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SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Smileyd17
Just want to tell you a quick story- At Walgreens Mon night, waiting for meds, all 3 kids with me. We are sitting, the kids are restless, im saying sit down, please. almost done. Lady next to me states, WHY I LEAVE MINE AT HOME, a chuckle.
I said in return, I don't have a choice.
You just never know ppls situation. :)
I f*ing HATE when people say that to me!!!! Do they think I ENJOY dragging my 2 monsters around with me everywhere I go??..
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Posted 1/22/16 4:00 PM  |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Just for the record - I was not trying to employ that PTWMs or FTWMs don't volunteer. Just that clearly the OP is not currently volunteering, and that maybe she wouldn't be so worried about other people if she actually took up some volunteer work. Also, it sounds like it isn't really a full time job looking for a full time job if you still have so much time on your hands. Sounds more like less than a part time job. If it were a full time job, there'd be no need for the original post.
Checking out sites online and networking all day and night is considered full time to me.
I asked because I am home the majority of the week doing that. I don't like to let too much time go by not to look and apply and network.
Yeah I guess I am confused. If it's a full time job, then essentially nothing has changed. You worked full time, now you are networking full time. Why are you even wondering what SAHMs do all day long? You aren't a stay at home mom. You are a mom who spends the entire day networking and looking for a new job. SAHMs aren't looking for a job day in and day out. They have other things they are doing.
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| Posted 1/22/16 4:50 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by lululu
Just for the record - I was not trying to employ that PTWMs or FTWMs don't volunteer. Just that clearly the OP is not currently volunteering, and that maybe she wouldn't be so worried about other people if she actually took up some volunteer work. Also, it sounds like it isn't really a full time job looking for a full time job if you still have so much time on your hands. Sounds more like less than a part time job. If it were a full time job, there'd be no need for the original post.
Checking out sites online and networking all day and night is considered full time to me.
I asked because I am home the majority of the week doing that. I don't like to let too much time go by not to look and apply and network.
Yeah I guess I am confused. If it's a full time job, then essentially nothing has changed. You worked full time, now you are networking full time. Why are you even wondering what SAHMs do all day long? You aren't a stay at home mom. You are a mom who spends the entire day networking and looking for a new job. SAHMs aren't looking for a job day in and day out. They have other things they are doing.
Yes, like leaving the house lol. I guess I shouldn't say technically ft then as if I clean or laundry I can't say ft lololol. Looking online constantly to me is ft and not going out so you can apply to jobs as soon as you can is ft but I guess I should change my wordage. 
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| Posted 1/22/16 6:23 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Bebelove
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by afternoondelight828
I have been home and I have to tell you, I don't get what people complain about being home when the kids are in school full time.
I can definetely see when the kids are younger and you are constantly taking care of them.
You don't need to deep clean everyday, once you organize, that is not something you do everyday, it just becomes maintenance.
Cooking, yes, you can do that but who is cooking for 7 hours? lol
How about we quit with the subtle shaming of other women's life choices?
And before you respond- go back and re-read your post.
"I don't get what people complain about..."
"You don't need to..."
"Who is cooking for..."
"Lol"
It really bothers me when women make other women feel insignificant - and you managed to do that with your tone. Maybe it wasn't your intention, but it came across as incredibly insensitive (and I don't consider myself to be a sensitive person).
Very much agree with this. It comes off as rude. She also has to go back to work , so what is the purpose of these type of comments?
It was just something that I am now experiencing and see how it really is, compared to what some "claim" it is. I LOVE that many SAHM's with older kids have come and said they do nothing or have so much time to themselves.
I guess I am used to fb and all the fakeness that I start thinking there is something wrong with me.
Yes, I have to go back to work and can't wait as I am not the type that can clean 24/7 and without little kids to run around after, you really start feeling like you are not contributing to society.
I am glad I got the time off though to see "the other side" and experience it. Basically just to see the grass is always greener side. It IS greener for me in many ways but unfortunately I need to make money so I will cherish that time off more once I go back to work.
I'm going to be honest with you. Your perspective is not the same as the reality for a lot of stay at home moms. Your kids are in middle/high school and you have just become a SAHM and it's temporary. Almost all of the SAHM moms I know that have kids in school full time and have always been in SAHMs volunteer A LOT. We volunteer at the schools, we volunteer as Boy Scout/Girl scout leaders, we are part of charitable organizations and other organizations with in our community. We teach religion, etc, etc, etc. It's not to say that these things are "stressful" but they do add some work to fill up all that free time that you are just sitting on your ass doing nothing. I'm sure a lot of the mom's you sit back and bash are the mom's that have been a boy scout or girl scout leader to your kids, have been a CCD teacher for them, have cleaned up the school playground or organized events and activities at the school that your kids benefited from. Believe me, they are contributing to society way more than you think. YOUR society. benefiting your kids!
Maybe go to your local hospital and see if you can volunteer while you have all this free time on your hands. Although I don't think you are asking for suggestions at all. You're just trying to find a way to subtly bash moms that might have too much free time on their hands (from your perspective). It's definitely clear that you have way too much time on your hands because no one I know (on this forum or IRL) is even remotely as concerned with other people as you.
 This is so spot on. I deleted my responses on this thread once I realized it was not started for any legitimate or productive purpose. Great response and agree one hundred percent!
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| Posted 1/22/16 9:17 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Ive done both, they are both exhausting. They are both rewarding. Each for different reasons. Im a FTWM now which I prefer, even if it means having to do "household" stuff on lunch or after work.....at least I get to pee in peace and drink my coffee while its still hot when I am at work. Also, people just email me when they need shit....and I can ignore them. They don't stand at my desk and incessantly whine at me until I acknowledge them by losing my mind, so theres that too.
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| Posted 1/22/16 9:21 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Ive done both, they are both exhausting. They are both rewarding. Each for different reasons. Im a FTWM now which I prefer, even if it means having to do "household" stuff on lunch or after work.....at least I get to pee in peace and drink my coffee while its still hot when I am at work. Also, people just email me when they need shit....and I can ignore them. They don't stand at my desk and incessantly whine at me until I acknowledge them by losing my mind, so theres that too.
Once kids get older those things get better :)
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| Posted 1/22/16 9:24 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Also, people just email me when they need shit....and I can ignore them. They don't stand at my desk and incessantly whine at me until I acknowledge them by losing my mind, so theres that too.
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| Posted 1/22/16 10:01 PM |
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Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
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| Posted 1/22/16 10:16 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
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| Posted 1/22/16 10:23 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already. 
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| Posted 1/22/16 11:15 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
I am well aware of bigger things with older kids lol. My point is that they don't need the care like a younger kid does. When they were younger they came home from school and needed a snack and guidance with homework. Now one goes and takes a few hours nap and the other gets something to eat and plays games of has friends over.
I simply asked what you do with your hours home when the kids are in school. You don't have that luxury yet and I am sure you won't do some things everyday. You will have a lot more free time. Not sure why some just can't admit that.
Not that I am saying you are like this but I have known some SAHM's who try and convince their husbands that they have to stay home because they have kids. They tell them all these things they couldn't do if they were working but in reality they can be done. Why does everything at home need to fall on you too? Are you planning to never go back to work?
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| Posted 1/22/16 11:55 PM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
You so realize that single parents do it all on their own too, right? And work.
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| Posted 1/22/16 11:59 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
I am well aware of bigger things with older kids lol. My point is that they don't need the care like a younger kid does. When they were younger they came home from school and needed a snack and guidance with homework. Now one goes and takes a few hours nap and the other gets something to eat and plays games of has friends over.
I simply asked what you do with your hours home when the kids are in school. You don't have that luxury yet and I am sure you won't do some things everyday. You will have a lot more free time. Not sure why some just can't admit that.
Not that I am saying you are like this but I have known some SAHM's who try and convince their husbands that they have to stay home because they have kids. They tell them all these things they couldn't do if they were working but in reality they can be done. Why does everything at home need to fall on you too? Are you planning to never go back to work?
I don't mind that it all falls on me, that's the arrangement that works for us. My DH's career is very important and financially supports this family, I've ALWAYS felt that the last thing he needs to worry about is things at home. Because I stay home, it SHOULD fall on me. That doesn't mean he doesn't help around the house, do projects, or pitch in BUT the bulk of our life is taken care of by me, as it should be IMO. Everyone has their roles, mine is the kids and the house and he has his career.
As for work, I really have no plans to return to work to be honest with you. I'm almost 41, by the time my youngest starts school I will have been out of teaching for 10 years and I'll be 43 years old.......almost 44. At that age and after being away for so long from my career, I really don't even want to go back. I'm very fortunate that my DH's salary is such that I don't need to go back to work if I so choose. IF I ever did it would NEVER be F/T anyway, at best I would sub in my district so that I have the same hours as my kids and I can work when I want. Someone needs to be available to get them on and off the bus, take them to their activities, and be here if they are sick.
There is nothing to admit. Are they days I have a little more free time then others to myself? Sure. But more often than not I'm constantly on the go and have a million things to do. There are some days where I don't even sit for the first few hours of my day. I'm not complaining, that's just life. I think you just want to hear that we're all running around getting manicures and having high tea with our friends all day and I'm telling you, as are many others, that is not really the norm for a SAHM. Life with kids and a house is busy...........whether you work or stay at home.
ETA - For me personally, I don't have to "convince" my DH of anything. He wants me home with our kids, he doesn't mind being the breadwinner, and he's left it completely up to me if I ever want to go back to work............he supports whatever decision I make. How do you know that your SAHM friends have to "convince" and lie to their DH's about anything, maybe their DH's (like mine) are simply OKAY with them being home permanently. If a couple can afford it financially, there is NO pressure for a woman to return to work.
Message edited 1/23/2016 12:30:08 AM.
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| Posted 1/23/16 12:17 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
You so realize that single parents do it all on their own too, right? And work.
What is your point??? Of course I know that, who doesn't?? I was making the point in my response to you that as a SAHM (or dad) you tend to take on A LOT of the household responsibilities because your spouse works. Meaning, I'm NOT sitting around all day twiddling my thumbs and watching soap operas like YOU seem to think. I have MANY things to do which fill my day on a regular, consistent basis.
YOU asked what a SAHM mom does all day (NOT a single parent) and I, as well as many others, have told you. What does a single parent have to do with anything in this thread???? Obviously a single parent is a whole different ball of wax and doesn't even have the ability to be at home which just magnifies their responsibilities since they are on their own. But that's NOT what we're talking about here therefore, I'm not sure what this comment has to do with anything. You asked what a SAHM does all day and then EVERY time someone answers you your response is to diminish their role in the household in order to prove how useless a SAHM is. That's how it reads anyway.
I can't figure out what it is you want to hear from everyone on here. I think you just enjoy being difficult. I've said what I've needed to, I think EVERYONE has answered your question sufficiently so I'm done. This is just silly at this point.
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| Posted 1/23/16 12:27 AM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
I am well aware of bigger things with older kids lol. My point is that they don't need the care like a younger kid does. When they were younger they came home from school and needed a snack and guidance with homework. Now one goes and takes a few hours nap and the other gets something to eat and plays games of has friends over.
I simply asked what you do with your hours home when the kids are in school. You don't have that luxury yet and I am sure you won't do some things everyday. You will have a lot more free time. Not sure why some just can't admit that.
Not that I am saying you are like this but I have known some SAHM's who try and convince their husbands that they have to stay home because they have kids. They tell them all these things they couldn't do if they were working but in reality they can be done. Why does everything at home need to fall on you too? Are you planning to never go back to work?
I don't mind that it all falls on me, that's the arrangement that works for us. My DH's career is very important and financially supports this family, I've ALWAYS felt that the last thing he needs to worry about is things at home. Because I stay home, it SHOULD fall on me. That doesn't mean he doesn't help around the house, do projects, or pitch in BUT the bulk of our life is taken care of by me, as it should be IMO. Everyone has their roles, mine is the kids and the house and he has his career.
As for work, I really have no plans to return to work to be honest with you. I'm almost 41, by the time my youngest starts school I will have been out of teaching for 10 years and I'll be 43 years old.......almost 44. At that age and after being away for so long from my career, I really don't even want to go back. I'm very fortunate that my DH's salary is such that I don't need to go back to work if I so choose. IF I ever did it would NEVER be F/T anyway, at best I would sub in my district so that I have the same hours as my kids and I can work when I want. Someone needs to be available to get them on and off the bus, take them to their activities, and be here if they are sick.
There is nothing to admit. Are they days I have a little more free time then others to myself? Sure. But more often than not I'm constantly on the go and have a million things to do. There are some days where I don't even sit for the first few hours of my day. I'm not complaining, that's just life. I think you just want to hear that we're all running around getting manicures and having high tea with our friends all day and I'm telling you, as are many others, that is not really the norm for a SAHM. Life with kids and a house is busy...........whether you work or stay at home.
ETA - For me personally, I don't have to "convince" my DH of anything. He wants me home with our kids, he doesn't mind being the breadwinner, and he's left it completely up to me if I ever want to go back to work............he supports whatever decision I make. How do you know that your SAHM friends have to "convince" and lie to their DH's about anything, maybe their DH's (like mine) are simply OKAY with them being home permanently. If a couple can afford it financially, there is NO pressure for a woman to return to work.
I never said they were friends of mine but I know them through other family and friends.
What if hypothetically your dh said he wanted the financial burden off of himself and wants you to go back to work? Would you?
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| Posted 1/23/16 12:38 AM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
You so realize that single parents do it all on their own too, right? And work.
What is your point??? Of course I know that, who doesn't?? I was making the point in my response to you that as a SAHM (or dad) you tend to take on A LOT of the household responsibilities because your spouse works. Meaning, I'm NOT sitting around all day twiddling my thumbs and watching soap operas like YOU seem to think. I have MANY things to do which fill my day on a regular, consistent basis.
YOU asked what a SAHM mom does all day (NOT a single parent) and I, as well as many others, have told you. What does a single parent have to do with anything in this thread???? Obviously a single parent is a whole different ball of wax and doesn't even have the ability to be at home which just magnifies their responsibilities since they are on their own. But that's NOT what we're talking about here therefore, I'm not sure what this comment has to do with anything. You asked what a SAHM does all day and then EVERY time someone answers you your response is to diminish their role in the household in order to prove how useless a SAHM is. That's how it reads anyway.
I can't figure out what it is you want to hear from everyone on here. I think you just enjoy being difficult. I've said what I've needed to, I think EVERYONE has answered your question sufficiently so I'm done. This is just silly at this point.
Again you don't have older kids in school full time and that was my original question but you have turned it around to me bashing SAHM's and that they do nothing. Some have even said they do a lot less than when they worked or had kids at home all day.
I am not sure why you find the need to defend yourself like you are doing something wrong. You are not in that phase of your life yet. That is all.
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| Posted 1/23/16 12:42 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
I never said they were friends of mine but I know them through other family and friends.
What if hypothetically your dh said he wanted the financial burden off of himself and wants you to go back to work? Would you?
??? Do you listen when people talk??????
OBVIOUSLY, if my DH had some issue with my being home and we NEEDED the money I, of course, would go back to work. But in reality, he makes WAAAAAAAAAAY more than I ever did when I was teaching so we don't need my salary.
And as I've said, my being home was a decision we made TOGETHER so he doesn't consider having to work and make the money to support us a BURDEN therefore this is NOT an issue as I've now said six million times.
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| Posted 1/23/16 7:35 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Ballet46
I think there is a bizarre stereotype of the brainless sahm just shopping and scrubbing the floors. Many women who do not work take on a huge bulk of household responsibilities that require intelligent thinking (in addition to caring for children), such as paying bills, researching purchases, making big purchases, fixing broken computers, taxes, cars, etc. Even if a woman spends her seven hours relaxing, going to the gym, bringing the car in, what is it to anyone else? I am sure her kids are happy to go home to a house in which they are greeted by mom. It provides a sense of security.
You do realize that wohm's do those things too, right? Lol
I personally had a sahm and I would have preferred her to work and have the house to myself when I was a teen lol.
So here's the thing, my DH (because I stay home) has the luxury (and yes it's a luxury) to go to work and focus on his job without having to worry about ANYTHING at home. His focus is work. My focus is everything else.........our whole life, the kids, the activities, the appointments, the sick kids, the bill paying, the food shopping, the laundry, the cleaning, the HW, the play dates, getting our DD off and on the bus, and on and on and on. My guess, is when you have two working parents there is more of a division of labor in the home, there has to be really because one person can't do it all.
So to answer your question..........SAHM's are busy. At least I am. I can easily fill every hour in my day and still NOT have enough time to get it all done. That's just a fact. Once my DS starts school too the only thing that will be easier about my day is that I can get all of the same things done WITHOUT having someone hanging on me alllll day. But my responsibilities won't change and I won't be "bored" or "have nothing to do" just because my kids are in school no matter what age they are because someone still has to run our life and that's my "job" while my DH goes to his job.
And I disagree with you that things get easier when your kids get older, bigger kids come with bigger problems and different responsibilities as a parent. But all of that aside, I don't know why you keep CONSTANTLY trying to prove your point that being a SAHM is pretty much a joke. I get it's not for you, clearly, but different people have different lives, different priorities, and different responsibilities..........it's really as simple as that. I'm not sure why you need so much feedback as to what a SAHM does all day, what does it matter to you anyway?? I don't know, I don't really get the point of this thread and I feel like no matter what anyone says about it you just come back with some snide remark to try and negate the importance or validity of being a SAHM. I don't really think you care what anyone is saying on this thread, you just like to cause drama. Let it go already.
I am well aware of bigger things with older kids lol. My point is that they don't need the care like a younger kid does. When they were younger they came home from school and needed a snack and guidance with homework. Now one goes and takes a few hours nap and the other gets something to eat and plays games of has friends over.
I simply asked what you do with your hours home when the kids are in school. You don't have that luxury yet and I am sure you won't do some things everyday. You will have a lot more free time. Not sure why some just can't admit that.
Not that I am saying you are like this but I have known some SAHM's who try and convince their husbands that they have to stay home because they have kids. They tell them all these things they couldn't do if they were working but in reality they can be done. Why does everything at home need to fall on you too? Are you planning to never go back to work?
Why do you care so much what everyone else has done/is doing/plans on doing?
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| Posted 1/23/16 7:52 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
You so realize that single parents do it all on their own too, right? And work.
I am not going to go back in forth with you because obviously you do not care about others views but you are the most condescending person I have read in months on these boards. How about keep your judgments to yourself and worry about your own life and not belittle others for theirs. No SAHM needs to prove their worth to you. This is problem with women, try supporting other people's choices rather than tearing them down.
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| Posted 1/23/16 8:51 AM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
.....
Message edited 3/20/2016 10:01:32 PM.
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| Posted 1/23/16 9:12 AM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by itsbabytime
Why is everyone still debating with this poster? This thread is ridiculous and pathetic and reeks of insecurity. I have friends of older kids that are very involved in their lives and you know what - their kids are amazing and accomplished because of it. My guess is the op feels down about herself and her family and is trying to make herself feel
Better and justified in this thread. It's actually sad how she keeps feeling the need to refer back to the few posters that agree with her. Actually every thread she posts is just
As ignorant and self serving. Just like the last one where she had to prove that everyone was carrying significant debt or lying bout it. Sorry - op, it's just u. I wouldn't even engage it anymore.
Wow from me asking what moms of older kids do when they stay home to now me being down on myself and insecure. Bawahhh..what a laugh.
Seems the only people who have a problem is the ones who, are not even in the situation I have discussed and want to put their 2 cents in.
This discussion actually started out with my dh who asked the question so I asked it to REAL SAHM's.
I'll try not to let any of my own life experience's to flow into this board anymore as it seems knowing different sides and many different types of people (like I do) is wrong on this board and when you give an example, you are basically told you are making things up and unhappy with your own life. lol.
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| Posted 1/23/16 9:24 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by itsbabytime
Why is everyone still debating with this poster? This thread is ridiculous and pathetic and reeks of insecurity. I have friends of older kids that are very involved in their lives and you know what - their kids are amazing and accomplished because of it. My guess is the op feels down about herself and her family and is trying to make herself feel
Better and justified in this thread. It's actually sad how she keeps feeling the need to refer back to the few posters that agree with her. Actually every thread she posts is just
As ignorant and self serving. Just like the last one where she had to prove that everyone was carrying significant debt or lying bout it. Sorry - op, it's just u. I wouldn't even engage it anymore.
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| Posted 1/23/16 9:52 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by itsbabytime
Why is everyone still debating with this poster? This thread is ridiculous and pathetic and reeks of insecurity. I have friends of older kids that are very involved in their lives and you know what - their kids are amazing and accomplished because of it. My guess is the op feels down about herself and her family and is trying to make herself feel
Better and justified in this thread. It's actually sad how she keeps feeling the need to refer back to the few posters that agree with her. Actually every thread she posts is just
As ignorant and self serving. Just like the last one where she had to prove that everyone was carrying significant debt or lying bout it. Sorry - op, it's just u. I wouldn't even engage it anymore.
Wow from me asking what moms of older kids do when they stay home to now me being down on myself and insecure. Bawahhh..what a laugh.
Seems the only people who have a problem is the ones who, are not even in the situation I have discussed and want to put their 2 cents in.
This discussion actually started out with my dh who asked the question so I asked it to REAL SAHM's.
I'll try not to let any of my own life experience's to flow into this board anymore as it seems knowing different sides and many different types of people (like I do) is wrong on this board and when you give an example, you are basically told you are making things up and unhappy with your own life. lol.
I'm sorry afternoon but I agree with everything itsbabytime and hofstra have said. Just be real - you don't really care what SAHMs of older children do all day long. You just want them to ADMIT that they have tons of free time but are lying to their husbands to make it seem like they are soooo busy, just so they can stay home and not make any worth while contribution to society. So that's what your original post should say. Don't do it under the facade of "what do you do all day?" as if you are looking for suggestions. Just say "Why don't all the SAHMs of older kids admit that they are living in the lap of luxury and lying to the world about how busy they are?"
But again, either way it does come off as you are jealous. Let me guess, your sister with the pool who doesn't allow your kids to come over any time they want is a SAHM to kids who are in school all day.
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| Posted 1/23/16 9:59 AM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by itsbabytime
Why is everyone still debating with this poster? This thread is ridiculous and pathetic and reeks of insecurity. I have friends of older kids that are very involved in their lives and you know what - their kids are amazing and accomplished because of it. My guess is the op feels down about herself and her family and is trying to make herself feel
Better and justified in this thread. It's actually sad how she keeps feeling the need to refer back to the few posters that agree with her. Actually every thread she posts is just
As ignorant and self serving. Just like the last one where she had to prove that everyone was carrying significant debt or lying bout it. Sorry - op, it's just u. I wouldn't even engage it anymore.
Wow from me asking what moms of older kids do when they stay home to now me being down on myself and insecure. Bawahhh..what a laugh.
Seems the only people who have a problem is the ones who, are not even in the situation I have discussed and want to put their 2 cents in.
This discussion actually started out with my dh who asked the question so I asked it to REAL SAHM's.
I'll try not to let any of my own life experience's to flow into this board anymore as it seems knowing different sides and many different types of people (like I do) is wrong on this board and when you give an example, you are basically told you are making things up and unhappy with your own life. lol.
I'm sorry afternoon but I agree with everything itsbabytime and hofstra have said. Just be real - you don't really care what SAHMs of older children do all day long. You just want them to ADMIT that they have tons of free time but are lying to their husbands to make it seem like they are soooo busy, just so they can stay home and not make any worth while contribution to society. So that's what your original post should say. Don't do it under the facade of "what do you do all day?" as if you are looking for suggestions. Just say "Why don't all the SAHMs of older kids admit that they are living in the lap of luxury and lying to the world about how busy they are?"
But again, either way it does come off as you are jealous. Let me guess, your sister with the pool who doesn't allow your kids to come over any time they want is a SAHM to kids who are in school all day.
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| Posted 1/23/16 10:11 AM |
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Re: SAHM's with Kids in Full time School
Posted by lululu
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by itsbabytime
Why is everyone still debating with this poster? This thread is ridiculous and pathetic and reeks of insecurity. I have friends of older kids that are very involved in their lives and you know what - their kids are amazing and accomplished because of it. My guess is the op feels down about herself and her family and is trying to make herself feel
Better and justified in this thread. It's actually sad how she keeps feeling the need to refer back to the few posters that agree with her. Actually every thread she posts is just
As ignorant and self serving. Just like the last one where she had to prove that everyone was carrying significant debt or lying bout it. Sorry - op, it's just u. I wouldn't even engage it anymore.
Wow from me asking what moms of older kids do when they stay home to now me being down on myself and insecure. Bawahhh..what a laugh.
Seems the only people who have a problem is the ones who, are not even in the situation I have discussed and want to put their 2 cents in.
This discussion actually started out with my dh who asked the question so I asked it to REAL SAHM's.
I'll try not to let any of my own life experience's to flow into this board anymore as it seems knowing different sides and many different types of people (like I do) is wrong on this board and when you give an example, you are basically told you are making things up and unhappy with your own life. lol.
I'm sorry afternoon but I agree with everything itsbabytime and hofstra have said. Just be real - you don't really care what SAHMs of older children do all day long. You just want them to ADMIT that they have tons of free time but are lying to their husbands to make it seem like they are soooo busy, just so they can stay home and not make any worth while contribution to society. So that's what your original post should say. Don't do it under the facade of "what do you do all day?" as if you are looking for suggestions. Just say "Why don't all the SAHMs of older kids admit that they are living in the lap of luxury and lying to the world about how busy they are?"
But again, either way it does come off as you are jealous. Let me guess, your sister with the pool who doesn't allow your kids to come over any time they want is a SAHM to kids who are in school all day.
Nope she is not and that shows that you really have no clue why I asked, even when I explained it.
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| Posted 1/23/16 10:14 AM |
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