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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
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Posted 4/25/12 11:31 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
Sorry you feel this way but may I ask HOW your dad was a big component when it sounds like he was when you have stated you did not see him on the weekdays and on his day off he was working on his boat? IMO and YES, this is MY opinion and I am allowed to have one, I think just providing financially for a child and not spending time with them is not considered "raising a child". Raising a child involves your time, teaching, playing, having a relationship, bonding, being there.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:44 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:46 AM |
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AScottWolf
I <3 our squish!
Member since 11/10 2237 total posts
Name:
Adriana
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Re: Not worth it to work?
I didn't want to post here because I have no children and when I do, I luckily have my mom who is retired to take care of the baby while I work. Even if DH had tons of $ coming in p/month I would still work at the very minimum part time.
But, why certain people on here feel the need to constantly defend their style of parenting (SAHM, FTWM, PTWM) confuses the hell out of me. Almost 90% of the posts have started with Personally and IMO.
People have different opinions on what work means to them.
People have different opinions on what "worth it" means
People have different opinions on what Need and Want are.
That's OK.! If your life works for you then great. Stop worrying if other people's lives work for you.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:47 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Janice
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Janice
hazel-is the mother who only gets to spend an hour a day with her child raising that child?
my dh 100% feels like he is helping raise my kids..financing? we both do that. he makes it and i save it by staying at home with them.
IME I do not know ANY mother who only spends an hour a day with their child so it is hard for me to think that there are mothers out there that do that. I do know fathers who do though only see their kids an hour or two a day, the most.
my cousin does.
out of work at 5:30.
commutes home to SI from midtown.
home at 6:45.
son asleep by 8.
almost all the mothers i use to work with had similar schedules.
She does not see her child in the morning?
Maybe I am just luckier that most moms I know work close to home, daycare and/or school so they spend much more time than just an hour a day with their child.
Hazel-just trying to understand something. You said earlier that a dad who doesn't see his kids that often because he works a lot is not raising his kids. But what a single mom who is working 2 jobs to get by? Or a mom who is working long hours and sees her kids on weekends or holidays?
I know so so so many women who are working crazy hours. My closest friend from college is in tears half the time-her husband lost his job, she is working 8am-7pm and the kids are going to bed when she gets in the door. And she picks up extra hours on saturday. It would be such a disservice to her and any parent who needs to work such a schedule by saying they are only a financial contributor. 
Parents do what they NEED to do. It isn't what they always WANT to do, but they do it. If my husband picked up a second job for his sons to have food on the table, I can assure you 100% his is being a wonderful father who is certainly raising them.
It would not be ideal for us to have DH away all the time. I would feel upset, I know my sons would be sad. But we'd make the best of the situation and make the time we are all together quality time. DH was away for 6 months to better his career so we could have more. I admired that he did that for his boys, and they certainly will appreciate it someday when they are old enough to understand!
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
No, most don't..you're right. And maybe it shouldn't be the norm for anyone (I mean, its prob not fair to kids when ANY parent is away for a long time) but the truth is, it happens. I just didn't think it was fair to take the "raising" title away from anyone.
I feel that if a parent is working hard to better their child(ren)s life...and are good parents who do what they can, they are most certainly raising them. Even if the circumstance aren't ideal.
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Raising a child means, IMO, providing a nurturing and constructive environment that promotes growth and development in a child. Sometimes being the breadwinner means being away for long periods of time so that child can have an environment to flourish in.
I think of service men and women on deployment and I would never, ever for one second think that they are not actively raising their children because they aren't physically there due to that deployment. There are plenty of parents that are there in body but don't bother to raise their children.
ITA with you. There are plenty of parents who are there 24/7 with their children and still do not raise them. I don't think they are any better than the parent who is working so many hours and never sees their child.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:50 AM |
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KristenRSF
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/10 487 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:53 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
We are all allowed our opinions.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:56 AM |
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KristenRSF
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/10 487 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
We are all allowed our opinions.
Regardless if it insults a ton of working women? That's nice.
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| Posted 4/25/12 11:58 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
We are all allowed our opinions.
Part of raising a child is modeling behavior such as tolerance, acceptance, empathy and understanding - I find your posts to be lacking in the above qualities often. Not to say you may not possess them but you don't show those qualities very often in these forums. By the same token, a parent that works many hours even while being away from the child is modeling responsibility, work ethic, humility, and integrity, and all those qualities help to make up a good rounded individual
IMO.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:07 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
I promise you that your point was made. Why do you beat topics to DEATH?? You come across as just as intolerant of other people's opinions as you claim they are of yours.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:08 PM |
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Re: Not worth it to work?
hazel, you are way out of line.
tell any service member that they are not raising their kids.
better yet, tell it to the child who is heartbroken their parent is going overseas for a year so you can live free and stupid that their mommy or daddy is just making money and putting $ first and not raising them as a parent should, and that you are way better because you "bought small and have a small nest egg."
have you any thought to seeing all sides to a matter and not just your one-sided ignorant one?
it's sad that other people put their lives on the line to protect idiots like you who sit on the sidelines and make ignorant and outlandish statements while you sit safe and cozy on your self-imposed throne of great parenting. I can clearly see that you aren't a good parent. You can't be if you are this ignorant.
I can only pray that your kids don't turn out as selfish and judgemental as you.
or maybe you will end up divorced and stuggling to maintain 2 or 3 jobs and then see that you're still raising your children. maybe that will be what it takes to wake you up.
yeah, i went there. we can ALL have an opinion.
and i don't give a lick of how much of a ***** i sound. I stand by everything when I say what you said is an absolute DISGRACE to any parent in the military or any related career field where your needs are met and protected at the sake of others.
Message edited 4/25/2012 12:13:27 PM.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:10 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
We are all allowed our opinions.
Regardless if it insults a ton of working women? That's nice.
I am a working mom too. I am entitled to my opinion as everyone else is.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:21 PM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
I promise you that your point was made. Why do you beat topics to DEATH?? You come across as just as intolerant of other people's opinions as you claim they are of yours.
 x 1 billion
Why can't people just agree to disagree? There is no right or wrong answer here. Do what's best for you and your family, and don't worry about anyone else.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:22 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
We are all allowed our opinions.
Part of raising a child is modeling behavior such as tolerance, acceptance, empathy and understanding - I find your posts to be lacking in the above qualities often. Not to say you may not possess them but you don't show those qualities very often in these forums. By the same token, a parent that works many hours even while being away from the child is modeling responsibility, work ethic, humility, and integrity, and all those qualities help to make up a good rounded individual
IMO.
I consider this debating. I am telling my opinion and when people complain over how they have to do this or that or how their dh's work long hours, I am only telling how I feel. Everyone makes choices in life and if they don't like that choice, they need to find a way to change it if they can. My choice was to have a smaller home and nest egg. I can't have it all and know that.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:23 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
Of course, we are all allowed our opinions. Even you with your sweeping generalizations of how children are raised (not raised) are allowed an opinion.
I'm not offended if you don't think I'm raising my kids because I (or more importantly they) know differently.
I just think you're being close-minded & a few other words & pointed it out for those that are not as confident or the new mom who has to go back to work & worries if her baby will know who their mom.
FTR, my dad working crazy hours & on the boat weekends meant 2 weeks on a sailboat, learning how to sail, sorting nails & screws, playing in the yard while he worked & later when we were older & staying up eating dinner with him when he sat down at 9pm to eat. I lucked out with terrific parents. If my kids feel a quarter of how I feel about my parents, I would consider myself an amazing parent.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:23 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
I promise you that your point was made. Why do you beat topics to DEATH?? You come across as just as intolerant of other people's opinions as you claim they are of yours.
I can only "beat topics to death" if someone answers me.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:24 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by cncforever
hazel, you are way out of line.
tell any service member that they are not raising their kids.
better yet, tell it to the child who is heartbroken their parent is going overseas for a year so you can live free and stupid that their mommy or daddy is just making money and putting $ first and not raising them as a parent should, and that you are way better because you "bought small and have a small nest egg."
have you any thought to seeing all sides to a matter and not just your one-sided ignorant one?
it's sad that other people put their lives on the line to protect idiots like you who sit on the sidelines and make ignorant and outlandish statements while you sit safe and cozy on your self-imposed throne of great parenting. I can clearly see that you aren't a good parent. You can't be if you are this ignorant.
I can only pray that your kids don't turn out as selfish and judgemental as you.
or maybe you will end up divorced and stuggling to maintain 2 or 3 jobs and then see that you're still raising your children. maybe that will be what it takes to wake you up.
yeah, i went there. we can ALL have an opinion.
and i don't give a lick of how much of a ***** i sound. I stand by everything when I say what you said is an absolute DISGRACE to any parent in the military or any related career field where your needs are met and protected at the sake of others.
Sorry you feel that way. Maybe you should look back at my posts and see that I was not talking about military parents AND have said those are different circumstances. I personally think most military parents are there more than some parents who live with their children on a daily basis.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:26 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
Of course, we are all allowed our opinions. Even you with your sweeping generalizations of how children are raised (not raised) are allowed an opinion.
I'm not offended if you don't think I'm raising my kids because I (or more importantly they) know differently.
I just think you're being close-minded & a few other words & pointed it out for those that are not as confident or the new mom who has to go back to work & worries if her baby will know who their mom.
FTR, my dad working crazy hours & on the boat weekends meant 2 weeks on a sailboat, learning how to sail, sorting nails & screws, playing in the yard while he worked & later when we were older & staying up eating dinner with him when he sat down at 9pm to eat. I lucked out with terrific parents. If my kids feel a quarter of how I feel about my parents, I would consider myself an amazing parent.
Glad you feel your parents were terrific. I am sure they were then and are now.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:28 PM |
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DumpsterBaby
My compass when I'm lost
Member since 5/11 2210 total posts
Name:
My anchor when I get tossed
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
I promise you that your point was made. Why do you beat topics to DEATH?? You come across as just as intolerant of other people's opinions as you claim they are of yours.
I can only "beat topics to death" if someone answers me.
You never know when to quit! You simply cannot let someone else have the last word. Thats why these threads drag on. Can you comprehend that some people think it is worth it/not worth it for a variety of reasons that may or may not apply to you, make sense to you, or anything else. Good god! Stop needling every little thing someone says!
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:29 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
I promise you that your point was made. Why do you beat topics to DEATH?? You come across as just as intolerant of other people's opinions as you claim they are of yours.
I can only "beat topics to death" if someone answers me.
You never know when to quit! You simply cannot let someone else have the last word. Thats why these threads drag on. Can you comprehend that some people think it is worth it/not worth it for a variety of reasons that may or may not apply to you, make sense to you, or anything else. Good god! Stop needling every little thing someone says!
No, they drag on because others answer me also. It is not ALL me-lol.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:31 PM |
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KristenRSF
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/10 487 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by DumpsterBaby
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by hazeleyes33
We are all allowed our opinions.
I promise you that your point was made. Why do you beat topics to DEATH?? You come across as just as intolerant of other people's opinions as you claim they are of yours.
I can only "beat topics to death" if someone answers me.
You never know when to quit! You simply cannot let someone else have the last word. Thats why these threads drag on. Can you comprehend that some people think it is worth it/not worth it for a variety of reasons that may or may not apply to you, make sense to you, or anything else. Good god! Stop needling every little thing someone says!
No, they drag on because others answer me also. It is not ALL me-lol.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:41 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
As a parent who's had to leave some days before her kids get up and unfortnately have gotten home after they are asleep, I will do ANYTHING on this earth to make sure every waking moment that can be spent with my children is. I make the most of the time I have and am more of an active parent than others I know.
So you can take what you think you know about everyone else's situation and smoke it.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:46 PM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: Not worth it to work?
DH and i made the decision not to work because my entire paycheck would go towards daycare itself and leave me with about $100/week, wasn't worth it for $100 a week to pay someone else to raise my child. I will go back to work when they are in school.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:48 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Not worth it to work?
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by MsKS511
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by hazeleyes33
IME, most women do not have these hours. IMO this is not the norm for women but are for men.
Maybe it's because I'm surrounded by women commuting but it's actually common for anyone working in Manhattan.
I'm not sure who made the 'raising' comment but it's bullsh1t. My dad had a 2.5 hour commute each way. He left before I was up. Growing up, he was home after I went to bed. On weekends he worked on our boat.
I can speak for all of the kids in my family, that my dad was a pretty big component in our lives. While my mom was there for the day-to-day, they both raised us.
What is with the sweeping generalizations on this thread - on both sides??
Obviously, I'm a working mom but I would never think that a SAHM isn't contributing to their household. My only concern over SAHMs is the ability to support themselves should they need to, which is based solely on seeing friends get divorced, husbands die and people leaving abusive marriages.After all of this time on LIF, I don't know why anyone cares what other's choices are & why the judgments are thrown around.
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think if someone is away the majority of the day from their child for weeks or months or years on end, no they are not raising their child. Just making money is not raising a child IMO.
Ok now I'll say it....you really are a freaking piece of work. Truly.Where the F do you get off saying a working parent is "just making money"? You are equating a working parent to my friend's POS husband who solely pays childsupport & has no contact. Unfreaking real. BTW, the only way I haven't really said what I think is because of the rules of this site.
I was refraining from saying anything really negative, but this response was a pretty accurate portrayal of how i feel as well...
Back in the day, my grandpa worked 3 jobs. He didn't see his children all that much, but he had that rare vacation time or saturday here and there, he did everything with them. He coached their sports as often as possible, he was there for the very important events and he busted his ass 7 days a week to put food on the table while my grandma stayed home with 8 kids. It worked for them. He is the best grandfather ever, he adored every single one of his kids and he raised 8 really really great people who have always considered him a great DAD, not financial contributer. Which according to your definition is what you would view him as . And i think thats a shame.
I just can not see how someone who is gone before their kids get up, come home after their kids go to bed is truly being an active parent.
I am no stranger to this board but it seems some things never change with certain people. Every time you get into it with someone you multi quote and push your point further by asking the same question over, and over, and over, and over. You have internet kicked every woman who works on here right in the crotch with your statements. You have the biggest pair of balls ever to say what you said above. I feel bad for you that you feel this way.
We are all allowed our opinions.
Actually you NEVER let anyone else have their own opinion. This thread is the same as all your threads. You quote those you like. You bash those who don't. Not only that but you keep beating the dead horse on those who still don't agree with you.
You posted an article with a "?". So why even posting if the only reason is to try to change the opinion of those who don't agree with you and agreed with the article?
You always go on a mission to change people's mind. WHY?
This is seriously annoying!
PS: I also want your quoting option to be disabled.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:50 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Not worth it to work?
my dh's long hours are a trade off to the job security his situation provides.
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| Posted 4/25/12 12:52 PM |
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