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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by passerby
I think everybody has a right to have a different opinion on the situation.
I might be more jugemental. I worked in the city as a teacher and a medic. Not all parents cn you feel sorry for:
On open school night when i sat there and no parents came in unless they needed their ssi disability form signed
or the school that needed to be open to feed the kids breakfast and lunch and the parents that don't get there to pick up there kids on time I'm sure they didn't get stuck at work.
I've seen people in apartments that are low rent or free with the state of the art equipment. they can't afford food but they have big screen tv's, playstation, ect
I think in these times we are all struggling but working hard, making scarficies and doing without for our families and it's hard to see some of my money going to these people when i would like to be home enjoying my kids then out working my a** off!
what does any of this have to do with the original post?
Do you know that this is a fact for the family spoken about? If you dont, then you are judging based on your knowledge maybe, but judging none the less without any info at all.
Not everyone is abusing the system. Just because one person does, doesnt mean every person DOES.
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Posted 8/18/08 8:02 AM  |
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passerby
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/08 47 total posts
Name:
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by passerby
I think everybody has a right to have a different opinion on the situation.
I might be more jugemental. I worked in the city as a teacher and a medic. Not all parents cn you feel sorry for:
On open school night when i sat there and no parents came in unless they needed their ssi disability form signed
or the school that needed to be open to feed the kids breakfast and lunch and the parents that don't get there to pick up there kids on time I'm sure they didn't get stuck at work.
I've seen people in apartments that are low rent or free with the state of the art equipment. they can't afford food but they have big screen tv's, playstation, ect
I think in these times we are all struggling but working hard, making scarficies and doing without for our families and it's hard to see some of my money going to these people when i would like to be home enjoying my kids then out working my a** off!
what does any of this have to do with the original post?
Do you know that this is a fact for the family spoken about? If you dont, then you are judging based on your knowledge maybe, but judging none the less without any info at all.
Not everyone is abusing the system. Just because one person does, doesnt mean every person DOES.
But that was my point i said i people may judge on their past experiences they have had or seen
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| Posted 8/18/08 8:10 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
It's funny, I could understand any of these "abusing the system" posts if the couple had been using food stamps or welfare checks or something like that.
They were using a GIFT CARD - to buy cheap pasta!!!
Not quite the same as buying a 60" flatscreen.
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| Posted 8/18/08 8:13 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by passerby
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by passerby
I think everybody has a right to have a different opinion on the situation.
I might be more jugemental. I worked in the city as a teacher and a medic. Not all parents cn you feel sorry for:
On open school night when i sat there and no parents came in unless they needed their ssi disability form signed
or the school that needed to be open to feed the kids breakfast and lunch and the parents that don't get there to pick up there kids on time I'm sure they didn't get stuck at work.
I've seen people in apartments that are low rent or free with the state of the art equipment. they can't afford food but they have big screen tv's, playstation, ect
I think in these times we are all struggling but working hard, making scarficies and doing without for our families and it's hard to see some of my money going to these people when i would like to be home enjoying my kids then out working my a** off!
what does any of this have to do with the original post?
Do you know that this is a fact for the family spoken about? If you dont, then you are judging based on your knowledge maybe, but judging none the less without any info at all.
Not everyone is abusing the system. Just because one person does, doesnt mean every person DOES.
But that was my point i said i people may judge on their past experiences they have had or seen
Gotcha...I guess what some of us are doing is showing you how wrong and hurtful your judgements can be.
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| Posted 8/18/08 8:16 AM |
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sunnyplus3
:)
Member since 11/05 8749 total posts
Name:
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
I mentioned in my OP that I did wonder why it was 1:00 on a Friday & neither of them were at work, but I chaulked it to them being OUT OF WORK, not lazy. Their clothes were not new or fancy, they weren't buying non-essentials, they were just trying to eat.
I'm not sure how they fall into the category with people that ride the system. If they were IN the system, they would have had food stamps & left with food!
Message edited 8/18/2008 8:18:37 AM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 8:17 AM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
It is sad. I would feel bad, too. Some people just don't realize what it is like out there sometimes. I work for a finance company and see it all the time and it makes me Think about it ~ If someone has a job where they make $10 an hour (which is way above minimum wage) that is $400/ week. X4.3 = $1720/month. $20,000 a year BEFORE taxes! Now take taxes out of that. It leaves @ 1350/month. Now pay rent ANYWHERE on long island. AN absolute minimum of $600/ mo and that is the price for a cheaper studio. That leaves $750 mo for a phone (which in my opinion is a necessity) travel expenses to and from work, food, clothes, possibly gas and electric. IN THIS ECONOMY. What is left? And these estimations are conservative. Now add a child into the mix and or possibly a car and insurance, it is a miracle some people can get by at all. 
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| Posted 8/18/08 9:34 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
I think there are a lot of things that are sad about this situation.
First of all that this family had this experience. Secondly that our society has come to what it is with people "milking" the system that so many people are incredibly cynical when it comes to situations like this.
We have no idea what was going on with the family Kelly posted about. Maybe the woman was a SAHM and the man had a steady job, then the man lost his job recently. Maybe a family member or friend helped them by giving them a giftcard for groceries. Maybe they decided to cut costs by getting rid of their home phone and keeping just the cell phone. Maybe the man had an interview the next day. Maybe the man works the night shift and his hours were cut. There are a million explanations for what was going on, and yes one possible one is they are trying to milk the system, but there are so many more possibilities out there.
I try to put myself in that situation. What if me or DH or both of us loses our job and we are trying to buy necessities and something like that happened to us. Would someone in the supermarket see me pregnant and assume I have 8 other kids and am taking advantage of honest taxpayers? I would hope not, but based on the majority of responses on that thread, it seems that would be the case.
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| Posted 8/18/08 10:36 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by SweetTooth
I think there are a lot of things that are sad about this situation.
First of all that this family had this experience. Secondly that our society has come to what it is with people "milking" the system that so many people are incredibly cynical when it comes to situations like this.
We have no idea what was going on with the family Kelly posted about. Maybe the woman was a SAHM and the man had a steady job, then the man lost his job recently. Maybe a family member or friend helped them by giving them a giftcard for groceries. Maybe they decided to cut costs by getting rid of their home phone and keeping just the cell phone. Maybe the man had an interview the next day. Maybe the man works the night shift and his hours were cut. There are a million explanations for what was going on, and yes one possible one is they are trying to milk the system, but there are so many more possibilities out there.
I try to put myself in that situation. What if me or DH or both of us loses our job and we are trying to buy necessities and something like that happened to us. Would someone in the supermarket see me pregnant and assume I have 8 other kids and am taking advantage of honest taxpayers? I would hope not, but based on the majority of responses on that thread, it seems that would be the case.
Very well said!!!
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| Posted 8/18/08 10:51 AM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
I feel bad for the people who have no money to eat. It makes me sad. What makes me MAD is the people who use the EBT (food stamps) cards to get cash out and then buy beer and cigarettes. Glad im paying for that!
Message edited 8/18/2008 11:21:22 AM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 11:19 AM |
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ETAB
Mother Mary Pray for us
Member since 7/07 2052 total posts
Name:
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by KellyFG
Posted by Jennie0898
So yes, it's frustrating when I see a 16 year old with a child in a stroller and pregnant, holding a cigarette in her perfectly manicured, acrylic tipped hands, talking to on her razor cell phone to someone about needing to go get food stamps.
Yes, I have seen that EXACT situation with my OWN two eyes and ears and it makes my blood boil.
I hear you, I actually went to social services once when my son was around five to ask for "emergency food stamps" because I was in financial straights and had no food money. I was "too proud" to ask to borrow money so I thought I could get a little help. I was told NO after waiting there ALL DAY, because I EARNED something like 7 dollars more in my gross pay than I was allowed in order to qualify. So they let me leave, knowing I only needed temporary help, knowing I had a child & I said we had no food, knowing I had a friggin job...they didn't care.
I understand FULLY how effed up the system is but I still don't think pregnant mothers should be hungry or babies should be without diapers.
YOu see that makes me sad... the actual system.. you are doing everything you need to do and you were trying but you really needed help and they did not give it to you b/c you make $8 more. What if this young couple couldnt get food stamps or govt assistance b/c they made $8 more that is so unfair. They would probably be better off if they didnt work and tried to cheat the system, they would most likely be able to buy the things you really need. It is sad that people who try to do the right thing and the ones who really need the help cant get it.
Message edited 8/18/2008 11:48:24 AM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 11:47 AM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
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*
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by june262004
I feel bad for the people who have no money to eat. It makes me sad. What makes me MAD is the people who use the EBT (food stamps) cards to get cash out and then buy beer and cigarettes. Glad im paying for that!
You can't use food stamp benefit cards to get cash. It doesn't work like that. Many people get their SS checks/SSI/child support on those types of cards, so maybe that's what you are seeing.
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| Posted 8/18/08 12:53 PM |
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JP826
=)
Member since 9/06 10903 total posts
Name:
Me!! All about ME!
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Wow.. That is terribly sad. This is a real eye opener & just once again reminds us all to count our blessings. 
Stuff like this really bothers me because this can easily happen to any one of us with a blink of an eye.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:00 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by Summerrluvv
Posted by june262004
I feel bad for the people who have no money to eat. It makes me sad. What makes me MAD is the people who use the EBT (food stamps) cards to get cash out and then buy beer and cigarettes. Glad im paying for that!
You can't use food stamp benefit cards to get cash. It doesn't work like that. Many people get their SS checks/SSI/child support on those types of cards, so maybe that's what you are seeing.
Its still easy to get cash....what those who scam do now since they started using the EBT/Benefit card---they will let someone use their card to buy some groceries and stuff....lets say they go "you can get $200 in groceries -- just give me $100 when you're done"
trust me--its still easy to "sell" your WIC money & food stamps---i've seen it first hand.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:08 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
I think this is so sad. It is even sadder that as a society we have become so cynical. In a situation like this, I would gladly fork over $20 so that someone can eat. Why? Because that $20 to me is meaningless - I spend it so quickly on random things and it would mean more to them than it ever did to me. And if they were milking the system? then at least my conscience is clear knowing that I helped someone who could have been in need.
Yes, there are irresponsible people out there and there are also people who try to do everything right and still fall upon hard times.
I think it is horrible to say that people "like that" should not be having children. So people of lower means have no right to enjoy the feeling of parenthood? Yes, children need food but they also need love and there are many children raised in loving households where means may be tight.
Who decides how much $$ a family should have in order to have children. For example, my DH and I do pretty well so for us it may mean that you should not have children if you cannot feed them, afford to send them to private school, and private universities...that is ridiculous and I do not think I am anyone to tell someone under what financial situations they should have children.
Message edited 8/18/2008 1:16:09 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:15 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Summerrluvv
Posted by june262004
I feel bad for the people who have no money to eat. It makes me sad. What makes me MAD is the people who use the EBT (food stamps) cards to get cash out and then buy beer and cigarettes. Glad im paying for that!
You can't use food stamp benefit cards to get cash. It doesn't work like that. Many people get their SS checks/SSI/child support on those types of cards, so maybe that's what you are seeing.
Its still easy to get cash....what those who scam do now since they started using the EBT/Benefit card---they will let someone use their card to buy some groceries and stuff....lets say they go "you can get $200 in groceries -- just give me $100 when you're done"
trust me--its still easy to "sell" your WIC money & food stamps---i've seen it first hand.
I'm sure people do that, but I assumed the PP meant using the actual food stamp benefits card to get cash back on a purchase or from the ATM and then buy beer and cigarettes. Of course the scam you just posted, you would have to be way to interested to follow them and find out what they purchase after selling their groceries for half price.
Now if the person gets cash assitance on their EBT card (which I hear cash assistance is pretty slim these days), I'm sure some do spend that money friviously.
This thread makes me sad, because I'm sure there are many families on here struggling to make ends meet and could very well benefit from some sort of government help for food/medical, etc. and with all the judgement flying around, they might feel they don't "deserve" the help that they may qualify for.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:17 PM |
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NOJUSTICE
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/08 39 total posts
Name:
JENN
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:18 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
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MJ
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by stickydust
Who decides how much $$ a family should have in order to have children. For example, my DH and I do pretty well so for us it may mean that you should not have children if you cannot feed them, afford to send them to private school, and private universities...that is ridiculous and I do not think I am anyone to tell someone under what financial situations they should have children.
Flame me if you will--sorry if this offends....but if you can not provide for YOURSELF the basic necessities to get by in life....a job...a roof over your head....without asking the government to help you...then nope...i don't think you should have a child. guess what? that child will enter the system young and the cycle continues over and over and over again. THAT is the reason the system is flawed because people continue to raise GENERATIONS under welfare and food stamps. why should they bother with a job? the govt gives out FREE MONEY! That is the problem with so many people who use the system.
And not ALL of the people using public assistance fall into this category, but many do. Heck my sister used food stamps at one point in her life--she need some help. She used it---got off of it and is very successful and independent. Yet my ILs are examples of people who just don't think they need to hold a job. They just kept having kid after kid after kid....using money for drugs and barely even teaching their kids anything beyond how to swipe their "Benefit" card.
So yeah, I'll admit it--i think there are people who should NOT be allowed to have children.
ETA: and i think there is a difference between falling on hard times and needing help AFTER the fact--like having a baby and such and people lose jobs. and those that are born into the system, and never bother to leave it and continue to wait for the 1st of the month for their govt check and then pop out more kids.
Message edited 8/18/2008 1:25:51 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:24 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Flame me if you will--sorry if this offends....but if you can not provide for YOURSELF the basic necessities to get by in life....a job...a roof over your head....without asking the government to help you...then nope...i don't think you should have a child. guess what? that child will enter the system young and the cycle continues over and over and over again. THAT is the reason the system is flawed because people continue to raise GENERATIONS under welfare and food stamps. why should they bother with a job? the govt gives out FREE MONEY! That is the problem with so many people who use the system.
Wow, that's sort of harsh...and not necessarily true.
I grew up on welfare, food stamps and public assistance. We were the family that stood on line for the free cheese.
My mother got divorced from my father when we were all little, had little to no education and went on welfare.
Yet NOT ONE of us is on welfare or receiving public assistance. Five children work and pay their taxes.... we are all self sufficient.
To the point that when my brother almost died of an enlarged aorta, he wasn't eligible for disability and we all chipped in to pay his bills and help him and his wife survive.
ETA: Because of her education and upbringing, my mother had two more children after us...
Blows that theory to h*ll....doesn't it?
Message edited 8/18/2008 1:40:50 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:39 PM |
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roxygrl8
......
Member since 6/06 2987 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
I think Gerty is right for the situation of people falling hard on hard times. And I think MrsPBJ is right for people who milk the system. Unfortunately there is no way of knowing unless you know the people.
In general both situations contribute to our education crisis (mostly the people who milk the situation). Each family no matter what side of the fence you sit on deserves a chance and a great education. The down on your luck/hard times side she get all the help in the world and it's well deserved. The other side (milkers) strict laws and restrictions should be put into place, but the kids still deserve a chance. Bill and Melinda Gates have been researching this and it come down to what we are talking about combined with the US government and state legislatures. www.gatesfoundation.org
Message edited 8/18/2008 1:45:52 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:43 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
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MJ
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by Gertyrae
Wow, that's sort of harsh...and not necessarily true.
I grew up on welfare, food stamps and public assistance. We were the family that stood on line for the free cheese.
My mother got divorced from my father when we were all little, had little to no education and went on welfare.
Yet NOT ONE of us is on welfare or receiving public assistance. Five children work and pay their taxes.... we are all self sufficient.
To the point that when my brother almost died of an enlarged aorta, he wasn't eligible for disability and we all chipped in to pay his bills and help him and his wife survive.
ETA: Because of her education and upbringing, my mother had two more children after us...
Blows that theory to h*ll....doesn't it?
Nope it actually doesn't. Your mom had to go on public assistance because she fell on hard times and like I said before, I totally get that....and my own sister had that happen to her.
What I am talking about are people who are ALREADY ON ASSISTANCE their whole lives.....can't hold down a job cause a)they just don't want to and b)they were never TAUGHT that you should work to earn what you want. They grow up seeing their moms and dads using the system and MILKING the sh*t out of it, and then when they are getting older they start having kids young....and therefore the VISCIOUS CYCLE continues.
I NEVER said that the entire system is flawed--please re-read what I said. What I was speaking of were those who DO abuse the system and continue to use the "free money" because they can. And I'll say it again, if you can't or won't work to provide for yourself and are anxiously awaiting the 1st of the month for your govt check (like members of my own family and ILs do) then you should not be producing more babies that the taxpayers are paying for. In the instance of your family, that is clearly not the case. Sadly for others, they never leave the system and grow up to be responsible adults and holding their own.
Message edited 8/18/2008 1:51:16 PM.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:51 PM |
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mrslobo2007
LIF Infant
Member since 12/06 209 total posts
Name:
Alison
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Can some people get off their soapboxes please? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and those of us who feel one way dont need others to show us the light and change our minds, when we have witnessed first hand people who arent doing the right thing. Not saying the people that the OP posted about are or are not doing the right thing, but this has turned into something else entirely.
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| Posted 8/18/08 1:52 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Didn't they create a cap on welfare a while back? A person can't be on welfare for more than 5 years during their entire lifetime or something like that? So I don't know that people live off the system their ENTIRE lives anymore.
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| Posted 8/18/08 2:26 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
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MJ
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by Summerrluvv
Didn't they create a cap on welfare a while back? A person can't be on welfare for more than 5 years during their entire lifetime or something like that? So I don't know that people live off the system their ENTIRE lives anymore.
I don't think that went thru---because I've known people who are continuing to remain on welfare for years and years still today.
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| Posted 8/18/08 2:36 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Not for nothing- but I am COMPLETELY with Gerty on this one.
First of all- I have received Waldbaums gift cards from my MIL for b-days, christmas, etc. She likes to give those because she knows it helps us out on a week where we have to pay an extra bill or make a car payment. I hardly think that makes me poor!? And I have on occasion had to put something back because all I brought was $100 and maybe I picked up an extra package of cookies and it came to $103.
Secondly- What makes you think that they don't have a job. Because they were shopping during the day?? Maybe he works at night? maybe as a waiter or something.
Third- It makes me so mad that any of you people think you have the right to judge who should be allowed to have a child! Because they are young does not mean they are immature or irresponsible. Maybe they were stocking up on diapers because they HAD a giftcard to use. Everyone should be concerning themselves with their own lives and leaving other people alone.
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| Posted 8/18/08 2:46 PM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: saw something the other days that is still bothering me
Posted by KellyFG
Be thankful for what you have & don't assume people that have less don't deserve more.
perfectly put
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| Posted 8/18/08 3:56 PM |
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