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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
car stolen with 2 kids in it
Car left running outside a store while the DAD ran inside.
Happens a lot.
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Posted 7/28/18 8:42 AM  |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I think that you have to know where you are - probably not a great idea to leave your kids in the car in Bridgeport, Connecticut.... It's not a safe area. I wouldn't go to the South Bronx and leave my kids in an unlocked car with it running. If I'm in, say, Smithtown, probably not that big of a deal since the rate of carjackings is probably right around ZERO.
As for the OP - yes, you should mind your own business.
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| Posted 7/28/18 10:39 AM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Personally, I wouldn’t have said anything bc if a mom leaves their kids in the car, then she’s obviously fine with it, ya know? But I totally would have done a double take and would silently judge since everyone says nothing will happen, until it does! But I’d also never allow a 13 to babysit my kids, which seeing from this thread, happens often. So that’s why I MMOB since everyone has a different approach to parenting.
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| Posted 7/28/18 12:09 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by mommy2B3
Personally, I wouldn’t have said anything bc if a mom leaves their kids in the car, then she’s obviously fine with it, ya know? But I totally would have done a double take and would silently judge since everyone says nothing will happen, until it does! But I’d also never allow a 13 to babysit my kids, which seeing from this thread, happens often. So that’s why I MMOB since everyone has a different approach to parenting.
Anything can happen at any time even if you are the best mom out there.
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| Posted 7/28/18 12:56 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I don't think it's a big deal. At 13, I was babysitting kids that age all the time on my own.
ETA - I would be sure to lock the doors though.
Message edited 7/28/2018 6:32:56 PM.
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| Posted 7/28/18 6:32 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by mommy2B3
Personally, I wouldn’t have said anything bc if a mom leaves their kids in the car, then she’s obviously fine with it, ya know? But I totally would have done a double take and would silently judge since everyone says nothing will happen, until it does! But I’d also never allow a 13 to babysit my kids, which seeing from this thread, happens often. So that’s why I MMOB since everyone has a different approach to parenting.
I agree. I’d probably be a little worried when I first saw it and I’d keep my eye on the car until the mom came back if I could. Otherwise I’d mind my own business.
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| Posted 7/28/18 7:34 PM |
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
One article does not mean it happens a lot. It means it has happened. Kids also die in car accidents, so you probably shouldn't drive them anywhere, and kids die in house fires, so the probably shouldn't be in houses. And both kids and moms die in child birth so no one should probably have kids in the first place. Seriously, if you worry about every what if, you'll never let you kid do anything. Kids need some independence and leaving them for a few minutes in the car can be one way to start teaching that.
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| Posted 7/28/18 9:37 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Threads like this are proof that the greatest enemy of moms are other moms.
Cut the bs. None of us are perfect. You're not making yourself look good by judging other moms. You're making other moms roll their eyes and stay away from you.
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| Posted 7/28/18 10:23 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by lululu
Posted by mommy2B3
Personally, I wouldn’t have said anything bc if a mom leaves their kids in the car, then she’s obviously fine with it, ya know? But I totally would have done a double take and would silently judge since everyone says nothing will happen, until it does! But I’d also never allow a 13 to babysit my kids, which seeing from this thread, happens often. So that’s why I MMOB since everyone has a different approach to parenting.
Anything can happen at any time even if you are the best mom out there.
So do you also not lock your doors to your house because someone could break in? The fact is, we all take precautions so that we prevent bad things from happening. It’s not to say that nothing bad will ever happen, but we have less of a chance having bad things happen if we don’t cut corners for convenience. But it’s not my place to tell another mom what to do, so while I may silently judge in this moment, I know there’s other things that people judge me for etc., that’s just life, it doesn’t make me better or them better.
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| Posted 7/29/18 8:17 AM |
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Another interesting article on the topic https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/27/opinion/sunday/motherhood-in-the-age-of-fear.html
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| Posted 7/29/18 6:11 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
This is interesting, that so many people are saying mind your business. If I thought the kids were young like OP thought I might have said something. Yes, the mom has the right to feel annoyed because OP did not know his age. But does anyone know the saying ,it takes a village. I was 13 when I started babysitting too BUT never in a car with 2 other young kids. Nothing wrong with saying something... esp if it was in nice way, you showed concern
too, add. hasen't anyone ever heard of kids taking the car out for a drive.....
Message edited 7/29/2018 6:30:55 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/18 6:26 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
You just never know people’s situations...I have a 6 yo with horrible, horrid autism and I literally can’t take him anywhere. He throws himself on the ground, hits his head against the concrete, hits me, runs into the street...I try to run all my errands when he’s in school etc, but sometimes im out of milk, diapers etc and I have no choice. He’s safer in the car in his car seat. I do always park RIGHT IN FRONT and grab what I need super quick and I stand by the door instead of online while waiting to pay and loudly explain my situation to the cashier and anyone else in the store. I don’t leave the car running - I’m afraid of high jacking - but I leave the windows open and am gone literally less than 2 min. I’m more afraid of a sanctimommy calling the police than I am of someone braking into a locked car and extricating my very difficult and heavy child while he is out of sight for less than 30 seconds.
Eta - if my 13 yo niece is available I actually swing by, pick her up, and then leave her in the car with him. I guess that’s still not good enough for people!
Message edited 7/29/2018 10:04:21 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/18 10:00 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I probably wouldn’t have said anything but would have watched and waitied until she came out and went in car just to feel better about the situation
I feel like a this type of situation you’re damned if you do / don’t. Because if these kids were on the news for some horrible accident , choke on toy, someone car jacked them ( My mom was abducted accidentally when she was sleeping in the back seat of my sisters car when they stopped to grab food from a 7-11 type place - totally happens) or kid accidentally put car in gear and hurt someone else, the OP would have felt horrible she didn’t say anything when her gut told her to.
Then there’s this side. She said something because she felt it necessary for the sake of the children In the car and she’s being ripped apart.
Message edited 7/29/2018 10:22:30 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/18 10:21 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
I wouldn't have said anything. I may have judged in my head but I would have had several thoughts on how the situation was. I would have thought she had a car started so she started to car that way.
If that was the case no one can steal the car the car shuts off as soon as you touch the break and the keys arent in the ignition. I have left my car started running while I ran insdie my housewith my young kids strapped in their car seats doors locked. I was never too concerned cause no one would have been able to steal the car.
If I was that concerned I would have walked by the car to see if keys were in the car. If the keys were in the car I would be a little more concerned and maybe just watch it to make sure nothing happened.
I think I would have judged more in my head if I thought the kid in the front seat was younger than 13. I would have thought I don't understand how people still don't know it is not recommended for kids under 13 to be in the front seat but that my car seat safety fanatic coming out. ( my judging would have only been in my head though and not said out loud)
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| Posted 7/29/18 10:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Does anyone really think saying anything would change the situation or change the mom's mind? Do you think she would say... "wow, thank you so much! I had no idea leaving the kids in the car was a bad idea! Thanks for educating me, let me go get them and bring them in" ?
Come on now.
Of course she is going to get defensive and say myob. I would too.
Regardless if what she did was right, wrong or otherwise, she obviously thought it was ok and saying something is not likely to change that.
Message edited 7/29/2018 11:21:30 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/18 11:21 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Could she have also taken the keys with her and left the car running using the auto start? Could the older kid have a cell phone to let her know if there was a problem? Maybe and maybe.
Either way, while it's not the smartest thing in the world to do, it's not going to win her worst mom of the year.
I think we ALL can agree that taking the kids in and out of the car multiple times is the biggest PITA. For a quick run into 7-11, with an older responsible kid in the car, with the car locked and running...I wouldn't have said anything.
Yes, something could have happened. But I think in this case, the convenience heavily outweighs any risk.
You just hope that the mom knows her kids and knows that they can handle her running into a quick mart. And that if she does it again, she will remember you and park near the entrance and not take her time shopping.
Message edited 7/29/2018 11:32:55 PM.
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| Posted 7/29/18 11:29 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by NervousNell
Does anyone really think saying anything would change the situation or change the mom's mind? Do you think she would say... "wow, thank you so much! I had no idea leaving the kids in the car was a bad idea! Thanks for educating me, let me go get them and bring them in" ?
Come on now.
Of course she is going to get defensive and say myob. I would too.
Regardless if what she did was right, wrong or otherwise, she obviously thought it was ok and saying something is not likely to change that.
Exactly. I can’t believe the lengths people would go to, to prove they are right. I would never stalk or question anyone’s parenting unless it was clear the kids were in danger. And in that case I would call the cops because you never know where confrontation will get you. Especially when you are with your kids.
ETA: it baffles me how many people have no problem going up to strangers to correct or scold them. Maybe commuting to the city has me jaded but people can be nuts.
Message edited 7/30/2018 8:50:43 AM.
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| Posted 7/30/18 8:49 AM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by Hopefulmama
You just never know people’s situations...I have a 6 yo with horrible, horrid autism and I literally can’t take him anywhere. He throws himself on the ground, hits his head against the concrete, hits me, runs into the street...I try to run all my errands when he’s in school etc, but sometimes im out of milk, diapers etc and I have no choice. He’s safer in the car in his car seat. I do always park RIGHT IN FRONT and grab what I need super quick and I stand by the door instead of online while waiting to pay and loudly explain my situation to the cashier and anyone else in the store. I don’t leave the car running - I’m afraid of high jacking - but I leave the windows open and am gone literally less than 2 min. I’m more afraid of a sanctimommy calling the police than I am of someone braking into a locked car and extricating my very difficult and heavy child while he is out of sight for less than 30 seconds.
Eta - if my 13 yo niece is available I actually swing by, pick her up, and then leave her in the car with him. I guess that’s still not good enough for people!
I am in your exact situation. I totally get it. But no one else does. I can not even begin to tell you that I know where every drive thru is and exactly what I can get there. And even that is often a challenge.
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| Posted 7/30/18 10:23 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by Hopefulmama
You just never know people’s situations...I have a 6 yo with horrible, horrid autism and I literally can’t take him anywhere. He throws himself on the ground, hits his head against the concrete, hits me, runs into the street...I try to run all my errands when he’s in school etc, but sometimes im out of milk, diapers etc and I have no choice. He’s safer in the car in his car seat. I do always park RIGHT IN FRONT and grab what I need super quick and I stand by the door instead of online while waiting to pay and loudly explain my situation to the cashier and anyone else in the store. I don’t leave the car running - I’m afraid of high jacking - but I leave the windows open and am gone literally less than 2 min. I’m more afraid of a sanctimommy calling the police than I am of someone braking into a locked car and extricating my very difficult and heavy child while he is out of sight for less than 30 seconds.
Eta - if my 13 yo niece is available I actually swing by, pick her up, and then leave her in the car with him. I guess that’s still not good enough for people!
Yet people think they have the right to judge because they know SO much better than you and are SO much better a parent.
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| Posted 7/30/18 10:30 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by NervousNell
Does anyone really think saying anything would change the situation or change the mom's mind? Do you think she would say... "wow, thank you so much! I had no idea leaving the kids in the car was a bad idea! Thanks for educating me, let me go get them and bring them in" ?
Come on now.
Of course she is going to get defensive and say myob. I would too.
Regardless if what she did was right, wrong or otherwise, she obviously thought it was ok and saying something is not likely to change that.
This exactly.
Also, at 13 I was in the same school as my sister (who was in Kindergarten at the time) and I picked her up from her classroom after school and walked her home and sometimes stayed with her until my parents got home.
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| Posted 7/30/18 11:01 AM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Also, and I know some people might think this is being too lax in my thinking...but I always think, what are the odds that at that moment that you're at the 7-11 in pretty little Cold Spring Harbor with your 13 year old in the car that a violent criminal just happens to be slinking around and sees your Honda Pilot and is like, PERFECT GETAWAY CAR WITH KIDS IN IT NO ONE IS GONNA KNOW I'M STEALING IT.
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| Posted 7/30/18 11:21 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by starbrightgirl8
Another interesting article on the topic https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/27/opinion/sunday/motherhood-in-the-age-of-fear.html
This article is on point. How many moms on here don't allow their kids to ride bikes in the street? Did you ride your bike at their age? I did! That's how I got to my friends' houses and stayed out of my mother's hair. My almost 7 year old still doesn't know how to ride a 2-wheeler and neither do any of his friends. It's pathetic really and it's always the same reasoning: It's different now. What's so different?
This is why there are "millennials". This generation of kids who are pampered and protected by mommy and daddy is going to carry on forever. These kids have zero coping skills, zero safety awareness, zero judgment and its all because parents are too busy keeping them supremely safe rather than allowing them to experience adversity - whether it be a scrape to the knee, a mean girl (sue the school district) or just being told no and/or "do it yourself". Mom and Dad are always to the rescue and is it because they are afraid of what other parents will say? Maybe.
As to the original question, if that was me, I would be fuming if a stranger said something about my 13 year old sitting in a car with my kids. That's ridiculous. What age is suitable? When they are old enough to vote? Drink alcohol? Maybe she parked further away so the car was in the shade. Either way, 13, even 10, even 8, is plenty old enough to sit in a parked car while mom grabs coffee IMO.
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| Posted 7/30/18 11:55 AM |
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by mrsrainbow
Also, and I know some people might think this is being too lax in my thinking...but I always think, what are the odds that at that moment that you're at the 7-11 in pretty little Cold Spring Harbor with your 13 year old in the car that a violent criminal just happens to be slinking around and sees your Honda Pilot and is like, PERFECT GETAWAY CAR WITH KIDS IN IT NO ONE IS GONNA KNOW I'M STEALING IT.
The odds are probably the same that a violent criminal is going to walk into that 7/11 and kill everyone so your kid would have been safer in the car!
Most accounts I've seen of a car getting stolen with kids in it, have the criminal then abandoning the car quickly, because they totally didn't mean to kidnap a child, just steal a car. So maybe just make sure it's obvious you're getting a kid with the car.
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| Posted 7/30/18 11:57 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by starbrightgirl8
Another interesting article on the topic https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/27/opinion/sunday/motherhood-in-the-age-of-fear.html
This article is on point. How many moms on here don't allow their kids to ride bikes in the street? Did you ride your bike at their age? I did! That's how I got to my friends' houses and stayed out of my mother's hair. My almost 7 year old still doesn't know how to ride a 2-wheeler and neither do any of his friends. It's pathetic really and it's always the same reasoning: It's different now. What's so different?
This is why there are "millennials". This generation of kids who are pampered and protected by mommy and daddy is going to carry on forever. These kids have zero coping skills, zero safety awareness, zero judgment and its all because parents are too busy keeping them supremely safe rather than allowing them to experience adversity - whether it be a scrape to the knee, a mean girl (sue the school district) or just being told no and/or "do it yourself". Mom and Dad are always to the rescue and is it because they are afraid of what other parents will say? Maybe.
As to the original question, if that was me, I would be fuming if a stranger said something about my 13 year old sitting in a car with my kids. That's ridiculous. What age is suitable? When they are old enough to vote? Drink alcohol? Maybe she parked further away so the car was in the shade. Either way, 13, even 10, even 8, is plenty old enough to sit in a parked car while mom grabs coffee IMO.
 
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| Posted 7/30/18 12:03 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Children left in car..curious of your thoughts
Posted by FirstMate
As to the original question, if that was me, I would be fuming if a stranger said something about my 13 year old sitting in a car with my kids. That's ridiculous. What age is suitable? When they are old enough to vote? Drink alcohol? Maybe she parked further away so the car was in the shade. Either way, 13, even 10, even 8, is plenty old enough to sit in a parked car while mom grabs coffee IMO.
I agree. If anyone ever dared to approach me and say ANYTHING about my parenting skills or anything at all for that matter, I would go off. It wouldn't be pretty.
Mind your own fuking business. Nobody asked for your opinion.
This reminds me of a post here on this board awhile back where someone saw a mom get shamed in Target for buying formula by some psycho and the mom was reduced to tears.
That wasn't ok in anyone's opinion, but this is?
My thing is, if you see me in a store and you don't know me, don't talk to me. Unless i have toilet paper hanging out of my ass and you want to let me know so I don't embarrass myself any further, just keep walking. I don't need to hear it.
Message edited 7/30/2018 12:05:13 PM.
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| Posted 7/30/18 12:04 PM |
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