Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

I totally agree with the OP, I find myself shhhing my 9 month old too and he is a baby! I am wrong for that!

On the other side, I've gone out to dinner (non-kid friendly rest.) with DH at 8:30-9pm to have a evening with no children (for our anniversary), and had to listen to a kid throw a fit for 30 minutes during dinner. I felt that I could;ve stayed home, saved money and it would've been quieter at home. I think if parents are going to take their kids to an adult restaurant, it should be late afternoon/early evening or the kid needs to be in check. I dont blame the child (it was too late and probably very boring for him), the parents should not have put DC in that situation.

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

There are some places children just don't belong. A evening wedding, lasting until midnight, get a sitter so the kid can go to bed. An infant in a movie theater....you're just asking for a disturbance, not just for yourself, but everyone around you. Upscale restaurants, not a place for children, unless they are REALLY well behaved. My 2 yo wouldn't last 5 minutes without making a some type of scene.

Supermarkets, parks, stores, malls, the general public, is fair game. Every parent, including myself, for the most part does the best they can to keep their kids under control. It's those that don't even try that are annoying. I was waiting on line at Old Navy and this kid hit me in the back with one of those nerf-like footballs. It didn't hurt. But do you think the father even made that kid apologize? He was just like "you hit that lady." That was it. No "say your sorry." or even an apology from himself. I was so annoyed by the whole thing.

I adore my daughter. EVERYTHING she says and does is amazing to me. Is every child like that to me? No. I don't expect strangers to get a kick out of her. I try my best to keep the tantrums to a minimum and keep her under control. If other people don't like it, well too bad. She's a kid.

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

I don't think anything has changed. It just depends on where you go and what type of person will be there.

I try to avoid places that 10m DS would not be welcome. If we're invited to functions, I always ask if it would be appropriate to bring DS. I do this because I used to be one of those people who were intolerant of children.

Often I hoped I would not be seated next to the baby on a plane. If I was at a nice restaurant and heard a crying baby or saw kids running around, I wished it was an adult only restaurant. I wanted an adult only wedding and was annoyed when a few of my parents' friends brought their kids even though they were not invited. I'd be ****** if I was at a nice spa and I heard young children.

I understand what it's like to be on the other side so I would never be offended if others were not tolerant of my child. Recently I've been taking DS out more to hang out with our friends. I've noticed that a lot of the places that I used to go to are not child friendly so I am going to make sure that we try to go to child friendly places only from now on.

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

I can't believe I'm getting involved in this....
But, I will say this...
I still don't feel that children should be welcome at weddings, certain restaurants,etc. There's a time and a place, and a baby or toddler does not belong at certain times and places.
I do think that people are much less tolerant these days. But I also think that modern parents are wayyyyyy too tolerant of their children in general.
I was CF until 6 months ago and I'm 44-probably the oldest new parent on these boards I've watched a lot of friends have babies around me in these last 20ish years and tried to pick what I think was the best approach to child-rearing. But, I'm also learning as I go that there is a big difference between watching someone else's child and having your own.
Growing up, we were never allowed to make a peep when we went out. But we never went to nice restaurants or weddings, we went to the diner - and we behaved. My mother never took us to family functions, yet my sister had no qualms bringing her screaming baby to a baby shower (without even checking first).
My opinion - people are self-absorbed.
Parents think the world should revolve around them and their children, and people without children think the children should be "seen and not heard"...and they shouldn't have SUV strollers.


BTW, I have an SUV stroller. It's my only stroller....as in I have no other...if I HAD to take the subway, I would have to use the SUV stroller...but I don't use the subway. When we took DS into the city, we drove in.

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

Posted by DRMom

Well I'll freely admit I am one of "those" parents who have taken my kids into "fine dining" establishments. Nothing on the level of Le Cirque but think a Mortons or something similar. We took our 12 week old infants to Ruth's Chris and they didn't make a peep the whole time. Since then we have taken them to many restaurants. We're not big on the Happy McFunster type places but have taken them to Mexican places and things like that.

When I do this I bring toys, snacks and dinner for them. If they raise their voices in happiness we tell them shhh and whisper-therefore my kids at 14 months have learned to whisper It is MY responsibility as a parent to make sure my kids are respecting their environment. Hopefully by exposing them to this they will learn how to behave in a nice restaurant.

In my experience most people have been very nice to us. We sometimes get raised eyebrows from the staff as we walk in but as we leave we always get compliments(we didn't even know they were her etc.)

I have never really gotten any rude comments or looks from anyone just smiles and commiseration if I am in stores and they act up.

Message edited 1/22/2010 9:28:40 AM.

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

Posted by GoldenRod

I get annoyed when ADULTS are talking loudly on their cellphones at a nice restaurant, when ADULTS are yelling at each other in public places, when ADULTS are having a hissy fit because something isn't the way they want it, when ADULTS get waaaayyyy to drunk at wedding receptions and ruin it for everyone else.... It's not just kids that are disruptive...

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

I don't know if it is a matter of being more or less tolerant or more of a matter of people becoming jaded towards kids because there are alot of parents out there who let their kids just run free.

While an excited child's squeal and an upset's child's cry is all understandable and there is nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't try to change it.

There are the kids where you go to nice restaurants and the parents are just sitting down eating, drinking and chatting with each other while their kids are running around the restaurant and they have no regard for the others in there. Those are the ones that that make it intollerable and i think make it worse for those of us who actually watch over our kids and don't let them have the run of the place.

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

Re: Do you feel that the world is becoming child intolerant? (LONG)

I feel that establishments have become more child friendly but people have just become RUDE and disregard others feelings. So one step forward two steps back. Times have changed where people actually had ettiquite in the past. I've heard adults say things to parents about their kid's behavior that was totally inappropriate and I have seen parents ignore their child when they act up and not try to diffuse the situation.

My DD is high spirited and can be stubborn at times so we would NEVER take her to a wedding even though most invite her and her sister. Upscale restaurants are a no. We know our kid and dont want to inconvenience others since shes a KID and we are TEACHING her how to be a caring adult so guess what she will have times she may not be on the best behavior but pity the person who says something to say me about it in a rude way.
People forget that they were once children themselves.

People are ME focused which explains many of the issues we have today.