! But i guarantee you that age has nothing to do with it. It's mentality..
lets all just drop it, because you're clearly not ever going to understand that people do have different views than you, and that it's ok.
Clearly you have totally missed my point.
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| Posted 11/13/15 2:29 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Do you drink at kid events/parties?
wow lol. This thread makes me want a cocktail
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| Posted 11/13/15 5:03 PM |
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