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Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Non-parent here.
But honestly, I think this is just a perspective issue..and it all depends on where you are coming from, that will determine your perspective.
To me, the world has become MORE child tolerant than ever before.
My parents never even thought TWICE to try and insist that we be invited to a wedding or most parties at friend's houses, with them....yet these days many people get offended and upset and INSIST their kids be invited. They just firmly believed, its NOT a place for kids.
Or some restaurants, that were a little more upscale, because they didn't want to bring a toddler around, again, my folks weren't fans of bringing us out, they would get a sitter. But if I'm out at a place that I'm paying $60 for a steak, its just as likely children will be surrounding me, at tables with families. My folks will be out and say "I never brought you guys out to a place like this when you were so young, I just don't understand it....just not something you did years ago."
I'm not complaining about it --- but I think it just depends on what side of the spectrum you are, because to me, the world is all about being child centric...but clearly many moms on here may not feel the same way.
I am quoting this because I don't disagree here. I have no intention of taking my baby to a fancy dinner until she is old enough to sit nicely and quietly. I won't get offended if my child is not welcome at adult affairs-I don't think birth is going to cause amnesia and make me forget how I felt when I was a CF person.
But I think the best way to explain is this world is becoming so so intolerant of people who do it differently-KWIM? Not everyone, but some on each side.
But to tell me that I shouldn't take my stroller on public transportation or I shouldn't feed my baby in public (covered) when she is hungry, or I should leave the supermarket when I need to get food for my house and I have no choice but to bring my child or starve is not fair either. (Not that I am saying that the poster who I am quoting said this just to clarify)
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Posted 1/21/10 1:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsList
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
I think to some degree, parents are more lax (or maybe perceived to be more lax) with their kids so kids are not as well behaved as they used to be and that's what has added to the intolerance. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a restaurant, train, store, plane and a child is behaving badly and the parent is doing NOTHING and ignoring their behavior child while the child disrupts everyone else around them. If I see a parent is trying, then I am MUCH more patient than if they're just letting them run wild or ignoring them.
I also think that these few bad eggs give the rest of the parents a bad rap and as soon as a child starts acting out, people get irritated because they assume the worst (because they've SEEN the worst).
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:21 PM |
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pinkandblue
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by smdl
It think it's a general feeling of selfcenterness.
I don't think it's specific to children actually.
It's ANYTHING that annoy someone.
It's the red light and cannot wait because it would require waiting 3 minutes for another green light.
It's the line that is too long. The person who cuts in line while on her cellphone when the cashier says next and YOU were next but she can't wait.
It's driving in a turn only lane to cut in front of you at the end because they could not wait in the 1 lane road going straight.
It's the person at a stop sign who decides to pull in front of you at 15 mph because they are tired of waiting.
It's me me me!!!!!
The sense of entitlement has become such a huge issue.
But yes, then you will be told that YOU have a sense of entitlement because you use a stroller in a subway. That your 14 months old child should learn to walk. Geez... watch out if your kid is not walking by then!
I agree wholeheartedly 
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:26 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by smdl
I agree 100% with what Sophie said.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:28 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by munchkinfacemama
I am quoting this because I don't disagree here. I have no intention of taking my baby to a fancy dinner until she is old enough to sit nicely and quietly. I won't get offended if my child is not welcome at adult affairs-I don't think birth is going to cause amnesia and make me forget how I felt when I was a CF person.
But I think the best way to explain is this world is becoming so so intolerant of people who do it differently-KWIM? Not everyone, but some on each side.
But to tell me that I shouldn't take my stroller on public transportation or I shouldn't feed my baby in public (covered) when she is hungry, or I should leave the supermarket when I need to get food for my house and I have no choice but to bring my child or starve is not fair either. (Not that I am saying that the poster who I am quoting said this just to clarify)
Oh trust me, I do agree with you, and I was mostly just answering the OP's questions from my perspective. I have no real complaints about it, with the exception of the occasional parent who lets their kid run WILD in public. (That's a whole other story)
Those kinds of things don't bother me at all, (feeding a chiild, stroller on a subway, kid in supermarket), because even though I dont' have kids, I do remember that I ONCE WAS A KID! 
Too often as adults, I think that people forget, hey at one point you were the sloppy noise maker for YOUR parents! Your mom used to have to lug you around in a stroller and car seat, and feed you when you threw a tantrum, and felt embarrassed when you laid down in a toy store cause you wanted something and didn't get it.
I think that is what is lost on those who seem to be anti-child. Its almost as if they just forgot what it was like to be kid!
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:28 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
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Jen
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by smdl
It think it's a general feeling of selfcenterness.
I don't think it's specific to children actually.
It's ANYTHING that annoy someone.
It's the red light and cannot wait because it would require waiting 3 minutes for another green light.
It's the line that is too long. The person who cuts in line while on her cellphone when the cashier says next and YOU were next but she can't wait.
It's driving in a turn only lane to cut in front of you at the end because they could not wait in the 1 lane road going straight.
It's the person at a stop sign who decides to pull in front of you at 15 mph because they are tired of waiting.
It's me me me!!!!!
The sense of entitlement has become such a huge issue.
But yes, then you will be told that YOU have a sense of entitlement because you use a stroller in a subway. That your 14 months old child should learn to walk. Geez... watch out if your kid is not walking by then!
I agree wholeheartedly
oh yah and ITA!!!
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:29 PM |
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by smdl
It think it's a general feeling of selfcenterness.
I don't think it's specific to children actually.
It's ANYTHING that annoy someone.
It's the red light and cannot wait because it would require waiting 3 minutes for another green light.
It's the line that is too long. The person who cuts in line while on her cellphone when the cashier says next and YOU were next but she can't wait.
It's driving in a turn only lane to cut in front of you at the end because they could not wait in the 1 lane road going straight.
It's the person at a stop sign who decides to pull in front of you at 15 mph because they are tired of waiting.
It's me me me!!!!!
The sense of entitlement has become such a huge issue.
But yes, then you will be told that YOU have a sense of entitlement because you use a stroller in a subway. That your 14 months old child should learn to walk. Geez... watch out if your kid is not walking by then!
Well said!
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:30 PM |
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eddiesmommy
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by MrsList
I think to some degree, parents are more lax (or maybe perceived to be more lax) with their kids so kids are not as well behaved as they used to be and that's what has added to the intolerance. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a restaurant, train, store, plane and a child is behaving badly and the parent is doing NOTHING and ignoring their behavior child while the child disrupts everyone else around them. If I see a parent is trying, then I am MUCH more patient than if they're just letting them run wild or ignoring them.
I also think that these few bad eggs give the rest of the parents a bad rap and as soon as a child starts acting out, people get irritated because they assume the worst (because they've SEEN the worst).
But, you dont know how that persons day has gone. There are days where my son is a BEAR, maybe he doesnt feel well, maybe he is teething, but honestly if it is the 18th time that day he is melting down, my only choice is to shut my mouth, bc Im at my breaking point and I will yell bc Ive lost my patience. I dont like to yell at my son, and if I were to yell at him, then Id be judged as a bad parent anyway. As parents, we can only be pushed so far before we lose our cool too sometimes. So if it annoys you, think about how it could be for that parent who has a child in the terrible twos and deals with that day in and day out or has dealt with it ALL day long. Just bc we chose to have children doesnt mean we automatically have some tolerance switch that flips on.
Yes, Im sorry my child is screaming, yes its embarrassing, thank you for judging me, but I dont give an f what you think, bc as you can see, Im already having a bad day. At least you get to go somewhere after where this wont continue for you....can I go with you. Thats what I think when its happening, sometimes, if its been a LONG day like that.
It IS NOT life altering for you to have to **gasp** tolerate a small child, another human being for an hour or less.
Its one thing to be childfree, its another to be anti-child.
Message edited 1/21/2010 1:31:58 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:30 PM |
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by munchkinfacemama
I am quoting this because I don't disagree here. I have no intention of taking my baby to a fancy dinner until she is old enough to sit nicely and quietly. I won't get offended if my child is not welcome at adult affairs-I don't think birth is going to cause amnesia and make me forget how I felt when I was a CF person.
But I think the best way to explain is this world is becoming so so intolerant of people who do it differently-KWIM? Not everyone, but some on each side.
But to tell me that I shouldn't take my stroller on public transportation or I shouldn't feed my baby in public (covered) when she is hungry, or I should leave the supermarket when I need to get food for my house and I have no choice but to bring my child or starve is not fair either. (Not that I am saying that the poster who I am quoting said this just to clarify)
Oh trust me, I do agree with you, and I was mostly just answering the OP's questions from my perspective. I have no real complaints about it, with the exception of the occasional parent who lets their kid run WILD in public. (That's a whole other story)
Those kinds of things don't bother me at all, (feeding a chiild, stroller on a subway, kid in supermarket), because even though I dont' have kids, I do remember that I ONCE WAS A KID!
Too often as adults, I think that people forget, hey at one point you were the sloppy noise maker for YOUR parents! Your mom used to have to lug you around in a stroller and car seat, and feed you when you threw a tantrum, and felt embarrassed when you laid down in a toy store cause you wanted something and didn't get it.
I think that is what is lost on those who seem to be anti-child. Its almost as if they just forgot what it was like to be kid!
Very well said!
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:31 PM |
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timanda
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Amanda
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by Gatsbygirl
I don't think people have any right to expect the whole world to admire or welcome their child.
There ARE places for children, but that is not to say they should be welcomed everywhere. If I go out w/o mi kids to a "nicer" restaurant I really don't think I would enjoy a child making noise. There are times and places for everything and there is nothing wrong with that.
I'm not a parent, but I really appreciate your perspective on this topic.
I love kids. I love seeing them laugh and squeal in supermarkets, out in public, etc. I completely understand that it is not possible to control everything your toddler does and I would NEVER  at a parent who appeared to be trying to keep their kid calm and happy. But there is a time and place for everything and I am frustrated when I go somewhere meant for adults and a parent brings their cranky, loud child with them and doesn't seem to notice ANYTHING that child is doing. Unfortunately, there are sacrifices that come with parenthood, and I don't think those sacrifices should be imposed on those who don't have children (or those who do, but got a sitter for the night).
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:33 PM |
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by eddiesmommy
Posted by MrsList
I think to some degree, parents are more lax (or maybe perceived to be more lax) with their kids so kids are not as well behaved as they used to be and that's what has added to the intolerance. I can't tell you how many times I've been in a restaurant, train, store, plane and a child is behaving badly and the parent is doing NOTHING and ignoring their behavior child while the child disrupts everyone else around them. If I see a parent is trying, then I am MUCH more patient than if they're just letting them run wild or ignoring them.
I also think that these few bad eggs give the rest of the parents a bad rap and as soon as a child starts acting out, people get irritated because they assume the worst (because they've SEEN the worst).
But, you dont know how that persons day has gone. There are days where my son is a BEAR, maybe he doesnt feel well, maybe he is teething, but honestly if it is the 18th time that day he is melting down, my only choice is to shut my mouth, bc Im at my breaking point and I will yell bc Ive lost my patience. I dont like to yell at my son, and if I were to yell at him, then Id be judged as a bad parent anyway. As parents, we can only be pushed so far before we lose our cool too sometimes. So if it annoys you, think about how it could be for that parent who has a child in the terrible twos and deals with that day in and day out or has dealt with it ALL day long. Just bc we chose to have children doesnt mean we automatically have some tolerance switch that flips on.
Yes, Im sorry my child is screaming, yes its embarrassing, thank you for judging me, but I dont give an f what you think, bc as you can see, Im already having a bad day. At least you get to go somewhere after where this wont continue for you....can I go with you. Thats what I think when its happening, sometimes, if its been a LONG day like that.
It IS NOT life altering for you to have to **gasp** tolerate a small child, another human being for an hour or less.
I have to agree with Melissa here. I worked in the court system. I defended children of neglect.
I am sure that some people are just bad parents. Which is what kept me busy at work.
But unfortunately, I don't want to tell you HOW MANY CPS reports were filed because someone disciplined their unruly child in public. And I am not talking physical. Just yelling. Or if you have to pull your child who plants themselves on the ground and won't move. So they are damned if they do, damned if they don't.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:34 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by Jazzyt
This was well put
With that said I do think there are places that children do not belong (weddings are a great example..IMO) hair/nail salons and thats just because I feel a child should not have to sit still while their mother is getting her hair done for two hours its just not fair to the child and honestly a salon is no place for a child to run around. Children should not have to sit still, they are kids they should be loud and ask questions and laugh out loud, run around etc.
I do find myself telling my DD to behave when we're in the supermarket or a church, no running and thats my parenting style thats really not a place to be running and kids also need to learn that certain places you just can't make noise yes she is a toddler now so she may not get it but eventually she will I do not think I'm altering my parentying style because of society but I believe I am instilling right from wrong so eventually she will get it.
Gis, this is me to the T! ITA!!!!!! I NEVER EVER take Ella to beauty salon or nail salon. Gary and I don't think it is a place for her right now especially with all the fumes from the chemical that they use in the salons.
Message edited 1/21/2010 1:36:56 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:34 PM |
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GioiaMia
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
My whole thing is, guess what - sometimes life s*cks.
Sometimes, you go to the supermarket and there is a kid screaming next to you, for a whole ten minutes.
Sometimes, you get on a place and a baby is crying for the takeoff.
Sometimes, you are in the mall and someone is letting their kids run all over the place and possibly get in your way.
You know what? get over it. It is a tiny portion of your life. move on.
I am NOT saying that parents should allow their children to be maniacs. But people need to get over themselves as well. Unless you can have a personal shopperor fly first class - you will have to deal with it.
yesterday there was a crying baby in the supermarket. DH and I were behind her - we started sticking our tongues out at her until she started hysterically laughing. Then she flung her shoes at us LOL i asked the mother if it was okay and i put them back on her. Even if she sobbed teh whole time we were on line - who cares, get over it - you are grocery shopping, not at the spa LOL
And I am the BIGGEST believer in STRICT discipline for children - I just don't let little things like that ruin my day.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:35 PM |
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Heather617
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Heather
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
To be honest, I don't. I haven't experienced this. I don't live on LI anymore so I don't know if it is a location thing or not. My son is always invited to all parties (weddings and other) and people are constantly telling me to bring him places. If someone did make a face or comment because my son was being loud in a grocery store or something, I would just ignore them. I do agree that there are places where you probably shouldn't take your child but a grocery store or something is not one.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:35 PM |
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
So I feel like I should post because I had DS by myself for a full year while DH was in AFghanistan. I can say I have been the person to walk through the supermarket with a screaming child, I have been the one in resturants with my child throwing a tantrum and I will say one thing people need to get over things. Seriously!!! Moaning over the fact that a kid is screaming in a PUBLIC place. Yea back in the old days kids were "better" behaved. But hey back in the day beating on your kid was also acceptable. This being said I would never take my kid to a wedding, or cry and complain because a friend didn't want my kid at their wedding. Some places are reserved for NON child things. But seriously as we as mothers suppose to stay inside all year long because someone doesn't want to see my kid.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:42 PM |
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smdl
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me
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by Tilde
My whole thing is, guess what - sometimes life s*cks.
Sometimes, you go to the supermarket and there is a kid screaming next to you, for a whole ten minutes.
Sometimes, you get on a place and a baby is crying for the takeoff.
Sometimes, you are in the mall and someone is letting their kids run all over the place and possibly get in your way.
You know what? get over it. It is a tiny portion of your life. move on.
I am NOT saying that parents should allow their children to be maniacs. But people need to get over themselves as well. Unless you can have a personal shopperor fly first class - you will have to deal with it.
yesterday there was a crying baby in the supermarket. DH and I were behind her - we started sticking our tongues out at her until she started hysterically laughing. Then she flung her shoes at us LOL i asked the mother if it was okay and i put them back on her. Even if she sobbed teh whole time we were on line - who cares, get over it - you are grocery shopping, not at the spa LOL
And I am the BIGGEST believer in STRICT discipline for children - I just don't let little things like that ruin my day.
ITA. It's not like us parents have not been CF before. Like we don't understand.
I don't want to hear a kid screaming when I eat at a fancy restaurant. I just shelled out $$$ on a babysitter to be kid free and enjoy ONE evening with DH once a year.
I don't want my seat to be kicked by a kid in an airplane for HOURS!!!!!
I do teach DS to not scream in particular places. He MUST hold my hand anywhere we go. He is not allowed to roam free at the PED office. But I cannot predict what he will say and when. It's part of teaching! Some parents will be more lax and some will not.
But asking a mom of a child to get a smaller stroller, to make a toddler be quiet while in line at the grocery store(honestly.. try it... it's quite "fun"!!!), I think it's unrealistic and I just cannot comprehend that. There is a reason we have strollers. That''s because we have to get the kid somewhere. I would pass on a stroller. But hey, I am not stroller free just yet. So yes, I am just as annoyed to have to haul this thing. But what choice do I have really?
It's like asking an handicaped person to get a smaller wheelchair. I don't get it.
Message edited 1/21/2010 1:45:29 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:44 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
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Melissa
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Well I'll freely admit I am one of "those" parents who have taken my kids into "fine dining" establishments. Nothing on the level of Le Cirque but think a Mortons or something similar. We took our 12 week old infants to Ruth's Chris and they didn't make a peep the whole time. Since then we have taken them to many restaurants. We're not big on the Happy McFunster type places but have taken them to Mexican places and things like that.
When I do this I bring toys, snacks and dinner for them. If they raise their voices in happiness we tell them shhh and whisper-therefore my kids at 14 months have learned to whisper It is MY responsibility as a parent to make sure my kids are respecting their environment. Hopefully by exposing them to this they will learn how to behave in a nice restaurant.
In my experience most people have been very nice to us. We sometimes get raised eyebrows from the staff as we walk in but as we leave we always get compliments(we didn't even know they were her etc.)
I have never really gotten any rude comments or looks from anyone just smiles and commiseration if I am in stores and they act up.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:47 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by eddiesmommy
Its one thing to be childfree, its another to be anti-child.
I agree and I see this alot...since when are children any less of a "person" than an adult
they need to eat, they need to go to the supermarket with mom or dad, etc
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:48 PM |
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LoriH
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Lori
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
We have become a very narcissistic, me oriented society. People feel entitled to have their needs met. I don't think this has anything to do with children, parents, non parents, dog lovers ect.
In regard to if I think the world has become less child friendly, I think it is actually the opposite. There was a time when children were to be seen and not heard. Now we have family specific events, family friendly restaurants, special shopping carts at the supermarket, daycare at gyms, play places specifically for children, crayons and coloring books at many restaurants, changing tables in restrooms, family restrooms, family rooms at malls with bottle warmers and diaper machines.
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| Posted 1/21/10 1:53 PM |
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timanda
Puppy Love
Member since 6/08 1627 total posts
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Amanda
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by eddiesmommy
i think everyone justs needs to get over themselves and accept that kids are people too, they make noise and throw tantrums. It is NOT a reflection of good or bad parenting, it is the nature of children, at least toddler aged children.
Yes, there are places were children dont belong, but out on the street, in stores, on public transportation, I think people just need to stop being so self centered and concerned with how it is affecting me, me, me. Is your life any worse off an hour later bc of it, no, so get over it.
Im sorry, but thats how I feel.
Well I would agree with you in some respects. HOWEVER, I have had quite a few experiences where children were let completely loose in a public place. One time, a 4 or 5 year old was allowed to push a cart around. He couldn't see in front of it and they were running with it and he slammed it into my hip. I didn't even get an "I'm sorry", nor did the father react and take the cart away. So YEAH, I . The outside world is not a playroom, and it should be treated accordingly. Yes there are places where you have to go with your kid, and they may not always be in the best of moods, but those around you can certainly tell when you are trying to be considerate of those around you and when you couldn't care less what kind of damage he/she is doing.
Oh and I have been out to dinner with a toddler and his parents where he was allowed to yell and sing and slam a plate on the table because they thought it was SO SO cute. I was mortified, and our table was getting looks and eyerolls, and I had first hand knowledge that the parents were NOT attempting to quiet that child.
So *I* would say that it's frustrating when parents forget that there are other people around them. Aren't those parents just as guilty of being self centered?? It's all a matter of perspective. And that's JMO of course.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:01 PM |
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Marbo
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
nowadays with both parents working and such, we have such little time with our children. I don't want to give up any time with them, whether it's to go to a restaurant, wedding etc .
ITA with this.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:02 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by timanda
Posted by eddiesmommy
i think everyone justs needs to get over themselves and accept that kids are people too, they make noise and throw tantrums. It is NOT a reflection of good or bad parenting, it is the nature of children, at least toddler aged children.
Yes, there are places were children dont belong, but out on the street, in stores, on public transportation, I think people just need to stop being so self centered and concerned with how it is affecting me, me, me. Is your life any worse off an hour later bc of it, no, so get over it.
Im sorry, but thats how I feel.
Well I would agree with you in some respects. HOWEVER, I have had quite a few experiences where children were let completely loose in a public place. One time, a 4 or 5 year old was allowed to push a cart around. He couldn't see in front of it and they were running with it and he slammed it into my hip. I didn't even get an "I'm sorry", nor did the father react and take the cart away. So YEAH, I . The outside world is not a playroom, and it should be treated accordingly. Yes there are places where you have to go with your kid, and they may not always be in the best of moods, but those around you can certainly tell when you are trying to be considerate of those around you and when you couldn't care less what kind of damage he/she is doing.
Oh and I have been out to dinner with a toddler and his parents where he was allowed to yell and sing and slam a plate on the table because they thought it was SO SO cute. I was mortified, and our table was getting looks and eyerolls, and I had first hand knowledge that the parents were NOT attempting to quiet that child.
So *I* would say that it's frustrating when parents forget that there are other people around them. Aren't those parents just as guilty of being self centered?? It's all a matter of perspective. And that's JMO of course.
I do agree that parents who let their children run wild are to blame....my dd can be a bit "spirited" at times...she has melt downs often...I am the kind of mom who will bribe her with candy to get her to behave which usually works
I am sure people will judge me and over that but I just don't give a f*** 
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:04 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by timanda
Posted by eddiesmommy
i think everyone justs needs to get over themselves and accept that kids are people too, they make noise and throw tantrums. It is NOT a reflection of good or bad parenting, it is the nature of children, at least toddler aged children.
Yes, there are places were children dont belong, but out on the street, in stores, on public transportation, I think people just need to stop being so self centered and concerned with how it is affecting me, me, me. Is your life any worse off an hour later bc of it, no, so get over it.
Im sorry, but thats how I feel.
Well I would agree with you in some respects. HOWEVER, I have had quite a few experiences where children were let completely loose in a public place. One time, a 4 or 5 year old was allowed to push a cart around. He couldn't see in front of it and they were running with it and he slammed it into my hip. I didn't even get an "I'm sorry", nor did the father react and take the cart away. So YEAH, I . The outside world is not a playroom, and it should be treated accordingly. Yes there are places where you have to go with your kid, and they may not always be in the best of moods, but those around you can certainly tell when you are trying to be considerate of those around you and when you couldn't care less what kind of damage he/she is doing.
Oh and I have been out to dinner with a toddler and his parents where he was allowed to yell and sing and slam a plate on the table because they thought it was SO SO cute. I was mortified, and our table was getting looks and eyerolls, and I had first hand knowledge that the parents were NOT attempting to quiet that child.
So *I* would say that it's frustrating when parents forget that there are other people around them. Aren't those parents just as guilty of being self centered?? It's all a matter of perspective. And that's JMO of course.
yes but you are citing cases where the child is OBVIOUSLY acting out and inappropriately. I was addressing situations where a child is screaming on line at the supermarket, or likewise situations that have been mentiond. In no WAY did I say it was OK to run around like a lunatic, slamming into people, parents not apologizing.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:07 PM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
I think the times have changed. Parenting styles have changed. I guess its just a fact of life. Things change.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:09 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Non-parent here.
But honestly, I think this is just a perspective issue..and it all depends on where you are coming from, that will determine your perspective.
To me, the world has become MORE child tolerant than ever before.
My parents never even thought TWICE to try and insist that we be invited to a wedding or most parties at friend's houses, with them....yet these days many people get offended and upset and INSIST their kids be invited. They just firmly believed, its NOT a place for kids.
Or some restaurants, that were a little more upscale, because they didn't want to bring a toddler around, again, my folks weren't fans of bringing us out, they would get a sitter. But if I'm out at a place that I'm paying $60 for a steak, its just as likely children will be surrounding me, at tables with families. My folks will be out and say "I never brought you guys out to a place like this when you were so young, I just don't understand it....just not something you did years ago."
I'm not complaining about it --- but I think it just depends on what side of the spectrum you are, because to me, the world is all about being child centric...but clearly many moms on here may not feel the same way.
I agree with this.
My dad traveled a lot & when he was away, my mother would bring us out to eat. We started at a nice restaurant & every time we misbehaved, we went down a level. I remember my sisters fighting in Friendly's & all of us having to role playing being asked out by a boy "No, I'm sorry. I am an animal & can only eat at McDonald's"
In all seriousness, I believe we are more baby/child friendly than ever before. Places to accomodate children, more upscale restaurants serving early dinners to families. My oldest is 8 years old & I've only encountered a child intolerant situation once. Making an early dinner reservation at an expensive steakhouse in Manhattan. Calling in for 4 adults & 4 children, no reservations were available. Calling in for 8 people, no problem.
But I do agree with Sophie in that there is a self-centeredness that increased dramatically since I was a kid - a self centeredness to not accept children for fear of them throwing a tantrum AND a self-centeredness to those thinking their child's tantrums shouldn't bother others. That alone I could see your point in thinking there are more child intolerance.
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| Posted 1/21/10 2:15 PM |
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