So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I've been asking DH for a double stroller and kept putting it off because I didn't need it just yet. Baby was just born. He came home yesterday with a double stroller. Not the one we talked about. It was a graco ready2grow and we had agreed on the city mini because DC1 likes to still sit and nap in the stroller. She couldn't do this in the ready to grow. Well when I saw it I asked him why he got that one and DD wouldn't like it. I started to cry he got mad and left to return it. He's not talking to me now. He said I'm ungrateful. I cried and got so upset at myself that all he was trying to do was something nice and I got upset because it wasn't what I wanted. I hurt his feelings and got him so upset. I feel awful. He slept in the guest bedroom last night and left for work and didn't even wake me like he normally does to say goodbye. I know im wrong in my reaction but I'm upset that he did this on his own when we originally had a plan on what we were going to get then he made the decision to get what he wanted.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I don't think you're a horrible wife at all. To be honest, I think your DH overreacted BIG time. Well, you both probably did, but you get a pass because you just had a baby and you're hormonal
Just tell him that you do appreciate the gesture, but you had your heart set on the City Mini.
I’m sure he’ll get over it.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Don't feel bad! He didn't get what the two of you agreed on. Had he done so you wouldn't have been disappointed.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Posted by StaceyWill

I don't think you're a horrible wife at all. To be honest, I think your DH overreacted BIG time. Well, you both probably did, but you get a pass because you just had a baby and you're hormonal
Just tell him that you do appreciate the gesture, but you had your heart set on the City Mini.
I’m sure he’ll get over it.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Awwww he should definitely be a little bit more understanding that you want the strolller that you talked about and I agree that he totally overreacted! You're hormonal and and not a horrible wife at all. I would have been pissed at my DH as well if he got something that I did not want. Its not about being ungrateful at all.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Posted by Mariabella

Posted by StaceyWill

I don't think you're a horrible wife at all. To be honest, I think your DH overreacted BIG time. Well, you both probably did, but you get a pass because you just had a baby and you're hormonal
Just tell him that you do appreciate the gesture, but you had your heart set on the City Mini.
I’m sure he’ll get over it.

I agree.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

So not a horrible wife!!

I'm usually one to suck it up and BE grateful but this is a stroller that you're going to use constantly.

It sounds like one of those fights that wasn't a fight until it became one.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Thank you guys for the replies. I called my aunt and she said what all of you pretty much said. I just wish he saw it this way that we are both wrong here. He hold things against me for a while before he lets it go. I hate that he's not talking to me. We never really fight but when we do its over the dumbest things!! I guess I shouldn't complain but it just sucks!

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Noooooooooo, you are not horrible.

Strollers aren't cheap, so when you agreed on certain features & he didn't get one that accomodated, I'm sure you got upset.

I'm sure if you told him why, he'll understand you weren't being ungrateful, just practical.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

DH does things like this and it drives me crazy. Yes, it's nice he was being thoughtful but that's a big purchase and to not have what you really want/need is silly. I don't think you're at all wrong (or even horrible for that matter! ) for saying it's not what you want. Otherwise, your DC would not be able to use the stroller as you had intended.

It sounds like DH is being a big baby to me. Have you ever bought him something that wasn't exactly what he wanted or what he would usually get and he told you? If yes, then I'd be sure to bring that up to him so he realizes how ridiculous he's being. I'd tell him you're sorry he's upset but keeping a stroller (which usually costs a few hundred dollars) that doesn't fit your needs is not a good idea.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Are you serious?

I'd be pissed that my DH wasn't paying attention to which stroller. I would have started the fight.

The gesture? Go online and order the stroller and get it delivered in 2 days.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I don't think you're horrible at all. I actually think he needs to get over himself. If he wanted to do something nice, why didn't he pick up the one he knew you wanted?

I would have told him to take his a$$ back to the store and come home with the right stroller!

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I dont think you are horrible at all. Honestly, I think you both overreacted a little. You seem to recognize that and your DH needs to get over it . This too shall pass!!

So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I think the two of you just had a misunderstanding. You're not horrible. I would just say sorry and go to the store and pick out the stroller you want together. Make it a family outing.

Message edited 4/18/2013 11:31:28 AM.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I don't think you're a horrible wife. Your emotions got the best of you. If anything, this is just a lesson to be learned that you may not always get exactly what you want but to be grateful and see the good in what he did try to do

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Posted by Lucky

Posted by Mariabella

Posted by StaceyWill

I don't think you're a horrible wife at all. To be honest, I think your DH overreacted BIG time. Well, you both probably did, but you get a pass because you just had a baby and you're hormonal
Just tell him that you do appreciate the gesture, but you had your heart set on the City Mini.
I’m sure he’ll get over it.

I agree.

Emotions are running wild and free with a new little one so I think maybe you are both letting your emotions get the best of you. I agree...thank him but tell him you expected something different and that you couldn't keep your emotions in check at that time. Having children is stressful...

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Def not a horrible wife! I think you're both in a tough spot and probably feel let down. You had your heart set on something so it's hard to be happy about his surprise. On his side, I don't think men understand how important "the right" stroller is to a mom and he probably expected a very different reaction. Tell him how awesome it was of him to get the stroller, but it's a big investment and you want it to be the one you discussed.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

I agree 100% with everyone. It was a misunderstanding between the two of you that escalated and you probably both over reacted. But sleeping in another room?!?! I'd talk to him, I have a feeling the stroller isn't the issue. Sleeping in another room seems way to drastic for the situation you described.

So tell me what a horrible wife I am

He slept in the guest room? Are you serious? And YOU feel bad?

Come on. Don't let his immature actions make you think you're the one at fault here. You just had a baby. You're allowed to cry over anything you want to cry over! You said you AGREED on the city mini - why would he bring home something else!? That's not cool.

You are not wrong and your DH needs to get over himself. Order the city mini yourself on Amazon right now and enjoy it in 2 days.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Wow he is overreacting. If my DH pulled that guilt shiot he would be on the couch by MY choice, but I am harsh. Why would he pick out something other than what you agreed on? Then be upset that you are upset? I would be very hurt. Just go ahead and order what you wanted, I would not acknowledge his behavior until he wants to talk.

Re: So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Posted by StaceyWill

I don't think you're a horrible wife at all. To be honest, I think your DH overreacted BIG time. Well, you both probably did, but you get a pass because you just had a baby and you're hormonal
Just tell him that you do appreciate the gesture, but you had your heart set on the City Mini.
I’m sure he’ll get over it.

So tell me what a horrible wife I am

Your so not wrong! Totally not a horrible wife! In fact i think your dh grossly overreacted. He actually sounds like my dh. Sounds and acts just like him its scary lol

He should have gotten the stroller you decided on. Just tell him you appreciate him going to pick it up but you need the city mini and you dontappreciate his over reaction either. To sleep in the guest bedroom and call you ungrateful is over the top and he did it to manipulate you into feeling guilty. My dh tries this all the time.